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1
This is unbelievable, Thieves.
2
How can you be married?
3
Well, I mean, I'm not married married, you know?
4
He was just a friend, and he's gay, and he was from Canada, and he just needed a green card.
5
I can't believe you married Duncan.
6
I mean, how could you not tell me?
7
We lived together.
8
We told each other everything.
9
I'm sorry, Monica, but I know if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgmental, and you would not approve.
10
Of course I wouldn't approve.
11
I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay.
12
I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
13
See, and you thought she'd be judgmental.
14
Okay, I wasn't in love with him, and I was just helping out a friend.
15
Please, when he left town, you stayed in your pajamas for a month.
16
And I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
17
Well, didn't you?
18
I might have.
19
Oh, that's a lady.
20
Where are you going?
21
Um, I'm gonna go meet Duncan.
22
He's skating tonight at the garden.
23
He's in the capets.
24
The ice capades?
25
No, no, the gravel capades.
26
Yeah, the turns aren't as fast, but when Snoopy falls, bunny.
27
I can't believe you're dressing up for him.
28
I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again.
29
Okay, no. For your information, I'm going to see him so I can put all those feelings behind me.
30
Okay, and the reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice to look nice for your gay husband.
31
Hi.
32
Phoebe!
33
Ta-da!
34
Hi.
35
God, look at you.
36
You look great. Do I?
37
Yeah.
38
Thank you.
39
So do you.
40
Thanks.
41
Sparkly.
42
So, um, so what's up?
43
You came to see me yesterday.
44
Oh, yeah, um...
45
All right.
46
I kind of need a divorce.
47
Oh.
48
Okay.
49
How come?
50
Um, actually, I'm getting married again.
51
What?
52
Oh, God, I don't know how to tell you this.
53
I'm straight.
54
Yeah, I know.
55
I don't understand.
56
I don't understand.
57
How can you be straight?
58
I mean, you're so smart and funny, and you throw such great Academy Award parties, you know?
59
That's what I kept telling myself, but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.
60
So how long have you known?
61
Well, I guess on some level, I always knew I was straight, but...
62
I thought I was supposed to be something else.
63
You know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay.
64
I was just trying to fit in, you know?
65
And, um, and there's actually a woman?
66
Her name's Deborah.
67
Oh.
68
Well, is she the first that you've been with?
69
Well, I've never told you this, but there were one or two times back in college
70
when I'd get really drunk and go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me.
71
But I told myself it was the liquor and everyone experiments in college.
72
Sure.
73
But now I know I don't have a choice about this.
74
I was born this way.
75
I don't know what to say.
76
I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him, and then one day he says, oh, I'm not gay.
77
Have you told your parents?
78
No, but it'll be okay.
79
They're pretty cool.
80
My brother's straight so...
81
Here you go.
82
You know what, I just have one more question.
83
Um, if you had figured this out sooner and, um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who...
84
No, no. That's all right, don't tell me.
85
I don't think either answer would make me feel better. So, here.
86
I love you, Phoebe.
87
So your brother's straight, huh?
88
Seriously.
89
Hello, yeah.
90
It's time for your massage, yeah.
91
Put your face in the hole.
92
Oh, a Swedish massage from a real Swedish person.
93
Huh.
94
Okay, then I'm Swedish. So, what's your name?
95
It's a normal Swedish name.
96
Ikea.
97
Wow, what an interesting name.
98
Yeah, you know, I'm time for your scalp massage.
99
Oh.
100
Wow.
101
I really love your... Is something wrong?
102
No, it's just, um...
103
It just feels so good.
104
Ikea.
105
Yeah.
106
Oh, hey, say, you'll know this.
107
What's the capital of Sweden?
108
Um...
109
Stockholm.
110
Damn, I wish I knew if that was right.
111
Hey, Rachel, get me perfume.
112
Okay.
113
And, Jewy, could you get me a bottle of wine and glasses?
114
All right, it'll be great.
115
You just make her think you want to have sex with her, and it'll totally figure out.
116
Okay, listen, how far am I going to have to go with her?
117
Relax.
118
She's going to give in way before you do.
119
How do you know?
120
Because you're on my team, and my team always wins. At this?
121
Just go get some.
122
Go.
123
Okay, honey.
124
No, I'm going to try to listen from right here.
125
Okay.
126
Okay.
127
Oh, wait.
128
Good idea.
129
Yeah.
130
Oh, wait.
131
Don't give away the phone.
132
Okay.
133
Phoebe.
134
Chandler.
135
Come on in.
136
I was going to.
137
Um, I brought some wine.
138
Would you like some?
139
Sure. So here we are.
140
Nervous?
141
Me?
142
No. You?
143
No. I want this to happen. So do I.
144
Oh, you're going?
145
Um, not without you, lover.
146
So, this is my bra.
147
It's very, very nice.
148
Well, come here.
149
I'm very happy we're gonna have all the sex.
150
You should be.
151
I'm very bendy.
152
I'm gonna kiss you now.
153
Not if I kiss you first.
154
Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but kiss.
155
Here it comes.
156
Our first kiss?
157
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, you win.
158
I can't have sex with you.
159
And why not?
160
Because I'm in love with Monica.
161
You're what?
162
Love her.
163
That's right.
164
I love her.
165
I love her.
166
I love you, Monica.
167
I love you too, Chandler.
168
I just, I thought you guys were doing it.
169
I didn't know you were in love.
170
Dude.
171
And hats off to Phoebe.
172
Quite a competitor.
173
And may I say your breasts are still short.
174
God.
175
Oh, God, okay.
176
Surprise!
177
What the hell are you doing?
178
You scared the crap out of me. Was that the kid?
179
Yeah, yeah.
180
I got a lemon smush.
181
Come on, she'll be here any minute.
182
I hope it's okay.
183
Happy birthday, Pee-hee.
184
Well, maybe we can make a bee out of one of those roses.
185
Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools.
186
Hey, what's going on?
187
We just...
188
Surprise!
189
Surprise!
190
Surprise!
191
It's so great!
192
Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before.
193
So I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you could tell him.
194
Go!
195
What?
196
Hey, wait a minute.
197
Baby, how do you even know who the father is?
198
I may play the fool at times, but I'm a little more than just a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won't quit.
199
I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
200
Oh, God.
201
Oh, he's in there right now?
202
Uh-huh.
203
Or you can turn around, or you can go in there and rip the Band-Aid off.
204
What do you want to do?
205
Let's rip.
206
Really?
207
Are you sure?
208
Oh, Phoebe.
209
Okay, sorry.
210
Yeah.
211
Hey, Rach. So what's this about?
212
Rachel has something that she wants to tell you, and, um, I believe that this is your red sweater?
213
No. This is my red sweater.
214
Oh, no. Could I get anyone a coffee? Or poison?
215
No, just for me?
216
Okay.
217
What's going on, Rach?
218
Nothing.
219
Phoebe kind of made a mistake.
220
But, you know, you do wear that sweater a lot.
221
Are you involved in some kind of dare?
222
You know, I'm actually glad Phoebe called.
223
I know we broke up because you thought I wasn't mature enough, but I've really grown up, and I think we should get back together.
224
Oh, it's just not the right time.
225
It is the right time.
226
Okay.
227
I'm ready for more.
228
Tag.
229
Come on, Rach.
230
Let's give it another try.
231
I'm having a baby.
232
Oh.
233
You can go.
234
Thank you.
235
Oh.
236
Oh.
237
Excuse me, ma'am.
238
Yes.
239
You can't put your cigarette out on a tree.
240
Yeah, I can.
241
It worked real well.
242
No, but you shouldn't.
243
So don't ever do that again.
244
I won't.
245
Until I have my next cigarette.
246
Hold it.
247
NYPD freeze, punk.
248
What?
249
That's right.
250
You are so busted.
251
Good.
252
Book him.
253
Who are you talking to?
254
Save it, Red.
255
Unless you want to spend a night in the slam or you apologize to the tree.
256
I am not going to apologize to a tree.
257
You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup.
258
Backup!
259
Backup!
260
I'm sorry.
261
Sorry.
262
OK, cancel backup.
263
Cancel backup.
264
I'm sorry, Mike.
265
We're here.
266
Okay, if Mike were here, what would the two of you be doing?
267
What are you, animals?
268
It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
269
I gotta call him.
270
Just to talk to him.
271
There's no harm in that.
272
Phoebe, that's how it starts.
273
I don't need to eat the cake.
274
I'll just smell the icing.
275
Why not just a little sliver or...
276
Okay, just a slice or two.
277
You know, the next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide.
278
Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard.
279
But look, if you talk to him, then you're gonna want to see him.
280
And if you see him, you're gonna want to get back together with him.
281
And I know that's not what you want.
282
All right, so give me your phone.
283
Here. And now your cell.
284
Okay.
285
This is your cell phone.
286
Yes.
287
This is your current cell phone.
288
Yes.
289
It reminds me of a simpler time.
290
Phoebe, where's your purse?
291
Hey.
292
No. No. Give it to me.
293
You can't have it.
294
Give it to me.
295
No. I'll go in there.
296
Oh, yeah.
297
Phoebe, come here.
298
No. Give it to me.
299
You're.. it's gone.
300
Whoa.
301
Whoa.
302
Ah.
303
Ha.
304
Damn you, Monica Geller, hyphen Bing.
305
This is a pity.
306
Why are there men's shoes by the door?
307
Those are my shoes.
308
Oh.
309
When you get over this breakup, we need to go shopping.
310
Look, Monica, I really appreciate you checking in but I'm actually feeling a lot better.
311
You're it?
312
Yeah, I-I just kinda wanna be alone right now.
313
Who's that?
314
I ordered Chinese food.
315
What are the chances?
316
One billion Chinese people and they said Mike!
317
What are you doing here?
318
Phoebe called me.
319
Phoebe!
320
I'm sorry, I broke down.
321
I wanted to see him.
322
Damn it, Phoebe, how did you even call him?
323
There's a speakerphone on the base unit.
324
Base unit?
325
Think, Monica, think!
326
Look, if I want to see Phoebe and she wants to see me...
327
This doesn't concern you.
328
Oh, sorry.
329
I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name.
330
Look, guys, you can't do this.
331
It's just gonna make getting over each other that much harder.
332
Not if nothing happens.
333
Why can't.. why can't we just hang out as friends?
334
by sure I'm just gonna hang out as friends then maybe I'll join you yeah I'm your friend
335
and Mike's friend oh whoa whoa whoa whoa make room for your friend
336
So how have you been?
337
I've been pretty good.
338
I'm going to ask you to get back together, because I know we want different things.
339
But just to be with you one more night.
340
I know, I want that too.
341
But is that going to make it too hard?
342
It can't be any harder than this.
343
I mean, if I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time I...
344
I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you moved, everything about you.
345
If I had known the last time I kissed you would be the last time...
346
I never would have stopped.
347
Kiss him, you fool!
348
What?
349
Didn't you hear that speech?
350
If you don't kiss him, then I will.
351
I miss you so much.
352
I knew you'd be here.
353
Oh, crap.
354
Who is this?
355
It's my friend Manny.
356
I asked him to keep me away from you.
357
Hey, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe.
358
Well, you're not doing a very good job.
359
Excuse me?
360
What's with the kissing?
361
Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.
362
Oh, yeah.
363
Yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing.
364
You didn't hear the speech.
365
I've heard the speech.
366
If he knew it was gonna be the last time he saw her...
367
Hey, it was very moving.
368
You're just heartless.
369
You're weak.
370
You're weird.
371
Your pants are undone.
372
Oh!
373
I have to tie my shoe, so you go ahead.
374
I'll catch up.
375
Okay, okay.
376
Come on, let's start running!
377
Let's go!
378
You guys, I'm telling you, when she runs, she looks like a cross between Kermit the Frog and the $6 million man.
379
Monica had such a crush on him that she used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed.
380
Oh, I used to do that, too!
381
Did you also have his album, It's not easy being green.
382
Oh, my.
383
So, Phoebe runs weird, huh?
384
Yeah, yeah, you know what?
385
And I know she's gonna wanna run again.
386
I just don't know how to get out of it.
387
I mean, I live with her.
388
Why don't you just be straight with her?
389
Tell her the truth.
390
You're right.
391
You're right.
392
I should just tell her the truth.
393
Hey.
394
Hey.
395
Hey, Phoebe, Monica tripped me.
396
I don't think I can ever run again, ever.
397
Why?
398
Why would you do that?
399
I don't know.
400
Rachel, I'm sorry that I hurt your ankles.
401
Ankle?
402
We'll see.
403
Hi.
404
Oh, yeah, hello.
405
It's me.
406
I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out.
407
You lied so you could run by yourself.
408
No, no, Phoebe, no. I was...
409
No. You know what?
410
You know what?
411
I was actually just checking to see if I could run, and I can!
412
Please, Rachel, I am not an idiot.
413
No, wait, Phoebe!
414
Hey, Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
415
Sure.
416
Okay.
417
Um...
418
Phoebe, look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, okay?
419
Okay?
420
I handled the situation horribly, and I should not have lied to you.
421
So what should you have done?
422
Well, I should have told you the truth.
423
Uh-huh, which is...
424
Well, you know, the reason that I didn't want to go running with you is because,
425
um, well, you know, the way that you run is just a little... So?
426
Well, it's embarrassing were looking at us like we were crazy.
427
Why do you care?
428
Because they're people.
429
But people that you don't know and will never see again.
430
Yes, but still, they are people with eyes.
431
Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss...
432
But, oh, okay.
433
No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you.
434
Yeah, okay.
435
You're uptight.
436
Well, I am not uptight.
437
I am not uptight, man.
438
That's okay, Rachel.
439
I'm not judging you.
440
That's just who you are.
441
Me, I'm more free.
442
You know, I run like I did when I was a kid.
443
Because that's the only way it's fun.
444
You know?
445
I mean, didn't you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off?
446
You know, like when you were, like, running toward the swings or running away from Satan?
447
The neighbor's dog.
448
Hey!
449
Hey!
450
Hey!
451
Help me!
452
I'm so sorry.
453
You were right.
454
This feels great.
455
See?
456
And you don't care if people are staring.
457
It's just for a second, because then you're gone.
458
God!
459
I mean, it's amazing, Pete.
460
I feel so free and so graceful.
461
Oh!
462
Hey, look out for the horse.
463
I wish you'd have an anniversary ever.
464
Well, good.
465
All right, you decided to tell about the Richard thing.
466
What.. what Richard thinks?
467
Oh, no. What Richard thinks?
468
Simmons.
469
Go Simmons.
470
Okay, I, um, I ran into Richard yesterday, and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite, and I did.
471
And the only reason why I didn't tell you is
472
because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
473
I'm not mad.
474
Really?
475
Oh, yeah.
476
Yeah, so you bumped into Richard.
477
You grabbed a bite.
478
Don't be a deal.
479
Great.
480
Okay, London one.
481
Hey, guys.
482
Hey, sweetie.
483
Ready to go?
484
Yeah, sure.
485
Ooh, I left my purse up at Monica's.
486
I'll be right back.
487
Wait a minute.
488
What?
489
Oh.
490
Ooh.
491
Ooh.
492
Whoa. That one kept going.
493
So, you and Phoebe, huh?
494
How long have you been going out?
495
Over a month.
496
Wow.
497
How long have you been going out?
498
Over a month.
499
Wow.
500
Maybe you and I ought to get to know each other a little better.
501
Sure.
502
I'd like that.
503
Yeah. So, uh...
504
What's your name?
505
It's Jake.
506
Joey.
507
Hey, Jake.
508
Do you like the Knicks?
509
Yeah, big fan.
510
Me too.
511
There's a game on Tuesday.
512
You wanna go?
513
Yeah, that'd be great.
514
Let me make sure I'm not doing anything Tuesday.
515
Hey.
516
Hey.
517
Listen, you know how, uh, when you're wearing pants and you lean forward, I check out your underwear?
518
Yeah.
519
Well, when Jake did it, I saw that he was wearing women's underwear.
520
I know.
521
They were mine.
522
Oh.
523
No, no, wait.
524
That's weird.
525
No, it's not.
526
We were just goofing around, and I dared him to try them on.
527
That's weird.
528
I'm wearing his briefs right now.
529
That's kind of hot.
530
I think so, too.
531
And that little flap?
532
Great for holding my lipstick.
533
Yeah, I wouldn't know about that.
534
And, you know, Jake says that women's underwear is actually more comfortable.
535
And he loves the way the silk feels against his skin.
536
Yeah, well, next thing you know, I'll be telling you that your high heels are good for his posture.
537
There is nothing wrong with Jake, okay?
538
He is all man.
539
I'm thinking even more than you.
540
Oh, yeah, he looked like a real lumberjack in those pink laces.
541
I'm just saying that only a man completely secure with his masculinity could walk around in women's underwear.
542
I don't think you could ever do that.
543
Hey, I am secure with my masculinity.
544
Okay, whatever.
545
You've seen my huge stack of porn, right? And...
546
Hey, Phoebs.
547
Hey.
548
Check it out.
549
Huh?
550
How much of a man am I?
551
Wow, nice.
552
manly and also kind of a slut.
553
You know, I'm beginning to see what Jake was talking about.
554
The silk feels really good.
555
Yeah, and things aren't as smashed down as I thought they were going to be.
556
That's great, Joe.
557
Yeah, and you have so many more choices than you do with men's underwear.
558
Bikini, French cut, thong, and the fabrics.
559
You got cotton, silk, lace.
560
And you know what I've always wondered about?
561
Hmm?
562
Pantyhose.
563
You know, the way they start at your toe and then they go all the way up to...
564
I should go take these off, shouldn't I?
565
I think it's important that you do.
566
Feel better?
567
Yeah, much.
568
Listen, uh, not that I'm insecure about my manhood or anything, you know, but, uh, I think I need to hook up with a woman, like, right now.
569
Yeah, I understand.
570
No way.
571
Hey.
572
Hi.
573
Hi.
574
You look familiar.
575
Do I know you from somewhere?
576
I don't think so.
577
Oh, maybe it's because I'm on television.
578
I'm an actor on Days of Our Lives.
579
Wow.
580
Really?
581
Mm-hmm.
582
$4.50, please.
583
Oh, let me get this.
584
These are for you.
585
Don't you think you've had enough to drink?
586
I'm just helping the kids.
587
How is you drinking helping the kids?
588
Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
589
Mr. Tribbiani.
590
What?
591
Your generous contribution brings us a big step closer to building the youth center.
592
Just out of curiosity, how much is that boat worth?
593
I think it was valued at 19,000.
594
Yeah, that was pretty close.
595
Uh, so, bad news.
596
Um, I can't buy the boat.
597
I don't have any money.
598
Leper, rup, rup.
599
Still learning.
600
One, two, three, four!
601
You know the song.
602
Sing along!
603
Phoebe!
604
Phoebe!
605
Phoebe!
606
Phoebe!
607
Phoebe! So?
608
No!
609
Phoebe!
610
Phoebe!
611
Phoebe!
612
Hey, Chandler, why so fancy?
613
Well, I got a job interview.
614
It's kind of a big deal, too.
615
It's a lot more money, and I'd be doing data reconfiguration doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.
616
Wait, I think I know someone who does that.
617
Me?
618
I do that.
619
So, seriously, do I look okay?
620
I'm a little nervous.
621
Oh, yeah, you really look great.
622
You know, just don't get your help, sir.
623
Why not?
624
Well, the interview.
625
What about it?
626
You know.
627
You don't make a very good first impression.
628
What?
629
Oh, you don't know. Are you serious?
630
Yes, I mean, when I first met you, you were like, blah, blah, blah, blah.
631
I was like, shh.
632
What is it that I do?
633
Well, it's just like you're trying too hard, always making jokes.
634
You know, you just, you come off a little needy.
635
Did you like me when we first met?
636
Chandler, I'm not gonna lie to you.
637
But I am gonna run away from you.
638
All right, check out this bad boy.
639
12 megabytes of RAM, 500 megabyte hard drive, built-in spreadsheet capabilities, and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS.
640
Wow.
641
What are you gonna use it for?
642
Games and stuff.
643
There are no jobs.
644
There are no jobs for me.
645
Oh, wait, here's one.
646
Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
647
There's an ad for a naked chef?
648
No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked then
649
all right hey hey oh so um how'd you make out last night
650
that that is funny that is painfully funny no wait wait yeah that's just painful
651
i thought last night was great yeah it was
652
but i get home okay and i see julie's sailing solution on my night table, and I'm thinking to myself, oh, my God, what the hell am I doing?
653
I mean, here I am.
654
I'm with Julie, this incredible, great woman who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
655
You got all that from saline solution?
656
Wait a minute.
657
We're talking about Rachel here.
658
You and Rachel.
659
Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for, like, ten years now, but now I'm with Julie.
660
You know, so it's like me and Julie, me and Rachel.
661
Me and Julie, me and Ra...
662
Rachel?
663
Rachel?
664
Hey, you.
665
How are you?
666
Good.
667
How are you?
668
Good.
669
Hi, honey.
670
Hi, Julie.
671
Hi, Julie!
672
Julie?
673
Um, how are you?
674
Good.
675
Good.
676
So everybody's here.
677
Everybody's good.
678
So were you gonna play something, Phoebe?
679
No. Well, actually...
680
Play it.
681
All right.
682
Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses.
683
What?
684
Shh.
685
Okay.
686
Um, hi.
687
Hello.
688
Hi.
689
Okay.
690
So, um, this is a song,
691
um, about a love triangle between three people that I made up.
692
Um, it's called, um, Two of Them Kissed Last Night.
693
There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy, let's call him Neil.
694
Now, I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real.
695
Now, Arneal must decide Who will be the girl
696
that he casts aside Will Betty be the one who he loves truly
697
Or will it be the one who we'll call Lululee He must decide,
698
he must decide Even though I made him up, he must decide No, you just be yourself They live on the Upper East Side on Park Avenue Oh,
699
yeah, she can't be herself Okay, so, all right, which dress?
700
You can say neither.
701
Oh, God, neither.
702
Neither.
703
I'm sorry, honey.
704
We're gonna take you shopping.
705
It's gonna be fine.
706
Yeah, totally.
707
You are in such good hands, and I am so good with meeting parents.
708
With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way.
709
Uh-huh.
710
Just kind of like, oh, Mr. Pinser.
711
I can see where Wallace gets his good looks.
712
You went out with Wallace Pinser?
713
Oh, he took the SATs for me.
714
I knew you didn't get a $1,400.
715
Well, duh.
716
So, now, what about with Mike's mom?
717
Oh, well, with the mother, just constantly tell her how amazing her son is.
718
Take it from me, moms love me.
719
Ross' mom one time actually said, I am like the daughter that she never had.
720
She said what?
721
That she's like the daughter she never had.
722
Um, Chandler, Ross, this is Robert.
723
Oh, hey.
724
Hey, hi.
725
You have lipstick right here.
726
Oh.
727
That's okay, it's mine.
728
We just kissed.
729
So isn't it a bit cold out for shorts?
730
Well, I'm from California.
731
Right, right.
732
Sometimes you guys just burst into flame.
733
I'm up.
734
I'm up.
735
I ain't gotten up now.
736
Anybody want anything?
737
I'll have coffee.
738
Yeah, me too.
739
Yeah, make that three.
740
Okay.
741
Ross, why don't you come with me?
742
Okay.
743
What is the matter with you?
744
What's going on?
745
Robert's coming out.
746
What do you mean?
747
What, is he gay?
748
He's coming out of his shorts.
749
What?
750
The man is showing brain. Are you sure?
751
Hold on.
752
I'm sorry, you guys.
753
That was a coffee and a...
754
Coffee.
755
Okay.
756
We could write it down for you.
757
that won't be uh won't be necessary
758
well yeah yeah yeah what do we do what do we
759
do i suppose we just try to not look directly at it like an eclipse Hi.
760
Hey.
761
Hey.
762
So, what's the final head count on my baby shower? About 20.
763
A couple people from work who had something else to do.
764
Also, both of your sisters called, and neither can make it.
765
What?
766
You mean they're not coming to a social event where there's no men and no booze?
767
That's shocking.
768
Well, I don't care.
769
As long as my mom's here.
770
Oh, my God.
771
Your mother.
772
What?
773
My mom's not gonna be here?
774
Well, given that we forgot to invite her, it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
775
My God!
776
Well, it wasn't my fault.
777
Phoebe was in charge of the invitations.
778
Well, I don't have a mother, so often I forget that other people...
779
Oh, give it a rest.
780
So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?
781
No. Neither is mine.
782
You know what?
783
Don't worry, okay?
784
We'll take care of it.
785
We'll call her.
786
You just go home and get ready.
787
Please, make sure she comes.
788
That's really important to me.
789
I mean, that's my mom.
790
I know, I know.
791
What's her number?
792
I don't know.
793
Go.
794
I have my book.
795
Go.
796
Wait a minute.
797
If you're in charge of the invitations, why am I the one who has to call her?
798
Hello, Mrs. Green.
799
Hi, it's Monica Geller.
800
Oh, hello, Monica.
801
Hi.
802
I know this is last minute, but we've decided to throw an impromptu a baby shower for Rachel today.
803
I know.
804
My daughters told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
805
I'm sorry.
806
I'm so sorry.
807
For what, dear?
808
For not inviting me or for lying about it?
809
Oh, my God.
810
My ass is sweating.
811
Please, please.
812
Can you come?
813
It's today at 4.
814
Well, all right.
815
I'll see you at 4.
816
Thank you.
817
Isn't it at 3?
818
Son of a bitch!
819
Hey, what have you guys been up to?
820
Oh, we went to a self-defense class today.
821
Wow.
822
Yeah, kicking a guy in the crotch all morning really takes it out of you.
823
Takes it out of you.
824
Now we can kick anybody's ass.
825
After one class?
826
I don't think so.
827
What?
828
You want to see me self-defend myself?
829
Go over there and pretend you're a sexual predator.
830
Go on, I dare you!
831
Of course you could defend yourself from an attack you know is coming.
832
That's not enough.
833
Look, I studied karate for a long time.
834
And there's a concept you should really be familiar with.
835
It's what the Japanese call unagi.
836
Isn't that a kind of sushi?
837
No, it's a concept.
838
Yeah, it is, it is.
839
It's freshwater eel.
840
All right, maybe it means that, too.
841
Oh, I would kill for a salmon skin roll right now.
842
No, fine.
843
Get attacked.
844
I don't even care.
845
Come on, Ross.
846
We're sorry.
847
Please tell us what it is.
848
Unagi is a state of total awareness.
849
Okay?
850
Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you.
851
You mean in case someone's trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?
852
All I'm saying is it's one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other, whole nother story being prepared for an attack.
853
I don't know, like surprise!
854
All right, you knew that was coming, but that doesn't mean you have unagi.
855
Ooh, you know what?
856
If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half hour.
857
You know what?
858
It was time.
859
I'm gonna have to last.
860
Danger!
861
Danger!
862
What the hell was that?
863
A lesson in the importance of unagi.
864
Oh, you're a freak.
865
Perhaps.
866
Now I'm curious, at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
867
All right, so we weren't prepared.
868
I'm sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but, look, I just want you guys to be safe.
869
Oh.
870
Danger!
871
Uh-huh.
872
Unagi.
873
Danger!
874
Ah.
875
Salmon skin roll.
876
Cat Sajak?
877
Yep.
878
Alex Trebek?
879
Oh, of course.
880
Chuck Woolery?
881
Definitely, Phoebe.
882
You will not find a single game show host whose ass I cannot kick.
883
Oh!
884
Say it!
885
Say we are, Iwanagi!
886
It's not something you are, it's something you have!
887
Say it!
888
You know what, I can easily get out of this, but there's a chance you can get very, very hurt!
889
Oh!
890
Uh-huh.
891
Nowhere to run.
892
I don't like sitting up here.
893
I'm gonna go over the...
894
No, wait till they got here first!
895
Why is Ross doing that?
896
Danger!
897
Oh, my God!
898
Why is he jumping on those women?
899
We should help them.
900
I don't think they need any help.
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O Cenário: Uma Conversa Intima Entre Amigas
No vídeo, Phoebe e Monica discutem um segredo surpreendente: Phoebe se casou com um amigo gay canadense para ajudá-lo a obter uma green card. Essa situação cotidiana, cheia de emoções e ironia, é perfeita para praticar conversação em inglês, pois reflete como falamos na vida real — com interrupções, expressões coloquiais e sentimentos autênticos. É o tipo de diálogo que ajuda a entender não só a língua, mas também as nuances culturais e sociais.
Trechos Úteis e Colocações para Memorizar
- "I'm not married married": Uma repetição para enfatizar que o casamento não era "de verdade". Essa estrutura é comum em inglês para minimizar uma situação.
- "get really judgmental": Significa "ficar muito julgador(a)". É uma collocation útil para descrever como alguém reage a decisões de outrem.
- "put all those feelings behind me": Expressão para "deixar os sentimentos no passado". Ideal para falar sobre superar situações emocionais.
- "setting yourself up": Significa "se expor a um risco". Monica usa essa frase para alertar Phoebe sobre possíveis decepções.
Seu Desafio de Shadow Speech
Agora é hora de praticar! O shadow speech (ou shadowing) é uma técnica incrível para melhorar a pronúncia em inglês e a fluência. Aqui está sua tarefa: reproduza a conversa entre Phoebe e Monica, imitando a entonação, o ritmo e até os gestos. Pause o vídeo a cada frase, repita em seguida e tente coincidir exatamente com o timing dos atores. Isso ajuda a treinar o ouvido e a boca a se mover como um falante nativo. Lembre-se: a prática de conversação em inglês com vídeos é uma das formas mais divertidas e eficazes de aprender. Você vai notar a diferença rápido — e se divertir com a história de Phoebe e seu "marido gay"!
Não se preocupe se não acertar de primeira. O importante é persistir. Cada repetição traz você mais perto de uma pronúncia clara e uma conversação mais natural. Vamos lá: aperte play e comece a shadowar!
Gramática neste vídeo
As estruturas que o falante mais usa, com as palavras exatas do vídeo:
| Estrutura | No vídeo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — uma ação que começou antes e continua | have you been going · I've been dreaming |
| Frases condicionais if + oração, will/would + verbo — uma condição e seu resultado | if Mike were here, what would the · If you don't kiss him, then I will |
| “Used to” used to + verbo — um hábito ou estado do passado que não é mais verdade | used to kiss · used to do |
| Present perfect have/has + particípio passado — uma ação passada que ainda importa agora | have you known · you've been · I've never told |
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.