Shadowing Practice: How to Find Someone You Can Be With Forever - Learn English Speaking with Video
Ders oluşturuluyor...
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When you select a partner, whether you realize it or not, you're choosing a whole lifestyle and not just the person.
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You're choosing their sleep schedule.
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You're choosing their money habits.
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You're choosing their stress levels, their family drama, their levels of cleanliness, their work ethic, their coping mechanisms.
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All of these things will be a baseline of your daily life.
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If their normal is doom scrolling till 2am, avoiding all conflict, impulse spending and never exercising, Guess what?
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You're signing up to live in that ecosystem.
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Love does not cancel out people's flaws.
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In fact, love just makes you tolerate them for longer.
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Most people obsess over Do we have romantic chemistry?
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and they completely skip Can I live with this person's version of a Tuesday for the next 10 years?
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The hard truth is you don't fix somebody's lifestyle from the inside.
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You either accept the package as they are, Or your walk.
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I've been having, I've been having this conversation with a lot of single friends recently. of.
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I'm not sure.
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What I'm noticing...
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is that people tend seem to have kind of this laundry list of requirements and
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as soon as they and there's this also this false perception of infinite options.
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And so as soon as the person that they're seeing or that they're on a date with
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like fails one of the qualifications.
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They're like, Oh, next I'm going to move on.
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And then of course they're, you know, 45 and still single and wondering why they never found anybody.
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And have you ever heard that story that I think it, I think it was Warren Buffett where he said that he was like,
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you know, you, you, Write out a list of 20 things that you want in your life.
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put them in order from the thing that's most important, least important, and then cross out everything, but the top three, I've essentially started giving that exercise to my single friends.
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Cause I'm like, you're not going to find all of these.
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And, and, and it's, you've been brainwashed.
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You have this like false perception that there's a lot of these people out there
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that that tick every single box and there's not.
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And you're probably even if there is, you're probably not going to meet them.
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And if you do meet them, they're going to have so many options that it's going to be like very unlikely that you end up with them.
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It's find your three non -negotiables and then...
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negotiate on the rest and that's like fucking sacrilege these days to tell people
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because they're like i don't want to sound like settling yeah i don't want to settle it's like you Dude, everybody settles on something.
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I mean, you're settling in that you can't fly.
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at the moment.
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Yeah.
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You know, you're settling in that you need to go to bed every night.
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Yeah.
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I mean, dude, there's things that I've been with my wife for 14 years.
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There's things about her that still drive me fucking crazy.
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And, but I...
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I think she's like Latina, right?
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Well, yeah.
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Yeah.
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So that kind of comes, that's part of the course.
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It's yes, it's part for every course, but it's the Latina, the Latino versions are just much more dramatic.
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Very loud.
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Lots of tears.
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It's the spicy version.
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It's the fuego version.
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Exactly.
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It's fuego dating.
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Exactly.
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Um, But there's things about me that like she can't stand, but it's like, you just, accept at a certain point.
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You're like, okay, the good vastly outweighs the bad and you go with it.
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And I think...
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I think the reason... That.
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posted so well is you know, when you are meeting people when you are dating people.
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there's this whole kind of like, iceberg under the water of traits and characteristics and personality
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and connections and relationships that you're not really aware of that they're there.
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Um, but that's actually going to be the majority of the relationship.
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Right. And.
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really most people are kind of just going on vibes.
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you know when they're when they're dating somebody um
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And so I just think it's helpful to be like explicitly conscious about it and understand like, okay, if, if her mother's crazy like and you want to marry her,
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like you're going to have a crazy mother -in -law for 40 years.
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Looking for some crazy.
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Exactly.
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Like it's just put it on the plate because it's part of the course.
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You can't, you can't only, it's not a buffet.
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You don't just take the items you want.
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You got to take, it's the whole prefix menu.
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You know what the original name for this podcast was going to be?
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What's that?
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Crushing a Tuesday.
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The reason for that, glad that I didn't do it.
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Another one was mind and matter and another one was brain and brawn and it was, they were horrible.
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Modern wisdom was divine inspiration that came to me at three in the morning.
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Yeah, much better.
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Thank you.
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Uh, crushing Tuesday is not bad.
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Crushing a Tuesday was taken from a Tim Ferriss podcast.
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Okay.
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And what he said was most people try to optimize their lives around peak experiences.
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Mm -hmm.
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but your life is made up of average Tuesdays.
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Yeah.
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And your goal should be to make your average Tuesday as enjoyable as possible.
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Yeah.
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And that's what you're talking about here, that...
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what people look at is the amazing sex or the fascinating conversation.
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They don't realize What?
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Is this person like?
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normally?
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What is the middle of their bell curve of just how they operate?
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What do they do with Thank you with the most frequent interaction between them and reality?
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What do they do with their diet?
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That's pretty important.
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What do they do with their sleep pattern?
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That's pretty important.
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These are structural things.
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How do they deal with discomfort?
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How do they deal with things when they're hot?
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How do they deal when they're dysregulated?
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What's their family like?
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What are their timelines like?
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No, your timelines in the same.
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moving in the same direction.
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And that.. is what's the relationship with money like?
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That is what you are signing up for.
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Right.
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And that line, love does not cancel out people's flaws.
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In fact, it just makes you tolerate it for longer.
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Which is what's deranging to a lot of people
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that they get into a relationship with somebody who isn't right for them or isn't good for them. And the...
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capacity of their love, the intensity of their love just allows them to stay in something which isn't right for even longer.
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Yeah.
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And I think that people often feel guilty about having optimized for romantic chemistry,
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when what they should have been optimizing for is Is Tuesday evening with this person enjoyable?
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Right.
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And it's it's easy to optimize for that romantic chemistry
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because that's what you're flooded with when you meet somebody you really like.
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So that's what you're going to be biased towards.
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And I should I should add.
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So it's funny because I think I've posted a couple variations of this post over the years and.
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Every time there's always a couple angry people in the comments who are like,
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you this is unrealistic you shouldn't expect somebody to satisfy all these things for you
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and the point of this isn't
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that you have to go find somebody who has a mother
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that you like and who's like good with the opposite of
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that yeah no it's like it's you have to find somebody
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that you're willing to tolerate all of all of those things right
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so it's it's not um they're not trying to hit a a
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a ceiling like you're just trying to make find somebody who's like nothing falls below your floor
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and it's also i think a lot of it there are a couple other facets of this I think one is...
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understanding that what you, What are you particularly well -equipped to handle.
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So for example, my wife's Brazilian.
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She has a lot of feelings.
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And I'm just like very even keeled pretty much all the time.
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It really takes a lot for me to get worked up about anything.
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Like I'm, I'm the guy who doesn't give a fuck.
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So, It actually works extremely well.
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Like I can handle a lot of emotions.
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It doesn't really freak me out.
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I don't like get sucked into drama easily.
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So there's like a certain amount of self -knowledge of understanding
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this is the type of partner that I'm probably well suited for because my strength kind of, resonates well with their weakness or vice versa.
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Whereas like, My, you know, I have a very, very like,
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strong need for intellectual stimulation.
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I get bored extremely easily.
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and back when i was single like i i dated a lot of really cool girls
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but who just like weren't super smart or curious and i I was bored within minutes.
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And some of them were smoking hot.
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Some of them were awesome in bed.
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And I remember sitting there being like, I can't believe I'm going to break up with this girl.
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Like, she's, what am I doing?
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But, I was bored.
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Got nothing to talk to you about.
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Yeah, I was bored out of my mind.
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And your first date with your now wife, was you met in a nightclub and within 30 minutes we're talking about Russian literature.
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- Russian grammar.
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- Russian grammar.
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That's it.
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You know?
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- Yes, yes.
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Before we continue, most people in their 30s are still training hard.
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Their protein is dialed in.
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They sleep better than they did in their 20s.
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Discipline is not the issue, but recovery feels somewhat different strength gains take a little longer, the margin for error starts to shrink.
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It's not about pushing harder.
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If you care about staying strong into your thirties, forties, and fifties and beyond, this is foundational.
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Best of all, there is a 30 day money back guarantee plus free shipping in the US and they ship internationally.
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or heading to timeline .com /modernwisdom and using the code modern Thank you.
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and Modern Wisdom at checkout.
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Congratulations, you made it to the end of a clip and the full -length episode is available right here.
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Go on.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “How to Find Someone You Can Be With Forever” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 185 cümle ve 1842 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 10:08 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 182 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %84’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| bore fiil | /boɹ/ | burgulamak |
| crush fiil | /kɹʌʃ/ | ezmek |
| mitochondrion isim | /ˌmaɪtəˈkɑndɹiən/ | mitokondri |
| flaw isim | /flɔ/ | çatlak, çizik |
| podcast isim | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | podcast |
| grammar isim | /ˈɡɹæm.ə(ɹ)/ | dil bilgisi, gramer |
| cancel fiil | /ˈkæn.sl̩/ | iptal etmek |
| cleanliness isim | /ˈklɛn.li.nᵻs/ | taharet, temizlik |
| iceberg isim | /ˈaɪsbɝɡ/ | aysberg, buz dağı |
| prefix isim | /ˈpɹiːfɪks/ | önek, ön ek |
| weaken fiil | /ˈwikən/ | dayanıksızlaştırmak, güçsüzleştirmek |
| equip fiil | /ɪˈkwɪp/ | donatmak |
| checkout isim | /ˈt͡ʃɛkˌaʊt/ | kasa |
| nightclub isim | /ˈnʌɪtklʌb/ | gece kulübü |
| trait isim | /tɹeɪt/ | özellik, vasıf |
Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler
Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:
- You're choosing their sleep schedule.
- You're choosing their money habits.
- You're signing up to live in that ecosystem.
- It's find your three non -negotiables and then...
- I mean, you're settling in that you can't fly.
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — önceden başlayıp hâlâ süren bir eylem | I've been having · have been optimizing |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | you've been brainwashed · was taken · is made |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | somebody who isn · somebody who has · guy who doesn |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | you've been brainwashed · I've been · I've posted |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı you're, they're, I'm gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 67 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: ethic /ˈɛθ.ɪk/, underneath /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: crush /kɹʌʃ/, perception /pɚˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/, brainwash /ˈbɹeɪnwɒʃ/, foundational /faʊnˈdeɪ.ʃə.nəl/, negotiable /nɪˈɡoʊʃəbəl/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: mitochondrion /ˌmaɪtəˈkɑndɹiən/, foundational /faʊnˈdeɪ.ʃə.nəl/, mitochondrial /ˌmaɪ.təˈkɑːn.dɹi.əl/, negotiable /nɪˈɡoʊʃəbəl/, stimulation /stɪm.jʊˈleɪ.ʃən/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- /w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: brainwash /ˈbɹeɪnwɒʃ/, outweigh /ˌaʊtˈweɪ/, weaken /ˈwikən/, equip /ɪˈkwɪp/, qualification /ˌkwɑlɪfɪˈkeɪʃən/
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: crush /kɹʌʃ/, flaw /flɔ/, grammar /ˈɡɹæm.ə(ɹ)/, brainwash /ˈbɹeɪnwɒʃ/, cleanliness /ˈklɛn.li.nᵻs/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: podcast /ˈpɑdˌkæst/, grammar /ˈɡɹæm.ə(ɹ)/, cancel /ˈkæn.sl̩/, fascinate /ˈfæsɪneɪt/, sacrilege /ˈsækɹəlɪd͡ʒ/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; bore, crush, mitochondrion gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.