Shadowing Practice: Stop Explaining Yourself to Everyone | Mel Robbins #Shorts - Learn English Speaking with Video
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- Stop trying to make everyone else understand your choices.
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Let them misunderstand you.
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Let them think you're wrong, misguided or strange.
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Let them think it's cringy, because you're not responsible for making people understand.
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You know, like I keep telling you, there's something in life that you will never be able to control, And that's other people.
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What they think, what they do, what they believe, whether or not they understand what's going on or they're questioning you.
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That means you cannot control what another person thinks about you, about what you're doing, about what you're wearing,
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about your career moves, you will never, ever, ever, ever be able to control that, The only person your decisions need to make sense to is you.
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See, the things that you feel called to do, the changes that you want to make.
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the goals that you have.
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the things on your bucket list, They're all for you.
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They're not supposed to make sense to other people.
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Oftentimes, What I've found is that when you make changes in your life, it's the people who are closest to you that don't understand why you're changing.
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So when your family or friends are questioning you and they don't understand you, they are questioning you from their point of view.
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They're loving you from their point of view.
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They're seeing your decision through their fears, their limits, their life experiences.
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And you're going to want your partner to understand.
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You're going to want your parents to understand.
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You're going to want everybody in your life to get on board
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and be excited about your new morning routine or the fact that you want to become an influencer, that you're going to change your marriage, you're going to get divorced, or you're going to move to a different country.
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Or here's the big one.
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You choose not to have children.
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every holiday, like clockwork, somebody has to ask.
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So, um, You think you're gonna change your mind? as if I've decided not to have children is not a respectable answer.
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you can explain yourself until you're blue in the face.
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But no one will ever fully get you.
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and you can't control whether or not they ever do.
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So what does this mean?
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Whatever their assumptions and worries are about what you're doing, that's not your job to manage.
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Save your energy for living your life not defending it.
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Thank you.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “Stop Explaining Yourself to Everyone”. This video has 31 sentences and 404 words to shadow. The speech runs for 2:12. The speaker talks fast, about 184 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 93% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 12 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| defend verb | /dɪˈfɪnd/ | To ward off attacks against (something or someone). |
| routine noun | /ɹuˈtin/ | A course of action to be followed regularly; a standard procedure. |
| divorce noun | /dɪˈvɔːs/ | The legal dissolution of a marriage. |
| assumption noun | /əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/ | The act of assuming, or taking to or upon oneself; the act of taking up or adopting. |
| bucket noun | /ˈbʌkɪt/ | A container made of rigid material, often with a handle, used to carry liquids or small items. |
| respectable adjective | [ɹɪˈspɛk.tə.bl̩] | Deserving respect. |
| clockwork noun | /ˈklɑkwɝk/ | A mechanism powered by a coiled spring and regulated by some form of escapement; the power is transmitted through toothed gearwheels and used to drive a… |
| cringey adjective | /ˈkɹɪnd͡ʒi/ | Characterised by causing feelings of embarrassment; embarrassing. |
| influencer noun | /ˈɪnflu.ənsə(ɹ)/ | A person who or a thing which influences. |
| misguided adjective | /ˌmɪsˈɡaɪdɪd/ | Of a person: lacking proper guidance; misled or mistaken in one's actions or thinking. |
| misunderstand verb | /mɪs.ʌn.də(ɹ)ˈstænd/ | To understand incorrectly, while believing one has understood correctly. |
| oftentimes adverb | /ˈɔf.ənˌtaɪmz/ | Frequently; often. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- Let them think you're wrong, misguided or strange.
- They're loving you from their point of view.
- You're going to want your parents to understand.
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 25 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, they're, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- Long words — get the stress right: influencer /ˈɪnflu.ənsə(ɹ)/, misunderstand /mɪs.ʌn.də(ɹ)ˈstænd/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like defend, routine, divorce.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.