Shadowing Practice: La La Anthony: Life After Professional Athletes - Learn English Speaking with Video

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what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy

lala welcome to more daddy first of all can we address the glasses okay okay let's talk about

so i came in here with glasses on

and i was oh you're wearing my stylist hoodie local love club yeah

that's my stylist i was like yeah i love her i love her

so much i honestly like woke up this morning

i was like it's raining it's a monday i need to feel cozy

and then you just walked in and you were like let's level

that shit up can i keep my sunnies on

and i i love no no i didn't no no no i said

when i walked in i was like

if i wear my sunglasses are people gonna be like where the fuck does this bitch think she's going

and then you were like well i'll wear some too

and I was like fine so we're just gonna both wear sunglasses the whole interview

and now we're just we're vibing on a different frequency

now everything feels a little bit better the lights are better no

but it was crazy when we walked in you said it was

so bright it was crazy okay so we're on a different frequency so now we're here

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so now i need to introduce you because there's

so many things to say about you i'll try to keep it short

but you can't you got your start in radio obviously look how much of a natural

you're like let me just let me do the show today alex you can leave i'll just talk.

You're an actress, producer, a New York Times bestselling author,

a social justice advocate, best friend to some of the most famous women in the world, and a mother.

I kind of want to go back to the beginning a little bit

because I think it's helpful for people to feel extremely connected to your story, right?

You start working at 15 years old, your first internship.

How the fuck did you get the internship?

How did you get your foot in the door?

Please tell us the story.

Okay, so I always loved music.

That's my thing.

I love, love music.

Back in the day, day, day, we're not going to talk about it too much.

I thought I was going to be a rapper, but that was like back in the day.

Give us like a little something.

Oh my God, no, you'll die.

You'll be like, get me out of here now.

So I thought I was going to be a rapper, and so I just love music.

And I remember going to the opening of this music store, and I saw these people like putting up posters.

Remember back in the day it was different when albums came out, like there would be posters everywhere and stuff everywhere

so i was like who are these people doing that

and i came up to them i was like who do you guys work for like what are you doing

because i thought it looked like

so cool especially as a teenager like 15 years old

so you're like oh we work at this radio station

and we're interns

but they were like to be in an internship program

you had to be i don't remember i think it was 17 years old

so i was like oh yeah i'm 17

and i just got a fake id

because why not i lived in the hood and I didn't know how to get a fake ID.

So I got a fake ID and then I got the job as an intern, lying, saying I was older than I really was.

But that's the only time, kids, where a lie can work in your favor.

And then I just started working at the radio station and from there interning,

I got on the radio and then I moved to LA to be on the radio.

And then from there, I got my MTV job and I started hosting TRL, which everyone knows started doing that.

I also love how so casually, I think there's so many young women that listen to this show

that are like may currently be an intern and you just like slid

that in like

so I went from being an intern then all of a sudden

I'm a radio person

I'm like hold on hold on you just skipped a huge

step how the fuck did you go from intern putting posters on the wall

so then being a radio personality

so just working really hard like I just worked really really hard at it and I was like

Whatever I do, I don't care if I'm just putting this water here.

I'm going to be the best at putting the water here.

I'm just going to be great.

I just made myself available.

I worked really hard.

And I had a personality.

So they were like, we like your personality.

There's two guys on the radio.

At that time, it was Ludacris.

But his name back then was Chris Lava Lava.

So they were like, two guys, him and Poon Daddy, they were like, they need a girl on their show.

Nobody wants to hear just two guys going back and forth all day.

I was like, I can do it.

So at first, and we laughed about it all the time they didn't really want me there

because they were like this is our shit like who the fuck are you

but i was like i'm coming to bring some energy in here

and some some girly vibes no i wasn't intimidated i was like i'm here to do this

and then that's how i got on the radio

so shout out to luda who i've known for since yeah since i was like at

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that time what 16 maybe okay we all need to have

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that energy because i'm like oh my god it'd be so intimidating you're like what the fuck I deserve to be there.

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I had the personality for it.

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Even if I was intimidated, nobody else was going to know that.

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You're going to fake it.

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Yeah, you got to fake it so you make it.

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Even if I felt like that, which I'm sure at different times I did, I was like, this is my way out.

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It was bigger than a job for me.

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It was about survival.

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It was about having money in my pocket to live.

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It was deeper than like, oh, I just want this cool job.

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It was like, I need this job so I can afford my apartment, so I can get food for myself,

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so I can take care of myself

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and ultimately take care of my family like it was bigger to me totally like

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when the purpose is bigger your your drive is different yeah

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you like you just see straight like you can't

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you don't even look back you're like I gotta go forward exactly

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so you're still a teenager you go to you leave Atlanta

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you go to LA

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I love how you're like 17 at the time had you ever been to LA no

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I never been to LA before I didn't have money to like travel

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and do stuff like that I would hear about LA

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but I had never been there the thing about it is like when I when I lived in New York.

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I was born and raised in Brooklyn.

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But during this radio time, I was in Atlanta.

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My mom had moved us to Atlanta.

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But like you would hear about L .A., but it just felt like this distant land somewhere that like,

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yeah, I know like famous people live there.

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But it's not a place that you ever thought like you would go to or anything like that.

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So when I got the job in L .A.,

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because I had sent my radio tape to different places when I got the job in L .A.,

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when I got off the plane, that was my first.

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I was moving to L .A., getting off the plane.

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That was my first time being in L .A did you

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know anyone no were you who the hell would I know in LA

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I didn't I didn't talk to people I was like my circle was New York

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and Atlanta damn so what

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when do you remember personally being like this is my big break like I just made it I felt like

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that with LA

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because Atlanta as big of a market it is radio wise

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it was a smaller market than LA New York is one LA is two

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when it comes to radio

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so I was like I'm about to be in the number two market like this is crazy

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and when they called me to give me the job they were like well how much money are you making

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and I remember at

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that time I was making like no lie I was making like 18 ,000 a year

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and I was like um um I make like 30 ,000 a year like I just said something

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and they were like oh well this job is offering like 90 ,000 a year

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and I was like I really was making 18 ,000

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I went from making 18 ,000 to 90 ,000

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I was like you're like you know what shit I think I'll take it I was like i'm out

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but i had to play it cool i didn't want that

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because remember i was already like damn

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it's a lot of lying in my story like lala

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this is literally the whole episode is like lala lies through

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and through i keep lying a lot about my age i lied about how much i was making

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all good lies all good all good to get you through the door yes exactly a little white lie with

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that can't hurt anybody yeah so then i got on the radio in la

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and then i was on the radio doing really good out there

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and then one day now this day i remember claire i walked into the radio station

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and the receptionist says to me somebody from mtv called for

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you i was like call for me for what they're like i don't know they want to talk to you

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and it was like the little post -it with like the number

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so i called i was like hey um

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this is la la like somebody said you guys are looking for me

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they're like yeah we want to um meet with you we just heard a lot about you from the radio

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we've heard you on the radio we thought you're really cool we wanted to see like what you look like

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and like you know just catch a vibe

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and they were like you seem like a really cool person I was like thanks like what's happening here

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so then they were like could you interview somebody for us

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so we could see like how you would interview on camera

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but the catch was I had to find the person to interview

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I'm like they're like you'll have to bring the person to interview

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because they also wanted to see maybe like I don't know maybe my connection I don't know

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but I was like all right cool so I actually remember I called Tyrese

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because at that time Tyrese was also doing stuff on MTV too

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so I was like if I call somebody that's like one of their own maybe that'll help

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so I brought him up there I interviewed him they seemed to love it

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and then they called me and was like would you be open to moving to New York to be on MTV.

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Dude, it's so crazy because I was talking to Kate earlier.

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Okay.

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I want to see your face.

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We're like, okay, now we're like less nervous.

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I know, I know.

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Okay.

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Lala has lied to my face 10 times already.

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We're like, let's just do it.

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Okay.

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We're done.

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We're done.

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The shtick is over.

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We're moving forward so we can see each other.

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Exactly.

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Hello, bright lights.

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Okay.

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Kate and I were talking about TRL.

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Yes.

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And to the Gen Zers listening, just shut the fuck up for a minute

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because you need to be humbled and listen to what trl was

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because i remember i have an older sister

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and i would she'd be like running home from school like come on alex we gotta go we gotta watch

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and it was like the biggest thing to watch

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when you're looking at breakout artists or like christina aguilera coming on

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and you're just like holy fucking shit this was the thing it was huge for all artists

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and then like it was in new york it was in times square

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so everyone in high school at

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that time wanted to rush to time square to stand out

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there to see like who's going to be in the infamous like window where you would wave from

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and you had everybody like you said beyonce

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and then actors will smith would come tom cruise i mean at

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that time in sync and it was like justin timberlake

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and no it was crazy that's

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so cool i i think like hearing about your career is

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always incredible to hear especially from a woman just like battling to get to the top and like

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Like, what's a setback that you remember facing early in your career?

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Obviously, it wasn't all roses and, like, get on the flight, move to LA, get the job, happiness.

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And, like, how did you overcome it?

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Well, I think a lot of my struggles came coming out of MTV

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because MTV was so big that you were always told, like, that's it.

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That's your peak.

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This is it.

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Like, it doesn't get any bigger than this.

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And you would kind of see MTV VJs come and go, and then it would be like,

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whatever happened to so -and -so? or they would have these specials like going back down memory lane and you'd be like, what happened to?

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And I was like, oh, no, like after this job, it's not going to just be over for me.

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Like that's just not going to be the only thing that I'm known for.

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So that's when I started pivoting into acting and stuff.

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And when you're coming off of being a host,

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it's hard for people to see you as an actor because I was so well known as an MTV host.

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First of all, there's not a lot of MTV hosts secondly there's definitely not a lot of black mtv hosts

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so it was like i was known as you know a black girl on mtv

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so it was like the acting side didn't really want to give me

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that shot i think that's a very relatable concept of like people wanting to put things in boxes

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and you're trying to pivot because you want to pivot

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and you want to do something different

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and it's like no no you have to stay in

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that lane i was gonna ask though like as a woman of color in the industry especially

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when you were just starting out

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and you didn't have this status did you face discrimination well it was different

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but it was it was interesting for me because I was at MTV

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but all of my friends and people in the business were at BET

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and I was like it was like 106 and Park

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and then there was like TRL

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and I used to feel like I kind of want to be over there like that's more my music

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that's my culture that's who I am but then I was like maybe I have a responsibility here to bring

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my culture more my music diversity to MTV

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and put them on to like these are the songs we're listening to these are the artists

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that we love let's give them you know a little bit more shine

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so then I became like empowered to want to do

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that that's really cool because I feel like a big theme

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so far already what you're saying is like every time

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you've walked indoors like you're like no i i'm gonna even

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if i don't feel it immediately i'm gonna pretend i deserve to be here exactly

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and it's like a mentality thing even

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if you don't feel it all the time

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which i think is important no matter what you're doing no matter what you're doing

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it's like just pretend you fucking deserve it and it's even

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if like on bad days we're all entitled to them we all have them

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but it's like certain jobs and i hate to say it

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but certain jobs they don't care about a bad day

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so it's like fake it fake it fake

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it then go home talk to your friends your family your therapist whatever you need to do

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but in that moment like act like you're okay sometimes even

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when you're not and then deal with it in the moments

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that you give yourself to deal with it this is a stressful industry to be in

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and you've got to be on

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and you've got to be ready have you ever experienced burnout always I'm always burnt out I'm always tired

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and I'm not good at the balance

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which that's not a great thing I mean you have to be able to have balance I always feel guilty

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when i'm like not working or having fun

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or even on vacation like i just feel like i got

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more work to do what am i doing why am i hanging out then i'm on instagram

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and it seems like everybody's on vacation all the time

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i'm like how the hell do you guys go on this many trips like i don't go anywhere

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i'm like i need to go on more trips i feel like

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Either one, I feel like I'm always behind when I'm looking at Instagram.

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I'm like, wait, like, why do these people know about this thing?

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Or I'm like, why is everyone relaxing on the beach?

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Because when I go, I feel like so stressed.

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But are they actually relaxing on the beach?

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Because then when you're relaxing on the beach, you're not actually relaxed on the beach.

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You're like, what the fuck is true?

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What's not?

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It's all a facade.

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It's all an illusion.

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It is a complete illusion.

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Before I even obviously met you, I was trying to just get on a phone call with you, just quickly say hi.

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And I was like, it's like eight o 'clock at night

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and they were like hey everybody uh lala is not available

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because she's at rikers and i was like holy fuck no i was like

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that seems way more important than me just being like hey

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girl like see you tomorrow like it's just like yeah

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i was like go fuck myself i'll see you in the studio

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i really appreciate what you're doing can you explain how you got into it like what are you doing well

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it's only because you can't for those of you who have never been inside a prison

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or a jail before you could not have your cell phone

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i need to clarify i was not mad at you i was But I'm like, otherwise, I would have been like, what's up?

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You can't have your cell phone.

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Which, by the way, you don't realize how hard it is to go 8, 9, 10 hours without your phone.

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Like, it's good for me because we're so attached.

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And I'm like, I realize that this attachment is not healthy.

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But so, yeah, Rikers, I work a lot in the R &DC building, which is generally 18 to 21, so the younger population.

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And there was a pastor that was running an initiative called Fatherless No More his name is Pastor Tim Johnson, who I love.

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And I sat in on a lot of his sessions with his group of young men.

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And from there, I just continue to work with him and starting to mentor and do my own thing as well.

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I'm just so passionate about it.

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I have a 15 -year -old.

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So when I see these young men who are incarcerated, I see my son's face.

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I see how one bad decision can change your whole life.

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And sometimes it's just peer pressure, following friends, being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

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A lot of these kids are amazing, beautiful, I call them kids, but young men that shouldn't be in there,

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but just environment, upbringing, everything that I feel like I can relate to.

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So I'm all about second chances and also giving them the tools they need.

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So when they do reenter into the community, they can be assets instead of, you know, a hindrance to the community

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so we work really hard it's me Brittany my assistant Brian we work really really hard with them

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and I don't know I found like I've been passionate about a lot of things

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I give back in a lot of ways

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but this I really feel like is you know

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you feel like this is my calling this is my passion there's something about it

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that it keeps moving me to come back more and more

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It's really incredible what you're doing.

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It seems like you're such a good mother.

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You're a great person and you're a great friend

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and I talk about a lot of my podcasts of I have a lot of young women

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that write in which I'm like I totally feel you on this like friendship it it ebbs

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and flows it's the some of the most beautiful relationships you can have because you aren't sleeping with this person hopefully

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hopefully you never know but like it's a genuine two -way street

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and at times it's not always going to be 50 -50 maybe

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you're giving more to your friends they're giving more to you at a time whatever it is.

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But I always like to talk about friendship because I think it's an underrated

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conversation that fulfills a lot of what you need in your life.

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And it doesn't always have to be romantic and it doesn't have to be family.

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Right.

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What qualities do you think about your personality make you a good friend?

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I think if you're going to ask my friends, they would say like, I'm very caring, loving.

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I'm a cancer.

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Like we're super loving.

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We're super emotional.

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we're when we love we love hard

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but I'm also honest like my thing even going back to the young man at Rikers like I always say

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you know no judgment like I'm not here to judge you I'm going to give you real advice

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but I'm not here to judge you and

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if I say something you might not agree with

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or don't like it's not because I'm judging you I'm just giving you the real

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so I think it's the same with my friends like

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when they ask me advice they know

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I'm gonna give them real advice coming from love not like judgment

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I don't care what you say you did what I've heard it all I've seen it all.

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Nothing surprises me anymore, but I'm just like, yo, you gotta, nah, you can't do that.

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You know, whatever.

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And just honest and they know it's going to be out of love.

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And I think that's it.

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Also, you know, keep everyone's information, life secrets safe.

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Like you've never heard of me being involved in anything with like any messiness or whatever.

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When people trust you with things, you have to honor that and take that seriously.

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And I definitely do i really respect that

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because i think some people can't take the honesty

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and i feel like a lot of times

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i'm similar in friendships where i'm like i know this is gonna upset you

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but do you want me to lie to you right exactly sweetie

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it's gonna you're totally in the right you're fine like that's not me being a good friend

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and i feel like it's good sometimes to have people around like you being like you can cry

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and i'll hold you while you cry

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but it's gonna be from the information i'm about to tell you

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but it's just me being honest

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and i don't see why i don't know i think it's like look inward

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if you don't want people to tell you the truth

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because it's like work on yourself it's not your friend it's actually you not being able to take the heat

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and I'm also not like I'm competitive like

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but not meaning I don't want what you have I know what's for me is for me

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that's also the issue with a lot of friendships

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and stuff it's like competition

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or jealousy like I think

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there's enough for everyone like what I'm doing is not going to be the same as what you're doing or

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if we do the same thing how you do it how

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I do it is going to be different like I don't get involved in

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that i want all of my friends

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and anyone i care about to win i want to see everybody do good

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i'm like cheerleading from the sidelines for everybody

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and i know you know what's for me will come

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and what's great about my friendships is everyone kind of empowers each other i have friends

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that are like oh you're working on this i actually know someone

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that did that let me call them and tell them you're doing it

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or let me call them and tell them to look out for you whatever

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and that's how it is it's not like oh i'm not gonna give her the number

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or the secret like i don't want her to know like

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that's not how my friendships are everyone's gonna have their successful moments

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and everyone's gonna have the lulls where they're down on themselves

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and it's like why hold any of your friends back

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if anything it's great to surround yourself with people that are thriving

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and succeeding rather than feeling like jealous right I love

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that how do you know when it's time to end a friendship I think

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that you'll know when it's you know I think it's time to end a friendship

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when it's no longer making you feel good I think

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it's the same thing with a relationship a friendship is a relationship like

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when it's no longer making you feel good and it's causing you stress and agony

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and sadness then it's time to let it go like the world right

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now is stressful enough day -to -day life in this world is stressful enough

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so your friendships your relationships anyone in your life should be adding positivity not saying again

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that they're not going to tell you what you want to hear like it shouldn't just be like you're great

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you're great you're great you're great and not being honest with you

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but when you feel like you know when the phone rings and you're looking and you're just like, oh, what now?

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Or this is going to drain me or what's going to happen here?

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That's when you got to start reevaluating.

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I agree.

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And I think there's moments where.

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every friendship if it's a good friendship you will have hardships like that's weird

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if you've never had a tip like oh you're best friends well then is it a real relationship

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because like we're humans we're gonna go through shit but i appreciate

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when there's times to work through shit

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and then there's time to be like this is not healthy

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and to find that especially when you start seeing a pattern

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if there's a pattern then you're like okay

447

this is this is who this person is i might need to exit stage left

448

when your friends come to you for advice I'm thinking like I feel like everyone has

449

that person in a friend group like what are people like

450

I'm going to Lala for this like what is your go -to

451

they're looking for guidance they go to you for probably relationships

452

and I don't know why I'm not even in a relationship my marriage is my marriage did not succeed

453

I don't know how I'm the relationship expert

454

I always tell I told a friend of mine the other day I go

455

I don't know why everybody wants to ask me about relationships

456

I need to be asking them about i'm not even in a relationship maybe

457

they're like i don't know our shit fucked up

458

so bad we want to make sure that doesn't happen to us they're like

459

so give us the guideline of what not to do la la no

460

but i think don't be with athlete no

461

it's a joke just kidding guys just kidding guys no love

462

you all no i love you all too no i've talked

463

so much like healthy i think shit on the athletes

464

i've dated no no no we don't want to talk bad about athletes no

465

and i think it's actually more which i would like to clarify in the past

466

if i think it's too easy almost as a joke

467

because it is like they're giving it to us at times do you know what i mean yeah

468

and i think

469

that it's one there's times where it could be maybe um a stigma

470

that's not fair like i'm sure accountants are cheating

471

you know what i mean like i know our dentists are getting after

472

it hear about it as much yes yes exactly

473

so i did want to ask you there is a new york times article about you from 2011

474

and you were described as the first lady of the nba

475

i'm in the presence of a goddess okay the king herself

476

you were the original nba couple well we see how

477

that turned out they probably won't they probably won't even let me in games anymore so

478

so there goes your first lady

479

you were the original are we back are we back for the athlete section

480

we're like hold on let us just tighten up

481

you were the original nba power couple yeah was it hard

482

to have eyes on you during the beginning of your

483

ex -husband's career like all these people interested in your life etc yeah

484

that was hard for us that was hard for us i feel like

485

when we moved to new york

486

because we came from denver at the time we moved to new york i was from new york

487

so being back in new york is nothing new but

488

when we lived here under all of that that's

489

when things became complicated i think that was kind of the start now

490

that i look back

491

that was kind of the start of the demise of the marriage i dated a new york athlete

492

and i do remember i need to google you later don't do

493

that um but i do think that there's something people always say like

494

if you can make it in new york as an athlete you can make it anywhere

495

but I think there's also a different connotation of like yeah

496

because it's the hardest to deal with the heart

497

and it comes with a lot and the media and the press

498

and just everything it is it is really really hard that's not the only reason things didn't work out

499

but things got tough with New York

500

and like you were saying just constantly being under the spotlight people watching every little thing

501

and then you know being in New York I don't know like Denver was so like laid back

502

New York it's like I got to get on my grind

503

then I started really like going to overdrive with my career

504

and wanting things to go that way

505

so it's like he's doing his thing i'm doing mine

506

and just how old were you guys when you met so

507

so it's so funny there was a dj named dj clue

508

that um yeah shout out clue who was like i got

509

this guy who really wants to meet you he's seen you on mtv before

510

and he's 19 years old i was like okay 19 at

511

that time was 22 yeah i was just like that's kind of young i mean

512

when you're when you're you know okay what happens is here's how it goes

513

because this is what i'm finding i don't understand this this is how it goes okay

514

when you're younger you want to date older guys

515

and i'm not saying when you get older you want to date younger guys but

516

when you get older only younger guys want to date you it's the wildest thing literally guys will dm me

517

or want to take me out

518

and i'll google them i'll be like you're 22 years old like what how like how does this work

519

but like so confident so like i want to take you out i i think you're amazing

520

and i'm just like when's what's the cutoff like i don't know the cutoff

521

i'm just saying what is the no it's a real thing

522

but okay but we got to go back we'll get to

523

that next yeah because we do but i don't get what this thing is like Thank you.

524

No, it's a real thing.

525

The older you get, the younger the guys get, and it's wild. But, okay.

526

So, he was 19, and I was like, cool.

527

And I was like, I don't want to be with an athlete.

528

Back then, even back then, I was like, I'll never be with an athlete.

529

I never, never, never, never, never.

530

Should have listened to myself back then.

531

What was your type of time?

532

Street guys.

533

Just guys that I probably shouldn't be with either, but that was more my flow.

534

I love a street guy.

535

Back then, not anymore, guys.

536

So, I was like, I just don't want to, but we became friends.

537

And that's the thing we were friends for a while

538

and then the friendship turned into more

539

and we had some great times i mean

540

we have a beautiful son kyan who's amazing like it wasn't all bad like we had great great times

541

it ended bad but we're still you know friends

542

and we co -parent great so it wasn't all bad

543

and i think that you know life is just about lessons

544

and going through different phases and

545

that was like a phase in my life a chapter in my life

546

and now um that chapter's over but it's never really over

547

when you have a kid with somebody what was your biggest misconception about dating an athlete

548

because i was i always like to write my questions

549

and then think well what would the fuck my answer be okay um no misconceptions

550

because everything i thought turned like you want to be like oh they're not all like this

551

or all like that like they are

552

and i'm like well yeah check check check because my thought

553

when i was writing

554

that i was like okay my misconception was in the like not committed dating phase i found

555

that i was stressed always like

556

if I don't fly in like who's he gonna be with whatever

557

and then once I was his girlfriend

558

and it was committed I thought I was like I'm gonna sleep better at night

559

I'm gonna be like oh no no I never slept

560

I think there I never slept you're like don't get

561

it twisted I may look amazing I did not sleep I never you know

562

and I didn't I almost got more stressed yeah once we committed

563

because I felt like oh my god now everyone's coming for me like yeah yeah people

564

or it was just more it was i guess it was my misconception i thought oh lock it down

565

and i'm gonna be i'm sleeping beauty it never ends it never ends

566

and then what you'll find is like i it's

567

so funny i used to think like certain cities

568

i would be like oh those are the problem cities like miami

569

i'll be like oh i'm definitely not sleeping tonight

570

or i'm gonna figure out a way to get there

571

but here's what i found out dear be careful with these other cities

572

that you think don't have as much going on

573

because those are the ones guys where the shit is going down

574

if anything it's worse i'm like nothing is happening in kentucky

575

or that's how i would feel

576

and those are the nights i would sleep a little

577

and all of a sudden you're like oh no

578

there's a whole ass girlfriend there miami

579

it's just like let's club let's go hang out

580

there is a whole ass fucking girlfriend i'm like have you been here before have you been here before

581

Or you get it. So, yeah.

582

It is a wild.

583

I love the sleep concept is a good way to describe it.

584

Yes, it is.

585

You will be sleepless nights.

586

And, ladies, we don't need that for our under eyes.

587

And I'm not going to.

588

I can't generalize everyone.

589

I'm just talking about what I went through and people I know.

590

But I'm sure, you know, there are great relationships.

591

I mean, my best friend is married to an athlete.

592

And they have

593

Sierra and Russell, an incredible bond, something I've never seen before.

594

I'm so happy to even witness it because it makes me feel like, oh, wow.

595

That type of love does exist because I didn't think it did for a long time.

596

I'm like, no way.

597

So it's not across the board.

598

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

599

But I can only also speak to my experience.

600

Yeah, totally.

601

What was the culture of the wives and the girlfriends?

602

Because I remember my experience.

603

And since I was a girlfriend, people were like, well, you're not shit.

604

And I was like, I know.

605

Like, sorry and I thought like at first

606

because there were a couple like head women that were like married

607

that one was so nice to me

608

because she was like I don't give a fuck about you like you're just here

609

and whatever maybe you won't be the next week or another woman

610

that you don't even know is sitting over there

611

and he's all she's also with him I'm like

612

but then there were some

613

that were like aggressive to let me know like bitch

614

you don't have a ring on your finger

615

you're not shit like what was your experience with well

616

I was a girlfriend for a long time I didn't become a wife till way later

617

so i didn't really experience

618

that like you just have the people you gravitate to like you said with you

619

and the people that you're cordial with and that's it

620

so i just found like my crew whatever whoever

621

that was on respective teams are like she's really cool i want to hang out with her

622

but i tried to be cool with everybody

623

but there's levels to being cool like there's the distant like hey

624

then there's the call me later then there's the i fucking hate damn

625

i'm coming to spend a night at your house there's different like levels of cool

626

so i just try to be you know cordial

627

and then i just had my kind of groups no i appreciate you saying that

628

because i eventually found my group day one i was like hello

629

i was like i'm gonna go sit with the fans like they'll be nicer

630

and then i think by the i would say like yeah

631

a couple months in i found like my crew of like oh this is my drinking buddy

632

and then i had the woman that was like

633

Found out he's, like, being shady.

634

What do I do?

635

And so I'm interested to know, like, do you think there was a culture of, like, turning a blind eye to cheating within the NBA?

636

Or even just in sports in general?

637

Not for me.

638

Because when I saw it or found out about it, I have to worry about my own relationship.

639

Then I dealt with it.

640

Like, I can't.

641

My shit was falling apart.

642

I can't worry about what everybody else has going on.

643

Like, I got to work.

644

I got to save myself.

645

Like, my relationship, you know, we're two parents to my son.

646

I got to make sure we're good.

647

So that's where my focus was.

648

But I never turned a blind eye to it.

649

I adjusted.

650

And ultimately, that was part of the reason why I could no longer be in the relationship.

651

How would you handle because I would get like messages.

652

This is like therapeutic for me.

653

Sorry.

654

I'm like, so how would you deal with this?

655

Because there's women that would message.

656

And it's like, sometimes it's not true.

657

Right.

658

And sometimes it's true.

659

Right.

660

And like, if you would have women reach out, like, how did you handle that?

661

i think that yes sometimes it's not true sometimes it's true

662

but there's always something inside us that knows like i would see stuff

663

and be like he's not an angel but no way

664

but then there will be things that you're just like a little too much information

665

or a little something that you're just like i don't know like you kind of feel it

666

and maybe i wasn't always right

667

but you just kind to can know yeah your gut

668

and you gotta gotta follow

669

that yeah i think a lot of times my advice to anyone

670

when you get those messages

671

because social media just i guess i was gonna say fucks all of us

672

i guess it helps us right well it's both it's like let's not publicly let my life be over

673

but like slide in the dms

674

and let me know like right obviously there's been situations where people don't need to take it public

675

but i do appreciate the message like i'm never gonna be but everyone

676

but everyone doesn't though yeah some people like what do they

677

say um ignorance is bliss like some people like i'm happy

678

how i am like as long as it's not directly affecting me

679

or i don't feel directly disrespected then i'm cool i don't judge anybody everybody has their way

680

but some people don't like if you're having the most incredible day

681

and your relationship feels great like who wants to go on their dm

682

and just see people that are miserable

683

and want to see these relationships fail be like oh

684

you know I saw your guy the other night doing whatever

685

like some people don't don't want to want to deal with that

686

and I think we're getting to the point

687

now where it's too much access like everyone has something to

688

say about everything everyone feels like they can be anywhere

689

they can see anything like I don't need to know everything

690

that's my point like I don't need to know everything

691

I'm not dumb I'm not naive

692

I don't need to know everything like what I'm supposed to know I'll find out

693

but I'm just gonna keep living my days enjoying my life not like okay

694

so on edge

695

or what today i don't like feeling on edge like i

696

don't like the feeling of like oh my god okay who's time what are they saying

697

i i can't i can't deal with that

698

that shit will i'll be a nervous wreck like i don't want to live like do you feel now

699

that you're kind of out of it

700

and again like every relationship has such goods and such bad

701

but even us joking in the beginning of like the sleep i lost right right i do think there's something

702

and i had an insight of like wow like i didn't need to i don't need to feel

703

that way i don't need to constantly like be calculating like this day

704

they're going here this day like you almost aren't able to completely live your life right

705

if you're constantly trying to track them down

706

and imagine how little they think right of you doing

707

it they're not stressed they're there they are sleeping really well

708

they don't even need melatonin they're like good night i'm in miami me like

709

so I think there's something of like if you have

710

that feeling ever it shouldn't be ignored I know it's hard

711

but it's just people listening like I think sometimes when you have

712

that like shitty feeling in your stomach and it's constant um it's something I look back and I'm like

713

I guess I knew yeah you get you know

714

and then like there is a piece in like listen it's pros

715

and cons everything being single now yes do I sleep better

716

and I don't have to worry about somebody cheating me do whatever

717

but then I'm lonely sometimes like I want to be laid up with somebody

718

or i want to worry about if somebody's cheating on me

719

or not i want to have somebody to be like

720

so it's like it's it's pros and cons like

721

when you're in a relationship you're like oh

722

if i was single it would be so it's it's pros

723

and cons to both my mom always says

724

and i'm sure she's heard it from a lot of people

725

but like single people want to be married

726

and married people want to be single like you're never fully happy in anything

727

that you're doing so you just got to figure out your happiness whether you're in a relationship

728

or out and realize that the happiness shouldn't revolve only around the relationship

729

because if you're like constantly looking for happiness because of your relationship

730

or because of another person I feel like that's when you'll always be disappointed.

731

Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ashley.

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733

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734

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735

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738

Is this easy to clean?

739

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which feels very necessary as I start to think about all the spit ups

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753

in what ways were you intentional about creating

754

and maintaining your own identity a separate from always always i was always like

755

that i mean i had a career before i met him I was on MTV

756

when I met him so always I always wanted to have my own career

757

or something like even

758

if for people listening even it's not a career a hobby something

759

you're passionate about charity whatever it is just something

760

that kind of gives you your purpose even just whether it's being a parent whatever it is

761

that you're like this is what I'm going to give my all to

762

and this is what I'm going to do just

763

because it's always good to have you know your own thing kind of going on I think

764

it empowers you in a way I I also was just thinking back to something

765

you said about like not stressing about what like you couldn't worry

766

because like you're worried about your relationship

767

and people like I think something we should all take

768

I like personally have realized this is like I talk into a microphone every week

769

and there's some shit that I've said in my past

770

and I'm like fuck like I wish I didn't say

771

that about that person because I feel like recently it's really come to be obvious

772

that like people's relationships fail succeed and

773

and then we watch

774

this influx of people on the internet making these videos of like this is my opinion on it right

775

and what i think we all know

776

if you look inside of your relationships no one fucking knows what's inside

777

and going on everyone will tell you excuse me everyone will say what they'll do until they're in the situation

778

that's why it's all bullshit when you're at it

779

when you're not in a situation you can hyper analyze you can this you can that oh

780

if i was her i would do this until you're there then it's a whole different ball game

781

so i don't feed into any of that

782

and i don't ever want to be

783

that person for someone else's relationship i always say whatever you decide i will support you this is my advice

784

and opinion on it as someone who's been there

785

but whatever you want to do i support you

786

and i just leave it at

787

that someone needs to come to a conclusion on their own

788

and if anything they're going to resent you as a friend

789

if you told them to leave they're going resent anyone

790

but themselves and it's like let them do their thing

791

because timing for people is so different right and

792

so i don't know

793

i just think everyone listening like i hold myself accountable of

794

like saying dumb shit about like celebrities in the past of like what like as

795

if i knew like just shut the fuck up and because

796

if someone did that about my relationship i'd be like you guys have no idea

797

so i think it's just a good wake -up call

798

we have too much access to give our opinion on stuff write

799

it in your group chat exactly write it in the goddamn group

800

and a lot of times people give an opinion

801

because it makes them feel better about their situation absolutely like oh they're just like me

802

or she's not all that

803

or whatever it is like no they get like happiness out of seeing someone else being miserable

804

and that's just that's definitely not the kind of person

805

i am i would love to hear just your opinion on how you know

806

when it like you're ready to end something

807

because i think ending a relationship is

808

so fucking hard you ended your marriage like how did you know

809

it was time um same thing kind of what I said about the friendship

810

when I was no longer feeling great about it sad every

811

day crying like just feeling somewhat lost not feeling loved the right way

812

I'm like this I don't want this to be for the rest of my life

813

and I don't want my son I have to be an example to my son seeing me you know sad

814

or whatever like I didn't want that

815

and I was like this is just not feeling good anymore

816

and there was a lot of things that had been done and I was just like, I gotta move on from this.

817

Do you think that if you weren't in the public eye would you have handled the situation at all differently?

818

I would have still made the same decision but it would have been less maybe pressure or less eyes on me like, what's she gonna do?

819

People are saying this and is this true or whatever it is.

820

I think it would have been less Let's go.

821

pressure maybe but i do think i still would have came to the same conclusion because

822

some boundaries were crossed that i just couldn't what's something

823

that you've learned about yourself since the divorce i learned how strong i am like you said

824

when you hear friends going through stuff it's like i'm never gonna make it through i'm never gonna survive

825

and then all of a sudden you wake up

826

and you're like wait i'm actually surviving like

827

and i'm not saying it's not hard like i say it all the time

828

that they're still very difficult moments it's not one of those things where it's just ever just like super easy

829

because again there's a child involved you know my son so

830

but you just find yourself getting stronger and stronger

831

and it's like what do they say like you don't know how strong

832

you are until being strong is your only option like what

833

are they gonna do die like i had to keep pushing on

834

and then every day like a little bit stronger a little

835

bit stronger a little bit stronger until you're finally like wow i can do this well i really respect

836

that too because i think listen when you're betrayed

837

or burned like it's so fucking hard not to be petty

838

and it is like oh motherfucker you don't even know who you're messing with

839

and i think that i'm sure like i really respect

840

that you have that outlook of like i have a son right

841

and it's like that holds you almost probably accountable to be like yeah

842

and then i don't want to do something

843

and look back like you said and be like why did i do

844

that or it wasn't even worth it it made me feel good in

845

that moment like the people who need to don't know

846

and that's it that's it for me like i don't have to like put people on blast

847

or like make people feel like shit like obviously what happened was bad enough

848

i don't need to add anything else has your view of love changed yes it has

849

and i hate to say that i hate that that's what happened

850

but it has and i'll have my friends like you can't say

851

that like i don't i'm just like love like i just don't know

852

if it's in the cards for me and they're like why would you say

853

that you can't say it before like you can't say that

854

but it's like i don't know that's how you feel

855

you just feel like i don't even want to do this shit again

856

or like let's just be friends forever like once you start going to a different place it gets

857

so complicated but i do think there's power in words

858

and you have to manifest what you want

859

so me being negative about it is not good

860

so i'm working on saying like you know what's meant for me will be

861

and someone's gonna buy me one day and love me the right way

862

Can we agree that I actually fucking hate when I go through a breakup and my friends are like,

863

you're now going to get to find the love of your life.

864

Oh, yeah, no, no, I don't like that.

865

No, no, no, I'm depressed, I'm sad, I'm mourning.

866

And you should be, and you should be okay with that.

867

I'm like that, too, because I have friends.

868

And I was like, that's just not what I want to hear right now.

869

Maybe eventually, but right now I just want you to be like, fuck everybody, I hate everyone.

870

Just be in this moment with you right now tomorrow we can talk about something different

871

but right now let's just have this moment

872

i don't need the hype up like put on the sad music let's sob

873

i wanted to be depressed i want to have a pity party i think everyone should have like a day

874

or two of that like you deserve that

875

but then it's like all right snap out of it

876

but i do think

877

there's a good thing of like it would be unrealistic for you to immediately be like i'm great i am

878

because that means you're really don't really feel that exactly

879

so it's helpful i think to keep it realistic like you said

880

you are honest with your friends maybe

881

you're being a little too honest with yourself

882

you're like love doesn't exist everybody fuck love we're all alone in this world even

883

if you think they love you they don't

884

but then i'm like but i'm

885

so happy for you you found the one i do appreciate i appreciate your realness with it

886

because it's like i hate when it's just the upside

887

and the positive but you realize everyone's take on

888

that is going to be based on an experience so

889

if you had a great experience and you're in a relationship

890

when i'm in a relationship you can't tell me anything

891

i'm like what what do you mean relationships are the best like what are you talking about

892

and then when it's done like fuck everybody

893

so it's like it just depends on where

894

that person you're talking to is at in their life now

895

or not and i respect everyone in different phases of of their life i have friends

896

that are happily married um you know whether it's sierra kelly like very happily married

897

and i look at that and i'm like wow i i want

898

that i would love to have that then i have friends

899

that are single like myself and and live in life or friends

900

that just got out of relationships like everybody's at different phases i'm gonna have you on in like two years

901

and you're like

902

i've literally never been more in love like life is

903

so good and you're gonna be like hearts in the eyes i'm like relationships are for everyone

904

and you guys can definitely find them it's like you're right

905

it changes it changes right now we're like right now i'm just no fuck

906

that are you dating not really to be honest like people

907

think like i'm just like out here like i know you can have anyone you want

908

and you're doing this and that like not really

909

because the guys are trying to talk to me are 21

910

and 22 let's talk about that because shout out to my spray tan woman you're the most amazing woman, Brittany, God bless you.

911

And she was telling me how

912

everyone younger is coming after her she's like do i have a sign on my head like

913

but what she thought was interesting was she was like i have these guys

914

that are my age that like aren't really fucking doing it for me

915

and putting in the work

916

and this 22 year old is like let me fly

917

you out let me buy

918

you dinner she's like can you afford to fly me out like what the fuck is going on

919

but she was like it's crazy they're just coming after me yeah

920

but maybe it's a good feeling for a second no

921

it's a good feeling i mean look i it's i i honestly

922

i don't know i'm gonna be i'm telling

923

i don't know anything about relationships anymore

924

i am done giving relationship advice even to myself

925

i don't know what i do know is i'm going with the flow like i'm not dating anyone currently

926

i'm not anything serious currently but if someone wants to take me out

927

and i'm like all right cool i'm not just gonna say before

928

i would be like no like what's the angle what's this i'm trying to be like more open about it

929

and whatever happens happens how do you deal with like a

930

date like would you go to a pub like you can't go to a public joint well it depends like

931

if you want to be seen with them i mean yeah

932

then it just kind of depends like i don't know at first

933

i wouldn't want to be like out too public

934

because you want to fill it out first and make sure it's even

935

but friendships are friendships like i'm allowed to be friends with people like

936

and girls and guys can go out and it could be platonic

937

or you could just begin to know somebody like everything is not

938

so heavy and like

939

if you don't go to public place

940

then where do you go come to my house come to the hotel room

941

that to me that's even more heavy like no no that's

942

that that is right

943

so it's like for the first date like meet me at the hotel room

944

so no one sees us

945

it's kind of like this is sketch yeah like what tone are you setting yeah

946

i don't know i told you i don't know i'm just going

947

but i appreciate it and everybody's different like you can meet somebody

948

and be like all right i'm cool going out to whatever restaurant with this person

949

and you might not even know why it's just a feeling you have then you can meet somebody else

950

and be like oh no i don't want nobody to see us out like

951

i don't know it's just a feeling

952

it's not like a what i'm saying is not a one size fits all would you ever date an athlete again

953

would i date an athlete again i don't know um i don't probably not a basketball player

954

probably not a basketball player okay football let's go here we go

955

that that is fun not basketball probably not i mean i don't know

956

but probably not basketball

957

and football is i look at me like already wait i'm like do you have somebody

958

because you're so you got

959

so excited i'm like what's going on like the schedule's better less less sleepless night is

960

that a world that you're no no

961

but i i'm just thinking for you like i want you to find love i don't have anyone for you

962

but if i do i'll fucking text you

963

and be like i got this i got this

964

but i do think there's something about um yeah we're done with the nba

965

but you know other sports could we could entertain exactly are you on dating apps no

966

i'm not on dating apps although i have a lot of friends on raya

967

and this and that and they love it

968

and they're dating i don't i haven't got

969

there yet again no judgment is working for a lot of people

970

i know as a matter of fact my dad married the woman he met on a dating app

971

so i've seen where it can work like my dad married her from plentyoffish .com

972

which i was told was the app specifically for something else i think sex

973

but they hit it off and they got married

974

so i know it can work i just haven't ventured

975

there yet okay that's fair would you let your friend set

976

you up with someone a hundred percent that's the best yes that's the best way

977

because i feel like my friend knows me knows what i like that's the best way

978

i think getting hooked up with somebody like

979

that is the best way like friends being like hey i'm bringing

980

so and so or you got to meet la like you would love her

981

or whatever like that's the best way what friend do you think would know your type the most

982

and like you're like okay i dressed you um all of them but i think

983

all of them but kim would be really good at that all of them but she would be good at that

984

also because she's single now too

985

so it's like it's different like you know

986

we can talk a little bit more about like what do

987

we like what are we not like like what are we

988

looking for what are we not looking for like it's different I think it's good to have a friend like

989

that so knows you because I also feel like

990

Kim's the type of person

991

that like she's like let me do the work for you then you just show up at the date

992

I'm gonna do a whole background check just sit down sweetie

993

and you can count on me that they will be the right person for you you're like thanks

994

Kim um what is something after like everything you've been through what is like a non -negotiable

995

that you've learned about yourself that you're like I have to have this in a relationship

996

and like I can't also deal with that in a relationship for your next time.

997

I think I definitely have to have like

998

a family element meaning someone that's into family loves like hanging out with fam that's like important to me someone

999

that laughs like I want to have fun I want to like laugh like the world is

1000

so serious like I just want to laugh

1001

and have a good time that's important to me and then like something I won't tolerate um

1002

I won't tolerate lying like liars I'm just like no matter what it is I respect you more

1003

if you're just honest and tell me I could deal with

1004

that but the lying shit like I can't I just can't take it as we wrap up I think

1005

that like you've been through so much relationships career your life

1006

what is something that you like wish you could tell your younger self like

1007

if you had a second to be like oh my god wait

1008

I've gone through all these experiences I lived life what would you tell your younger self

1009

that no matter what you do everyone's not gonna like you like I'm such a people pleaser

1010

I'm a cancer I keep saying that

1011

so like we love people we want to be loved by everybody

1012

and it's like why don't you not like me

1013

you don't even know me like I stopped I stopped caring about

1014

that like no matter what I do people are gonna have something to say about it all the good

1015

I do something's gonna be said whatever I wear something's gonna be said

1016

it doesn't matter it's just like what it is

1017

and you have to realize

1018

that no matter what you do you can't please everybody you have to like find your own happiness

1019

and please yourself and it sounds like so cheesy but it's just

1020

so true because like especially with instagram

1021

and all the social media it's like you look at what people are saying

1022

and you're like well why are they saying

1023

that they don't even know me

1024

or why don't they just ask me instead of just trying to put some shit on blast on the internet

1025

but you just realize that it doesn't matter it's always going to happen

1026

so you have to find your own happiness amen

1027

and scene you're amazing and it was really cool to like get to feel your personality so good

1028

so the daddy gang is gonna love

1029

you thank you thank you thank you i can't wait to watch you yeah

1030

and find me a man goodbye so the nfl player i was talking about

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This speaking lesson is built on the video “La La Anthony: Life After Professional Athletes”. This video has 1030 sentences and 12061 words to shadow. The speech runs for 56:13. The speaker talks fast, about 215 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 87% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.

Key vocabulary in this video

15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
friendship noun	/ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/	The condition of being friends.
athlete noun	/ˈæθ.liːt/	A participant in any of a group of sporting activities including track and field, road running, cross country running and racewalking.
daddy noun	/ˈdædi/	Also used as a term of address: a father; one's father.
happiness noun	/ˈhæpinɪs/	The emotion of being happy; joy; elation.
tinder noun	/ˈtɪn.dɚ/	Small dry sticks and finely-divided fibrous matter etc., used to help light a fire.
relax verb	/ɹɪˈlæks/	To make something loose.
preference noun	/ˈpɹɛf(ə)ɹ(ə)ns/	The selection of one thing or person over others (with the main adposition being "for" in relation to the thing or person, but possibly also "of")
cheat verb	/ˈt͡ʃiːt/	To violate rules in order to gain, or attempt to gain, advantage from a situation.
vibe noun	/vaɪb/	An atmosphere or aura felt to belong to a person, place or thing.
intern noun	/ˈɪntɝn/	A student or recent graduate who works in order to gain experience in their chosen field.
sudden adjective	/ˈsʌd.ən/	Occurring quickly with little or no warning or expectation; instantly.
con verb	/kɑn/	To trick, lie or defraud, usually for personal gain.
judgment noun	/ˈd͡ʒʌd͡ʒ.mənt/	The act of judging.
poster noun	/ˈpoʊstɚ/	A picture of a celebrity, an event etc., intended to be attached to a wall.
passionate adjective	/ˈpæʃənɪt/	Fired with intense feeling.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
go through verb		To travel from one end of something to the other.
look back verb		To think of (past events) in retrospect (in hindsight).
find out verb		To discover, as by asking or investigating.
go back verb		To return to a place or state after having been there at a previous time.
figure out verb		To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce.
get off verb		To move from being on top of (something) to not being on top of it.
go back to verb		To stem from; to originate in.
wake up verb	/ˌweɪk ˈʌp/	To stop sleeping; to awake.

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

How did you get your foot in the door?
I'm like, wait, like, why do these people know about this thing?
Do you know what I mean?
What was your type of time?
I'm like, so how would you deal with this?

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result	if it's a good friendship you will have · if i was single it would be · if i was her i would do
“Used to” used to + verb — a past habit or state that is no longer true	used to feel · used to think
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	i've known · we've heard · has lied
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	is brought · wasn't intimidated · was intimidated

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 556 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, you're, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “sh” and “zh” sounds: friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, passionate /ˈpæʃənɪt/, shout /ʃaʊt/, internship /ˈɪntɜːnʃɪp/, conclusion /kənˈkluːʒən/
Long words — get the stress right: complicated /ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, miserable /ˈmɪz(ə)ɹəbəl/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, disappointed /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪnɪd/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like friendship, athlete, daddy.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: La La Anthony: Life After Professional Athletes - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

Key vocabulary in this video

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Sentences worth repeating

Grammar in this video

Pronunciation to watch

How to practise with this video

What is the Shadowing Technique?