Практика Shadowing: Once you stop caring, they will chase you. - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео
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people want what they can't have i bet
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if you're clicking on this video you have no idea how to flirt
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when you see someone cute you literally just like stand back
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and you're so awkward
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and that's completely okay you don't have to change your entire personality in order to get someone to like you
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and honestly you shouldn't anyone who comes online
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and tells you to be inauthentic to yourself in order to
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attract someone is just trying to sell you something at the
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end of the They have reached out to me on fake accounts.
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They've texted me with those fake numbers and it's to a point where it's like, do you want that?
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Like, do you really want someone to be obsessed with you?
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Because I'm gonna let you in on the secrets, but don't be mad when you get the adverse effects like I've gotten.
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Also, beware that if someone is like consistently reaching out to you or harassing you, that is like not good.
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I'm not glorifying that.
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But today's video is all about having someone you like be attracted to you on a base level
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and actually be the one who chases you first things first i want to dismantle this idea
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that you should chase someone in general i don't believe someone should chase you nor do i believe
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that you should chase someone i believe the best way is
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when there's mutual attraction to each other matched energy creates more intensity
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but we can't deny the natural push and pull of women
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and men dynamics men are typically the ones that push
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or go towards the woman and are initially attracted in
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and women are the ones that tend to attract
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or pull someone in
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which brings me into my first point detachment okay you need to detach from this idea
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that men validate you as a woman
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if you are watching this video as a woman
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which a lot of my advice is going to happen to be tailored towards women
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because i cannot speak on the male experience or how to flirt as a man.
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Girlies, we need to take men off the pedestal that we place them on.
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Your attention is what gives them power over you.
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I made a video a while back called a crush is a lack of information.
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So when you have a crush on someone, you're initially attracted to whatever idea you have of them.
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But simultaneously, they can be attracted to whatever idea they have of you.
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So when I say detachment, it's not learning to not care about what they say or magically just like erase your feelings out of nowhere.
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It's actually redirecting your energy back into yourself and understanding
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that their lack of attention or presence of attention isn't going to determine your inherent value and worth.
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I hate using the term high value woman because it's
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so associated with things online that i don't want to be associated with
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but like you are a high value woman
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because of what you pour into yourself you nurture yourself you understand yourself
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and this idea that you have to act super confident
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and hot and outspoken is so nonsense
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because not everyone is born to be an extrovert
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or someone who just naturally has a lot of confidence confidence
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is not earned by the way you present yourself confidence is earned through growth
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and actually looking within to dismantle your insecurities
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so the lie we typically fall into is we place men on a pedestal we start to like someone
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and we'll put this idea of them in our minds where
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it's like i need their approval in order to be worthy in order to feel like i'm enough
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and we won't even consciously recognize we're doing this we'll just engage in content
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that takes us out of our worthy energy
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and into what's called our proving energy and
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so the goal isn't to detach from your emotions right you are an emotional person
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and it's okay to have feelings for someone i think it's perfectly fine to validate
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that and acknowledge them
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but what i want you to do is i want you to look in the mirror
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and it might feel really silly at first
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but i want you to affirm to yourself my worth is not determined by anyone
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or anything i am magnetic and i am the woman of his dreams
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and again you can replace whatever pronouns you would like to use
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but affirming to yourself that you are someone's dream partner is something
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that is so validating why because if they won't another one will
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and this goes for literally anything but learning
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that your worth is not based on whether someone is involved with you romantically is something that's
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so so so big but also literally makes you more magnetic
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because at the end of the day you shouldn't want to
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force someone to love you they must choose to love you it's kind of like a butterfly right the second
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that you start chasing it it runs away but the moment
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that you are still with yourself it might come
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and land on you right next we're gonna want to play into their fantasy
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if any of you have read the art of seduction book by robert green he talks about different archetypes
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and how we all have a fantasy that people want to fulfill.
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You will never convince someone to like you until you understand why you like yourself.
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In fact, you can't convince someone of anything.
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If you're not their dream archetype, if you're not what they are attracted to, there's no moving forward and that's just me being completely honest.
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But your energy can be more attractive when you lean into your archetype.
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I actually made a video about the art of seduction archetypes so go check that out if you want after this video.
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But I want to talk about something called the art of genuine interest
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and it really isn't an art it's just learning how to
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conversate with men okay girlies let me know down in the comments
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if you really relate to this but i feel like
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when i'm talking with my girlfriends we can kind of like interrupt each other
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and like play with each other's words and everything but
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when you first start to meet a guy oftentimes people don't
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ask men questions about themselves a lot unless they're like really really attractive men This is
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when you immerse yourself in what this person is interested in.
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One of the best ways to shoot your shot without being
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super direct is allowing them to be in a friend group setting and then asking them directly about their interests.
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See if they engage in the conversation with you and actually want to talk to you.
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Ask follow -up questions about their hobbies.
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Remember details that they've told you before.
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Share related experiences
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or thoughts also don't be afraid to let out a little bit of your silly side
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and actually share jokes
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and a lot of people are scared to share jokes about themselves to their crush
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but the reality is would you actually want that person
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if they didn't understand that part of you
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and yes there is a difference you don't want to go off the deep end
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and say something insensitive
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but being your genuine funny self is what's going to attract people who like you for who you actually are
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that goes back to being unapologetically yourself now i want to say there is a difference between
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interrogation and interest some key signs you want to look out for
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that this person doesn't like you is number one they're short
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if you're texting them they just don't respond to messages
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if you're in person they always try to walk away from you
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or their body language is always turned away from you they never look you in the eyes okay
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if someone doesn't look you in the eyes when they're talking to you and you don't have to stare at someone, right?
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That is a huge sign that they're showing disinterest and that they're actually distracted by something else.
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Don't pretend to love everything they love.
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Don't make them the center of your universe.
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De -center men.
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Now I want to take a second to talk about the de -center men movement
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because this video is actually going to kind of coincide with it.
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I believe it's so important to not allow men to be the center of our lives
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but i also simultaneously believe
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that liking a man isn't inherently pick me we have turned this whole pick me thing upside down
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when a woman wants a man it's turned into this thing
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it's completely not it's okay to want a boyfriend like can we not act like having a relationship
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or wanting male attention is inherently a negative thing it's a bad thing
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if you center your entire life around it you don't do something unless you know
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that you're gonna get attention from men for it.
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But doing little things to impress your crush or flirting a little is entirely innocent.
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Reciprocation is everything when it comes to the de -centering men process.
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Even if you do start talking to this person and it becomes serious, do not suffocate them.
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That's going to bring me into my next point, okay?
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When you are up someone's ass, they will not like you.
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A very common theme in our society is that women will tend to be a little bit more anxiously attached, where men will be more avoidant attached and
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if you don't know your attachment style go ahead
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and click the quiz in the link in my description it's a free quiz it's the best one
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that i have personally found all you have to do is
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like make an account there's a lot of like attachment style quizzes
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that pay like two dollars and i literally hate that
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but it gives you kind of like a grid of where you're at in your attachment style
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and it also talks about things like your parental relationships
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and also your relationships with your friends so i really love
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that but learning about your attachment style can give you a glimpse of how you need to react
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when you're starting to feel insecure.
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Because when you start to feel insecure, that's when those attachment issues are going to start bubbling to the surface.
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Collectively, standards have been lowered.
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One of the main things to remember about decentering men is that you are not made for a man.
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Like, your life is not based on whether this man likes you.
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And I know that sounds very like, duh, but it's literally been conditioned
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that you know we want to get married we want to have a family it's okay to want companionship
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and that's completely valid i feel like it's
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so normalized to put someone on a pedestal
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and then turn the knife on ourselves
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when we feel like we're not doing enough
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and it really goes back to your attachment style as well
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because the second that those traumas start bubbling up Why does it hurt
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so bad when they don't text you back? well
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because of your abandonment wound right you fear
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that this person is going to abandon you and you expect
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that real love is not abandonment so when they show you
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that they don't want to text you all day
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and they're disinterested in you it stings a little bit
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because you became attached to them loving you in the way
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that you desire
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but the way you love yourself is abandonment right now that's why you have this attachment style
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that is anxious and this is something that i'm currently working through because I actually have a fearful avoidant attachment style.
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I do that like push and pull thing
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and it's definitely not the best but what I've learned is
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that I cannot expect someone to love me
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if I don't love myself in a way
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that makes me feel like I'm enough and I'm not saying
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that you always have to be in 100 % love with yourself.
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I do think that there's still ways you can work on yourself
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and also learn about yourself through a relationship
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because the truth is being alone is a lot easier like once you get over this idea
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that you have to have a partner in order to be happy you genuinely are a lot more happy
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when you're alone because of the fact
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that you've built yourself up to this point but then
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when you open up to someone it starts to hurt a little bit
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because the fact that you are learning more about attachment wounds
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that you have not healed
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so what do we do about this right we bring ourselves back to center
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and i want you to write a letter to yourself in the perspective of your future husband, wife, or partner.
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Write that letter and allow yourself to feel the love that that person or that soul is going to give you.
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This is so important because it affirms that the person that is your person is out there.
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When someone is showing you something that you don't want, it can be easy to try to stay and convince someone to love you,
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but when you are convincing someone to love you and accept you, it's because you are trying to accept the parts of yourself that you are subconsciously rejecting.
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I know that was a lot, but Bessie, you needed to hear it in order to understand why you want male validation
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or female validation or whatever type of validation you want.
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We all just want to be loved, god damn it.
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Back to a little bit of a light -hearted stuff
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because I know the shadow work and the actual truth behind why you are obsessing over this person, craving a text back, wanting them to notice you.
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That stuff is hard to get over, but let's talk about the texting game.
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I know it's cheesy to talk about, but it's so important because a lot of people don't understand text etiquette.
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Number one, don't call them out of nowhere if you just met them.
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I think this is obvious.
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I feel like girls be knowing this more than guys do.
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Like, I feel like guys will just call you out of nowhere
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and it's like sir why are you calling me there is
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literally zero reason to be calling me unannounced unless i know you like
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that but no seriously though keep it balanced match their energy
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if they don't text you back in eight hours it doesn't mean you can't respond immediately
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but i would say like don't respond in 0 .2 seconds you know what i mean like
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if anything give it a good like 15 minutes
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if you actually do want to have a conversation i'd say just keep it balance
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because at the end of the day you don't want to come off like you are desperate especially at first
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but if you know the person like that
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and it's chill don't really worry about like the time you respond to someone
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or things like that but also triple texting
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or quadruple texting is a little bit off -putting especially at first match their texting style
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but also be authentic to who you are as well ask
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them about their day see how they text not everyone is a texter as well
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so maybe be like hey we should call sometime soon
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which brings me into number six which is an essential part of it
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which is setting boundaries it's
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so important to know what you want right know what you want from a partner
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and know how you treat yourself so that
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when you spot bad behavior you can remove yourself from
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that situation because you actually don't find who you're meant to be with by staying in situations
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that no longer serve you be very clear about your intentions even
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if you fear that they're not clear about their intentions
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and i say that not to be outright um but
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when a conversation is necessary to be had bringing something up in a respectful manner is completely okay for example
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if you guys end up kissing having a conversation maybe a
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little bit down the line of okay what are you interested in
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if you were to get in a relationship where are you at right now
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and believing them believing them when they say i don't want anything serious right now
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because what they mean is I don't want anything serious with you
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and that doesn't mean you have to cut them off
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or anything but keep them at arm's length
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because at the end of the day having standards
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and knowing what you do and don't want can save you from low quality experiences what's
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that quote again high standards protect you from low quality experiences
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there you go it's okay to take things slow
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if a man is like pressuring you and making you feel bad
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because you're not doing something that he wants you to do babe that's a manipulator like
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that is someone who doesn't have your best interest in mind
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when it comes to genuine flirting i believe
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that the best type of flirting is when you meet someone
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and they are reciprocating of your energy and what
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that looks like is laughing at your jokes light physical touch
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moderate eye contact you get butterflies around them in the modern
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day it's a lot more complicated than it used to be
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to actually find someone who you resonate with starting things off
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on a friendship is not a bad idea at all
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and being able to see someone
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and take their actions for what they actually are is so
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so important move with discernment don't assume
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that since someone is showing you all these things at first
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that that's how they're going to be like in a relationship Pay more attention to the red flags than the green flags.
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If the red flags are non -negotiables that you will not tolerate, stand on that and believe it.
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And that also comes with time and experience too.
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I hope you found this video useful because these are all things and ways that I'm getting my shit together.
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Talking about getting your shit together, you made it to the end of the video, which means you want to get into my free support group.
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It's called the Get Your Shit Together community.
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It's a free support group filled with young adults who are all trying to get our shit together
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and we are almost to 500 members we might actually be
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at 500 members by the time this posts i appreciate every
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single one of you i'm also doing a 21 day challenge right now each day comes with a video
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and a worksheet days zero through seven are free
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and then days eight through 21 are 21 dollars you can
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also get solely the worksheets as well i put a lot of time into
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that so if you want to support the channel go over there
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and buy the 21 day challenge
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if you're watching this far into the video be sure you like this video subscribe
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and comment down below if you have ever centered men in your life
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and what that resulted in
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because i feel like a lot of us have experiences where we've been pick me's before
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and that's not like a negative thing
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but it's something we kind of had to learn
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so just let me know your experience with that down in the comments
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but yeah you guys with
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that being said check out my social medias be sure to like this video subscribe
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and i'll see you guys next week yeah i can hear
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you i'm in the middle of recording the video can i call you back in like 15 yeah you could
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but i wanted to talk to you yeah that's really sweet you're obsessed with me i am
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Почему этот клип идеально подходит для практики разговорного английского?
Этот видеоматериал — отличный инструмент для улучшения произношения английского и тренировки разговорной речи. Диалог естественный, близкий к повседневной коммуникации, с яркими эмоциями и современной лексикой. Он содержит разнообразные структуры предложений: от коротких фраз до более сложных конструкций, что помогает освоить ритм и интонацию живой речи. Кроме того, тема "взаимоотношения" близка каждому, что мотивирует погрузиться в материал и запомнить новые выражения.
Анализ ключевых фраз: почему они звучат естественно?
- "people want what they can't have" — простая, но ёмкая фраза, которая используется в повседневной речи. Её сила в контрасте "want" и "can't have", что делает её запоминающейся. Для правильного произношения обратите внимание на редукцию "can't have" (['kɑːnt hæv] в американском варианте).
- "you don't have to change your entire personality" — конструкция "don't have to" передаёт совет без навязывания, что важно в разговорной речи. Фраза звучит естественно, потому что она отражает реальную мысль: не нужно искать себе замену. Практикуйте интонацию, подчёркивающую уверенность в своих словах.
- "matched energy creates more intensity" — выражение "matched energy" (совпадающая энергия) популярно в современной лексике о отношениях. Сложность здесь в правильном ударении на "intensity" (интенсивность). Эта фраза показывает, как можно передать абстрактные идеи простыми словами.
Рутина практики: shadowspeak для быстрого прогресса
Для эффективной тренировки используйте метод shadowspeak (или shadow speak). Вот простой план: 1. Слушайте фрагмент видео (5-10 секунд) и повторяйте его сразу же, копируя интонацию, ритм и произношение. 2. Записывайте себя на диктофон. Сравните запись с оригиналом: обратите внимание на разницу в ударениях и паузах. 3. Повторяйте каждый фрагмент до тех пор, пока ваша речь не будет максимально близка к естественной. 4. После тренировки перескажите содержание видео своими словами — это поможет закрепить лексику и структуру предложений. Такая рутина поможет не только улучшить произношение английского, но и научиться говорить уверенно, как.native speaker.
Грамматика в этом видео
Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:
| Конструкция | В видео |
|---|---|
| Условные предложения if + предложение, will/would + глагол — условие и его результат | if they won't another one will |
| Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас | have reached · They've texted · I've gotten |
| Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает | be obsessed · be attracted · be tailored |
| Придаточные определительные who / which + предложение — уточнение о человеке или предмете | anyone who comes · one who chases · someone who just |
Что такое техника Shadowing?
Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.