Shadowing Practice: the 1-step guide to finally loving yourself. - Learn English Speaking with Video
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What if I told you that the cause of much of your suffering, confusion, anxiety, shame, indecisiveness, bad decision-making, regret, lack of discipline, of confidence,
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of motivation, might be because you simply don't love yourself enough.
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Now, I know it's a bit of a buzzword.
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I know it's vague self-love.
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What the hell is that?
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And why should you care?
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Self-love, self-respect, self-esteem, they're all intertwined.
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And in my view, it's simply about treating yourself like someone you care deeply about.
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Someone you're rooting for.
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It's being your own biggest fan.
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It is knowing deeply and fully that you are deserving of love, respect, of good treatment, of a good life, of happiness.
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It is believing that you can be anything, do anything, overcome anything.
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And it has nothing to do with what you have, where you live, what you look like,
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but everything to do with what you are. In here.
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And up here, I guess.
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And about what you do to make sure that what you feel actually aligns with your actions.
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Now, self-love is not something that you accomplish.
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There is no finish line.
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It is a lifelong commitment, just like with any relationship.
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But it's the relationship that you have with yourself, which we tend to focus a little on,
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strangely enough, considering it is the longest relationship we will ever have.
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It's from the moment we're conceived until our very last breath.
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And no one else will be with you for that long, so I hope that answers the question as to why you should care.
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But now, let's get to the how.
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Define your moral compass and let it guide you through life.
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Your moral compass basically tells you what's right and what's wrong.
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How you should be treated and how you should treat others.
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It's your rulebook for life.
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Now, how do you decide what to put in your rulebook?
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Where do you even start?
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The overlapping question here is what do I stand for and what do I not stand for?
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And you figure that out by asking yourself a ton of questions, by reading, by educating yourself,
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but also honestly by learning through real life experience,
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by going through things and analyzing how it made you feel and what you would to do with that information moving forward.
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Let's take an example.
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Let's say person X did not take no for an answer
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and continued to pressure you for a good 5-10 minutes until they finally gave up.
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Let's say it's a friend who really wants you to go out with them and party and stay out late.
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And then you ask yourself, how did that situation make me feel?
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And how would I like to act should a situation like that occur again?
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Once you have been able to answer that question, put the answer in your rulebook for life.
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Either physically, write it down, or take a mental note in all caps.
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And so you might decide that the actions that you are going to take if a similar situation occurs is action one,
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I will immediately tell them that they are pressuring me and it's making me feel uncomfortable.
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Action 2.
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If they continue, I will remove myself from that situation.
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I will not care about how that makes them feel.
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I will not stay just to make them happy or to avoid making it awkward.
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No. I will tell them how I feel and if they disregard that, I am out.
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You do not abandon yourself to satisfy someone else.
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Okay, let's say that again because it's so important.
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I don't abandon myself to satisfy someone else.
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And that, my friends, is the act of self-love.
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It is defining situations that make you feel a certain way, whether that is someone else doing something or you doing something to yourself,
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and taking the necessary action to make sure that you feel comfortable, fulfilled, whatever the situation is.
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Because remember, you care about yourself so very deeply and you only want what's best for you.
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And now let's take another everyday example that is more about what you do
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and that does not involve what someone else says or does.
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So personally, I don't litter.
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I know, gold and sar.
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Not even a tiny issue, not even if no one else is around and no will ever know.
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Because side note, when no one is around and no one will ever know, that's when your true character shows.
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So pay close attention to how you act when you're by yourself.
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You know, your moral compass should not only apply when you're being watched.
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That implies, in my opinion, weak character.
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But that's a different topic.
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And now because I know that I don't want to litter, I know that, hmm, okay, if I go on a picnic,
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for example, I need to bring some sort of a container that I can throw the trash in.
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I set myself up for success.
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I live in alignment with what I believe to be right, and that is the act of self-love.
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Don't give yourself or people discounts.
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Could you walk into any store and tell them, hey, I'm special, so you're going to give me a 25% discount?
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No, you can't.
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The prices are set, and if you can't afford it, leave.
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It's not negotiable.
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The same applies for your rulebook.
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Because you are your own store, your own house, and the cost of entry is the rules
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that you have for yourself and for others who would like to enter and who would like to stay.
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So another example, let's say that your rulebook says, I don't want to be yelled at.
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In my book, literally, that applies across the board.
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I don't want my sister to yell at me, I wouldn't want a partner to yell at me,
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and I wouldn't want a boss to yell at me.
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And I also wouldn't want to yell at myself.
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I'm no exception.
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I don't give myself discounts either.
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Now, all of those relationships that I mentioned are,
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of course, different, and we might handle it differently depending on the person and the situation and act accordingly.
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But the fact remains that I am not okay with it.
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I am protecting little me, and little me will not put up with being yelled at.
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It is the action that matters.
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Now, it's not enough to say that you will or won't do something or that you will not tolerate XYZ.
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The defining moment is, is, what do you do when it happens?
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Do you love yourself enough to change?
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To walk away?
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To let go?
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How deep is this love that you have for yourself?
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Well, the depth is measured in the actions that you take.
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Don't expect a 100% success rate.
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Now look, we all do things that we look back on and feel stupid about, that we regret, that might feel out of character,
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things that, in hindsight, we can't really stand behind.
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You know, there are so many circumstances that can affect our actions, that make our actions not always align with this compass,
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with our rulebook, and what we believe to be true and to be right.
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So, I think the goal of making the right decisions 10 out of 10 times isn't attainable
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because we're human beings and we say dumb things, we do dumb things, and we make mistakes.
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You know, I too do things where I look back
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and I feel like that was out of character or that was unlike me or it's something that, given the chance, I might have done differently.
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But those moments are becoming less and less the more
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that I love myself because I do believe so strongly in the values
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and principles that I have set and that I let guide me through life.
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But it takes practice.
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For some people, walking away or saying no or changing the direction in your life can be very difficult.
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And the more you do it, the easier it'll become to look after yourself.
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And any other alternative will be off the table.
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze spreekles is gebaseerd op de video “the 1-step guide to finally loving yourself”. Deze woorden komen het vaakst terug: situation, self, Action, yell, rule. Deze video bevat 79 zinnen en 1055 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 6:42. De spreker praat in een natuurlijk tempo van ongeveer 157 woorden per minuut, dicht bij een alledaags gesprek. 86% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden; de rest kun je beter vooraf bekijken. 14 van de 79 zinnen zijn vragen, dus het is goede oefening voor vraagintonatie en korte antwoorden.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
15 woorden uit de video die het leren waard zijn, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| yell werkwoord | /jɛl/ | schreeuwen |
| moral bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈmoɹəl/ | moreel |
| define werkwoord | /dɪˈfaɪn/ | bepalen, determineren |
| compass zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈkʌmpəs/ | kompas |
| occur werkwoord | /əˈkɜː/ | plaatsvinden |
| discount zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈdɪskaʊnt/ | korting |
| abandon werkwoord | /əˈbæn.dən/ | opgeven, prijsgeven |
| satisfy werkwoord | /ˈsætɪsfaɪ/ | voldoen, voldoende zijn |
| litter zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈlɪt.ɚ/ | strooisel |
| topic zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈtɑpɪk/ | onderwerp, thema |
| everyday bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈɛvɹiˌdeɪ/ | alledaags |
| anxiety zelfstandig naamwoord | /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/ | bezorgdheid, ongerustheid |
| suffer werkwoord | /ˈsʌfɚ/ | lijden |
| happiness zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈhæpinɪs/ | blijheid, blijdschap |
| commitment zelfstandig naamwoord | /kəˈmɪtmənt/ | verbintenis, verplichting |
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
| Woord | Betekenis |
|---|---|
| give up werkwoord | zich overgeven |
| put up with werkwoord | ondergaan, verdragen |
Zinnen om te herhalen
Korte, volledige zinnen uit de video die je in alledaagse gesprekken kunt gebruiken:
- I know it’s a bit of a buzzword.
- Why would you care?
- Where do you even start?
- What do I not stand for?
- Do you love yourself enough to change?
Grammatica in deze video
De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:
| Structuur | In de video |
|---|---|
| Voorwaardelijke zinnen if + zin, will/would + werkwoord — een voorwaarde en het gevolg | If they continue, I will remove |
| Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet | should be treated · being watched · are set |
| Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt | have been · have set |
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 39 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals don't, I'm, won't. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: trash /tɹæʃ/, exception /əkˈsɛpʃən/, tissue /ˈtɪʃ.(j)u/, motivation /ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/, confusion /kənˈfjuːʒən/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, motivation /ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, accordingly /əˈkɔɹ.dɪŋ.li/
Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:
- Stemhebbende eindmedeklinker — /b/, /d/, /g/, /z/, /v/ niet verscherpen: awkward /ˈɔk.wɚd/, involve /ɪnˈvɑlv/, depend /dɪˈpɛnd/, vague /veɪɡ/, disregard /dɪsɹɪˈɡɑɹd/
- /æ/ — opener dan de Nederlandse “e”: abandon /əˈbæn.dən/, satisfy /ˈsætɪsfaɪ/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, happiness /ˈhæpinɪs/, trash /tɹæʃ/
- /g/ — een harde plofklank, geen Nederlandse “g”: regret /ɹɪˈɡɹɛt/, vague /veɪɡ/, disregard /dɪsɹɪˈɡɑɹd/, negotiable /nɪˈɡoʊʃəbəl/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als yell, moral, define.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.