Pratica di Shadowing: 3 Communication Truths That Will Change Every Conversation - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
Creazione lezione...
1
Hey y'all, it's Jefferson.
2
On today's episode, I'm going to be sharing with you three must-know truths
3
that are going to change the way you communicate and how to leverage those mindsets to improve your life for the better.
4
Welcome to the Jefferson Fisher Podcast.
5
In fact, season two of the Jefferson Fisher Podcast, where I'm on a mission to make your next conversation the one that changes everything.
6
If you enjoy learning tools to improve your communication, I'm going to ask you to please follow this podcast.
7
And if you would, leave a review.
8
Give it a like, a star, anything helps.
9
It really does.
10
I want to also let you know that my new book, The Next Conversation, is officially out on pre-order.
11
And if you like anything about this podcast, I promise you, you're going to like the book.
12
And for the first time, I have the Jefferson Fisher School of Communication that is now out and ready.
13
All you have to do is just look in the show notes.
14
I'll have all the links posted right there.
15
Before we go into the three things that I want to dive into, you might notice something a little bit different.
16
The sound quality might be a little bit different.
17
I now have a microphone.
18
I'm in a studio and not in my car.
19
Now, I want to tell you, don't worry, I'm still going to be making car videos, those daily car videos that you see and that I enjoy making for you.
20
But when it comes to podcasting and more longer form content, I can't always make it in the car.
21
I'll still keep the episode short.
22
I'm hoping to keep it at the 12 to 18 20 minute mark right in there to where it's
23
it's something that you can listen to right in your commute
24
but I don't want to have super long form content right
25
now I just want to keep it in the sweet spot until I get more comfortable with it
26
and see what works in my life
27
so this is a change with everything that's coming up with the book launch
28
and I'm also going to be bringing you guests for the
29
first time I'm going to have solo episodes too you're still going to hear from me
30
but I also want to bring you some guests that I know
31
that you love and people that I love
32
that are going to also just continue to pour into you as much as they have poured into me.
33
All right, three things that I want you to know that are going to change the way you communicate.
34
Are you listening?
35
Are you ready?
36
Number one, never win an argument.
37
Whenever your goal is to win an argument, you lose so much more every time.
38
And it gets me frustrated, to tell you the truth, of how much I see out in the world,
39
videos to blogs to books and magazines and articles on how to win every argument.
40
Let me tell you right now, it is a lie.
41
It's snake oil.
42
It's clickbait.
43
It's not true.
44
It has nothing to do with real world.
45
That's why it does not work.
46
When you've ever seen, like, why am I not winning this argument?
47
Because the idea of winning it does not work.
48
It never has.
49
It never will.
50
People like to say, well, Jefferson, aren't you an attorney?
51
Isn't this kind of your day job?
52
This is what you do for a living.
53
You win arguments.
54
Absolutely not.
55
No, that's not how it works.
56
As a trial attorney, any trial attorney who is in the courtroom, you do not choose your client's facts.
57
When a client walks into my door and they have, hey, I've been in an accident and here are my facts.
58
I can't create new facts that will help my case.
59
And I can get rid of facts or delete facts that hurt my case.
60
I am stuck with the cards that are dealt.
61
Same thing applies with the law.
62
I can't choose.
63
I'm here in Texas.
64
I can't choose what laws I'm going to follow or not going to follow.
65
They apply to everyone here in the state, same if the federal level or any state in the U.S.
66
I can't choose any of that.
67
And so when it comes to arguing as an attorney, it's more about giving the facts and evidence a voice.
68
How can I persuade you based upon my facts and what I have in the law?
69
And then it's ultimately up to the finder of fact is how they call it.
70
You have the judge or you have the jury, and it's going to be those are the people who decide what's persuasive and what's not.
71
Are they following the law?
72
At the end of the day, they have to follow the law.
73
It has nothing to do about who's winning an argument.
74
The other attorney might have better facts.
75
The other attorney might have better law.
76
It has nothing to do with me winning it.
77
So it's not even the same thing in the courtroom or as an attorney.
78
You cannot win every argument.
79
When you do, when you set out to say, I want to win this argument, you will lose the relationship with this person.
80
It may not be the first time.
81
It may not be the second time.
82
But over time and time and time again, the value and quality of that relationship is going to continue to go down.
83
Here's what I mean.
84
When you and I are fighting and we're trying to win an argument, what I've really won is your contempt.
85
You're now mad at me, most likely.
86
I've won your ability to have awkward silence now every time we pass each other in the hall.
87
I still have to probably work with this person.
88
You probably have to live with this person.
89
What have you won?
90
You've really probably won the first chance.
91
You're now the first person up to have to apologize.
92
Often we win arguments because we said something that was over the top, went too far below the belt.
93
Anything that made the argument stop.
94
Just because you're the last one who speaks does not mean that you're the one who won the argument.
95
It is just not true.
96
So every time you try to see yourself is winning an argument, you're going to lose the relationship.
97
You're going to lose their respect.
98
You're going to lose their trust, their confidence.
99
And over time, you're going to lose the ability to connect with
100
that person when you always set out to win an argument.
101
So instead of winning an argument, this is what I want you to do.
102
See the argument as something to unravel.
103
See the argument as something to unravel, as in a knot.
104
You have one side, I have the other.
105
And when I'm pulling and we're pulling, it just makes the knot tighter and tighter.
106
It doesn't go anywhere.
107
Instead of seeing who's going to win this tug of war, you have to stop, put it down, and find a way to locate the knot.
108
And when you do, that's where you have the heart of the matter, where you can start to unravel and say, I'm trying to understand where you're coming from.
109
They're trying to understand where you're coming from.
110
Then you can talk.
111
Then you can connect with the person.
112
It is not winning an argument that is going to change the way you communicate.
113
It is seeing the way that you can unravel the knot.
114
I really hope that resonates with you.
115
It's one of the main pillars that I use every day in my communication
116
and how I see things between two people and how we connect with each other.
117
Don't look to win the argument.
118
You want to look to unravel the knot.
119
You just have to be patient enough.
120
Truth number two, have something to learn, not something to prove.
121
Now this goes beautifully with the first point of never win an argument.
122
Number two says, have something to learn, not something to prove.
123
Struggle happens, difficulty happens, bad things happen in communication when I'm trying to prove something against you.
124
But here's the fact of it.
125
The harder I work to push against you, the harder I push to prove my point, the more hardened you'll become that I'm wrong.
126
Because what you don't know is that behind everybody, as we're going to talk here in the third step, is there is a surface and a depth behind everybody.
127
So if I were to say, you're wrong.
128
Hey, you listening right now?
129
You're wrong.
130
Whatever opinion you have, I'm going to say that it's wrong.
131
But what I don't know is when I tell you that you're wrong, I could also be saying that your family member is wrong.
132
Your grandparent is wrong.
133
What you've known your whole life is wrong.
134
We all come into circumstances with different life experiences.
135
So if you've been raised, maybe let's say in a particular religion your entire life, or you've heard only a certain political party your entire life.
136
These are big concepts I'm talking about here.
137
Or maybe you grew up in an area that is culturally a certain way, and somebody says that that's wrong.
138
What you're doing is just changing their whole paradigm and saying everything about you is wrong.
139
And we will get so defensive, even to the point of refusing to listen, to be able to preserve that identity that the other person has.
140
They will fight tooth and nail.
141
It doesn't matter.
142
That's why logic does not work in these circumstances.
143
Logic doesn't work because it is part of their identity.
144
It is their value in their life of this is who I am.
145
If you're saying that I'm wrong, that means my dad's wrong.
146
My mom's wrong.
147
My grandparents are wrong.
148
And it ties to a whole lot more.
149
When somebody likes, let's say, a political candidate, it doesn't matter what party, and you say that they're wrong, well, you get a lot of people
150
that are fans of certain people get very defensive because they tied their identity to that person.
151
You have to understand that you come into it with something to learn, not something to prove in that conversation.
152
I get really worked up about these truths because they hit so much at home for me.
153
The points that I give, they're little quick, rapid things.
154
I'm always going to be giving you those.
155
I want to start season two a little bit different.
156
That does not mean I'm going to continue to do the bigger concepts.
157
I always give practical takeaways, and I'm going to give that to you here.
158
I want you to get used to this mindset of when you see struggle, when there's friction in the communication, ask yourself, Am I trying to prove something,
159
or am I trying to learn something?
160
Here's a depiction of this, an illustration I want you to have in your mind.
161
If I'm arguing with you, I cannot pour, let's say I have a glass of water.
162
I cannot pour water into your full pitcher.
163
I can't pour new thoughts into a pitcher that's already full.
164
I have to let you get it all out.
165
I have to ask you questions and get curious of, well, how long have you, you know, how'd you come to that conclusion?
166
How long have you thought like this?
167
Things that you're getting information out of the other person, rather than just trying to splash the water in their face and saying, take this and whatever, everything I say is right.
168
Instead, you need to ask questions that get it all out.
169
And only then is there space for you to fill it with your new thoughts.
170
Have something to learn, not something to prove.
171
Truth number three is one of my favorites.
172
The person you see is not the person you're talking to.
173
The person you see is not the person you're talking to.
174
Like we said in step two, everybody has a surface and a depth.
175
The person who's serving you coffee at the cafe, maybe they served it a little late.
176
Maybe they had a little bit of attitude.
177
That's the person you see.
178
But the person you're talking to maybe should have been off two hours ago
179
or just got a terribly rude comment from a customer an hour before and now it's weighing on them.
180
Or maybe their kids are staying with their mom
181
and they're in a bad mood because they don't like where they are in life.
182
There's always a surface and a depth.
183
People that you're driving behind.
184
This is for me right here.
185
I'm talking to myself.
186
When you're driving in the left lane and somebody's in the left lane here in the United States, you have the right lane, left lane.
187
Our default is typically in the right lane through single lane passing traffic.
188
But it's two lanes.
189
Left lane is for passing.
190
The right lane is for those that go slow.
191
So anytime you want to, somebody's going slow in the left lane, it irritates me to no end.
192
But I'm working on that.
193
See, I can work on things too.
194
Well, anytime you're going slow behind a car, that's probably going to speed limit, let's be honest.
195
You just automatically assume they are in your way.
196
Get out of my way.
197
How dare you be in my way?
198
You don't know what in the world is going on with their life.
199
You don't know what kind of news this person is dealing with.
200
Same way when somebody is coming up behind you, like what we call on your rear.
201
When they are right up behind you, you think, what do you want?
202
What do you want from me?
203
And you get aggravated that they're trying to speed you up.
204
So it just goes all into this thing of we like to think about ourselves.
205
It's our default.
206
It's natural.
207
I want you to see that the person you see is not the person you're talking to.
208
So you have to get really curious about understanding that everybody has something going on that you don't know about.
209
People you're related to, they have struggles they don't share with you.
210
Your kids, there are things that are happening in their life that they may not share with you.
211
Same thing with your work.
212
You have a supervisor, an employee.
213
There are things going in their life that you don't know.
214
They're having conversations in their head that you aren't part of.
215
For those that have been in relationships or are in one right now, you've all experienced this concept where somebody comes into the house,
216
the room, the apartment, whatever, and you can just tell they're in a bad mood.
217
And it's not until 20 minutes into the conversation, you're like, is something wrong with you?
218
Well, it turns out what happened to them happened six hours before,
219
and they've been living with that long before they came in contact with you.
220
So things happen that you have no idea about.
221
So when you go into this thing of exactly who I see with this person is exactly who they are.
222
And you go into stereotypes and you say, oh, I'm going to call a spade a spade.
223
That's fine.
224
Do what you need to do.
225
Understand that's not the real person.
226
I've seen some of the toughest people, meanest looking people be the biggest teddy bears and sweethearts.
227
I've also seen the smallest, may I say oldest, weakest people be the sturdiest,
228
strongest humans I've ever come across.
229
You cannot But judge a book by its cover.
230
Now, I also want to make sure and take a second to tell you about a sponsor of this podcast, and they're called Cozy Earth.
231
And the reason why I said yes to Cozy Earth is because I already use their stuff.
232
Their sheets are on my bed right now.
233
I wear their sweat shirts and their sweatpants.
234
My wife loves their pajamas.
235
I can't imagine using anything else.
236
So if you are like me and you like to wear cozy things when you're home, you can go to CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson and use the code Jefferson for 40% off.
237
That's CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson and use the code Jefferson for 40% off.
238
Three truths that I want you to understand when it comes to communication.
239
You use these mindsets by thinking about them, taking them to heart.
240
I want you to just take for a moment
241
and see what has resonated with you in this conversation that we're having here.
242
Yeah, it's a conversation.
243
I know I'm talking to you and you're not talking back.
244
But you are in many ways when you leave comments, when you comment on any videos.
245
I get to hear from you.
246
For those that are part of my newsletter, you're able to ask me questions, and I'm able to field those.
247
Throughout the rest of the season, I will be answering my newsletter emails.
248
I have lots of them that I've starred, and I want to make sure that I get to.
249
You can also join my newsletter there in the show notes.
250
I have a little link for it there.
251
I want you to understand that when you go into communication, applying these will change the way you think, And when you use them,
252
it will improve your life.
253
When you, number one, stop seeing arguments as something to win, but something to unravel.
254
Number two, have something to learn, not something to prove.
255
And number three, the person you see is not the person you're talking to.
256
Three things that are going to change the way you communicate.
257
That's real those are things that are on my heart, and those are things that are outlined in chapter one of my book,
258
things that really, really mean a lot significantly to me, and I hope they've shown some light, shared some light, and shed some light onto you.
259
Thank you so much for listening to this podcast.
260
If you enjoyed today's episode, I'm going to ask you to, again, just follow this podcast, and if you would, leave a review.
261
I'd love to have you part of the newsletter, and again, my book, The next conversation is currently still on pre-order.
262
If you like, I would still love to have any kind of feedback that you have.
263
So if you like or don't like this studio setup, if you like or don't like the microphone, just tell me.
264
All this stuff is new to me.
265
This is not super fancy.
266
There's not some big, huge team.
267
This is me trying to talk to you and share what's on my heart.
268
I'm looking forward to sharing.
269
Season 2 of the podcast, got a lot of things coming that we're still planning on that I just cannot wait to share with you.
270
Thanks for being with me.
271
And as always, you can try that and follow me.
📺 Stesso Canale
B11
Use This Phrase on The Silent Treatment
Business EnglishDaily ConversationWorking Adults
B23
Never Struggle with Small Talk Again | Easy Tips for Better Conversations
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
THIS is How To Be Direct Without Hurting People | Jefferson Fisher
American AccentBusiness EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
B21
Erin McGoff: How to be Instantly More Confident at Work
American AccentBusiness EnglishInterview EnglishUniversity Students
B21
You’re Losing Respect Every Time You Say This
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationWorking Adults
B23
You’re Not Responsible for Their Emotions
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
Finance Expert: How You Talk About Money Matters Ft. Vivian Tu
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B2How to Be Direct Without Sounding Rude
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B2How Strong Communicators Handle Difficult Talks
American AccentBusiness EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
B1what to say instead of staying silent
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B1Be more direct.
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationWorking Adults
✨ Video consigliato
B21
545 frasi
WHY YOU NEED TO GET OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE | getting over your fears & anxieties + just doing it!
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
272 frasi
English Listening Podcast - How I Learned Spanish
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B127
18 frasi
The 7 Habits of Highly Successful Students (Part 3) 🎯
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B2296 frasi
2590 - 3 Tips to Keep Your Accent and Be Understood With Valerie Fridland
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B25
447 frasi
How to change your life by journaling in 2026
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B24
73 frasi
Sound More Professional in English | 5 Phrases for Difficult Conversations
American AccentBusiness EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
B24
377 frasi
How I'd improve my English if I only had 15 minutes - The Fluency Habit Podcast
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
856 frasi
The Art of Charm Podcast 716 - 8 Tips for Compelling Conversation
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B24
178 frasi
"Give me 13 Minutes, and I'll Improve Your Communication Skills by 88%..." - Jim Rohn
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
435 frasi
Don't Lose the Room: How to Make Ideas Stick
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione di livello B2 si basa sul video “3 Communication Truths That Will Change Every Conversation”. Questo video contiene 271 frasi e 3221 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 16:56. Chi parla va veloce, circa 190 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 89% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese, quindi il lessico è facile da seguire.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
Le 15 parole più avanzate del video, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| podcast sostantivo | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | podcast, audioprogramma |
| unravel verbo | /ˌʌnˈɹævəl/ | districare, sfilacciare |
| knot sostantivo | /nɑt/ | nodo |
| pour verbo | /poɹ/ | versare |
| newsletter sostantivo | /ˈn(j)uzˌlɛtɚ/ | bollettino |
| cosy aggettivo | /ˈkoʊzi/ | accogliente |
| mindset sostantivo | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | mentalità, modo di pensare |
| grandparent sostantivo | /ˈɡɹæn(d)pɛəɹənt/ | nonno, nonna |
| resonate verbo | /ˈɹɛz.əˌneɪt/ | risuonare |
| courtroom sostantivo | aula, sala d'udienza | |
| circumstance sostantivo | /ˈsɝ.kəmˌstæns/ | circostanza |
| microphone sostantivo | /ˈmaɪ.kɹəˌfəʊn/ | microfono |
| anytime avverbio | in qualsiasi momento, in qualunque momento | |
| depiction sostantivo | /dɪˈpɪkʃən/ | dipinto, descrizione |
| irritate verbo | /ˈɪɹ.ɪˌteɪt/ | irritare |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| come across verbo | dare l'impressione, avere l'aria |
| come up verbo | venire fuori, emergere |
| come up with verbo | ideare, escogitare |
| look forward to verbo | non vedere l'ora |
| talk back verbo | rispondere in malo modo, rispondere |
| turn out verbo | risultare |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- When you've ever seen, like, why am I not winning this argument?
- Isn't this kind of your day job?
- Hey, you listening right now?
- How long have you thought like this?
- How dare you be in my way?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | have poured · you've ever seen · I've been |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | are dealt · you've been raised · are outlined |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | people who decide · one who speaks |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 119 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come you're, I'm, don't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: depiction /dɪˈpɪkʃən/, friction /ˈfɹɪkʃən/, splash /splæʃ/, illustration /ˌɪləsˈtɹeɪ̯ʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: stereotype /ˈstɛ.ɹi.əˌtaɪp/, illustration /ˌɪləsˈtɹeɪ̯ʃən/, beautifully /ˈbju.tɪ.fə.li/, supervisor /ˈsupɚˌvaɪzɚ/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: harden /ˈhɑɹdn̩/, sweetheart /ˈswiːtˌhɑːt/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: podcast /ˈpɑdˌkæst/, knot /nɑt/, mindset /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/, grandparent /ˈɡɹæn(d)pɛəɹənt/, resonate /ˈɹɛz.əˌneɪt/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: podcast /ˈpɑdˌkæst/, unravel /ˌʌnˈɹævəl/, grandparent /ˈɡɹæn(d)pɛəɹənt/, circumstance /ˈsɝ.kəmˌstæns/, aggravate /ˈæɡ.ɹə.veɪ̯t/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come podcast, unravel, knot.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.