Практика Shadowing: This is why you envy her - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

Our best mirrors are just other women.

Other women are our best mirrors.

Other women are the portals through which we experience the best, most potent form of juicy shadow work.

It's disgusting.

It's disgusting and beautiful because it's disgusting when we project it onto other women.

Right?

The shadow and the shame, that's not actually disgusting.

It's pretty fucking neutral.

But because you are suppressing this shame, this desire, this thing that you don't think you're allowed to want, you shouldn't want, you hate other women that make money,

you judge them, you say, eat the rich, fuck her.

But really, you want to make six figures.

You want to make seven figures.

You want to have it all, right?

And you deserve to have it all.

But you pretend that you don't want it.

And so you shame other women.

You're like, that's disgusting and selfish and greedy.

I could never.

Right?

But you want it.

And the women you are rattled by, the women that you judge so fiercely, they are showing you where you are not free.

I'm going

to go to the next video.

I realized that every single block in my life,

things I don't want, things I have to fucking heal and work on, right, whether it's wound, traumas,

like blocks and fear and shame in my brain and my experience, okay?

They rarely manifest, right, in our lives where we're like, oh, I'm feeling shame.

No, we normally project it onto something else, right?

So the weather's really shit.

Or you see a woman that you're really envious of and it rattles you inside and you're like, I really want this thing.

I really want this thing.

And you see another woman have this thing.

Or maybe you don't experience a lot of envy.

Maybe you're like judgmental of other women, right and you don't embody it

but you feel it inside the little child in you is really pissed off okay life is a mirror okay

and i've said that so many times reality is a delayed mirror

but i'm taking it a step further life is always showing you where you are not free

a woman that you envy is showing you where you are still bound inside a woman who is exuberant

or just like doing anything you could literally see a woman eating a croissant

and be triggered you could see a woman who's skinny

and be triggered you could see a woman who's overweight

and be triggered you could see a woman who's living her dream life

and she's so happy

and you can't find an ounce within yourself to be happy

for her she is showing you life is showing you where

you are still bound life is showing you a reflection of

where you are not free inside it's revealing to you the

limits of your inner cage maybe that's your relationship with food maybe it's your relationship with money.

Maybe it's your relationship with freedom and choice.

You don't feel like you've ever been able to express yourself and choose things in your life.

And the reason I say a woman shows you where you are bound is because women are our best mirrors.

Women are our best mirrors.

Other women, other women that we're jealous of, other women that we admire, other women that we're getting excited by, the women in our lives,

in friendship, on social media, on television, the women we walk past on the fucking street, the women that we interact with on a daily basis.

They are our best mirrors.

And how you feel about other women is an indication of something going on within you.

Because life is a mirror, reality is a mirror, but women are our best mirrors.

Why?

Because it's the easiest thing to compare ourselves to.

It's the easiest thing for our psyche to project and compare and evaluate inside.

So if you've got some inner, maybe you've got some stuff that you haven't healed from your past, right?

Maybe that is an avoidant attachment style.

Maybe that is a fear of abandonment and watching another woman be chosen

and adored in public by her partner pisses you off.

And you start to say things like, oh, God could never be me.

PDA is so embarrassing.

Ooh, mirror, mirror.

She's showing you where you're still not, where you're not free.

A woman that you're rattled by is showing you where you are still not free.

There's nothing wrong with what she's doing, holding her partner's hand, kissing her partner, but she's pissed you off.

Why?

Investigate it, inspect it.

She's a mirror.

She's, look in the mirror.

What do you see?

Don't, don't just make it about her.

Look in the mirror.

what do i see oh i don't think i can have

that i think that's embarrassing why because it's vulnerable

and i hate vulnerability

because every single time i've tried to love someone i never felt like they loved me enough back oh fuck

and so you hate seeing women be openly loved by their partners right reality is a mirror

and reality is always showing you what to inspect within you okay

so our best mirrors are just other women other women are our best mirrors other women are the portals through

which we experience the best most potent form of juicy shadow work it's disgusting it's disgusting

and beautiful because it's disgusting when we project it onto other women right the shadow

and the shame that's not actually disgusting it's pretty fucking neutral

but because you are suppressing this shame this desire this thing

that you don't think you're allowed to want you shouldn't want you hate other women

that make money you judge them you say eat the rich fuck her

but really you want to make six figures you want to

make seven figures you you want to have you want to have it all right

and you deserve to have it all but you pretend

that you don't want it and so you shame other women you're like that's disgusting and selfish and greedy.

I could never, right?

But you want it.

And the women you are rattled by, the women that you judge so fiercely, they are showing you where you are not free,

where you are not free, where you are not experiencing freedom.

Life is always showing you where you are not free.

100

Okay.

101

I experienced this moving to Los Angeles from London.

102

Okay.

103

I left, it was so easy for me to just leave London

104

and come to LA because London reflected back to me a version of myself

105

that I felt like I'd outgrown and

106

so moving to LA allowed me to remove

107

that sort of environmental shackles of the history of my old self

108

but guess what now I'm in LA I'm able to see clearly the shackles

109

that were internal the whole time I wasn't able to see these internal shackles in London

110

because I was too clean to my old my old self, my old environment.

111

It was too easy for me to be in London and say, oh, it's London.

112

It's this, it's that.

113

I can't be as open in London because loads of people know me here

114

and I get people take photos of me on the street.

115

It's high.

116

I'm really recognizable.

117

All of that stuff was very true

118

and did contribute towards me not having this feeling of being as open as possible there.

119

And also just the old friendships I'd outgrown, right?

120

Old versions of floss lived in London. and so

121

when I came to LA it was a completely fresh start

122

for me to really be who I am at my core

123

and present this and express this and be messy

124

and just like express myself and meet people for the first time

125

and be really fresh in who I am today

126

and meeting people as this version of me now

127

but guess what it wasn't London obviously it wasn't London London was just the environment reminding me

128

of who I was but now

129

that I'm in LA it's given me like it's given me

130

so much space to see my inner shackles to see my

131

inner limits to see where I was still mentally bound environment is everything

132

but it's not everything also it's not the whole picture because you have an inner landscape babes

133

you have an inner landscape and life is always showing you inside where you are still bound

134

but imagine when i say bound i mean like there's there's an inner limit

135

that you won't cross because of guilt or shame or embarrassment

136

and you will experience these things through life maybe maybe you have been

137

so focused on hustling and working

138

that you have never addressed your relationship with food right and

139

so when you finally get a break from working

140

and hustling all of this food stuff starts coming out

141

and you're like oh shit I never healed from

142

that eating disorder right I've always said this like in my

143

early 20s it's the eating disorder thing it's like a never-ending

144

thought thread that you just have to like heal upwards from forever

145

because there's constant reminders in your environment about how women should

146

eat how women should behave how women should make their bodies like swimming in it right

147

so maybe that's a thought loop that you've not addressed for a

148

while maybe you've been single for so long

149

that you haven't had time to address your jealousy

150

because guess what you've not had a partner to be fucking

151

jealous of babes you're not healed you've just not had the mirror of a relationship to show you your inner wounding

152

right isn't

153

that crazy you can be single for years isolate yourself live

154

in your own stay in your own apartment get into a relationship

155

and then realize shit i'm jealous i'm fucking jealous

156

or shit i've got abandonment issues shit i'm an avoidant attachment

157

and i can't i can't i find vulnerability really scary

158

and that's why i've been dating for so long whatever you don't realize

159

that stuff that you have in your shadows until you have the mirror of a relationship.

160

This is why I always say magic is other people.

161

Magic alchemy happens in relationships.

162

It happens in a glance with a stranger and it happens with your attachment to the barista.

163

Like I'm not even kidding when I tell you, your attachment wounds will flare up between every single person

164

and every single thing that you interact with until you address

165

that shit that's where the alchemy happens it's where magic happens it's where synchronicity happens

166

and it's also where healing happens healing happens in relationships it

167

doesn't happen in solitude it does happen in solitude i've done

168

some of the best healing of my life in solitude

169

but some of the deeper healing in my life has come

170

from relationships friendships romantic even seeing my family like my family came to LA recently

171

and I haven't seen them for a year.

172

So my parents came to LA.

173

Fucking hell did that bring up some shit.

174

And I have an amazing relationship with my parents.

175

They didn't do anything wrong, but they were a mirror.

176

They were a mirror to the shit within me that gets triggered from those old dynamics.

177

Okay.

178

Quick little interruption from me.

179

If you've ever listened to episodes of the Florence Given show and you've thought, I wish I could have more of this,

180

I am doing bonus episodes of the Florence Given show every single Sunday over on my sub stack.

181

It's basically where all of the extra bits of my brain end up

182

and it's where I get to be a lot more open and honest and vulnerable with you.

183

It's a bit like a diary entry with everything that's on my mind, some life updates, it's a bit more personal.

184

And when you become a paid subscriber on my sub stack, you also gain access to the entire archive of podcast episodes,

185

voice notes, and my essays that I've been posting for the last two years.

186

If you're already a paid subscriber, thank you so much.

187

This is how I pay my incredible team of women that make this show possible.

188

I created this show myself and it's so important for me to remain independent

189

so I can do whatever the fuck I want.

190

So thank you so much for all of your support.

191

I really appreciate you.

192

If you want more bonus episodes of this podcast you can become a paid subscriber at substack that's florencegiven.substack.com

193

we are nothing without the mirrors of other people reality will always show you where you are not free so

194

if you're experiencing something in your life right now where it

195

almost feels like you're going back right you are making

196

so much progress but it feels like you're going back

197

and life is just pulling you back and you're just wondering

198

when the fuck is this going to be over

199

when am i not going to feel this way

200

when am i not going to feel like i'm going backwards you are being called to address something

201

that is blocking you from the things you want let me repeat

202

that you are being called in this moment through this turmoil

203

to address something that needs to be healed so

204

that you can clear the path towards what you want you

205

cannot get what you want without going through this block without healing this block

206

if you're going through a hard time right now whatever that is body stuff grief relationship

207

career feeling like a fucking failure i don't know something unpleasant

208

happening in your experience right now it's not life showing you

209

that you're not getting what you want

210

because who you're always doomed to be this by the way

211

this moment you're in right now this is where most people

212

give up this is where most people throw in their fucking hat

213

and commit to misery and commit to the version of themselves

214

that stays at this level no you're too good for it you want to level up, but guess what?

215

You've got to go through this block and smash it.

216

And then you're on this level.

217

Like imagine it like a video game, right?

218

You're going through it like a video game

219

and what you've got to go through this block and smash it

220

and then you're on this level like imagine like a video

221

game right you're going through it like a video game

222

and then you've got to you've got to go through this like this barrier okay and

223

if you just decide it's too hard i'll stay here then

224

guess what you're playing running around on this level until you decide to face your demons

225

but you've got to face those demons

226

and those demons are just most of the time demons are just emotions oh my god isn't

227

that crazy most of the time we're just avoiding shame we're

228

just avoiding fear of fear fear of judgment crazy crazy stuff

229

crazy stuff at every single level of my life where i've

230

been sort of like anticipating a really big expansion it has

231

not come without meeting literal demons sometimes sometimes i will see someone from my past demon demon

232

and i have to in

233

that moment it's a universe's test i have to be a

234

new person in their face instead of shrinking back to my old patterns of fawning

235

and being small and playing it safe right running into old friends i'm not friends with anymore

236

or seeing being in a situation that old floss couldn't handle

237

that well you know even like as a boss i'm a

238

boss i have a team of five women i have to

239

constantly be i have to be a boss i have to

240

shape my i have to make decisions as a boss as a woman who has a business

241

and not be everyone's friend like even that is a shaping of myself

242

that i have to do and it's hard but it's new

243

and now it's my baseline now i'm just a boss now i'm just a boss who has fucking business

244

but if i'd buckled and that and gone ah too much

245

then I would have stayed at

246

that level doing everything myself for the rest of my life

247

never expanding my career never expanding my message never increasing my capacity to hold more

248

because that's what a team does a team helps you hold your capacity to hold more

249

because there's literally more hands on the team babe you're not holding everything with these two hands

250

so when life is shaping you

251

and it's putting you through these challenges it's putting you through

252

them to get to the next level to get everything you fucking want and then guess what?

253

There's another level.

254

There's another level.

255

It doesn't stop there, right?

256

If you want to make, if you want to make like a big decision in your life right now, and it involves moving country like me or breaking up with someone

257

or leaving a relationship or getting into a relationship because you're ready.

258

You're like, I'm ready for the vulnerability of a relationship.

259

I am ready to be seen in all of my disgusting ways that I think no one could ever possibly love.

260

And in putting it all out on the table

261

and I am daring to let someone see me oh isn't

262

that terrifying because they could reject you

263

but they could love you too they could love you too

264

and that's the whole dance of love that's what's

265

so beautiful about falling in love and that's what's

266

so beautiful about life and relationships and friendships

267

and anything you're putting yourself in the arena to be hurt again isn't

268

that beautiful I think that's beautiful I think it's the most

269

beautiful way to live is to never hold yourself back from the experience of love

270

and hold yourself back from the experience of life and living

271

and participating because you deserve to love and live again and

272

if you're in that place right now and you're about to make

273

that big change you are going to be thrown a bunch of hurdles

274

and a bunch of bullshit on that path and it's not a sign

275

that you've gone you've gone on the wrong direction babe it's a sign you are finally participating with life

276

and you are finally encountering those fucking final bosses you're finally meeting those demons in the video game

277

that you have to slay to level up

278

and get to the next level

279

and you get bigger you get bigger muscles you get juicier

280

and you unlock a new character right you unlock a new character

281

but in order to unlock that character you need to feel your way through those blocks

282

and life is just going to keep throwing them to you

283

by the way reminder right you've never you're never going to be fully healed there's always something else

284

and you're never going to get to this pure refined holy pure healed version of yourself that's what happens

285

when you die your soul just right that's what happens when you die you're here you're human you're flawed

286

you have a physical body with a brain that has limits

287

that cannot be perfect because guess what what is perfect anyway it's fake it's fake

288

because everyone has a single different definition of perfect

289

so whatever the fuck who cares about perfect right it's all fake

290

so you're gonna you're gonna fuck up and thank god you're gonna fuck up

291

because i hate perfect people they're boring

292

and they're not real i've tried to be one myself i've tried to be a perfect person

293

and i was so boring and cagey and not myself

294

and I was hard to connect with because I was constantly performing goodness

295

and and not wanting to step put a foot wrong

296

and the pussyfooting around fucking everything is

297

that even a right phrase to use pussyfooting I don't fucking

298

know I'm using it period like tiptoeing I was tiptoeing around

299

it whatever um see I just did it then how funny

300

I lost my flow and I lost my connection trying to be perfect for you.

301

Trying to not say the wrong thing because I was afraid it was the wrong turn of phrase or whatever.

302

And then I lost my foot.

303

I lost my beautiful, juicy, delicious flow that I was on.

304

But I'm back now.

305

So yeah, stop trying to be perfect.

306

Stop trying to think that you need to be perfect in order to be loved.

307

Stop thinking that you need to be perfect before you can love

308

and let love in and let friendship in and let life in.

309

Choose to live your life now, babes.

310

Participate now.

311

life is always going to show you where you are not free in here

312

and life shows you

313

that through challenges discomfort bloating back pain maybe you have maybe

314

you get really fucking tight maybe you have chronic fatigue syndrome

315

maybe you i don't know you you have a thing i

316

know you have a thing i know everyone's got a thing

317

everyone's got a tell in their body right i think it's called

318

the canary in the coal mine people use

319

that phrase we all have a canary in the coal mine

320

which is like your body's way of whispering

321

and singing to you to let you know that danger is ahead

322

if you keep going right i think

323

that i think the the the metaphor is

324

that canaries sing in the coal mine to warn them

325

that it's dangerous or something let me check let me check before i go on this tangent okay

326

so because canaries have a high metabolism

327

and breathe rapidly they were incredibly sensitive to toxic gases like carbon monoxide

328

so if the canary became sick or died it meant

329

that the air was unsafe giving miners enough time to escape before the invisible gases could harm them too

330

so what is your canary in the coal mine you have a canary in the coal mine in your body For me, mine's my back.

331

Sometimes I get acid reflux, gut stuff, right?

332

My nervous system is very, very, it runs hot and my gut brain connection, I get some gut stuff.

333

I'm very highly sensitive.

334

I'm so sensitive to noise.

335

Here's my canary in the coal mine.

336

I start hating everyone, okay?

337

I know that I need solitude when I start hating everyone

338

and when i'm really pissed off at everyone and i'm just

339

so annoyed and i'm like oh my god everyone's eating loudly

340

and everyone's chewing loudly and oh my god the leaf blowers outside they're really pissing me off

341

and the helicopters and and it's like this overwhelming overstimulation right everything feels like it's

342

and i hate it that's one of my canaries in the

343

coal mine that's letting me know babe be alone be alone

344

because as much as I do love being around people my default is solitude

345

which is actually why I need to make such an effort to get human connection

346

because I really could just stay in my apartment all day

347

I could stay in my apartment all day my own company

348

is amazing I think I'm amazing I think I'm amazing to

349

hang out with by myself my favorite thing to do is just sit

350

and journal I really could just be alone but I don't I love people as well so I

351

I need to like toe this very fine line between socializing and balance.

352

And so that's my canary in the coal mine and my reality reflecting back to me, what is happening within me?

353

Because reality is a delayed mirror, right?

354

If it gets to that point for me in my life where I'm like irritated

355

and I've sometimes screamed into my pillows when I was close to burnout before,

356

I have all these little tells in my body and that's showing me that something needs addressing

357

and almost always the thing that needs addressing with me is either slow down,

358

slow down, or be alone.

359

Stop rushing, like rushing everything.

360

Even like when I'm in a rushing state or I've got a deadline or something.

361

I chew my food faster.

362

I move faster.

363

And all of those little things, that makes my digestion bad.

364

And then I have gut issues and I have bloating and I feel horrible.

365

Like all of these, there are so many little things that we have to like temper with in life.

366

And it's all a reflection of our inner state.

367

Physical sensations in your body, being pissed off at other people, being envious of other women, comparing yourself, right?

368

Look at your actual daily habits.

369

don't scroll don't don't scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll on social media it's going to pull you into

370

that that consumer state of mind that makes you feel really fucking resentful

371

and disgusting because you're not creating anything and then you're like uh

372

and you feel stuck

373

and a little horrible gross listen to your body listen to

374

your canary in the coal mine write your canary in the

375

coal mine down in the comments you've got a few things i know you have

376

that thing that happens to your body or your mood

377

that you know is a delayed reaction to something within you

378

that you have been neglecting write yours down in the comments

379

and remember that life is always showing you where you are not free oh my god i'm

380

so happy with this episode this just came all flowing out the only thing

381

that i have on my notes is life is always showing me where i am still not free

382

and i'm so grateful that i got to unravel

383

that with all of you

384

because it's been on my mind a week reality is a mirror

385

and life will always show you where you're not free it's

386

going to give you this block this thing to work through

387

so that you can level up on the next level of the video game i love

388

that you've got to break through it so you can stand on

389

that new round imagine it literally like a video game like this next round yeah

390

and it's funny because sometimes you think it's a final boss

391

and it's not it's not the final boss is you the final boss is your stuff

392

and changing your environment changing your environment helps so much but it's not everything

393

you need to address the blocks within

394

and you can only do those in relationships you can only

395

really test those dynamics with relationships why why is it

396

that the only place you can test your healing is in relationships

397

and not while you're single or just even physically in solitude being alone it's

398

because your pain was caused in relationships your pain was caused in relationships with other people

399

and so the healing has to happen in relationship with other people you can do meditating at home affirmations journaling

400

and you can figure out all of your shit intellectually so well

401

so well have it all down you can even break down

402

why you do the things you're doing why you're doing

403

and what the root causes of them was

404

but you do not truly heal until you are in relationship with people whether that's your boss

405

and you have to set a boundary whether that's you are a boss

406

and you have to start standing up for yourself

407

and setting standards with the people you hire maybe it's a relationship like a romantic relationship

408

and holy shit i have to tell this person this thing

409

that may be uncomfortable that they did

410

and that's how you learn to heal your people pleasing whatever it is friendships yeah I'm healing

411

so much in my female friendships right now and it's amazing

412

and it's all coming out because I actually have women in my life

413

that I really really care about and ironically

414

that is like that's the thing

415

that brings you closer together with the women in your life is through shit coming up

416

and being like I don't like this i don't like

417

and telling them and healing it so

418

that you can both be better for each other healing happens in relationship because relationships they're your best fucking mirror

419

if reality is a mirror relationships are the best mirror because

420

that is where you come close to close

421

and face to face with your shit in your shadow that you've been avoiding

422

all right get through this block

423

and you gotta get through it don't run away get through this block to get to the other side

424

and level up in the video game of life okay i love you

425

so much you fucking got this leave your notes in the comments below and please tell us what your blocks are

426

and what your little whispers are what's your canary in the coal mine from your body

427

or from your life that what's your little tell

428

that you've gone too far out of alignment let us know

429

in the comments okay i'll see you next week love you bye

430

I'm

431

going to

432

go to the next video you

✨ Рекомендуемое видео

491 предложений

Louise Hay: The Power of Letting Go – When You Stop Caring, Everything Starts Chasing You

University StudentsBusiness English+1

461 предложений

Watch this to Improve your Self-Concept and Get the Life of your Dreams! | S2E1

University StudentsBusiness English+1

444 предложений

people you should watch out for (how to spot toxic friends)

University StudentsBusiness English+2

264 предложений

5 Unfair Advantages You Can Build This Year

University StudentsBusiness English+1

198 предложений

Give Me 14 Min and I'll Delete Your Fear of Judgement

en-USUniversity Students+2

883 предложений

for ambitious women: how to let go of perfectionism & build your dream life ft. Gaby Ulloa

University StudentsBusiness English+1

Что такое техника Shadowing?

Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.

Техника шедоуинга: читать полное пошаговое руководство →

Практика Shadowing: This is why you envy her - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

turn jealousy into inspiration

The Dangerous Myth Of The #Girlboss

How to NEVER feel embarrassed again

Enough Talking. Start Becoming Someone

Shadowing Sofa with Hailey BIEBER | CEFR B2 American English | #48

I can’t help but want to be everything at once

Louise Hay: The Power of Letting Go – When You Stop Caring, Everything Starts Chasing You

Watch this to Improve your Self-Concept and Get the Life of your Dreams! | S2E1

people you should watch out for (how to spot toxic friends)

5 Unfair Advantages You Can Build This Year

Give Me 14 Min and I'll Delete Your Fear of Judgement

for ambitious women: how to let go of perfectionism & build your dream life ft. Gaby Ulloa

Об этом уроке

Что такое техника Shadowing?