Практика Shadowing: When an Anxious Attachment Dates an Avoidant - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео
Создание урока...
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Let's be so real right now.
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If you're not already in a happy relationship, chances are you're looking for the one.
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Your soulmate.
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Your peanut butter to your jelly.
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Depending on how you were raised, you may have developed a particular attachment style which we, unfortunately, bring with us into the dating search.
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We've talked about them before on this channel, but let's recap the four main attachment styles.
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Secure.
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A long and healthy relationship.
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This is the one we all strive for.
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Avoidant.
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Can't build long-term relationships, avoids any type of intimacy.
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Anxious, codependent and scared of rejection or abandonment.
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Disorganized, trouble trusting others and changing behaviors.
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We're going to focus on avoidant and anxious attachments
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and we'll see what happens when these two attachment styles end up in a relationship.
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You want a hug?
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Ew.
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Avoidant attachment is arguably the most difficult attachment style to have a relationship with.
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Like the other attachment styles, it's developed due to the way their caregivers raised them.
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This doesn't mean their caregivers ignored or avoided their child.
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The caregivers avoided any display of emotion or intimacy with a child.
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Think of a child falling down, scraping their knee, and crying.
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Sometimes, children cry out of fear or shock, not necessarily due to pain.
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Adults know this.
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Instead of comforting the child and helping them realize that they're alright, the caregivers may see something like, you'd better stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.
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This lets the child know that what just happened isn't a valid reason for tears, and crying should be reprimanded.
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In the future, the child may not want to show sadness or let see them cry.
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This is also the same for parents who may not give hugs or physical intimacy to their child.
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In an adult relationship, avoidant attachment can show up as a strong sense of independence, avoiding emotional or physical intimacy,
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feeling threatened by anyone who attempts to be close, and a belief that they don't need anyone.
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Are we out of the woods?
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Taylor Swift's song, Out of the Woods, was a bit of a controversial one when it came out.
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For such a talented lyricist, a lot of people were disappointed with the chorus.
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If you haven't heard it, the song's chorus is just Taylor repeating, Are we out of the woods? and Are we in the clear?
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At first glance, it seems a little easy, but once I found out the reason, I was gagged.
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They depict the level of anxiety
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and codependency in a toxic relationship the lines were repeated over
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and over to mimic the cyclical feeling of the relationship's ups and downs.
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This is a great way to describe anxious attachment.
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Those with anxious attachment may have had caregivers that went from being attentive to indifferent to the child.
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These caregivers may have also gone overwhelmed easily or possibly blamed the child for being the reason why they're overwhelmed or upset.
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In a relationship, an anxious attachment can manifest as being clingy to their partner, needing approval from their partner, being scared of actual or perceived criticism and judgement,
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and having feelings of unworthiness.
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Put them together and what do we have?
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The dating world is crazy and beautiful all at once.
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One of the beautiful things is that we get to meet people from all walks of life.
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The crazy thing is that we have to find ways to work together to create that healthy relationship.
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What if an anxious attachment, let's name her Amy, and an avoidant attachment, let's name him Mark, got together?
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What would happen?
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As an avoidant, Mark never received any signs of physical or emotional intimacy from his caregivers.
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Whenever Amy goes to give him a hug or a kiss just because, he moves out of the way or cringes.
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Because Amy is incredibly sensitive to rejection, she now believes that Mark is upset with her or possibly doesn't love her anymore.
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As an anxious attachment with codependent tendencies, Amy wants Mark to come with her to the grocery store.
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She figures they can make a day out of it.
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Mark immediately declines because he can do his errands on his own.
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So should Amy.
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These two consistently trigger past wounds from each other's childhood, but they don't realize it.
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They're also not communicating these pain points with each other.
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Unfortunately, if they don't communicate, they will continue unknowingly hurting and invalidating each other.
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In the relationship, it will quickly spiral into an unhealthy, toxic one.
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I don't know about you, but Amy and Mark's relationship seemed miserable.
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Now let's clarify that any kind of individual with any kind of attachment style can be in a relationship with anyone.
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However, the trick is to communicate with your partner
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and even a mental health professional to see how you can work through your attachment style
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and how to make work with your partner.
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Have you ever been in this relationship dynamic?
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Should we do another video like this with another combo of attachment styles?
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Let us know in the comments.
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And don't forget to like, subscribe, and share with a friend.
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See you next time.
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Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку
Этот урок разговорной практики уровня B2 построен на видео «When an Anxious Attachment Dates an Avoidant». Чаще всего повторяются слова: attachment, relationship, style, caregivers, anxious. В этом видео 70 предложений и 865 слов для шедоуинга. Речь длится 4:29. Говорящий говорит быстро, около 193 слов в минуту, поэтому звуки часто сливаются и сокращаются. Только 79% слов входят в 3000 самых частых слов английского языка, поэтому лексика сложная.
Ключевая лексика этого видео
Самые сложные слова из видео (15), с произношением и значением:
| Слово | Произношение | Значение |
|---|---|---|
| attachment существительное | /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/ | привя́занность, ве́рность |
| anxious прилагательное | /ˈæŋkʃəs/ | озабо́ченный, беспоко́ящийся |
| intimacy существительное | /ˈɪn.tɪ.mə.si/ | бли́зость, инти́мность |
| overwhelm глагол | /ˌoʊ.vɚˈwɛlm/ | поглоща́ть, зава́ливать |
| rejection существительное | /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/ | отка́з, отклоне́ние |
| scare глагол | /skɛɚ/ | пуга́ть, испуга́ть |
| abandonment существительное | /əˈbæn.d(ə)n.m(ə)nt/ | оставле́ние, отка́з |
| attentive прилагательное | /əˈtɛntɪv/ | внима́тельный |
| depict глагол | /dɪˈpɪkt/ | изобража́ть, изобрази́ть |
| errand существительное | /ˈɛɹənd/ | поруче́ние, зада́ние |
| indifferent прилагательное | /ɪnˈdɪf.ɹənt/ | посре́дственный |
| lyricist существительное | /ˈlɪɹ.ɪsɪst/ | ли́рик |
| reprimand существительное | /ˈɹɛpɹɪmɑːnd/ | вы́говор, взыска́ние |
| scrape глагол | /skɹeɪp/ | скрести́, поскрести́ |
| soulmate существительное | задуше́вный друг, задуше́вная подру́га |
Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите
| Слово | Произношение | Значение |
|---|---|---|
| come out глагол | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | выходи́ть, вы́йти |
| fall down глагол | /fɔl ˈdaʊn/ | па́дать, упа́сть |
| find out глагол | узнава́ть, узна́ть | |
| show up глагол | объявля́ться, объяви́ться |
Фразы, которые стоит повторять
Короткие законченные фразы из видео, которые пригодятся в повседневном разговоре:
- Let's be so real right now.
- You want a hug?
- Are we out of the woods?
- Put them together and what do we have?
- Have you ever been in this relationship dynamic?
Грамматика в этом видео
Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:
| Конструкция | В видео |
|---|---|
| Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает | were raised · should be reprimanded · were disappointed |
| Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас | We've talked · haven't heard |
Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание
Говорящий использует 20 сокращённых и редуцированных форм, например don't, they're, doesn't. Произносите их коротко, так, как слышите.
- Звуки «th»: unhealthy /ʌnˈhɛl.θi/, threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/
- Звуки «sh» и «zh»: anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, rejection /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/
- Длинные слова — следите за ударением: intimacy /ˈɪn.tɪ.mə.si/, abandonment /əˈbæn.d(ə)n.m(ə)nt/, disorganized /dɪsˈɔːɡənaɪzd/, invalidate /ɪnˈvæl.əˌdeɪt/, unknowingly /ʌnˈnəʊ.ɪŋ.li/
Звуки, трудные для русскоязычных:
- /h/ — лёгкий выдох, а не русское «х»: unhealthy /ʌnˈhɛl.θi/, hug /hʌɡ/
- Звонкие согласные в конце слова — не оглушайте их: attentive /əˈtɛntɪv/, disorganized /dɪsˈɔːɡənaɪzd/, errand /ˈɛɹənd/, reprimand /ˈɹɛpɹɪmɑːnd/, gag /ɡæɡ/
Как заниматься с этим видео
- Прослушайте всё видео один раз молча и выпишите незнакомые слова.
- Начните со скорости 0,75×, повторяйте предложение за предложением и вернитесь к обычной скорости, когда станет легко.
- Запишите себя и сравните с оригиналом, обращая внимание на такие слова, как attachment, anxious, intimacy.
Что такое техника Shadowing?
Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.