Welcome to the land of the hypothetical.

Today’s story begins in the world of the Stardust Crusaders, where our intrepid group aims to pursue the Vampire Lord DIO, in order to save Holly Kujo from an otherwise incurable sickness.

Our group of 4: Jotaro Kujo, Joseph Joestar, Muhammad Avdol, and Noiraki Kakyoin, are en route to Egypt via commercial airline, currently being attacked by the Tower of Gray.

This, is where our story resumes.

This was a huge waste of time and we almost killed like, 70 people This is all your fault I’m never going on a plane again …Hm… Are you absolutely sure about that?

I don’t care what comes out of your mouth next I’m not listening No really! Think about it.

If… Perchance, this attack was a coordinated move by DIO’s minions… They probably expect us to be deterred enough to never take another flight again.

The MOST unpredictable move we could make would be to immediately fly again, on another commercial airline, directly to Egypt!

There’s no way they could follow us if they weren’t ready for it!

That seems a little risky, we don’t want to endanger innocent lives now do we?

All the more reason they wouldn’t expect us to do it!

I might advise against it, DIO has some extremely dangerous minions working for him and it would be devastating to encounter them while we’re airborne!

For example, one is the High Priestess, and it would— …I changed my mind What?

We should go flying. It sounds like it’d be funny Hello, this is DIO’s secretary speaking!

…They’re what? …THEY’RE WHAT??

CODE RED, REGROUP, REGROUP!!! THEY GOT ON ANOTHER PLANE!!!

What the bloody hell is going on Our whole plan has gone tits up!!

We had a plan?

Yes!! We had different stand users scattered across the path from Hong Kong to Egypt in order to stop the Joestars from reaching Lord DIO, but now they’ve gone and flown over all of us!!

Didn’t you have a guy for that? A guy to attack them if they got on a plane?

WE DID!! BUT THEN THEY JUST GOT ON ANOTHER PLANE!!!

What about the OTHER person for if they got on a plane You mean the baby It was a BABY??

goo goo ga ga piss off I’m sorry!! We were camped out in Abu Dhabi which as it so happens is NOT close to Hong Kong Well then who WAS in Hong Kong then???

Present!

AND WHY DIDN’T YOU FOLLOW THEM ON THE PLANE Well I was under the impression that I would be meeting them in a diner, NOT an airport!

By the time I found out where they were, they were already past customs and there was no way I was going all the way back to my hotel to grab my passport OH MY GOD— I’ll go tell Lord DIO!!

Don’t you DARE!! Do you know what pathetic henchmen we would be if we couldn’t do this ourselves??

EVERYONE IS HERE, we WILL prove ourselves!!

So tell me someone has a plan!!! We need a plan NOW, BEFORE they land their plane!!

OKAY SHUT UP fine I’ll be the one with the ideas!

You! You shoot bullets right??

Yes Then SHOOT THEM!! SHOOT THEM DOWN FROM OUT OF THE SKY Bullets don’t go that far What?? But you can control them!! Just make the bullets go to the plane and hit them!!!

Bullets don’t go that far AAUHGH who else has long-range stands?? uh YOU! You’re the one with the little gremlin!!

High Priestess YOU SHOULD GO AND— I’d need to plant my stand onboard ahead of time, which I could not do, because I was in EGYPT AAAUHHGH SOMEONE GIVE ME A PLAN, AND THEN MAKE IT LOOK LIKE I WAS THE ONE TO COME UP WITH IT Quick Boingo, maybe we can use your comic book stand that can tell the future to give us a tactical edge!!

It says someone’s gonna die, but it’s being really quirky and nonspecific BUT ACCURATE In theory I could slice someone as I fly through the plane!

Y’know, if someone threw me really really hard My goop COULD eat them… If I was close by My ability is amazingly strong, I just need to get angry at them first!

Which I’m not, at the moment, really I’m rather placid Unfortunately planes generally are not in the water Unfortunately rain is not my kind of thing Even if I got onboard my genie shtick isn’t especially useful without, you know… Dirt I need to get close to plant my stand I need to get close to plant my stand I need to get close to plant my stand Cars don’t fly Shadows don’t fly Hey birds fly Cacaw!!

OF COURSE!! Pet Shop could just FLY UP TO THE PLANE AND— Birds don’t fly that high WHY CAN’T ANYTHING GO HIGH ENOUGH TO HIT A PLANE Then let us attack them when they land!

I shall approach them first, and play poker with them to death!

Not a chance, because I’LL be the one to kill them FIRST!!

No, I want to be the one to kill them!!

THIS IS EXTREMELY NOT PRODUCTIVE What if I made the airport REALLY confusing Shut up Kenny! Shut up Kenny!

Shut up Kenny! Shut up Kenny!

Shut up Kenny! Shut up Kenny!

Shut up Kenny! Shut up Kenny!

Shut up Kenny! Go back to drawing mazes you nerd!

Mother OF COURSE!! MY BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY!!

So long as there is any reflective surface you can travel to it no matter the distance probably!!

Go, my child, and— I just remembered my life’s mission!

WHAT THE FUCK Hey I’ve got an idea WHO ARE YOU AGAIN My name is Arabia Fats …DOESN’T RING A BELL Y’know, Arabia Fats? My stand is The Sun. I can summon The Sun.

What if… What if I made the Joestar’s plane fly into The Sun …Huh.

ALRIGHT ARE YOU READY??

I’m ready!!

THEY’RE APPROACHING!! NOW SUMMON YOUR STAND!!!!

YOU KNOW IT WAS VERY FUNNY SEEING YOU CUT OFF YOUR HEAD LIKE THAT LET’S DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME ALRIGHT WHAT’S ALL THE COMMOTION WHAT What?

OH MY ME IT’S THE SUN Oh wow did you just notice?? My blood like, I can feel in my blood that DIO is actually dead now!

We don’t need to go to Egypt anymore!

Hey Miss Pilot can we turn around?

Okay~!

BR BRL BLRRL LBLRLR GLGRLBLLRLLRLGLR ~~TO BE CONTINUED~~