Shadowing Practice: How to Build Charisma and Aura - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Is there anything else that, you know, people accidentally do that holds them back from being someone of high aura?

Yes.

They try to be impressive.

People that have aura and riz.

Oh, yeah.

How does one cultivate aura and riz?

Okay.

I think aura and riz, and the only reason this is front of mind is, is my daughter asked me,

she heard one of my YouTube videos, and she said, what is charisma?

She asked me that.

And I was like, ooh, like she's eight.

They said, charisma or riz or aura is someone that you really want to be around.

It's when they walk into a room, you want to go over and talk to them.

You want to sit near them.

You want to listen to them.

You want to work with them.

You want to play with them.

And I said, do you know anyone like that?

And she goes, oh, yes.

And she named, so interesting, she named two kids in her class that I had already identified as very charismatic.

Like, in my mind, I knew who the charismatic kids were in her class.

I had popped them, right?

I saw them.

They were the kids that you really wanted to be around.

They have this aura about them.

And she named those exact two kids.

So I think that that definition works.

It's someone that we are drawn to verbally, physically.

I think also some of it can be physical.

And there's something hormonal there as well.

But it's someone we're drawn to.

Okay, so based on the 20 years of research you've done.

Yes.

If you were trying to teach me to have aura and riz, what are like the basics?

Be really easy to talk to.

Okay.

Right.

So the point of level one is to put someone at ease.

We like to be around people who are, one, clearly signaling.

We don't like people who are mute with their body language.

We don't like people who under signal.

We like people who clearly like us.

Right.

So we have to be very allowed with our liking.

So saying things like, it's always so fun talking to you.

Or, oh, you always have the best stories.

Oh, you always make me laugh.

I love when you're put on my team.

So clearly signaling like and verbally.

I think there's something called signal amplification bias, which is this bias that we have that we think we're being really obvious with our cues,

but we are not, in fact, being obvious.

We think that people know that we like them.

Of course they know that we like them.

But actually people underestimate liking, right?

The liking gap.

So we like people who are very clearly broadcasting likes.

And I have a funny story, if I may.

So this hit very close, embarrassingly, to home.

Because of my job, I don't know if this happens to you, my friends often ask me to suss out their partners, like potential partners.

So like a friend will be like, hey, I met a new guy.

Can you go out dinner with us and tell me what you think?

Does that hit you all?

Absolutely not.

Oh my.

You're like, nobody asks me.

No. So I get this a lot.

And by the way, I'm just a regular person.

So I'm always like, are you sure you really want to know what I'm...

Yes, so I go on a lot of like second

or third little ghosty coffee dates to suss out the guy or gal.

I bet you love that.

It makes me feel needed.

Okay.

I also love eavesdropping on like the date conversation.

So she said, I really want you to meet this guy.

Let's call him Schmobbert.

Okay?

Okay.

And so we go on this dinner and we have like a Mediterranean platter and he was okay.

You know, I was like, okay, he's nice.

But I wasn't like, green flag, green flag, you know?

It's kind of like, meh.

So the next day I get the call.

She's like, hey, what did you think?

And I'm about to say, it's only okay when she goes, you know what?

He just loved you.

I was like, oh, what?

She said, oh, you know, he thought you were so funny, and he already bought your Audible book, and he just loved talking to you.

Like, the most, I started to like him more.

Like, it was so embarrassing, because as she was telling me all these things about how he liked me, I was like, you know,

that Schmaubert, he is a great guy.

He's clever.

He's so smart.

He liked my, he liked my jokes, really?

She's like, yeah, he just really had a good time with you.

And I felt like I liked him more in that moment.

And I was horrified by my own response.

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And I realized we so want to be liked that when someone clearly signals liking, it makes us like them more, right?

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So we can be charismatic.

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One is we send clear signals of liking.

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But also two, and we talked about this a little bit last time,

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is fundamentally 82 % of our impressions of people are based on warmth and competence.

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So people who are first and is first signaling, I'm open, I'm friendly, and then competent,

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I'm capable, I'm efficient, I'm effective, make us feel like I'm in good hands.

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In this way, every human being we first meet, we're trying to answer two questions.

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Can I trust you?

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And can I rely on you?

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So the second thing that charismatic people are doing is they're signaling, you can trust me, and you can rely on me.

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I'm going to get it done.

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I'm going to only speak when I know something.

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I'm going to be assertive.

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I'm going to.. carry us through this conversation.

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I think that sort of this came after cues in a good way because cues is very much about picking your signals,

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but conversation is about being a bit assertive about the plan, right?

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Like if you read this book, you are going to feel in control in conversation.

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You're gonna feel like you're approaching a conversation and you know what you wanna do if you have intention.

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We like that.

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Charismatic people like, they carry us, right?

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Like they're like, we got this, we're gonna do level, I'm gonna ask about this, I'm gonna do dream killing, And if I like you,

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if I like you, we're gonna talk about your character."

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And so I think that that plan is a secret door into charisma.

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Is there anything else that, you know, people accidentally do that holds them back from being someone of high aura?

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Yes.

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They try to be impressive.

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Now, I know we talked about this before, but here's what happens when you go into the conversation trying to sound smart,

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trying to impress people with your accolades and your background is you actually end up creating distance.

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I was in Austin and I was invited to this VIP party and I was like, oh man, like what, why am I being invited?

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Like so imposter syndrome.

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So we get there and I'm like, oh, I know that person's YouTube channel.

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Like I know that person, like the people I immediately recognized.

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And I'm like, whoa.

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And then of course, like within the first five minutes, the leader of this group says,

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we're going to get in a circle and we are going to introduce ourselves.

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And this is like, So we get in a circle, and the first person basically is like,

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I'm a billionaire, and I invented the internet, or something like that.

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And the second person is like… I would love to know what they actually said.

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That's what you heard.

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That's what you heard.

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That's what I heard.

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I was like, great.

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I invented the internet.

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Like, it was so impressive, it hurt, you know?

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And I was like, okay, okay.

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It was the first person, is that right?

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The second person is like, I cured cancer.

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Right?

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Like, amazing.

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And it was just like person after person.

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It was like getting more and more impressive.

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And like it's slowly coming to me.

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And I was like, everyone was trying to be impressive, right?

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Like they were saying things that were meant to shock and wow and awe you.

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It gets to me and I was like, my name is Vanessa and I'm a recovering awkward person.

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And I help smart awkward people with my books and my YouTube channel.

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And everyone laughed and took a deep breath.

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Now, I have other accolades that I could have shared, but I was like, it's nothing in comparison.

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And also, I just wanted to be a little vulnerable.

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So I said, and I don't know why I was invited to this party.

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And everyone laughed, right?

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There's like a little bit of vulnerability.

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Every single person after me said, I'm a recovering awkward person.

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So like they also were able to feel awkward.

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So it changed the nature of the rest of the invites, the rest of the introductions.

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And then afterwards, the circle like breaks up for networking and most people came over to me, not the billionaire, not the cure of cancer,

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not the saving the earth climate change guru, but wanted to talk to me about awkwardness and about my YouTube channel and about they're smart,

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but they feel uncomfortable.

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And I realized like I was just the easiest person to talk to in that circle.

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So I think that I just share that because we don't have to put so much pressure on ourselves to be impressive.

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In fact, the really impressive people, I don't know, I haven't met that many billionaires

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But the ones I've met, like, most of them are quite humble.

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And they're quite...

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Like, they downplay how successful they are because they've already made it.

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And so I think if we all just put less pressure on ourselves to just connect, that would be easier.

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It does really track.

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I was thinking about the people in my life that have aura, and they're not the people that are the most successful, the most accomplished.

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They are...

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They are the ones that you would most like to spend time with.

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Yeah, they're easy.

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For whatever reason, yeah.

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Yeah, they're easy.

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And by the way, it's back and forth.

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Like, you can be introverted and extra.. or extroverted.

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You don't, like people, I think, think that master conversationals are extroverted.

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Actually, that's not usually the case.

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Sometimes extroverts fall into their own traps with conversational narcissism.

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Ambiverts and introverts do really well.

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140 sentences

Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This speaking lesson is built on the video “How to Build Charisma and Aura”. This video has 188 sentences and 1809 words to shadow. The speech runs for 9:03. The speaker talks fast, about 200 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 85% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.

Key vocabulary in this video

15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
aura noun	/ˈɔːɹə/	A subtle emanation or exhalation of any substance, such as an aroma or odour.
impressive adjective	/ɪmˈpɹɛsɪv/	Making, or tending to make, a positive impression; having power to impress.
invite verb	/ɪnˈvaɪt/	To ask for the presence or participation of someone or something.
awkward adjective	/ˈɔk.wɚd/	Lacking dexterity in the use of the hands, or of instruments.
billionaire noun	/ˌbɪl.jəˈnɛɚ/	Somebody whose wealth is at least one billion (10⁹) currency units (usually understood to exclude holders of hyperinflated currencies).
cue noun	/kju/	An action or event that is a signal for somebody to do something.
cure verb	/kjɔː/	To restore to health.
recover verb	/ɹɪˈkʌvɚ/	To get back, to regain (a physical thing; in astronomy and navigation, sight of a thing or a signal).
rely verb	/ɹɪˈlaɪ/	To trust; to have confidence in; to depend.
accidentally adverb	/ˌæk.sɪˈdɛnt(ə)li/	In an accidental manner; by chance, unexpectedly.
bias noun	/ˈbaɪ.əs/	Inclination towards something.
invent verb	/ɪnˈvɛnt/	To design a new process or mechanism.
shock noun	/ʃɔk/	A sudden, heavy impact.
afterwards adverb	/ˈæf.tɚ.wɚdz/	At a later or succeeding time; after that;
efficient adjective	/ɪˈfɪʃənt/	Making good, thorough, or careful use of resources; not consuming extra. Especially, making good use of time or energy.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Meaning
end up verb	To bring to a conclusion.
go out verb	To leave, especially a building.
go over verb	To look at carefully; to scrutinize; to analyze.

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

It's someone that we are drawn to verbally, physically.
Does that hit you all?
She's like, hey, what did you think?
I was like, oh, what?
He liked my, he liked my jokes, really?

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	are drawn · was horrified · be liked
Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing	people who are · people who under · people who clearly
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	you've done · haven't met · I've met

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 56 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, don't, they're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “th” sounds: breathe /bɹiːð/, warmth /wɔɹmθ/
The “sh” and “zh” sounds: shock /ʃɔk/, efficient /ɪˈfɪʃənt/, impression /ɪmˈpɹɛʃn̩/, intention /ɪnˈtɛnʃn̩/, accomplish /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ/
Long words — get the stress right: accidentally /ˌæk.sɪˈdɛnt(ə)li/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, vulnerability /ˌvʌln(ə)ɹəˈbɪlɪti/, underestimate /ʌndɚˈɛs.tɪ.meɪt/, charismatic /ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like aura, impressive, invite.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: How to Build Charisma and Aura - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

Key vocabulary in this video

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Sentences worth repeating

Grammar in this video

Pronunciation to watch

How to practise with this video

What is the Shadowing Technique?