Pratique du Shadowing: the social skills every smart woman needs - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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You are one of the smartest women in every room you walk into.
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You know it.
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The people around you know it.
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And yet somehow there's always that woman.
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The moment she walks in, the energy shifts.
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People lean in, opportunities find her, conversations bend in her direction.
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And you've watched it happen enough times to know that whatever she has, It isn't on some resume.
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And I know you.
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You've spent so much time building your career, getting hotter, smarter, richer, becoming someone who's truly undeniable and impressive on paper.
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But no one ever taught you the other game that runs underneath every room you've ever walked into.
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That ends today.
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Hello my muses!
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Welcome back to my channel where women who want everything learn to have their cake and eat it too.
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I'm your host Nadine and I'm rebuilding the village woman once had
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so we can have the right conversations and create lives that feel as good as it looks.
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Please subscribe if you're new so you don't miss any of our chats.
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Here's what I've come to understand about truly socially intelligent women
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they are playing a completely different game than everyone else in the room.
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They understand power, they understand people, and they understand how to position themselves without ever looking like they're trying.
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I think of it as social chess, and it is one of the most under leveraged skills an intelligent woman can develop for her career and for every relationship,
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every room, every version of the life she's trying to build.
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And the great thing about it is you can absolutely learn it.
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It's one of those things where once you see it, you can't unsee it.
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So here are five things you need to master to be the social chess grandmaster.
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As always, we don't gatekeep, so let's step into it.
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First, every room has a power map, so learn to read it within 60 seconds.
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Most people walk into a room
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and immediately start performing a version of themselves they think they need to be in that room.
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They're thinking about how they're coming across, what to say, who to approach.
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And because all of their attention is pointed outward at themselves, they completely miss what's actually happening in the room.
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The first move in social chess is to flip that entirely.
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You walk in and instead of asking, how's my hair?
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How do I look?
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You ask, what is actually going on here?
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Every room, dinner party, work meeting, social gathering has what I call a power map.
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Anchor.
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This is the person the room is emotionally organized around.
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This is the person whose mood sets the tone.
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Pay attention to where people's eyes go to when something funny happens, who they turn to look at to watch their reaction.
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That's the anchor.
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That's the person whose social approval the people in the room wants.
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The second is the connector.
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This is the person who knows everyone and is actively introducing people and initiating conversations and getting people together.
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They are almost always the most genuinely liked person in the room and the most trusted.
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If you want to integrate into a new social environment quickly, find the connector and treat that relationship with care.
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The third is the observer.
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This is the person who was saying the least, but watching everything that's happening carefully.
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The observer is the most underestimated person there.
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They are usually the most valuable to have on your side because they have seen everything and said nothing,
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which means they know things nobody else knows that they know.
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So here's the move.
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In any new room you step into, spend the first five minutes identifying these three people before you engage deeply with anyone.
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It takes practice.
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It's not comfortable at first.
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It pushes you to get out of your comfort zone.
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But once you can do it, you will never walk into a room not knowing how to position yourself again.
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Second, learn to actually read people past their personalities.
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We live in an era obsessed with personality frameworks, Myers -Briggs, Engrams, attachment styles, and look, I love them and I think they're so much fun,
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but they only tell you about a person's general wiring, okay?
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They don't tell you what that person needs right now, in this very moment, in this dynamic.
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I've always found that people always tell on themselves, but not directly in what they say.
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I like to pay attention what they brag about, what they complain about, or what they ask questions about.
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What someone brags about shows their insecurity.
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Really pay attention.
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The person who is constantly talking about their title or their salary
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or their connections is telling you that those things feel fragile to them and they need them validated.
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But don't confuse this with people who are actually just genuinely excited to share positive news, okay?
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That's different.
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Now, what someone likes their values.
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If someone is always frustrated that people don't listen to them, they deeply value being heard and understood.
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If someone is always complaining that people are flaky, they value reliability and follow through.
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Isn't that kind of interesting that you can tell?
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And like when someone asks questions, pay attention to what they ask about because that shows their desires.
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The questions people ask in conversations are windows into what they're actually thinking about, working through, or wanting for themselves.
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Once you start listening at this level, conversations become very interesting and provide a lot of information.
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You start actually hearing people and when you can hear what someone actually needs,
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saying, you become someone they feel very comfortable around and trust because you make them feel understood.
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This is active, deep listening, and it helps build genuine connections and trust.
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Third, stop trying to be interesting and become interested.
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One of the most counterintuitive truths in social intelligence is
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that the women who are the most magnetic in social situations are almost never the ones who are trying to be impressive.
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They're the ones who are the most genuinely curious about the people in front of them.
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When someone is clearly very accomplished or intelligent, people expect them to be somewhat self -centered.
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When you, a smart, beautiful woman, turn the full beam of your attention onto the person you're speaking with
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and asking them questions that really show you were listening, it is a little disarming because it's unexpected.
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So it creates an instant bond.
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Your intelligence is not your most powerful social asset.
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Your curiosity is.
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And here's a real life application.
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Most people ask surface level questions and conversations.
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What do you do?
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Where are you from?
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How do you but they're not memorable.
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The woman playing social chess asks what I call second layer questions.
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She takes whatever answer you just gave her and goes one level deeper.
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You say you just got back from a work trip.
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She doesn't say, oh, how was it?
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She asks, what was the most unforgettable thing about it?
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You say you're thinking about changing careers.
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She doesn't say, oh, really?
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Why?
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Or to what?
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She asks, what finally Second layer questions do something very important here.
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It signals that you are actually listening to them and it invites the other person into a more interesting version of themselves, even if it's just for 10 minutes.
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that woman for someone else, even for a moment, makes you unforgettable.
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Fourth, understand the difference between social capital and social debt.
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This is a framework I don't think gets talked about enough, and it completely changed how I think about every social interaction I have.
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Every interaction you have with another person either deposits into
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or withdraws from what I call your social capital account with that person.
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account, the balance determines what's available to you when you need it.
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Social capital deposits are small but consistent.
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You remembered something that they said three months ago.
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You sent them something that made you think of them.
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You showed up and celebrated them even when it was inconvenient for you.
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You defended their name in a room they weren't in.
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You celebrated their wins without making it about you.
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None of these are really grand gestures, but they are hallmarks of a good and also micro deposits you make that compound over time.
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Social debt, on the other hand, is less obvious than most people think.
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I mean, yeah, it can look straight up like selfishness,
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but it usually looks like the friend who likes to process all of their thoughts out loud all the time, but never asks how you're doing.
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Or it can look like the colleague who is warm
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and charming when they want something from you and professionally distant the rest of the time.
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can look like the person who shows up for the fun moments and disappears the moment things are difficult for you.
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None of these people think of themselves as takers, but their social account is overdrawn and the people around them feel it even when they can't fully understand it.
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If you are playing social chess, you need to understand that social debt compounds just like financial debt.
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Small withdrawals that go unaddressed don't stay small.
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They accumulate into this negative feeling And once people feel that way about you and they have that impression about you,
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it is very hard to turn around.
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I don't know about you girls, but there are some friends that I've dropped around my Saturn return dark night of the soul.
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And it was mostly due to this selfishness or this lack of awareness.
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And no matter how they try to explain themselves or whatever, you just have that impression of them and you can't really go back to how things work.
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The framework is so useful because we're usually completely unaware about our social account balances.
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why certain relationships feel transactional, why certain people seem kind of distant, why we don't get invited into certain rooms anymore.
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And the answer is almost always that you have been overdrawing from an account.
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Unless and less and less.
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You meet an insecure girl The universe knows how much I have to say about that.
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But I have a separate video in the works about insecure girls because ew, Anyways, the woman playing social chess is aware and mindful of this.
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So she makes deposits before she needs to make withdrawals.
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And she understands that the most valuable social capital you can build is the kind
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that makes people feel like you're someone worth getting to know or being friends with.
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The girlies around me who are great at doing this invest a lot of time
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and energy into making plans and communicating and offering help where they can.
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I don't know if there's even an Chinese,
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there is a phrase called which pretty much means your fate or luck with people is just really good.
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People like you, you're charismatic, people gravitate towards you naturally.
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So make deposits before you make withdrawals.
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The key to networking is thinking about what you can do for others before asking what they can do for you.
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And the fifth and last one, master the energy of the room.
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Now, here is something that took me honestly way too long to figure out and fully understand.
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Communication is only partially verbal.
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In fact, research suggests
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that the feeling people walk away with from an interaction is largely determined by your energy than by what you actually said.
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I'm sure you've heard of people say this.
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It's not what you say, but it's how you say it,
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feeling upset or uncomfortable, or you can say very little and leave people feeling completely at ease and in awe of you.
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There's a concept I love called emotional contagion.
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It's a scientifically documented phenomenon where we unconsciously absorb and mirror the emotional states of the people around us.
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You walk into a room where two people just had an argument and even though nobody told you, you feel it.
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You sit next to someone on the plane who is anxious and you start feeling
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someone who is genuinely so positive and carefree that you leave feeling more inspired and excited about life.
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And it's because we have what is called mirror neurons, cells in our brain that literally fire in response to the emotional states of others.
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We are wired to catch each other's feelings, which is kind of cool, isn't it?
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Like in some ways we're kind of telepathic.
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So the social chess or social game implication of this is huge
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because it means that the most powerful thing you bring into any room is not a talking point or a strategy.
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It is a regulated, grounded, genuinely present, good energy.
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When you are that woman, you become the emotional anchor of every room you walk into.
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People feel better around you without knowing why.
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They trust you faster.
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They open up more easily.
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They want to be near you.
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And here's a little wisdom for my muses and may mays.
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The energy
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Your energy is the accumulated output of how you have been living pause rewind
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that back okay your energy is the accumulated output of how
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you have been living a woman who is genuinely at peace
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with her choices who is building something she believes in who is not betraying herself in her relationships
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or her work she walks into rooms feeling confident and expanded There's no performance because she has nothing to perform.
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So the most magnetic version of you is the result of you actually living your best life.
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And that is both the most inconvenient and the most liberating thing I can tell you.
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So here's your homework for this week.
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I want you to walk into one social situation, a work meeting, a dinner, a catch up with a friend.
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It can be anything.
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And I want you to practice one to two things from today
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and then come back here and let me know in the comments how it went.
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This is a challenge, okay?
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Because I know it'll make you zone.
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But just like any skill, social chess is built one move at a time.
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That's all the cake I have for you today.
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Thank you so much for watching until the end.
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I appreciate it so much.
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And if you enjoyed our little chat today, please like hype and leave a comment to share your thoughts and I'll see you in the next episode.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau B2 s’appuie sur la vidéo « the social skills every smart woman needs ». Cette vidéo contient 193 phrases et 2443 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 15:07. Le locuteur parle à un rythme naturel d’environ 162 mots par minute, proche d’une conversation courante. 88 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais, le vocabulaire est donc facile à suivre.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| chess nom | /t͡ʃɛs/ | échecs |
| genuinely adverbe | /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/ | authentiquement, réellement |
| accumulate verbe | /əˈkjuːmjʊˌleɪt/ | accumuler |
| anchor nom | /ˈæŋ.kəː/ | ancre |
| withdrawal nom | /wɪðˈdɹɔ(ə)l/ | retrait |
| brag verbe | /bɹæɡ/ | fanfaronner, se vanter |
| connector nom | /kəˈnɛktɚ/ | connecteur |
| inconvenient adjectif | /ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/ | incommode, inconvenant |
| selfishness nom | /ˈsɛl.fɪʃ.nəs/ | égocentrisme, égoïsme |
| unforgettable adjectif | /ˌʌnfə(ɹ)ˈɡɛtəbəl/ | inoubliable |
| muse verbe | /mjuːz/ | songer |
| insecure adjectif | /ɪnsəˈkjʊɹ/ | insécurisé |
| observer nom | /əbˈzɝvɚ/ | observateur |
| magnetic adjectif | /mæɡˈnɛtɪk/ | magnétique |
| compound nom | /ˈkɑmpaʊnd/ | composé |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Sens |
|---|---|
| come across verbe | avoir l'air de |
| come back verbe | revenir |
| figure out verbe | cerner |
| open up verbe | ouvrir |
| show up verbe | apparaître, se montrer se pointer |
| turn around verbe | retourner |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- You walk in and instead of asking, how's my hair?
- How do I look?
- You ask, what is actually going on here?
- Isn't that kind of interesting that you can tell?
- What do you do?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continu have/has been + -ing — une action commencée avant et toujours en cours | have been overdrawing · have been living |
| Propositions relatives who / which + proposition — une précision sur une personne ou une chose | women who want · person who knows · person who was |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | you've watched · You've spent · you've ever walked |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | is pointed · is always frustrated · is called |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 46 contractions et formes réduites, comme don't, they're, you're. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « th »: withdrawal /wɪðˈdɹɔ(ə)l/, telepathic /ˌtɛlɪˈpæθɪk/, withdraw /wɪðˈdɹɔ/, underneath /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: selfishness /ˈsɛl.fɪʃ.nəs/, transactional /trænˈzækʃ(ə)nəl/, unconsciously /ˌʌnˈkɑnʃəsli/, implication /ˌɪmpləˈkeɪʃən/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, accumulate /əˈkjuːmjʊˌleɪt/, inconvenient /ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/, unforgettable /ˌʌnfə(ɹ)ˈɡɛtəbəl/, charismatic /ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: hallmark /ˈhɔlmɑɹk/, hype /haɪp/, homework /ˈhoʊmˌwɝk/
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: chess /t͡ʃɛs/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, contagion /kənˈteɪd͡ʒən/, fragile /ˈfɹæd͡ʒəl/, leverage /ˈlɛv.(ə.)ɹɪd͡ʒ/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: withdrawal /wɪðˈdɹɔ(ə)l/, brag /bɹæɡ/, unforgettable /ˌʌnfə(ɹ)ˈɡɛtəbəl/, insecure /ɪnsəˈkjʊɹ/, betray /bɪˈtɹeɪ/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme chess, genuinely, accumulate.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.