Shadowing Practice: your life is being stolen by indecision - Learn English Speaking with YouTube
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I am...
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incredibly indecisive.
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and I'm aware how much time that her stolen.
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for me in my life.
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I've come to realize that Indecision is far more expensive. than failure.
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And every moment spent and maybe is a moment of your life passing by.
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I have spent...
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hours Days, months, - Yeah.
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Sometimes, dare I say, years.
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Thinking about a decision that I haven't been able to make.
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It's been things that I know that I've wanted, that I've needed, and that I can't seem to make up my mind about.
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The Thingwooden decision is that It doesn't feel.
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like life or time is passing.
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It feels...
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quite safe and sometimes even productive.
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It feels like you are doing something important.
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it feels like you are...
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Weighing the pros and cons.
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like you are being responsible Like you're not being spontaneous and crazy and wasteful and...
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unreasonable.
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And now some decisions do require some back and forth.
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Obviously.
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We need to think.
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We need to...
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Sleep on it.
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Take a step back.
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Maybe compare different decisions, ask someone for more information, That's fully reasonable, but...
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Oftentimes we are just circling the same situation...
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the same decision over and over and over again.
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Even when we collect new information, it doesn't really help us.
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It oftentimes does the opposite.
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It makes it even more difficult to just make up your mind.
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And this can be less serious things and it can be more serious things.
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For example, choosing what to wear.
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Thank you.
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That would be something less Serious.
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most of the time.
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unless what you wear is part of some big competition or something that could change your life.
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But things like choosing what to wear, where to go, what to eat, Even those things test our abilities to make decisions.
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I want the regular fries.
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or the sweet potato fries.
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but the regular flies feel a bit more unhealthy.
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Sweet potato ones.. hmm usually a bit more salty, I shouldn't really have too much salt.
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Maybe no fries.
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But then will I be full?
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Well, I wish that I had my friend's fries.
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Will I take their fries and then they're going to be like, why didn't you just get the fries for yourself?
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Maybe I can get a salad and some of those fries.
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What kind of salad?
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If I get the salad, am I gonna regret that and feel like I should've gotten the fries I'll just go somewhere else.
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Apparently, this place is not right for me.
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Okay, maybe I'll get some pasta instead, but I make pasta at home all the time.
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Is it really worth paying for pasta?
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But it's really good pasta.
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It's the kind that I can't really make at home.
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Can I make it at home?
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Wait, let me look and see if...
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if the ingredients for that pasta, if they're available online.
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Oh wait, they are.
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Okay, what if I just go and get some groceries?
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um okay i need some lemon some cream, some parsley, Okay, I can just...
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Go...
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to the grocery store on my break at noon.
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It's gonna take me about 25 minutes back and forth.
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Okay, let's see.
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What if they don't have one of the ingredients?
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And then I have to go...
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to a different grocery store, I'm not gonna have time for that.
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But what if they have it?
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um okay what if i buy the ingredients and the pasta doesn't
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turn out as good and then I'll be pissed at myself for not just getting the pasta at the restaurant.
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and I will have spent all this money for nothing.
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Let me pause.
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Because I can go on with this made -up scenario, for the entire podcast episode.
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or even longer.
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I can turn this into a book So That is...
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A typical very indecisive brains normal thinking pattern.
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It's not foreign to me.
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Thank you.
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I recognize it all too well.
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And then you end up realizing whoop My lunch break is almost up.
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I still haven't made up my mind.
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I guess I'll just have some crackers.
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with some cottage cheese for lunch all that indecisiveness, ended up with you having not even a proper meal,
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not feeling full or satisfied,
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or excited about that meal, But time was passing.
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And you thought you were being...
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reasonable weighing all the options, the pros and cons, comparing, "Where to spend my money?
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Where to spend my time?
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How can I make the best decision?" and you end up eating crackers.
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It can also be big decisions.
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And some people are good with small, not good with big.
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And some people are the opposite.
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Big decisions like: I really want to move cities, countries even. or I...
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want out of this relationship.
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But the song caused fallacy and...
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What if I leave it and it's not good and...
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I'm not gonna go through the whole scenario, that could be running in your head,
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but Big decisions usually feel a little bit scarier.
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for most people, but not always.
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you The thing is that Indecisiveness Often feels productive.
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And to an extent, it is.
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- the researching and the planning.
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And it feels like I'm waiting for the right moment.
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I'm waiting for the right decision.
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I need to optimize my choice.
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It needs to be the best choice I could have possibly made.
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Because I don't want to regret it.
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I don't want to make up my mind and then wish I chose something different.
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But But in not making up your mind, you're choosing neither.
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You're choosing nothing.
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That is your choice.
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Thank you.
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So, Indecision masquerades as preparation.
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Most of the time, it is just avoidance.
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Avoiding possibly making the wrong choice.
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avoiding possible disappointment, avoiding possibly wasting money, wasting time, So what are the costs of indecision?
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They're quite many.
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and honestly they're quite severe, Let me start with lost opportunities.
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Opportunities don't always stay around for too long.
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Sometimes they're in an instant.
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You just need to make up your mind, or it's gone.
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Like the example of your lunch break.
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If you can't decide what to eat, where to eat, You're gonna look at the clock and be like, "My break is up and 10 minutes.
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I'm sorry.
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I guess I'll have a banana.
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Opportunity lost um, Another thing that we lose or a cost.
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is the mental energy that completely drains us by constantly weighing decisions.
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It is so mentally draining, going back and forth, back and forth, collecting information, researching, listing the pros and cons.
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telling yourself you're gonna sleep on it, but now you've slept on it for 45 days or 2 years.
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Another cost is the second guessing, even after making decisions.
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I think somewhere indecisiveness is the need for control.
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the need for a specific outcome, the need to prove to ourselves that we made the best choice possible.
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It is the absence of being okay with something just turning out okay.
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It is the absence of being okay with something not turning out the way We hoped.
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It is the...
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obsession with getting things right, getting things perfect Getting things that live up to expectations.
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Another cost is .
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how it compounds over years.
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you I don't even want to know.
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how many years of my life I have probably spent in trying to make decisions.
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If you were to include everything, the research, the back and forth, Blah, blah, blah.
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It would be a lot of time.
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I don't want to see that data.
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Don't give me the statistics, never show it to me ever.
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I already know.
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It is unreasonable.
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So and often for very small things.
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I don't want to know.
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And so, "You may not realize that." your life, is being stolen.
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by your inability, to say yes.
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or to say no. At the end of the day, mostly everything.
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is just Up to deciding if it's a yes or no. Fries.
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Yes or no?
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walking, Yes or no?
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Biking?
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Yes or no?
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Getting your own food, yes or no. Leaving that relationship, yes or no. Moving, France, yes or no?
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Spain, yes or no?
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Everything can be categorized into yes or no. So why do we get stuck?
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I've touched on this, but...
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Let's make it … more digestible because i feel like i've been a little bit all over the place
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What else is new?
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One, the most obvious is that it is the fear of being wrong.
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What if we make the wrong decision?
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Okay.
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Another thing is, The fear of missing out.
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on better options.
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Let's say you're deciding where to travel.
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You're going back and forth between two cities in Spain.
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and You choose one city over the other And you arrive, And it's raining.
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It wasn't supposed to be raining, but it's raining.
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And then you look at the forecast for the other city, that you were also contemplating, and it's sunny.
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So of course that's gonna suck.
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And you're going to resent the fact that you decided on that city and not the other.
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Another one that I touched on It is the perfectionism.
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It is wanting to optimize everything.
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You just can't live.
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with the idea that maybe that decision will not be perfect.
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Maybe you won't love it.
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Maybe it will not turn out great.
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Maybe it's going to be very mediocre.
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and just okay, maybe even bad.
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and you're gonna blame yourself.
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Thank you.
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And you're going to keep digging in the past of why you made that decision, what you could have done differently, and blame yourself.
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for making an imperfect decision.
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And then we get stuck because of analysis paralysis.
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speaks for itself.
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We go so long going back and forth.
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Do I apply for that program or that program?
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And then maybe you miss your window and you don't apply for any program. So it's not...
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that the indecisive people among us, me, As well.
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Thank you.
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are incapable It is that We are overthinking at the cost of being wrong.
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Um, but the real costs the years that you spend doing nothing.
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And it's never too late to start doing something, but let me just be clear: It is true what they say.
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The older you get, the faster time is gonna go by.
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It is Thursday every single day, how is that possible?
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It was Thursday yesterday.
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It is Thursday again.
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And then it's Thursday again.
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That's how fast life starts to feel, honestly.
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So, How can we fix this?
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I want to give you some practical advice.
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And give myself.
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I mean, I need it.
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I need it badly.
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And these are difficult spots, we're going to do our best, okay?
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One is to set time limits for decisions.
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Pretty straightforward.
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You give yourself three days.
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You give yourself till noon.
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You give yourself five minutes, depending on the decision, right? And then...
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If the time is up, and you haven't decided, honestly toss a coin or something.
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Have someone keeping you accountable.
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And then it's about your own integrity.
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Because if you promise yourself A self -promise is not something - Okay.
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I'm serious.
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It's very serious.
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You promise yourself, "If I have not made my mind, in this time span.
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I will be tossing a coin and I will let that coin toss Decide for me.
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No what but if.
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That is a promise.
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You give yourself a handshake, you give yourself the pinky, and there is no discussion. And now this one.
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Next.
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Prioritize.
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Good enough.
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Over perfect.
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Ooh.
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I hate that one.
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That one is difficult if you're a bit of a perfectionist, like many of us are.
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Maybe just be like...
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This might just turn out good enough.
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And that is not going to be a disaster.
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It so rarely is.
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you Next, practice saying yes or no quickly to small things.
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No analyzing, no overthinking, just the small things, yes or no. Okay.
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Would you like a drink with your order?
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Yes.
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Sparkling or still?
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Sparkling.
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Okay, do you want to sit indoors or outdoors?
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Outdoors.
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Alright?
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How much do you want to tip?
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$2.
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So I'm just making stuff up.
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Just pick.
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a low stakes scenario, In your life, and practice being quick.
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Next.
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Accept that mistakes are part of the journey.
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You are going to choose wrong.
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You are going to maybe wish that you chose something else.
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You are going to do something that you might later regret.
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It's unavoidable.
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Here's the thing: No amount of planning, thinking, weighing this and that,
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listing, researching, can ever Ever.
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guarantee your desired outcome.
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It's impossible.
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Okay.
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There is too much in life that is out of your control.
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So much that could get in the way, I A million reasons for why you could change your mind!
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Thank you or for why your circumstances can change.
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So you cannot regardless of how prepared.
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you think that you are.
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Regardless of how much time you have spent being indecisive, guarantee your desired outcome.
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And Once you realize how much of life is out of your control, not fully, We have a lot of control for some things.
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I think that is the first step in setting yourself free.
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Next you This one is painful.
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Are you ready?
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Track the time costs of indecision.
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To make it feel real.
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If you're very brave and kind of crazy, Do this.
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And once it's black and white,
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and you realize the amount of time that you spent That might be a wake -up call for you.
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I don't know if I'm going to do that one.
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I wrote that because my the highest version of myself.
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would be brave enough to do that.
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to look it in the eye.
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The numbers.
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and accept them as reality.
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i have to do that actually so decide faster and fail faster. and live.
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Faster.
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Yeah.
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Live faster.
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Don't get yourself stuck.
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So, What is one thing?
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that you have been sitting on.
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For weeks, months, dare I say years, And...
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Make.
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A decision this week.
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even if it's Not perfect. And...
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empower yourself by Remembering that.
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Maybe you cannot reclaim.
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the years that you have spent waiting.
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or you can decide Today, to start living.
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Alright, thank you so much for being here.
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I'll talk to you again.
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next week.
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Bye.
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About This Lesson
You're practicing English with "your life is being stolen by indecision" using the Shadowing technique — a method originally developed for professional interpreter training.
Focus on sounding like the speaker — not just repeating words. With 15–30 minutes of daily practice, you'll build real-world speaking confidence.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.