Shadowing Practice: You Will Always Reject Love Until You Do This... - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Bye you you It's one of the most basic laws of psychology that deserves repetition and constant re -examination,
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because it doesn't reach those who really need to hear it.
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When people have a bad childhood, They grow up to reject love, as adults.
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At a societal level, we continue to believe in uncomplicated ways that what everyone wants is love.
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This is desperately untrue.
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Anyone who has not enjoyed love in childhood, who has not been the recipient of cosy, comforting and supportive treatment as a small person,
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will not feel comfortable at all when love comes along in later life.
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They will do their utmost to sabotage love and to hide from themselves that this is what they're up to.
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They will be utterly convinced that they are interested in love.
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They will swear on a first date
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that all they want is a happy relationship and maybe marriage quite soon
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and then they will make resolutely sure that no happiness is possible and that misery is the only option for them.
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They will do this in two main ways: firstly, by choosing people who are not interested in giving love.
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People who are so damaged that they're violent, abusive, cold -hearted, cynical, obsessive or in some other way elsewhere.
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This person will become an object of fixation.
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Despite awful treatment, the lover will return again and again to grief and unfulfillment.
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they won't be able to understand why they're compelled they'll keep being so anyway.
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And the second method for refusing love will be to turn on people who are kind, good and interested in them.
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They may tolerate the beginning of a relationship, they might even last a few years, but gradually they will be unable to sustain warmth.
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Their entire emotional system was built to cope with coldness and hardship.
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It's impossible for them to feel at home with safety.
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Therefore, as soon as a relationship reaches a certain level of comfort, Exceeding that they ever knew in childhood, the sabotage will begin.
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There will be an affair or arguments.
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The lover will start to feel, for no reason but with total sincerity, that their very good partner is too controlling or has no room for their needs.
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They will genuinely believe that the kind lover is out to get them
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and undermine them all so that they can exit the relationship at speed and with a clear conscience, and their nervous system can return to a baseline,
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governed by a sense of isolation and self -contempt.
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It normally takes an adult between 10 and 30 years, or never, to work out that this is at play.
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They need to read books, go to therapy, but most of all, they need to have so many bad experiences that eventually, after the fourth marriage or 19th relationship,
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they start to see that they're involved in a pattern of self -destruction that has no inevitable cause in the outside world.
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They may be very old, when the penny drops.
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Despite this theoretical knowledge, despite films like this and books that go into it all at even greater depth, right now in streets in Lincolnshire and Bordeaux,
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Nevada and Tahiti, young people who had a deprived childhood are just starting these cycles all over again.
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A nice -seeming girl is just preparing to leave a kindly
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reliable boyfriend she met at high school on the grounds
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that he's too weak a polite young man is just refusing
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a second date with a lovely person who's warm -hearted and wants to know their story because they're apparently too nice.
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There are dynamics here that will keep psychotherapists and lawyers busy late into the 21st century.
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As societies, we think we're making progress, but in the central area of our emotional lives,
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we keep repeating the same miserable stories like blind donkeys.
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Let's repeat the point again: if you've suffered from an awful childhood, you're going to try to sabotage love and guarantee yourself an awful series of relationships.
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unless you take emergency measures now.
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Therefore, take the nauseous feeling that you're having at the prospect of a sweet person and sit with it.
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Explore it.
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Imagine the feeling is wrong.
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Imagine the feeling is a legacy of trauma.
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Don't sack the nice person who's been trying to marry you and offer you a good life.
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And don't keep going back to the violent horror who's been punching you
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or turning down all your offers of cuddles for years.
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If this rings bells with you or anyone you know, send them this film seek professional help break the pattern.
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About This Lesson
In this lesson, you will practice your English speaking skills by exploring complex emotional themes presented in the video titled "You Will Always Reject Love Until You Do This." As you engage with the content, you'll improve your English pronunciation and develop a deeper understanding of psychological patterns that influence relationships. By mimicking the speech patterns and emotional tones conveyed in the video, you will enhance your ability to express subtle nuances in English conversation.
Key Vocabulary & Phrases
- Reject love - To refuse or turn away from affection or emotional connection.
- Bad childhood - A difficult or traumatic upbringing that affects adult relationships.
- Sabotage - To intentionally ruin or obstruct something, often referring to relationships in this context.
- Comfort - A state of emotional well-being that can feel unfamiliar to those with traumatic pasts.
- Emotional system - The way individuals process feelings and reactions based on past experiences.
- Self-destruction - Engaging in behaviors that are harmful to oneself, often in relationships.
- Legacy of trauma - The lasting impact of past traumas that influences current behavior.
- Professional help - Assistance from therapists or counselors to address emotional issues.
Practice Tips
To make the most of your english speaking practice with this video, utilize the technique of shadowing. Here are some specific tips:
- Listen attentively: Play the video at a slow speed first to capture the nuances of pronunciation and intonation. Focus on how the speaker expresses complex emotions and ideas.
- Repeat phrases aloud: After listening to each segment, pause the video and repeat the sentences you heard. Pay attention to the rhythm and emotional weight behind the words.
- Use pauses effectively: When shadow speaking, take pauses where the speaker does. This will help you match their timing and emotion, enhancing your overall fluency.
- Record yourself: Use a simple recording device to capture your shadowing attempts. Listening to your recordings can help you identify areas to improve your english pronunciation and emotional expression.
- Engage with the content: Reflect on the material and try to relate it to your own experiences. This not only improves your speaking skills but also deepens your understanding of the vocabulary.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on | who's been trying · who's been punching |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | those who really · Anyone who has · people who are |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | has not enjoyed · you've suffered |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.