跟讀練習: 7 Things No Programmer Ever Wants to Hear - 通過影片學習英語口語

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Being a software engineer sucks.

I was told I would be working in a fast-paced, exciting environment, but in reality, I'm stuck in this cubicle, building super complex stuff that nobody understands or appreciates.

If I had a time machine, I would do two things.

One, I would tell Harambe to get away from that kid.

NOOOOO!

And two, I would go back to school to become a civil engineer, so I could work outside building stuff everyone admires, like bridges and skyscrapers.

Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to build a time machine in JavaScript yet.

Now, I would never recommend anybody choose software engineering as a career, but if you do make bad life choices like me, you should be prepared for some really bad things to happen.

Like, every doctor eventually loses a patient, and every pilot eventually crashes a plane.

Likewise, every software engineer will eventually face a merge conflict, and that's not even very bad.

In today's video, we'll look at 7 different devastating text messages that no developer ever wants to hear.

Speaking of which, I finally started a Discord, so feel free to chat with me over there after this video.

We've got some t-shirts and licenses to JetBrains software to give away over there.

One of the biggest problems with software engineering is

that you don't want your friends and family to find out what you do.

The reason is you'll get messages like this from your uncle

or old roommate asking if you want to build an app together.

It will consist of a very dumb idea that's impossibly complex to execute, like Uber but for horses, or TikTok without the Chinese, with a $500 budget.

Messages like this are so painful

because software engineers are usually introverts who have a hard time saying no. What you'll wanna do is respond and say, hey, that's an awesome idea.

I would love to build it for you, but my rate is $300 an hour.

What they'll likely do is come back with a counter offer of $0 per hour, but 10% equity in the company, which will eventually be worth billions.

That's pretty much checkmate.

Check speaks for itself.

I would just recommend accepting the offer and building the app to get them to go away.

Now, when you're not building apps for friends and family, you should be working on your own side projects.

And in doing that, you'll likely use the cloud like AWS.

One of the worst messages you can receive is a cloud billing alert like, Hey, it's AWS.

Your $25 budget has been exceeded by $2.3 million.

Maybe you clicked the wrong button or accidentally created an infinite loop, but the important thing here is not to panic.

The easiest solution is to just stop using AWS and pretend nothing ever happened.

If Jeff ever sends his guys after you, just tell them your account got hacked.

That may or may not work, and

if it doesn't, you can at least find comfort in knowing there are many

other homeless people out there who simply forgot to turn off an EC2 instance.

Another dreaded, catastrophic thing a developer doesn't want to hear is that a production database has been dropped accidentally, along with all of your company's data that was worth billions of dollars.

You just made the simple mistake of dropping prod instead of dev.

When something like this happens, it's absolutely terrifying, but hopefully you have backups that are able to restore it back to its original state.

If not, now would be a good time to start looking for a new job.

Dropping a database is incredibly easy and can be accomplished with a single line of code.

You can use this knowledge to fight back against the system, as this person did here, by weaponizing SQL injection against speed cameras.

Dropping a database is bad, but at least it's over quickly.

Many developers suffer a worse fate, like this guy who got a message from his boss, assigning him to a legacy AngularJS version 1 codebase that needs to be migrated to Angular 14.

Sadly, the previous developer died of old age, and was the only one who had any idea how anything in this codebase worked.

He knew exactly how to keep his job by creating an overly complex codebase without any comments or documentation, and now it's your turn to update it.

Fuck my life.

This job will take more skill and ingenuity than building a nuclear submarine, and when you finally finish the job in a few years, no one will even notice or care,

because by that time it'll be time to migrate your legacy codebase into the hot new JavaScript framework of 2025.

Speaking of which, something a web developer never wants to hear is that a new, better JavaScript framework has been invented.

When you learn a JavaScript framework, you join a tribe, and that means everything outside that tribe is dangerous and terrible.

Now normally, you can create an echo chamber to convince yourself

that your chosen framework is absolutely 100% the best in every use case.

However, at some point, you may be convinced that a better framework does in fact exist.

When that day comes, you'll need to turn your back on your tribe and lose many friends in the process.

And it's not exactly easy to make new friends when you're a software engineer.

I can't sit here.

But one of the most annoying things that can happen to you is when a non-technical person, like a client or marketing expert, asks you to make one small change to an already finished product.

Like, let's just move this nav bar from the top over to the side here.

It should be an easy change for you to make.

You don't not want to look like a 10x developer, so you go ahead and do it, But it takes like 20 hours and modifications in a hundred different HTML and CSS files.

Then as soon as you commit your work, that same person will come back and say, you know what, I think I liked it better the first way.

Let's go ahead and change it back.

It's no secret that the most important skill of a software engineer is being able to Google things effectively.

That means one of the worst things

that can happen to you is running into a problem that nobody else has already solved for you.

It's painful enough when zero results come back on Google with your error message, but an even worse thing can happen.

You might search an error and get a single result on an obscure forum from 10 years ago, and find some dude going through the exact same problem as you.

As you scroll down, hoping for a well-documented and detailed solution, you find that all he posted was fixed, all good now.

And now you have to figure out the problem all by yourself.

Being the Chad that you are, you get to work, and as soon as you're about to solve the problem, you get a notification that it's time for your daily stand-up meeting.

Thanks for watching, and I will see you in the next one.

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本課的詞彙與口語要點

這段影片共有 71 個句子、1208 個單詞可供跟讀。講話部分時長為 5:14。說話人語速較快，每分鐘約 231 個詞，會出現較多連讀和弱讀。 83% 的單詞屬於英語最常用的 3,000 詞，其餘的詞建議在練習前先學一下。

影片中的重點詞彙

影片中 15 個值得學習的單詞，附發音和釋義：

單詞	發音	釋義
framework 名詞	/ˈfɹeɪm.wɜːk/	骨架, 框架
database 名詞	/ˈdeɪtəˌbeɪs/	資料庫 /資料庫
cloud 名詞	/ˈklaʊ̯d/	йүн, 雲 /雲
skill 名詞	/skɪl/	技巧, 技能
solve 動詞	/sɒlv/	解決 /解決
legacy 名詞	/ˈlɛɡəsi/	遺產 /遺產
painful 形容詞	/ˈpeɪn.fl̩/	痛苦的, 疼痛的
convince 動詞	/kənˈvɪns/	說服 /說服
accidentally 副詞	/ˌæk.sɪˈdɛnt(ə)li/	偶然
chamber 名詞	/ˈt͡ʃeɪ̯mbɚ/	臥室 /臥室, 寢室 /寢室
suffer 動詞	/ˈsʌfɚ/	受苦, 遭受
uncle 名詞	/ˈʌŋ.kl̩/	伯父, 伯伯
suck 動詞	/sʌk/	吸吮, 咂
comfort 名詞	/ˈkʌm.fət/	舒適 /舒適
forum 名詞	/ˈfɔːɹəm/	論壇 /論壇, 座談會 /座談會

影片中出現的短語動詞

單詞	發音	釋義
figure out 動詞		弄清楚
go ahead 動詞	/ˌɡoʊ əˈhɛd/	請便 /請便
come back 動詞		回來 /回來, 返回
find out 動詞		找出, 查明
go away 動詞		離開 /離開, 走
go through 動詞		通過 /通過
stand up 動詞		站起來 /站起來, 起來 /起來
turn off 動詞		關 /關, 關掉 /關掉

影片中的語法

說話人最常用的結構，並附上影片中的原話：

結構	影片中的用法
條件句 if + 從句，will/would + 動詞 — 條件及其結果	If not, now would be
被動語態 be + 過去分詞 — 強調發生了什麼，而不是誰做的	was told · has been exceeded · has been dropped
現在完成時 have/has + 過去分詞 — 過去發生但與現在仍有關聯的事	haven't figured · has been exceeded · has been dropped
定語從句 who / which + 從句 — 補充說明人或事物	company, which will · guy who got · one who had

需要注意的發音

說話人用了 19 次縮略和弱讀形式，例如 you'll, you're, doesn't。請按聽到的簡短形式來說。

“sh” 和 “zh” 音: accomplish /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ/, injection /ɪnˈd͡ʒɛk.ʃən/, documentation /ˌdɑkjəmɛnˈteɪʃən/, notification /ˌnoʊtɪfɪˈkeɪʃn̩/, modification /ˌmɑdɪfɪˈkeɪʃən/
長單詞——注意重音位置: developer /dɪˈvɛləpɚ/, accidentally /ˌæk.sɪˈdɛnt(ə)li/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, documentation /ˌdɑkjəmɛnˈteɪʃən/, notification /ˌnoʊtɪfɪˈkeɪʃn̩/

如何用這段影片練習

先完整聽一遍影片，不要開口，記下不認識的單詞。
先用 0.75 倍速逐句跟讀，熟練之後再回到正常速度。
錄下自己的聲音並與原聲對比，特別注意 framework, database, cloud 這類單詞。

什麼是跟讀法？

跟讀法 (Shadowing) 是一種有科學依據的語言學習技巧，最初開發用於專業口譯員的培訓，並由多語言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。這個方法簡單而強大：您在聽英語母語原聲的同時立即大聲重複——就像是一個延遲1-2秒緊跟說話者的影子。與被動聽力或語法練習不同，跟讀法強迫您的大腦和口腔肌肉同時處理並模模擬實的講話模式。研究表明它能顯著提高發音準確性，語調，節奏，連讀，聽力理解和口語流利度——使其成為雅思口語備考和真實英語交流最有效的方法之一。

影子跟讀法: 閱讀完整分步指南 →

跟讀練習: 7 Things No Programmer Ever Wants to Hear - 通過影片學習英語口語

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