Shadowing Practice: the 1-step guide to finally loving yourself. - Learn English Speaking with Video
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What if I told you that the cause of much of your suffering, confusion, anxiety, shame, indecisiveness, bad decision-making, regret, lack of discipline, of confidence,
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of motivation, might be because you simply don't love yourself enough.
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Now, I know it's a bit of a buzzword.
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I know it's vague self-love.
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What the hell is that?
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And why should you care?
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Self-love, self-respect, self-esteem, they're all intertwined.
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And in my view, it's simply about treating yourself like someone you care deeply about.
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Someone you're rooting for.
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It's being your own biggest fan.
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It is knowing deeply and fully that you are deserving of love, respect, of good treatment, of a good life, of happiness.
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It is believing that you can be anything, do anything, overcome anything.
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And it has nothing to do with what you have, where you live, what you look like,
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but everything to do with what you are. In here.
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And up here, I guess.
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And about what you do to make sure that what you feel actually aligns with your actions.
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Now, self-love is not something that you accomplish.
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There is no finish line.
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It is a lifelong commitment, just like with any relationship.
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But it's the relationship that you have with yourself, which we tend to focus a little on,
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strangely enough, considering it is the longest relationship we will ever have.
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It's from the moment we're conceived until our very last breath.
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And no one else will be with you for that long, so I hope that answers the question as to why you should care.
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But now, let's get to the how.
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Define your moral compass and let it guide you through life.
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Your moral compass basically tells you what's right and what's wrong.
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How you should be treated and how you should treat others.
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It's your rulebook for life.
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Now, how do you decide what to put in your rulebook?
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Where do you even start?
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The overlapping question here is what do I stand for and what do I not stand for?
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And you figure that out by asking yourself a ton of questions, by reading, by educating yourself,
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but also honestly by learning through real life experience,
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by going through things and analyzing how it made you feel and what you would to do with that information moving forward.
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Let's take an example.
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Let's say person X did not take no for an answer
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and continued to pressure you for a good 5-10 minutes until they finally gave up.
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Let's say it's a friend who really wants you to go out with them and party and stay out late.
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And then you ask yourself, how did that situation make me feel?
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And how would I like to act should a situation like that occur again?
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Once you have been able to answer that question, put the answer in your rulebook for life.
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Either physically, write it down, or take a mental note in all caps.
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And so you might decide that the actions that you are going to take if a similar situation occurs is action one,
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I will immediately tell them that they are pressuring me and it's making me feel uncomfortable.
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Action 2.
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If they continue, I will remove myself from that situation.
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I will not care about how that makes them feel.
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I will not stay just to make them happy or to avoid making it awkward.
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No. I will tell them how I feel and if they disregard that, I am out.
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You do not abandon yourself to satisfy someone else.
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Okay, let's say that again because it's so important.
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I don't abandon myself to satisfy someone else.
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And that, my friends, is the act of self-love.
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It is defining situations that make you feel a certain way, whether that is someone else doing something or you doing something to yourself,
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and taking the necessary action to make sure that you feel comfortable, fulfilled, whatever the situation is.
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Because remember, you care about yourself so very deeply and you only want what's best for you.
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And now let's take another everyday example that is more about what you do
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and that does not involve what someone else says or does.
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So personally, I don't litter.
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I know, gold and sar.
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Not even a tiny issue, not even if no one else is around and no will ever know.
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Because side note, when no one is around and no one will ever know, that's when your true character shows.
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So pay close attention to how you act when you're by yourself.
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You know, your moral compass should not only apply when you're being watched.
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That implies, in my opinion, weak character.
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But that's a different topic.
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And now because I know that I don't want to litter, I know that, hmm, okay, if I go on a picnic,
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for example, I need to bring some sort of a container that I can throw the trash in.
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I set myself up for success.
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I live in alignment with what I believe to be right, and that is the act of self-love.
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Don't give yourself or people discounts.
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Could you walk into any store and tell them, hey, I'm special, so you're going to give me a 25% discount?
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No, you can't.
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The prices are set, and if you can't afford it, leave.
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It's not negotiable.
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The same applies for your rulebook.
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Because you are your own store, your own house, and the cost of entry is the rules
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that you have for yourself and for others who would like to enter and who would like to stay.
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So another example, let's say that your rulebook says, I don't want to be yelled at.
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In my book, literally, that applies across the board.
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I don't want my sister to yell at me, I wouldn't want a partner to yell at me,
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and I wouldn't want a boss to yell at me.
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And I also wouldn't want to yell at myself.
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I'm no exception.
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I don't give myself discounts either.
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Now, all of those relationships that I mentioned are,
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of course, different, and we might handle it differently depending on the person and the situation and act accordingly.
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But the fact remains that I am not okay with it.
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I am protecting little me, and little me will not put up with being yelled at.
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It is the action that matters.
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Now, it's not enough to say that you will or won't do something or that you will not tolerate XYZ.
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The defining moment is, is, what do you do when it happens?
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Do you love yourself enough to change?
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To walk away?
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To let go?
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How deep is this love that you have for yourself?
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Well, the depth is measured in the actions that you take.
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Don't expect a 100% success rate.
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Now look, we all do things that we look back on and feel stupid about, that we regret, that might feel out of character,
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things that, in hindsight, we can't really stand behind.
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You know, there are so many circumstances that can affect our actions, that make our actions not always align with this compass,
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with our rulebook, and what we believe to be true and to be right.
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So, I think the goal of making the right decisions 10 out of 10 times isn't attainable
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because we're human beings and we say dumb things, we do dumb things, and we make mistakes.
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You know, I too do things where I look back
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and I feel like that was out of character or that was unlike me or it's something that, given the chance, I might have done differently.
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But those moments are becoming less and less the more
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that I love myself because I do believe so strongly in the values
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and principles that I have set and that I let guide me through life.
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But it takes practice.
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For some people, walking away or saying no or changing the direction in your life can be very difficult.
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And the more you do it, the easier it'll become to look after yourself.
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And any other alternative will be off the table.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “the 1-step guide to finally loving yourself”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: situation, self, Action, yell, rule. This video has 79 sentences and 1055 words to shadow. The speech runs for 6:42. The speaker talks at a natural 157 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 86% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start. 14 of its 79 sentences are questions, so it is good practice for question intonation and short answers.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| yell verb | /jɛl/ | To shout; holler; make a loud sound with the voice, especially to express intense emotions such as anger or excitement. |
| moral adjective | /ˈmoɹəl/ | Of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behaviour, especially conforming to principles of rectitude. |
| deeply adverb | /ˈdi(ː)pli/ | To a deep extent or degree; very greatly. |
| define verb | /dɪˈfaɪn/ | To determine with precision; to mark out with distinctness; to ascertain or exhibit clearly. |
| compass noun | /ˈkʌmpəs/ | A magnetic or electronic device used to determine the cardinal directions (usually magnetic or true north). |
| occur verb | /əˈkɜː/ | To happen or take place. |
| discount noun | /ˈdɪskaʊnt/ | A reduction in price. |
| abandon verb | /əˈbæn.dən/ | To give up or relinquish control of, to surrender or to give oneself over, or to yield to one's emotions. |
| satisfy verb | /ˈsætɪsfaɪ/ | To be enough (for) |
| litter noun | /ˈlɪt.ɚ/ | Straw, grass, and similar loose material used as bedding for people or animals. |
| topic noun | /ˈtɑpɪk/ | A subject; a theme; a category or general area of interest. |
| everyday adjective | /ˈɛvɹiˌdeɪ/ | Appropriate for ordinary use, rather than for special occasions. |
| anxiety noun | /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/ | An unpleasant state of mental uneasiness, nervousness, apprehension and obsession or concern about some uncertain event. |
| suffer verb | /ˈsʌfɚ/ | To undergo hardship. |
| happiness noun | /ˈhæpinɪs/ | The emotion of being happy; joy; elation. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| give up verb | To surrender (someone or something); to inform on (someone). |
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. |
| move forward verb | To cause to make progress. |
| put up with verb | To endure, tolerate, suffer through, or allow, especially something annoying. |
| stay out verb | To spend time out of one's house. |
| walk away verb | To withdraw from a problematic situation. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- I know it’s a bit of a buzzword.
- Why would you care?
- Where do you even start?
- What do I not stand for?
- Do you love yourself enough to change?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result | If they continue, I will remove |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | should be treated · being watched · are set |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | have been · have set |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 39 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, I'm, won't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: trash /tɹæʃ/, exception /əkˈsɛpʃən/, tissue /ˈtɪʃ.(j)u/, motivation /ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/, confusion /kənˈfjuːʒən/
- Long words — get the stress right: anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, motivation /ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, accordingly /əˈkɔɹ.dɪŋ.li/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like yell, moral, deeply.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.