Практика Shadowing: Happiness is a Skill (And You’re Missing It) - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео
Создание урока...
1
oh, look, I have this pen.
2
And then the moment that this external thought, this person has more.
3
The moment that that thought enters, my happiness is destroyed.
4
The reason that video games no longer become fun is because we get bored while playing them.
5
We can be very, very excited about the future, but the moment that the thought of climate change,
6
the thought of inflation, the thought of a dating crisis enters our mind, we are no longer happy.
7
Today, I want to teach you how to be happy.
8
Now, that may sound insane because is happiness something that can be taught?
9
Because normally when we think about happiness, we think about a fulfilling life.
10
Oh yeah, the future is bright, but there's climate change, there's war, there's inflation.
11
We think, oh, happiness is finding the person that you love, right?
12
Oh, if I could just get this person to love me back, then I would be happy.
13
But oftentimes those people succeed in entering a relationship and it doesn't lead to happiness.
14
Divorce rates are 50%, people change, the relationship turned out not to be what you thought it was.
15
And then we think about happiness as goals.
16
Like I want to achieve all of these things and if I achieve all of these things, then I will be happy.
17
But y'all know better than I do, all kinds of crap gets in the way.
18
So how on earth are we supposed to be happy in today's world?
19
Well, it's actually pretty simple.
20
The problem is that we have forgotten or lost what it means to actually be happy.
21
We have lost our technical understanding of what happiness is.
22
Right?
23
So if you ask someone, oh, what is happiness to you?
24
First of all, that question is stupid.
25
Because happiness to you is irrelevant.
26
There is no happiness to you.
27
It's not like we're asking the question, oh, what is sadness to you?
28
What is pain to you?
29
What is feeling anxious to you?
30
No, like these are common, technical, neuroscientific definitions of the human state of existence.
31
And we have lost our understanding of, first of all, what the definition of happiness is.
32
And since we don't even know what it is, we can't consistently create it.
33
But here's the crazy thing.
34
We actually know exactly what happiness is.
35
That's what I'm going to teach you today.
36
And once we understand what it is, we will understand how to create it.
37
I know this is going to sound nuts, but basically irrespective of the circumstances of your life.
38
Now, if you're listening to this, the first thing that you're going to say is this is bullshit, right?
39
Like this is insane.
40
You can't just make a video about learning to be happy or how to be happy.
41
And then everyone becomes happy.
42
If it was that so simple, someone would have done it.
43
Well, hear me out and let's pay attention and then we'll see, right?
44
Cause I get that.
45
I get how insane it is, but just bear with me.
46
So the first thing that we got to understand is that happiness does not come from objects, right?
47
So this is the biggest mistake we make and it's a tragedy that this is true by the way.
48
So we go our whole lives thinking that a particular thing will make me happy, right?
49
So, oh, if I have a burger today, I will be happy.
50
If I can get this person to fall in love with me, I will be happy.
51
I'm a virgin.
52
If I can get laid, I will be happy.
53
If I get promoted, if I make more money, all of these things will bring me happiness.
54
Now, why do we believe this stuff?
55
Because in our experience, duh, duh, it's true.
56
I wanted a burger, I got a burger, and I ate it, and now I'm happy.
57
Dr. K, what the hell are you talking about?
58
This is how it works.
59
Except it doesn't work that way.
60
I know.
61
I know.
62
Just hear me out.
63
Because if the burger is where the happiness is, every time you eat a burger, you would be happy, right?
64
And I was addicted to video games.
65
This is the big tragedy, is that the happiness is not in the object.
66
If it was, I wouldn't be here.
67
I would be super happy being a degenerate gamer playing video games 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
68
That's what I'd be doing all the time.
69
But the whole problem is that chasing that object doesn't consistently bring you happiness.
70
And y'all know this, right?
71
Because you can have your favorite show that you want to, oh, I really want to binge watch a show, and then it's just not enjoyable.
72
You really want to play this video game, oh, Path of Exile 2 just came out and everyone's really excited.
73
You load up Path of Exile 2, it's like, eh, eh.
74
Or you do finally get that person to go out with you on a date.
75
You do finally get laid.
76
And then it turns out that this is not what you thought it was.
77
So the first thing that we have to understand is that if the happiness is in the object, every time we engage with the object,
78
we would get the same level of happiness, right?
79
Like that's just how it works.
80
If the weight of this pen is in the pen, when I pick up the pen, I feel the weight.
81
That doesn't change no matter how many times I pick it what my mood is, what the weather is, it doesn't matter.
82
It doesn't matter.
83
The quality is intrinsic in the object, but that's not how it works for happiness.
84
So how does it work for happiness?
85
So once again, we're going to pay attention to our experiences.
86
So there's this saying that comparison is the thief of joy.
87
And I've been seeing this posted on all of the Instagrams.
88
And comparison is the thief of joy.
89
Don't compare, don't compare, don't compare.
90
So we can learn a lot from this.
91
The problem is that comparison is not the only thief of joy, right?
92
So we can go through our lives not comparing
93
and there are all kinds of other things that can take away our happiness.
94
And this is really important data because if we understand the mechanism of how comparison takes away our happiness, we will understand what happiness truly is.
95
So let's say that I get a toy.
96
Okay.
97
I get some present for Christmas and I'm really happy.
98
I'm like, fuck yeah, I got this toy.
99
And then I call my friend and my friend who, you know, also got Christmas presents.
100
Like, yeah, I got that same toy and I got this other toy.
101
And now suddenly I was happy, right?
102
I was really happy with the toy.
103
And then this other, this bit of information, this bit, tiny bit of information for my friend enters my brain.
104
And then suddenly I was so happy with this.
105
Oh, wow.
106
I'm so happy.
107
And then suddenly this happiness disappears.
108
Like, what the?
109
Isn't that weird?
110
Like, think about that for a second, right?
111
Isn't it really strange that you can be perfectly happy with something, then something happens and the happiness is robbed?
112
Oh, I got promoted.
113
Yeah, I'm making $100,000 a year.
114
Oh, your bonus was $100,000 and you're making $120,000?
115
Suddenly I'm unhappy.
116
So kind of weird, right?
117
And now let's look at our other example of playing a video game or binge watching a show and not enjoying it.
118
What is it that makes you not enjoy binge watching a show?
119
Why do we even long for things like binge watching shows, playing video games, drugs, sex, even sleep?
120
I work with people who are suicidal and they long for death.
121
What are they longing for with all of these things?
122
They are longing for a peace of mind, right?
123
So I want to get lost in a show.
124
I want to be so engaged with the show that the rest of the world disappears.
125
I want to turn that TV on at six o'clock and I want to watch all through the night, fuel myself, and then when dawn comes, I'm going to pass out.
126
It's going to be amazing, dude.
127
I've done land parties, guys.
128
I know we know what we're talking about.
129
If you're a land party person, you want to obliviate your mind.
130
You want to be lost with drugs.
131
You want to be completely outside of your own head.
132
And that brings us to another point as well, which is that everyone is doing mindfulness now.
133
But mindfulness is a scam.
134
That's not really what it is.
135
The point of mindfulness is not to fill your mind with things.
136
It is actually the exact opposite, to empty your mind.
137
The actual practice is mindlessness, right?
138
That's what we're trying to do.
139
We're trying to empty our mind.
140
And when we enter this empty mind state, we end up being relatively content and happy.
141
People who do mindfulness meditation for about an eight-week period, their quality of life increases.
142
They become objectively happier.
143
So how can we kind of distill all of these examples to understand what the nature of happiness is?
144
So when I'm enjoying, I got a pen for Christmas.
145
Yay, I'm very happy.
146
So at this moment, my mind is focused on this.
147
I am absorbed in this.
148
This is why we love drugs.
149
So if people who, you know, are dancing while they're drunk or eating, getting the munchies while they're high, What is so fun about that?
150
It's that you are completely absorbed within the activity.
151
This is also why orgasm is so much fun because when you are having an orgasm, you are not thinking about anything else.
152
So the nature of happiness is very simple.
153
The nature of happiness is a one-pointedness of the mind.
154
Anytime we are absorbed within one activity, we are happy.
155
The problem that we fall into is
156
that we become dependent on on external objects to create this one-pointedness of the mind for us.
157
Since I don't know how to make my mind one-pointed, I'm going to rely on a video game or drugs or a TV show, and we don't watch boring shows, right?
158
We're going to rely on this object to make our mind one-pointed.
159
The problem is that as we rely on this external object to force one-pointedness of the mind for us,
160
then our mind becomes weak.
161
We are not capable of making our mind one-pointed.
162
Now there's a really, really interesting term to describe a mind that is not one-pointed, a mind that is fractured in a thousand directions.
163
And as a psychiatrist, the thing that my patients consistently hate the most across every patient that I've worked with,
164
the thing that people dislike the most is something called boredom.
165
When people hear about our coaching program, their first response is usually, why would I work with another human being when I can watch YouTube videos all on my own?
166
Working with a coach is about amplifying your time and effort.
167
We're great at wanting things and even making some progress, but we usually struggle with follow through or have some kind of setback.
168
And that's exactly where working with a coach can help.
169
Coaches provide personalized support to help you set appropriate goals, make progress, and even work through setbacks.
170
Just let us know what your goals are, what kind of support you're looking for, and we'll match you with the best coach for your unique needs.
171
Check out the link in the description below to see if coaching is right for you.
172
So what is boredom?
173
What happens inside you when you were bored?
174
Your mind is all over the place.
175
You want to do this, you want to do this, you want to do this, you feel restless, you feel like fidgeting, right?
176
There's nothing to occupy the mind.
177
So when we're bored, I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but a couple days ago, I was bored.
178
So I loaded up a video game.
179
I played it for five minutes and I was like, ah, this is not fun for me.
180
So I closed the video game.
181
I started browsing Reddit for a couple of minutes.
182
Then I closed Reddit and I was like, this is not fun for me.
183
Then I loaded up a second video game, Star Sector and then Path of Exile.
184
And I played that for five minutes and I was like, man, this is not doing it for me.
185
What human beings hate more than anything else in this world is boredom.
186
Happiness and sadness are not opposites.
187
Happiness and boredom are opposites because happiness is a one-pointed mind and boredom is a mind that's all over the place.
188
Why is it that we watch TV when we eat something?
189
Because when we eat something, instead of focusing on this, our mind is running all over the place.
190
So instead what we want is we want an artificial way to focus our mind
191
so that we're not bored when we eat.
192
And now if we look at all of the things that destroy our happiness, we will see that there is one very, very, very simple pattern.
193
I used to be one-pointed, And now an external thought enters and shatters my one-pointedness.
194
I used to be, oh, look, I have this pen.
195
And then the moment that this external thought, this person has more.
196
The moment that that thought enters, my happiness is destroyed.
197
The reason that video games no longer become fun is because we get bored while playing them.
198
We can be very, very excited about the future, but the moment that the thought of climate change,
199
the thought of inflation, the thought of a dating crisis enters our mind, we are no longer happy.
200
And this is the cool thing about a one-pointed mind.
201
All the things that you think of as making you unhappy will no longer make you unhappy.
202
Really good example is something called work.
203
So I've seen so many posts about people saying, oh, is this just life where we're working from nine to five and then we commute and then that's it?
204
I can't do this for 30 years, right?
205
I can't slog away for 30 years.
206
And then on the flip side, we have this thing called the flow state, which is this mythical creation of this time when people are like, they're working really hard, being really productive,
207
and it feels really good.
208
Like that sounds completely OP.
209
What's the difference between these two states?
210
When you are grinding nine to five and you don't like your job, what is happening in your mind?
211
Are you absorbed with your work?
212
Of course not.
213
Your mind is wandering.
214
Your work is boring.
215
What is boring?
216
It is many fluctuations of the mind all at once, right?
217
This is the nature of suffering.
218
My work is so boring, so then I have to distract myself.
219
I can tolerate work if I listen to an audiobook, if I listen to a podcast.
220
Why do we do that?
221
Because when I listen to a podcast, it creates one-pointedness of the mind and makes the work more tolerable.
222
But it's not the podcast itself.
223
It is simply the one-pointedness of the mind that becomes tolerable.
224
And this is true from a clinical perspective as well.
225
If we look at any mental illness, whichever one you want, we're going to go through a bunch of them,
226
what we will see is that all of these mental illnesses share one thing, which is many fluctuations of the mind.
227
When someone is depressed, they're thinking, oh, life is hopeless, there's no point, no one likes me, I'm failing, I'm terrible, I'm a loser.
228
so many thoughts.
229
When we look at something like a panic attack or anxiety, that's even worse.
230
Oh my God, this is going to happen and this is going to happen and this is going to happen.
231
And then you engage with those thoughts, you feed those thoughts and you work yourself from anxiety into a panic attack.
232
What is the difference between anxiety and panic attack?
233
The number of thoughts that you're having per second.
234
We can even look at things like obsessive compulsive disorder, which is literally the definition of obsessive compulsive disorder is to have intrusive,
235
obsessional thoughts that will never go away.
236
The reason that we engage in compulsions is to shut off our thoughts.
237
Literally, this is what happens in OCD.
238
People are like, unless I flick the light switch up and down seven times, I will keep having thoughts of everyone in my life dying in a car accident.
239
So in order to shut off the thoughts, they engage in the behavior.
240
This is the really sad thing if we look at the world today.
241
We all have a very mild form of OCD.
242
We don't really have OCD.
243
But the analogy still holds because what are we doing?
244
I have a negative thought.
245
What do I do?
246
I engage in a compulsive behavior to make it go away.
247
I'm bored.
248
What should I do?
249
Play a video game.
250
Makes the thought of boredom go away.
251
I feel terrible about myself.
252
What should I do?
253
Watch some porn.
254
Makes the thought of feeling terrible about myself, go away.
255
So if you want to create happiness in your life, irrespective of your circumstances,
256
and I know this is what's really going to rub people the wrong way
257
because we all think that the circumstances create happiness, but we know that's not true.
258
There are plenty of billionaires out there who are still struggling to be happy.
259
And I've worked with homeless people who seem oddly content.
260
You may have met some of these people in your life where you're like, how is this person so happy despite having so little.
261
Or you may look at another person and say, how on earth is this person so unhappy when they have so much?
262
So sure, there is a correlation between the amount of security you have, the amount of money you have in your happiness.
263
That correlation absolutely exists.
264
But what we're talking about is a technical definition of happiness.
265
What is happiness within you.
266
So now the question becomes, how do we create it?
267
So the first thing that we've got to do is talk about meditation.
268
And I know, oh, meditation is the answer.
269
Meditation is the answer.
270
Meditation, no, meditation is not the answer.
271
We're going to talk about it.
272
You decide whether meditation is the answer.
273
Meditation is not going to make you happy, okay?
274
Let's understand how meditation can make you happy if you do it the right way.
275
What does meditation train us to do?
276
Meditation trains us to have a one-pointed mind.
277
That's it.
278
Observe your breath.
279
Keep on observing your breath.
280
But I'm bored.
281
I don't give a fuck.
282
Keep observing your breath.
283
Keep observing your breath.
284
But I'm bored.
285
I'm not doing anything.
286
There are no video games.
287
There's no titties.
288
It's just meditation.
289
I'm bored, right?
290
Meditate on a titty.
291
I don't know if that's going to be edited out or not.
292
Okay, so what's the purpose of meditation?
293
So if you want a one-pointed mind,
294
meditation is simply the easiest way to practice entering a one-pointed state of mind, right?
295
So this is why meditation is also an evidence-based intervention for anxiety, for depression, for schizophrenia, for OCD.
296
Like, cool how that works, right?
297
It relieves all of these things because it counters the basic problem with those, which is too many thoughts, thoughts all over the place, really chaotic thoughts.
298
And y'all know what this is like.
299
You know what it's like to have thoughts full of your head
300
and you don't know what to do and you're spiraling and all, it feels terrible.
301
It's so much suffering.
302
Instead, we want peace.
303
We want peace of mind.
304
Okay.
305
So meditation is the first thing that will train you to do that.
306
If you want to do that.
307
The second thing that we can do, and this one is going to be even a crappier answer than meditation is learn to tolerate boredom.
308
So this is what I would recommend for you all.
309
You guys, if the weather is decent, you're not going to like get frostbite or anything.
310
So I think a grounding practice works really well.
311
So go outside, Make sure your shoes are off and hopefully you can step on grass or dirt or something natural.
312
Make sure your head is uncovered and your feet are touching the ground and spend 30 minutes with your eyes closed outside,
313
focusing on each foot and then the top of your head.
314
So we're gonna do this rotating meditation, I guess, of focusing on one foot, focusing on the second foot, focusing on the top of our heads.
315
Just rotate your awareness between these three things, Take a deep breath in and feel yourself just pulling in the energy from the ground and the sky.
316
The purpose of this is just to create the tolerance of boredom.
317
So the other thing that we can do to help us be happy is just to learn how to tolerate boredom.
318
So I think this grounding practice is really, really good because it gives us something to occupy the mind.
319
But it's something that on purpose, I'm not giving you something that's going to be very occupying.
320
I don't want you to be very occupied.
321
I want you to be bored.
322
You can also, if you've got balls of steel or ovaries of steel, you can also try free-balling travel.
323
So this is something that's really dangerous, right?
324
You could try going on a plane or going on a bus or going on a car and not doing anything.
325
Don't take anything to do and just free-ball it.
326
Just go for it.
327
Raw-dog that stuff.
328
It's not just give it a shot.
329
You're like, oh my god, Dr. K, that sounds terrible.
330
But well, think about it.
331
What are you really losing?
332
I mean, you have thousands and thousands and thousands and hours of playing video games and watching shows and stuff like that.
333
What, like four hours of not watching something is going to kill you?
334
Yeah, Dr. K, it's going to kill me.
335
Oh my God.
336
So learn to tolerate boredom.
337
The better you are at tolerating boredom, sitting with boredom, letting those thoughts arise and letting them pass, the more happy you will become.
338
And now we get to the third and arguably the hardest thing and the thing that will actually
339
make everything else that I said completely false.
340
Okay, so now I'm going to torpedo my whole argument.
341
So if you really want to be happy, if we look at ourselves when we are in a moment of happiness, The cause of disruption is something called a lingering thought.
342
So you're sitting there, maybe you're at Thanksgiving or Christmas or whatever, and you're having a good meal, and then a thought creeps in, right?
343
So we already said that one-pointedness of the mind is what creates happiness, fair enough.
344
But if we look at when we try to be happy, we have these persistent lingering thoughts that will enter our mind.
345
They come from somewhere.
346
And these lingering thoughts are really, really dangerous because there are all kinds of desires that we have that are unfulfilled.
347
There are all kinds of goals that we set for ourselves.
348
There are all kinds of worries that we have about the future.
349
So the last thing to really consider is that you cannot be happy.
350
It's going to be very hard to be happy as long as those lingering thoughts are there.
351
Now, I'm not talking about depression.
352
I'm not talking about comparison.
353
I know it's kind of weird because it's hard for me to define this, but hopefully you'll know what I'm talking about.
354
There are some thoughts in your life that keep coming up about things that you should do.
355
That's what a lingering thought is.
356
It's persistent.
357
It's not a random fluctuation.
358
It is a persistent fluctuation.
359
And it's not something that is necessarily like depressive, right?
360
It's not a thought that makes you feel really, really terrible or really, really anxious.
361
There are thoughts that connect and come from your heart and things that you know you should do.
362
Things that make you feel sad and disappointed, more disappointed with yourself than sad, right?
363
It's like, I should really do this thing.
364
And the last thing that I'll tell y'all is that in order to make these lingering thoughts go away, you've got two options.
365
You can either become a level 100 yogi or you can do the fucking thing.
366
And what I want y'all to understand is when we struggle with these thoughts, these lingering thoughts, we struggle with procrastination, I should do this, oh, like, oh, it's so hard.
367
That's not what I'm talking about.
368
Should, shouldn't enter the equation.
369
There's a different way to look at this, which is do you want to have a peaceful mind?
370
If the answer is yes, you will never have it as long as that karma is incomplete.
371
As long as that thought is lingering, it is incomplete.
372
You will never be happy.
373
You can level up to 100 level yogi and then gain complete detachment and be perfectly happy.
374
You can do it that way.
375
That's way harder.
376
What's way easier is actually doing the fucking thing.
377
So when you're quiet, when you're got some moment of happiness, when you're one pointed and that thought pops up, the way that you need to approach that task is,
378
do I want peace of mind?
379
I know this is going to sound insane for the rest of my life.
380
If I want peace of mind for the rest of my life, it has to start with this lingering thought.
381
Because if you always wanted to be a painter and you've wanted this for 15 years and it keeps coming up, keeps coming up.
382
This will haunt you.
383
It has haunted you for your entire life.
384
So then you must do the thing if you want a mind at peace.
385
Now you may say, but Dr. K, does this mean I should just do whatever, you know, like, should I just work really hard and fulfill all my goals?
386
No. I want y'all to understand very clearly what I'm saying.
387
What I'm talking about is the state of happiness and what shatters the state of happiness.
388
I'm not telling you to fulfill your goals so that you have a happy life.
389
I've worked with billionaires who have tried that doesn't work.
390
The fulfillment of the goal is not what brings you happiness.
391
The fulfillment of the goal makes the lingering thought go away
392
and allows you to be one pointed for a moment in time.
393
Focus, Dr. K, focus, focus your mind.
394
The one exception could be the insertion of certain body images could bring us happiness.
395
I don't know.
396
Anyway.
📺 Тот же канал
B21
The Best Solution to Video Game Addiction
University StudentsBusiness English+1
B21
Your Imagination Won't Fix Your Life
University StudentsBusiness English+1
B11
Is gaming a form of art?
University StudentsWorking Adults+1
B21
What Makes ADHD in Women Different
University StudentsWorking Adults+1
B24
Psychiatrist Explains Why You Feel Tired All The Time (No Matter What You Do...)
University StudentsWorking Adults+1
C12
A Guide To Living Without Regret (Using Science)
University StudentsBusiness English+1
C11
How To ACTUALLY Stay Mentally Healthy
University StudentsBusiness English+1
C12
Why Overthinkers Make No Progress (Rumination)
University StudentsBusiness English+1
C1Self Loathing Man of Inaction
University StudentsBusiness English+1
C1We Need To Talk About Ozempic
University StudentsBusiness English+1
B1What Makes A Relationship Great?
University StudentsWorking Adults+1
✨ Рекомендуемое видео
B21
143 предложений
6 Habits That Physically Rewire Your Brain For Happiness
University StudentsBusiness English+1
B25
53 предложений
The grindification of hobbies
University StudentsBusiness English+2
B236
24 предложений
The Economics of Happiness - Trailer
University StudentsBusiness English+2
B21
12 предложений
Andrew Tate on men's happiness
University StudentsBusiness English+1
B21
176 предложений
when AI decides the speed of the world
University StudentsBusiness English+1
B2408 предложений
Give Me 30 Minutes and You Will Know Exactly How to Find Your Purpose
University StudentsBusiness English+1
B21
451 предложений
The Things Money Can't Buy 🌱 ｜ Real English Conversation
University StudentsBusiness English+2
B225
18 предложений
What Is Greater Than Happiness I Robert Greene
University StudentsBusiness English+2
B21
117 предложений
Are you a giver or taker?
University StudentsBusiness English+1
B21
247 предложений
20 Cheat Codes I Wish I Knew at 20
University StudentsBusiness English+2
Об этом уроке
Вы практикуете английский с "Happiness is a Skill (And You’re Missing It)" с помощью техники Shadowing — метода, разработанного для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков.
Слушайте каждое предложение, обращайте внимание на ударения и связывание звуков, затем повторяйте вслух уверенно. 15–30 минут ежедневной практики дадут заметные результаты.
Что такое техника Shadowing?
Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.