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I've had a really good time tonight.

Mm-hmm.

You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.

Mm-hmm.

Mm, me neither.

I-I've had a really good time too, you know.

Mm.

Are you gonna eat that bread?

Oh, I-I just like the smell.

Mm.

You make me laugh.

Mm-hmm.

Would you like to move over to the couch?

Mm-hmm.

Maybe I'll just turn down the lights a little?

How about all the way?

Okay.

Wow, cool poster.

Or should I say, groovy poster.

So, uh, where were we? Are those your teeth?

Oh, you can see them, huh?

Yes, they're insanely white.

I did that for you.

What's the matter with you?

What's the matter with me?

You've got a black light.

It's 1999.

Oh, my God.

The pages are stuck together.

Chandler!

Oh, my God.

She made half an English trifle and...

half a shepherd's pie.

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Now, this is so good that I'm gonna go enjoy it on the balcony.

So I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert.

I've gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is for Monica's room.

I'll help you dial.

I'm gonna go into the bathroom

so I can look at it in the mirror as I eat it as I eat it.

Okay, now what was that all about?

Is it, does it not taste good?

Let me try it.

No, no, no, no. All gone. So good.

Maybe Chandler has some left.

It tastes like feet.

I like it. Are you kidding?

What's not to like?

Custard?

Good.

Jam?

Good.

Meat?

Good.

So a bird just grabbed it and then...

And then tried to fly away with it and...

And then just dropped it on the street?

Yes, but if it's any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.

Bye.

Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think that's really cool.

Yeah, Rach, I think you're handling that really well.

Handling it?

What do you mean handling it?

There's nothing to handle.

You know, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasn't for me and Joshua.

You know, they're not gonna get married anyway.

What?

Come on.

They rushed into this thing so fast, it's ridiculous.

I mean, they're gonna be engaged for, like, what, a year?

And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realize what they've done, and they're gonna call the whole thing off.

I'm telling you, you're gonna be dancing at my wedding before you're dancing at theirs.

Yeah, well, I don't dance at weddings.

Why not?

Because weddings are a great place to meet women.

And when I dance, I look like this.

Hey, man.

Hey.

So, what are you guys doing four weeks from today?

Nothing.

I am...

free.

Great, because Emily and I are getting married in a month.

What?

Yep.

In a month?

Yeah.

You mean 30 days?

Yeah. From now?

Yeah.

That's great.

Yeah, it is, Rachel.

She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital.

Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel?

What?

100

When was this?

101

1987, the weekend you guys visited me at school.

102

Oh, my God, that's wild.

103

Yeah, but it was like a million years ago, so it doesn't matter.

104

Well, it matters to me.

105

Why?

106

Because the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.

107

You kissed her that night, too?

108

Two guys in one night?

109

Oh, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed.

110

Seriously, where did this happen?

111

Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right.

112

She was lying on my bed, all buried in people's coats.

113

Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, but it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips.

114

I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back.

115

It was only for a second, but it was amazing.

116

And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.

117

Wait, what bed did you say she was on?

118

Mine.

119

I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed.

120

No, she was definitely on my bed.

121

Why would I kiss a girl and then put her on your bed?

122

Well, then who was on my bed?

123

Oh, oh, oh!

124

No, no, no!

125

You were under the pile of coats?

126

I was the pile of coats.

127

Oh my God!

128

You were my midnight mystery kisser!

129

You were my first kiss with Rachel?

130

You were my first kiss ever!

131

What did I marry into?

132

We're gonna split it.

133

You take half and I take half.

134

Well, that's not fair.

135

You've already had some.

136

We've already had some.

137

Oh, then, you know what?

138

I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.

139

What do we use to split it?

140

Okay.

141

All right.

142

Pick a half.

143

Okay.

144

Well, this side looks bigger.

145

Uh, there's more crust on this side.

146

Yeah. So...

147

Maybe if I measure...

148

Oh, for God's sake, just pick a piece.

149

All right, pick that.

150

So the smaller piece.

151

Okay, there you go.

152

Enjoy your half, my friend, but that is it.

153

No sharing, no switching, and don't come crying to me if you eat your piece too fast.

154

Ah!

155

Oh!

156

Oh!

157

All right, you gonna give me some of your piece?

158

Oh, no, no. No switching, no sharing, and don't come crying to me.

159

I may just sit here and have my cake all day.

160

Just sit here in the hallway and eat my There's a piece of doesn't have floor on it stick to your side

161

All right, what are we having?

162

You took care of everything.

163

Thanks a lot, co-host.

164

What?

165

Take care of everything?

166

There's plenty of things for you to do.

167

Uh-huh, like what?

168

Cups.

169

Cups?

170

You're giving me cups? And ice?

171

Cups and ice?

172

Oh, I get to be in charge of cups and ice?

173

All right.

174

Fine, okay, I will be in charge of cups and ice.

175

Nice.

176

Wait a minute, I can get ice at the restaurant.

177

I got it, mine!

178

Hey, check it out.

179

A cup hat, a cup banner, a cup chandelier, and the thing that started it all, the cup.

180

Great job with the cups, Feebs.

181

Why don't you just go out with it?

182

And did you notice the ice?

183

Look, we have it all.

184

We have crushed, cubed, and dried, watched.

185

Ah.

186

Mystical.

187

Oh.

188

I don't want to...

189

No one's eating my Tuscan finger food because they're all filling up on Phoebe's snow cones.

190

There are snow cones?

191

Snow cones?

192

You know, go, go.

193

Thank you, thank you.

194

My god, these pants, I'm burning up!

195

Oh, come on, she wants to snuggle now?

196

What, is she trying to kill me?

197

It's like a volcano in here! Are you hot?

198

No. Okay, must just be me then.

199

That was just the pants on the couch.

200

Um, hey, do you mind if I use your bathroom?

201

Oh, go ahead.

202

Thanks.

203

Oh.

204

Oh.

205

Oh.

206

Oh.

207

Hey, my favorite part's coming up.

208

Okay.

209

Oh my God!

210

Hello?

211

Joey, it's Ross.

212

I need some help.

213

Uh, Chandler's not here.

214

Well, you can help me.

215

Okay.

216

Listen, I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom.

217

Nice.

218

No, I got really hot in my leather pants, so I took them off, but they must have shrunk from the sweat or something,

219

or my legs expanded from the heat.

220

But I can't get them back on, Joey.

221

I can't.

222

Oh, that is quite a situation.

223

Uh, do you see any, like, powder?

224

What's...powder, yeah, yeah, I have powder.

225

Good, good, okay.

226

Sprinkle some of that on your legs.

227

It'll absorb some of the moisture, and then you can get your pants back on.

228

Yeah, hold on.

229

You're not coming on, man.

230

Um, you see any, uh, oh, Vaseline.

231

Oh, I...

232

I see lotion.

233

I have lotion.

234

Will that work?

235

Yeah, sure.

236

Throw some of that on there.

237

Hold on.

238

Uh...

239

Ross, you okay?

240

There's still, there's still not coming on, man, and the lotion and the powder have made a paste.

241

Really?

242

Uh, what color is it?

243

What difference does that make?

244

Well, I'm just, if the paste matches the pants, you can make yourself a pair of paste pants and you won't have the difference.

245

Joey, do you have a minute?

246

Dude, what am I...

247

Rachel's here, so good luck, man.

248

Let me know how it works out.

249

Oh, Joey, I have such a problem.

250

Well, your timing couldn't be better.

251

I am putting out fires all over the place today.

252

Ross, um, you've been in there for a long time.

253

I'm starting to get kind of freaked out.

254

All right, I'm coming out.

255

Hey, can you turn the lights off?

256

No, let's just leave the lights on.

257

Oh, my fault.

258

I had a problem.

259

I took the quiz, and it turns out I do put career before men.

260

Get up.

261

What?

262

Near my seat.

263

How is this your seat?

264

Because I was sitting there.

265

But then you left.

266

Well, it's not like I went to Spain.

267

I went to the bathroom.

268

You knew I was coming back.

269

What's the big deal?

270

Sit somewhere else.

271

The big deal is I was sitting there last, so it's my seat.

272

Well, actually, the last place you were sitting was in there, so...

273

You guys, you know what?

274

You know what?

275

It doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vein in my head pops, so...

276

All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing really quickly.

277

It's not a big deal.

278

Get up!

279

All right, fine.

280

You know what?

281

We'll both sit in the chair.

282

Fine with me.

283

I am so comfortable.

284

Me too.

285

In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.

286

All right.

287

Okay, look, we have 19 minutes, okay?

288

Chandler, I want you to go and change, okay?

289

And then when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair, okay?

290

Okay.

291

All right, fine.

292

I'm going.

293

When I get back, it's chair city.

294

And I'm the guy who's sitting in a chair.

295

All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed.

296

I, in turn, have noticed that you are not.

297

So, in the words of A.A.

298

Milne, get out of my chair, dill hole.

299

Okay.

300

What are you doing?

301

Well, you said I had to give you the chair.

302

You didn't see anything about the cushions.

303

The cushions are the essence of the chair.

304

That's right.

305

I'm taking the essence.

306

Oh, he'll be back.

307

Oh, there's nobody in the room.

308

Where's my underwear?

309

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

310

Come on, come on, what?

311

You took his underwear?

312

He took my essence.

313

Okay, hold on.

314

Joey, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?

315

Because I'm not wearing any underwear now.

316

Okay, um, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?

317

It's a rented tux, okay?

318

Not gonna go commando in another man's fatigue.

319

Well, then it looks like somebody's gonna have to give somebody back his cushions.

320

Okay.

321

You hide my clothes?

322

I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you.

323

What?

324

What are you...

325

What, are you gonna show me my clothes?

326

Hey, opposite... is opposite.

327

He's got nothing!

328

Okay, buddy boy, here it is.

329

You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you want.

330

Oh my God!

331

That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!

332

Look at me!

333

I'm Chandler!

334

Could I be wearing any more clothes?

335

Maybe if I wasn't going commando...

336

I'll tell you, it's hot with all this stuff on.

337

I better not do any, I don't know, lunges.

338

I'm gonna stop you right there, Glenda.

339

Does it look like this is my first time?

340

Now I want four twos, and I want them all on my back.

341

Okay.

342

Wait a minute.

343

There's two sets of nozzles.

344

Which one is it?

345

Which, which, which, which one is it?

346

Oh, son of a bitch!

347

Dude, it's Chandler.

348

Let me in.

349

Go away.

350

I don't want to see anybody.

351

I know.

352

I went to the tanning place, Same thing happened to me.

353

You have to let me in.

354

Really? Did you count Mississipally?

355

You're not tan?

356

No. I just had to get a picture of this.

357

I'll see you later.

358

Pass the cheese, please.

359

My god, you can't even look at me, can you?

360

No. Hey, it's Phoebe!

361

We can talk to Phoebe!

362

No, I'm too depressed to talk.

363

I'll give you $1,000 to talk to us.

364

Hey, you guys, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?

365

No!

366

All right, that's it, you guys.

367

What happened out there?

368

What?

369

We took a walk.

370

Nothing happened.

371

I came back, but nothing all over me.

372

Come on, what happened?

373

Joey.

374

All right.

375

No!

376

Joey, we swore we'd never tell.

377

They'll never understand.

378

We have to say something.

379

We have to get it out.

380

It's eating me alive.

381

Monica got stung by a jellyfish.

382

All right.

383

All right.

384

I got stung.

385

Stung bad.

386

I couldn't stand.

387

I...

388

I couldn't walk.

389

We were two miles from the house.

390

We were scared and alone.

391

We didn't think we could make it.

392

I was in too much pain.

393

And I was tired from digging the huge hole.

394

And then Joey remembered something.

395

I'd seen this thing on the Discovery Channel.

396

Wait a minute.

397

I saw that on the Discovery Channel.

398

Yeah, about jellyfish and how if you...

399

Ew.

400

You peed on yourself?

401

Ew.

402

You can't say that.

403

You don't know.

404

I mean, I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain.

405

Anyway, I tried, but I couldn't bend that way. So?

406

No!

407

That's right, I stepped up.

408

She's my friend, and she needed help.

409

If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you.

410

Only, uh, I couldn't.

411

I got the stage fright.

412

I wanted to help, but there was just too much pressure, so, so I, uh, I turned to Chandler.

413

Woo-hoo!

414

Joy kept screaming at me, do it now, do it, do it, do it now!

415

Sometimes late at night I can still hear the screaming.

416

That's because sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.

417

I'm trying my shoes, so you go ahead.

418

I'll catch up.

419

Okay, okay.

420

Come on!

421

Let's start running!

422

Let's go!

423

You guys, I'm telling you, when she runs, she looks like a cross between Kermit the Frog and the six million dollar man.

424

Monica had such a crush on him that she used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed.

425

Oh, I used to do that too.

426

Did you also have his album, It's Not Easy Being Green?

427

Oh, my.

428

So, Phoebe runs weird, huh?

429

Yeah, yeah, you know what?

430

And I know she's gonna wanna run again.

431

I just don't know how to get out of it.

432

I mean, I live with her.

433

Why don't you just be straight with her?

434

Tell her the truth.

435

You're right.

436

You're right.

437

I should just tell her the truth.

438

Hey.

439

Hey.

440

Hey.

441

Hey, Phoebe, Monica tripped me.

442

I don't think I can ever run again.

443

Ever.

444

Why?

445

Why would you do that?

446

I don't know.

447

Rachel, I'm sorry that I hurt your ankles.

448

Ankle?

449

We'll see.

450

Hi!

451

Oh, yeah, it's me.

452

I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out.

453

You lied so you could run by yourself.

454

No, no, no, Phoebe, no, I was, no, you know what?

455

I was, I was actually just checking to see if I could run, and I can.

456

Please, Rachel, I am not an idiot.

457

No, wait, Phoebe.

458

Hey, Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?

459

Sure.

460

Okay, um, I...

461

Phoebe, look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, okay?

462

I handled the situation horribly, and I should not have lied to you.

463

So what should you have done?

464

Well, I should have told you the truth.

465

Uh-huh, which is?

466

Well, you know, the reason that I didn't want to go running with you is because,

467

um, well, you know, the way that you run is just a little... So?

468

Well, it's embarrassing.

469

People were looking at us like we were crazy.

470

Why do you care?

471

Because they're people.

472

But people that you don't know and will never see again.

473

Yes, but still they are people with eyes.

474

Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss. But oh, OK.

475

No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you.

476

Yeah, OK.

477

You're uptight.

478

Well, I am not uptight.

479

Listen, I am not uptight, man.

480

That's okay, Rachel.

481

I'm not judging you.

482

That's just who you are.

483

Me, I'm more free.

484

You know, I run like I did when I was a kid.

485

Because that's the only way it's fun.

486

You know?

487

I mean, didn't you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off?

488

You know, like when you were, like, running toward the swings or running away from Satan?

489

The neighbor's dog.

490

Shh.

491

Shh.

492

Shh.

493

Hey!

494

Hey!

495

Hey!

496

Hey!

497

Oh, please.

498

I'm so sorry.

499

You were right.

500

This feels great.

501

See?

502

And you don't care if people are staring.

503

It's just for a second, because then you're gone.

504

You're gone?

505

I mean, it's amazing, please.

506

I feel so free and so graceful.

507

Ah!

508

Hey, look out for the horse.

509

We should all get dressed up and go to have champagne at the plaza.

510

Oh, OK.

511

Yeah.

512

But I can't stay too long.

513

I've got to get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow, and I've got to look good.

514

I'm supposed to be playing a 19-year-old.

515

What so when you said get up early did you mean 1986?

516

That's not think I look 19 19 we thought you said 90 Sup.

517

Sup, dude.

518

Take whatever you want.

519

Just please don't hurt me.

520

So you play a little PlayStation, huh?

521

That's whack.

522

PlayStation.. is whack.

523

Sup with the whack PlayStation sup with the WAC PlayStation Sop.

524

Huh?

525

Come on, am I 19 or what?

526

Yes.

527

On a scale from one to ten, ten being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.

528

Come on, man, really.

529

How old?

530

Young.

531

You're a man-child.

532

Okay?

533

Now go get changed, because everybody's ready, and please, oh, please, keep my underwear.

534

No, thanks.

535

Okay.

536

Now, I can pass for 19, right?

537

Yes, you can pass for 19.

538

Really?

539

Yes.

540

Seriously.

541

Seriously?

542

Seriously, no. Okay?

543

You can play your own age, which is 31.

544

I'm 30.

545

Joey, you are not.

546

You're 31.

547

Oh, crap.

548

Live in Times Square, we're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here at times square it gets bigger

549

and better every year little kids and then the peacock bit me please kiss me at midnight

550

you seen sandy oh i don't know how to tell you this

551

but uh she's in monica's bedroom getting it on with max

552

that scientist geek oh look at that i didn't know how to tell you Everybody, the ball is dripping.

553

What?

554

The ball is dripping!

555

In 20 seconds, it'll be midnight.

556

And the moment of joy is upon us.

557

Looks like that nose-date-pack thing worked out.

558

Everybody looks so happy.

559

I hate that.

560

Not everybody's happy.

561

Hey, Bobby!

562

One, happy new year!

563

You know, I thought I'd throw this out here.

564

I'm no math whiz, but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here.

565

I don't feel like kissing anyone.

566

I can't kiss anyone.

567

So I'm kissing everyone?

568

No, no, no. You can't kiss Ross.

569

That's your brother.

570

Perfect.

571

So now everybody's gonna kiss but me.

572

All right, somebody kiss me.

573

Somebody kiss me.

574

It's midnight.

575

Somebody kiss me.

576

It's midnight.

577

It's one time.

578

I love you.

579

Pete, you know what I'm thinking?

580

Oh, OK.

581

Hal, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?

582

No, although now that's what I'm thinking.

583

All right, so what were you thinking?

584

Well, I was thinking that you gave the guy such great haircuts, I thought maybe you'd like to do mine.

585

Oh, no. Why not?

586

Because I'm just...

587

I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.

588

No, you're not.

589

I know I'm not, but you are.

590

I was trying to spare your feelings.

591

You know, it's funny, the last time Paula was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.

592

All right.

593

Okay.

594

But, but, you have to promise that you will not be all, like, controlly and bossy and all, you know, Monica about it.

595

I promise.

596

All right, let's see.

597

Now, some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't.

598

But I promise none of you will feel a thing.

599

All right, that's it.

600

I quit.

601

What?

602

I didn't say anything.

603

Yeah, but this isn't the face of a person who trusts a person, okay?

604

This is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.

605

I'm sorry.

606

Sorry, Phoebe.

607

It's just, well, just a little shorter than what we had discussed.

608

Would you relax?

609

I know what I am doing.

610

This is how he wears it.

611

How who wears it?

612

Demi Moore.

613

Demi Moore is not a he.

614

Well, he was a he in Arthur and in Den.

615

That's Dudley Moore.

616

I said I wanted it like Demi Moore.

617

Oh.

618

Oh!

619

Oh, my God!

620

Oh, my God!

621

Oh, my God, I'm sorry!

622

I'm sorry!

623

I'm sorry!

624

Which one is Demi Moore?

625

She's the actress that was in Disclosure, in Decent Proposal, Ghost!

626

Oh, oh, she's got gorgeous hair.

627

Oh, my God!

628

Oh, my God!

629

How is she?

630

It's too soon to tell.

631

She's resting, which is a good sign.

632

How's the hair?

633

I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross.

634

It doesn't look good.

635

I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.

636

Well, can we see you?

637

Your hair looks too good.

638

I think it would upset her.

639

Ross, why don't you come on in?

640

Yeah.

641

Hi.

642

Hi.

643

So, which one of your lucky boys is Chandler?

644

Uh, that's me.

645

That's me.

646

Joey Tribbiani.

647

Big fan.

648

So, is that a bedroom?

649

Yeah, yeah, right over there.

650

All right, whenever you're ready. That was weird.

651

Why would she go in the bedroom?

652

I'm waiting. So she's a...

653

Yep, that's one naked hooker.

654

So, tonight's the night of the big bachelor party?

655

Yeah, hey, thanks for giving me that girl's number.

656

No problem.

657

So, who's the party for?

658

My husband.

659

You hired your husband a hooker?

660

She's a stripper.

661

No, she's a hooker.

662

Is that what they call strippers sometimes?

663

When they're hookers.

664

Oh, my God, Stu!

665

I can't believe you did this!

666

Are you absolutely sure she's a hooker?

667

It's either that or she's just the best, most expensive date I ever had.

668

All right, all right.

669

Maybe you should just ask her to leave.

670

Why me?

671

Hey, it's your bachelor part.

672

Which is why you should do it.

673

I don't want to.

674

You do it.

675

You do it.

676

You do it.

677

All right, rock, paper, scissor for who has to tell the whore to leave.

678

What?

679

I miss this.

680

I don't think we've actually done this before.

681

No, no, no. No, I miss hanging out with you.

682

Well, we still hang out.

683

Not like we used to.

684

Remember, you and me used to be inseparable.

685

Now it's like things are different.

686

Well, you know, things are different.

687

I'm married now.

688

Yeah, sure.

689

And hey, don't get me wrong.

690

I am so happy for you guys.

691

But I just...

692

I miss hanging out.

693

Just.. just us.

694

You know?

695

Yeah, I miss that too.

696

I'll tell you what.

697

For now and when we'll make time to hang out with each other.

698

You got it.

699

Come here.

700

Oh, God.

701

Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys.

702

She's a hooker!

703

She's a hooker!

704

She's a...

705

Hi.

706

We spoke on the phone?

707

What?

708

Nothing, nothing.

709

Just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Musburger.

710

Check it out.

711

Giants, Cowboys.

712

You're watching a football game at a funeral?

713

No, it's the pregame.

714

I'm gonna watch it at the reception.

715

You are a frightening, frightening man.

716

Oh, no!

717

My new Paolo shoes.

718

Oh, I hope they're not ruined.

719

You okay?

720

God, what a great day.

721

What?

722

Weather-wise.

723

I know, you...

724

The air, the trees.

725

Even though Nana's gone, there's something almost, uh, I don't know, almost like...

726

Oh!

727

What are you doing?

728

I'm fine.

729

I'm fine.

730

Just, just having my worst fear realized, but... And done.

731

Oh, my God.

732

I didn't feel a thing.

733

Hey, are you still looking for a job?

734

Because you could tweeze circles around that sadistic bitch at the salon.

735

Thanks.

736

You want to see what it looks like?

737

Yeah, yeah.

738

Hey!

739

They totally match.

740

They look great.

741

You look great.

742

How you doing?

743

Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good.

744

I was a little bit worried that I was, uh, uncovering a birthmark right about there, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.

745

Hmm.

746

Oh, hey, Chandler, thank you so much.

747

No problem.

748

Listen, uh, that was a pretty girly hour we just spent.

749

We should probably do something manly to make up for it.

750

Yeah.

751

Cool my eyelash.

752

Yeah.

753

We hope you enjoyed your stay.

754

Oh, we did.

755

And you still have all your lamps.

756

I didn't factor in the room tax.

757

Oh, dude, don't worry about it.

758

I found an unattended maid's car.

759

We're way ahead of the game.

760

Oh, my God.

761

What?

762

There's something new in the bowl.

763

Look, we have enough.

764

Just walk away.

765

No, but I want the pine cones.

766

There's a forest right outside.

767

It's not the same.

768

Okay, go quick.

769

Oh, go!

770

Thank you for a delightful stay.

771

My maple candy!

772

So, I just talked to one of the Duel writers today and...

773

What is Duel?

774

Days of Our Lives.

775

Anyway, you're not gonna believe it.

776

My character is coming out of his coma.

777

Oh, yeah!

778

And not only that, I'm getting a new brain.

779

So great things are happening at work and in your personal life.

780

Wait, what do you mean you're getting a new brain?

781

Well, they're killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies, her brain is being transplanted into my body.

782

What?

783

A brain transplant?

784

It's ridiculous.

785

Oh, I think it's ridiculous that you haven't had sex in three and a half months.

786

It's winter.

787

There are fewer people on the street.

788

Who are they killing off?

789

Cecilia Monroe.

790

She plays Jessica Lockhart.

791

No!

792

No!

793

She is so good at throwing drinks in people's faces.

794

I mean, I don't think I've ever seen her finish a beverage.

795

And the way she slaps people all the time.

796

Wouldn't you love to do that just once?

797

Don't do it.

798

Man, she's been on the show forever.

799

It's gonna be really hard to fill her shoes.

800

Yeah, yeah, well, help me out here.

801

When you, when you come out of the brain transplant, you are going to be her?

802

Yes, but in Drake Remore's body.

803

Why is it so hard for you to get?

804

I thought you were a scientist.

805

Did you see Monica?

806

Actually, I think she went to the salon.

807

Oh, yeah.

808

Oh, she went to the salon?

809

All right.

810

Check it out!

811

Whose date just got better?

812

Chandler!

813

Hey!

814

Ah!

815

What do you think?

816

I think...

817

I think I can see your scalp.

818

Don't you just love it?

819

Yeah, yeah, you got shellfish in your head.

820

It's, uh, something.

821

You go, girlfriend.

822

You never said that in your life, have you?

823

Not once.

824

I thought so.

825

Oh, and listen to this.

826

What do you know?

827

It's a treat for the eyes and the ears.

828

Oh, I can't wait for everyone at work to see these.

829

Ow!

830

You go back to work tomorrow night, right?

831

Yeah.

832

So if you want people to see them, then by definition, you're not having them taken out, say, at the break of dawn?

833

Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this.

834

You like that, right?

835

Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun!

836

What are you singing?

837

It's Valero from Tin.

838

It's Ride of the Valkyries from Apocalypse Now.

839

See, here's the thing.

840

The cornrows were really a solution to your frizzy hair problem.

841

And now that we're home, you don't have that problem anymore.

842

So if you think about it, I hate them.

843

What?

844

You said you liked them. Did I?

845

Let's refresh.

846

I believe what I said was that I could see your scalp.

847

Well, fine, so you don't like them.

848

Everybody else does.

849

Again, let's journey back.

850

As I recall, what Rachel said was she had never noticed the shape of your skull before. And Joey...

851

Well, Joey didn't realize it was anything different.

852

You know what?

853

I don't care.

854

I like it like this, and I'm gonna keep it.

855

You're just jealous because your hair can't do this.

856

Get yourself in the tooth?

857

And the eyes!

858

Honey, you've been in there for a long time.

859

Is everything okay?

860

Not really.

861

I have a problem.

862

Really?

863

What happened?

864

Well, I was dancing around and singing No Woman No Cry.

865

And, uh, I got stuck.

866

You can't move at all?

867

Oh, I can move.

868

If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the cornrows?

869

I guess so.

870

Some of these look a little frayed.

871

Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free.

872

You got to pick a pocket or two,

873

Boys, you've got to pick a pocketbook too.

874

Lovely.

875

Just lovely.

876

Really?

877

Thanks.

878

Listen, Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.

879

Excellent.

880

I'll be there.

881

Okay.

882

And listen, don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.

883

Uh-huh.

884

My, uh, my agent said that it wasn't a dancing part.

885

Oh, Joey, all the roles gotta dance a little.

886

But believe me, with your dance background, it'll be a piece of cake.

887

Three years of modern dance with Twyla Tharp.

888

Five years with the American Ballet Theater.

889

Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay?

890

I wasn't one of the Zoom kids, either.

891

Can you, like, dance at all?

892

Yeah, I can dance, you know.

893

Oh, no, no, no, no. What is that?

894

Sure, it looks stupid now.

895

There's no music playing.

896

Uh, Joey?

897

Joey Tribbiani?

898

Listen, Joey, I got a problem.

899

I just got a call from my dance captain.

900

He's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island.

901

So does that mean the audition's off?

902

Listen, Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and teach them the combination.

903

What?

904

Oh Joey come on it's easy you know it's hand hand

905

head head up pot of a ray a bit turn here ronda Jean slide step step and yes

906

it says stepity step and jazz hands have fun bye All right, let's do it.

907

No, no, no. What was that?

908

I know.

909

It's the best I could get out of them.

910

Well, people.

911

People, people, people.

912

Let's try it again.

913

And this time, let's everybody watch Joey.

914

Show them how it's done.

915

Count it off, Black.

916

Hey, Ross, didn't you say that there was an elevator in here?

917

Uh, yes, I did, but there isn't.

918

Okay, here we go.

919

Okay.

920

Go left.

921

Left.

922

Left.

923

You know what?

924

There's no more left left.

925

Okay, you know, uh, lift it.

926

Straight up over your head.

927

Straight up over your head.

928

You can do it.

929

You can do it.

930

Oh.

931

Okay.

932

Oh.

933

You got it?

934

Yeah.

935

Oh, good, good, good.

936

Oh, oh.

937

Yeah, you got it, right?

938

You got it, right?

939

You got it.

940

Woo!

941

Any chance you think the couch looks good there?

942

Hey, Joe.

943

What's up?

944

Bad news.

945

I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses, and they weren't interested.

946

Oh.

947

Sorry, man.

948

But, uh, you watched the tape?

949

Yeah, I-I-I liked it.

950

But, uh, my bosses didn't go for it.

951

Stupid sons of bitches!

952

You didn't watch the tape.

953

What?

954

Of course I did.

955

Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me?

956

I'm not lying to you.

957

I watched it.

958

Well, you lied again.

959

I watched it.

960

Keep going, Pinocchio.

961

I did.

962

No, you didn't.

963

I'm telling you, I watched the tape.

964

Did you watch the tape?

965

No. I can't believe Joey.

966

I hate being called a liar.

967

But you are a liar.

968

What did I just say?

969

You still here?

970

Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt.

971

I am insulted.

972

When I tell somebody I did something.

973

Okay, hold on.

974

Let me just stop you right there, okay?

975

First, you lied, right?

976

Then, you lied about lying, okay?

977

Then, you lied about lying about lying, okay?

978

So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about.. about lying stop lying are you

979

so sure I didn't watch this tape you know what you want to know why oh this is going well

980

here's I know you didn't watch the tape okay

981

if you had seen what was on this tape believe me

982

you would have some comments all right now remember I got paid a lot of money for this

983

and it only aired in Japan Ichiban!

984

Ichiban, lipstick for men.

985

Ichiban, lipstick for men.

986

Saiko!

987

And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape!

988

He really is a chameleon.

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Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку

В этом видео 988 предложений и 5679 слов для шедоуинга. Речь длится 50:09. Говорящий держит ровный темп — около 113 слов в минуту, удобный для шедоуинга. 82% слов входят в 3000 самых частых слов английского языка; остальные стоит разобрать перед занятием.

Ключевая лексика этого видео

15 слов из видео, которые стоит выучить, с произношением и значением:

Слово	Произношение	Значение
underwear существительное	/ˈʌndɚˌwɛɹ/	ни́жнее бельё, испо́днее
pants существительное	/pænts/	брю́ки, штаны́
midnight существительное	/ˈmɪd(ˌ)naɪt/	по́лночь
powder существительное	/ˈpaʊ.dɚ/	порошо́к, пу́дра
cone существительное	/ˈkoʊn/	ко́нус, кони́ческая пове́рхность
bedroom существительное	/ˈbɛdˌɹum/	спа́льня
ridiculous прилагательное	/ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/	неле́пый
coat существительное	/ˈkoʊ̯t/	пальто́, пиджа́к
poster существительное	/ˈpoʊstɚ/	по́стер, афи́ша
couch существительное	/ˈkaʊ̯t͡ʃ/	дива́н, куше́тка
essence существительное	/ˈɛsəns/	су́щность, суть
pasta существительное	/ˈpɑ.stə/	макаро́ны, макаро́нные изде́лия
salon существительное	/ˈsælɒn/	сало́н, гости́ная
whoa	/woʊ/	тпру, пру
sting глагол	/ˈstɪŋ/	причиня́ть боль, чу́вствовать боль

Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите

Слово	Произношение	Значение
get up глагол		поднима́ться, подня́ться
come back глагол		возвраща́ться, возврати́ться
go ahead глагол	/ˌɡoʊ əˈhɛd/	дава́й, приступа́йте
take out глагол		вынима́ть, вы́нуть
come out глагол	/ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/	выходи́ть, вы́йти
come up глагол		поднима́ться, подня́ться
dress up глагол		наряжаться
find out глагол		узнава́ть, узна́ть

Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание

Говорящий использует 233 сокращённых и редуцированных форм, например I'm, don't, gonna. Произносите их коротко, так, как слышите.

Звуки «th»: leather /ˈlɛðɚ/, mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/, tooth /tuθ/, theirs /ðɛɚz/, birthmark /ˈbɝθˌmɑɹk/
Звуки «sh» и «zh»: cushion /ˈkʊʃən/, crush /kɹʌʃ/, audition /ɑˈdɪʃən/, rush /ɹʌʃ/, reception /ɹɪˈsɛp.ʃn̩/
Длинные слова — следите за ударением: ridiculous /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, accidentally /ˌæk.sɪˈdɛnt(ə)li/, mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/, unbelievable /ˌʌnbɪˈliːvəbl̩/

Как заниматься с этим видео

Прослушайте всё видео один раз молча и выпишите незнакомые слова.
Повторяйте предложение за предложением на обычной скорости, пока ваш ритм не совпадёт с ритмом говорящего.
Запишите себя и сравните с оригиналом, обращая внимание на такие слова, как underwear, pants, midnight.

Грамматика в этом видео

Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:

Конструкция	В видео
«Used to» used to + глагол — прошлая привычка или состояние, которых больше нет	used to kiss · used to do · used to be
Условные предложения if + предложение, will/would + глагол — условие и его результат	If I had to, I'd pee · If I untangle you, will you
Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас	I've had · they've done · You've already had
Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает	be engaged · was passed · being transplanted

Что такое техника Shadowing?

Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.

Техника шедоуинга: читать полное пошаговое руководство →

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Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку

Ключевая лексика этого видео

Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите

Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание

Как заниматься с этим видео

Грамматика в этом видео

Что такое техника Shadowing?

【中英】老友記/六人行錢德勒（Chandler Bing）笑話合集

Girl Teases Friend For Having Poor BF | @DramatizeMe