쉐도잉 연습: How to Get Over Someone - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기
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We tend to be generous towards people who can't get over someone.
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It sounds romantic, if a little sad.
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The love affair happened a year ago but still the ex's thought remain loyal to every detail of the story.
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Maybe they've moved to another country.
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Perhaps they've married someone else.
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Maybe, they're dead. None of it matters.
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The most famous fictional love affair of the 18th century Goethe's Sorrows of Young Werther is a hugely sympathetic study of this kind of romantic fixation.
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The hero, Werther, an ardent young student falls passionately in love with a charming and beautiful woman named Charlotte.
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She likes him but doesn't love him back in part because she's married to someone else.
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There are plenty of other nice women who single, attractive, and interested in Werther.
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But, he has no time for them.
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The only one he cares for is Charlotte.
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The one who doesn't care for him.
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Eventually, unable to have Charlotte's love Werther decides to kill himself.
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The novel proved hugely charming to its original audiences.
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Who praised it for its deep and pure understanding of love This sort of unrequited passion so often celebrated in literature and society more generally may sound generous, and in that sense, loving, but, a devotion to an unrequited situation is in truth, a clever way of ensuring that we won't end up in a relationship at all.
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That we won't ever need to suffer the realities of love.
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Fixation on an absent other allows us to be publicly committed to love while privately sheltered from any of its more arduous demands.
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The fear of love maybe motivated by a range of factors A squeamishness around hope, a self-hatred which makes someone else's love feel eerie, or a fear of self revelation which breeds a reluctance to let anyone into the secret part of ourselves.
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The fears are serious and deserve sympathy.
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But they are generally not the issues that the romanticly fixated person ever wants to discuss.
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They prefer to keep the spotlight on the unresponsive ex, rather than on their motives for continuing to dwell on them.
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The way to unfixate is not to tell ourselves that we never like the person.
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It's to get very serious and specific about what the attraction was based on.
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And then to come to see that the qualities we had admired in the ex must necessarily exist in the other people who don't have the set of problems that make the original relationship impossible.
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The careful investigation of the character of one person, paradoxically but very liberatingly shows that we could in fact, also love someone else.
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This is not an exercise in getting us to give up on what we really want.
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The liberating move is to see that what we want has to exist in places beyond the pain enducing character we originally identified it in.
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We should gently recognize that being dissapointed and abandoned has its curious satisfactions.
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It is in an emotional sense, a very safe position to be in indeed.
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Yet true love isn't to be acquitted with pining for an absent figure.
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It means daring to engage with a truely frightening prospect.
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A person who is available and thinks despite our strong background supposition to the contrary that we're really rather nice.
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That is perhaps, the only sort of challenge that properly deserve the lyrical and grand word ROMANTIC.
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이 레슨에 대해
"How to Get Over Someone"으로 쉐도잉 기법을 사용해 영어를 연습합니다.
매일 15~30분 꾸준히 연습하면 IELTS 스피킹에 대한 자신감이 길러집니다.
쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법
쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.