Luyện nói tiếng Anh bằng Shadowing qua video: Why People Don’t Respect You (Do This Instead)
Đang tạo bài học...
1
The more you try to get respect, the less of it you will probably wind up with.
2
And I know that might sound weird, so let me be more precise here.
3
Yes, you can absolutely learn to command more respect, but many of the most common ways people go about that just lead to them getting way less of it.
4
So I want to break down three of those most common respect -killing moves, and we're going to be using characters from the Peaky Blinders to illustrate those, including showing the better way from Tommy Shelby himself.
5
But first, we're going to start with the first respect killer coming from the Digbeth Kid.
6
Now, for context, this is someone who has come to Tommy looking for work.
7
No, I'm Digbeth Kid.
8
The Dig...
9
What are you, boxer?
10
Digbeth Kid, like Billy the Kid.
11
What are you...
12
Wait, wait.
13
It's not a real gun.
14
So, the Digbeth Kid, as he calls himself, comes in with a fake name and a fake gun.
15
He knows he's meeting Tommy Shelby, and so he's trying to appear dangerous, but his body language gives him away.
16
You can see his twitchy prey -like movements.
17
He shuffles from foot to foot, he can't decide where to look, and he holds his hat across his body like he's afraid of taking up too much space.
18
We've talked about this on the channel before, but these herky -jerky prey -like movements that you might see in a squirrel instantly signal internal unsafety.
19
So to avoid this, you can maintain eye contact, slow down your movements, and open up your stance.
20
And you see Tommy doing this throughout this entire video in comfortable settings and in high -pressure situations.
21
Please allow me to put a bullet in this scum tinker's head.
22
No, he's been chosen.
23
Could the chosen one smoke?
24
But back to the kid.
25
He is attempting to portray the facade of a hardened criminal because he thinks it's going to get him a job, but the facade actually causes a problem.
26
You've been arrested.
27
You see, the tough guy act nearly loses him the job.
28
It's only when he drops that and admits he's never been arrested
29
that he gets what he wants because his idea of what they're looking for is the complete opposite of what Tommy needs.
30
And this is just as true in all of our lives.
31
It can be very tempting to change what you say or how you act to appeal to others, especially in job interviews or dates or when you're talking to someone that you admire.
32
And in the short term, yes, it might work out.
33
But those facades have gaps, and eventually the gaps will get exposed.
34
And when those cracks show, the whole thing usually backfires.
35
So the first respect sin that you want to cut out is don't try to be what you think others want.
36
In fact, holding true and saying what you won't give other people often creates more respect.
37
This works because people trust and respect consistency.
38
Whatever short terms
39
that you gain from morphing yourself to become what other people want will just cost you respect
40
when that consistency breaks down the line.
41
And that brings us to the second respect issue coming from Billy Kimber.
42
Is there any man here named Shelby?
43
I said, is there any man here named Shelby?
44
Kimber enters loud and brash, and many people think this is how you command respect, by dominating everyone else in the room.
45
The problem is that this inevitably creates a combative frame where one side wins and the other side loses.
46
If you do this, you're going to either wind up surrounded by yes -men
47
that are down to lose all the time or in an argument.
48
Either way, you've got extremely fragile respect.
49
Tommy avoids this trap by rejecting the combative frame.
50
By not reacting to the gunshot with fear or anger and And instead calmly ordering drinks, he turns this confrontation into a discussion.
51
And you can follow the same plain book
52
when you sense someone is trying to get a rise from you with some sort of insult or a threat.
53
And it's a surprisingly simple move that pulls others into your frame.
54
You can watch how Tommy does it here.
55
I'm told the boss is called Tommy and I'm guessing that's you
56
because you're looking me up and down like I'm a fucking tart.
57
I want to know what you want.
58
You see, the frame of an insult or a threat is that you need to match their energy.
59
You have to reply super quickly and intensely in order to win in this combative frame.
60
But pausing before you speak, usually for 3 to 5 seconds, up to 10 or 15 if you need it, will allow you to reset the frame.
61
You can take a breath, center yourself, and then respond instead of react.
62
And to be clear here, a reaction means that you are being totally pulled into that other person's frame.
63
You're allowing them to set the tone and then dictate your behavior.
64
But a response means that you take in what the other person has said, but you're maintaining your frame.
65
You're replying on your own terms.
66
Now, Billy Kimber doesn't respond.
67
He reacts to any perceived challenge.
68
Which one am I talking to?
69
Which one of you is the boss?
70
I'm Mr. Kimber's advisor and accountant.
71
And I'm the fucking boss, okay?
72
I am Billy Kimber!
73
I run the races.
74
And here he is demonstrating what might be termed the Joffrey rule, which is that if you have to insist on your status in any situation, you don't have status.
75
I am the king.
76
Any man who must say I am the king is no true king.
77
This highlights a key difference between Tommy and Kimber and the types that we encounter like that in the world.
78
Kimber fights and argues to be respected.
79
Tommy never does.
80
So many people think that being respected means insisting upon it all the time.
81
You can't let anyone get away with disrespecting you.
82
But there's always going to be people who want to undermine you, play status games, or just casually disrespect you without even thinking about it.
83
If you get defensive or you overreact, you will just come across as insecure.
84
So when these sorts of challenges come, it doesn't mean that anything has gone wrong.
85
You do not need respect from every single person and you don't need to win every interaction.
86
Just take a breath, ignore the bait, and maintain your frame.
87
Which brings us to the third issue coming from Inspector Campbell.
88
For context here, Campbell and Tommy are meeting to negotiate.
89
Now watch how Tommy opens this conversation.
90
I'm a businessman.
91
I want to make my business successful.
92
So we're on the CM side.
93
I think perhaps we could be.
94
Tommy is direct.
95
He says what he wants clearly and he maintains this directness throughout the conversation.
96
Contrast this with how Campbell handles it.
97
How can we be on the same side
98
when i see things like this campbell is repeatedly sarcastic he's
99
condescending he's indirect he is uncomfortable with the direct aggression
100
so he uses passive aggressive comments instead now people who use
101
this kind of comments don't want to fully own their hostility
102
so they hide their aggression under innocent sounding comments to give
103
themselves plausible deniability they want to maintain power over people without other people realizing
104
that they're doing it we all know people who play games like this, and nothing feels more patronizing.
105
But if you respond in the right way, it can totally turn the tables.
106
So how does Tommy handle these sorts of passive aggressive comments?
107
Well, the same two steps that you can use.
108
First, Tommy responds to the superficial layer of Campbell's underhanded remark.
109
Forgive me, I don't seem to have a pen to write down this rather long list of demands.
110
And this is true in real life.
111
If someone makes a comment that could be interpreted as either genuine or maybe it's sarcastic, it's a really powerful move to respond as if it's genuine the first time.
112
This is another form of that non -reactivity that we saw from Tommy earlier.
113
It shows that you're unaffected and it forces the other person to either explain their insult or to just move past it.
114
But if the indirectness persists, you can move to step two.
115
I have what you're looking for.
116
I have the guns.
117
What guns?
118
We're not it's play wait wait tommy doesn't overreact he just walks away and
119
when we want something we can find it really hard to
120
do this you see it all the time people work for bosses who undermine them
121
or they stay with passive aggressive partners
122
when it would just be better to get up and leave
123
but the moment you show that you're willing to leave people realize
124
that they have to drop the passive aggressiveness and engage with you honestly
125
or they risk losing the interaction all together you see
126
that happen with campbell as he's forced to call tommy back
127
to the table i actually broke down a similar real -life scenario in much more detail with Robert Downey Jr.
128
that follows a very similar framework.
129
In that video, I actually highlight four steps if you want to go slowly through the nuances, but the key point holds.
130
Indirect and passive -aggressive games will fall apart when you first interpret charitably and second refuse to play.
131
So what the levels one to three have in common, they are all trying to get respect by proving their worth.
132
The kid is lying to prove that he fits in, Kimber is trying to prove that he's in charge, and Campbell is trying to prove that he's respectable despite his double dealing.
133
And this desperation to prove themselves actually makes us respect them less.
134
But Tommy is operating at level four.
135
He does not have this proving energy.
136
He's not trying to prove that he's dangerous, clever, or in charge.
137
His disinterest in proving himself to others underlies all the behaviors that we saw earlier.
138
His consistency, his non -reactivity, and his directness.
139
He is not trying to prove his worth.
140
But there is a problem here.
141
He's gonna trigger the grenade and your very combustible rum will blow us all to hell.
142
And I don't care because I'm already dead.
143
Tommy's disinterest in proving himself comes from his lack of self -worth.
144
And this emptiness shows up in his destructive behavior, his drinking, his violent outbursts, and his relentless ambition at the expense of the people around him.
145
Tommy struggles to express himself emotionally and he believes that he can never find peace.
146
There's no rest for me in this world.
147
So, this is the big question.
148
How can we stop trying to prove ourselves without cutting ourselves off emotionally?
149
The answer is by building self -respect.
150
And self -respect comes when who you want to be aligns with who you are.
151
Tommy lost sight of that ideal self due to the trauma that he experienced in the war.
152
But to build self -respect, you need to have a clear and realistic picture of who you want to be be.
153
Now this might sound simple, but you have to ask yourself some very challenging questions like how does my ideal self respond to conflict
154
and how do I do that today?
155
How does my ideal self respond to the possibility of rejection and how do I do that today?
156
And how does my ideal self act in awkward social situations?
157
And don't answer these questions with how you want other people to react to you.
158
It's about how you respond regardless of the situation.
159
Now Kimber, Campbell, and the Digbeth Kidd all know who they want to be, but they ignore the gap between that ideal self and their actual self.
160
And so they look to others for validation.
161
They do not realize that external validation can only get you so far because the truth is you cannot outsource self -respect.
162
It's in the definition.
163
Only you can build it.
164
So once you have a clear idea of who you want to be, just take one small concrete step towards that thing.
165
So if you want to be more productive, Focus on spending less time scrolling social media.
166
If you want to be more disciplined, choose a small task and do it every day for one month.
167
Just start small and then follow through.
168
Because whenever you deliver on a promise that you make to yourself, you strengthen that self -respect.
169
And when you start respecting yourself, people notice.
170
They see that you're not relying on them for validation, that you're not shaken by being undermined or insulted, and that you're not terrified of rejection.
171
And through that, they will see that you're not trying to get respect, and that actually makes them much more likely to respect you.
172
So if you're interested in the fastest way that I know of to make this stuff effortless, you might be interested in my course, Charisma University.
173
You get full details at the link here, but basically, if you like the YouTube channel and charisma, confidence, building, respect is a priority for you, I highly encourage you to click the link,
174
check it out, learn more, and maybe join.
175
Either way, I hope that you have enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.
📺 Cùng kênh
B21
The Masculine Move Most Men Are Too Afraid to Make
Business EnglishInterview EnglishUniversity Students
B22
If You Only Watch One Charisma Video, Make It This
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
The Real Secret to Having Aura (It’s Not What You Think)
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
If You Run Out Of Things To Say, Play This Simple Game
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B25
The One Social Skill That Beats All The Others
Business EnglishInterview EnglishUniversity Students
B24
Give Me 7 Minutes and I’ll Make You Dangerously Good at Small Talk
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
How To Read People Without Them Knowing
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
5 Funny Jokes You Can Copy Today
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
✨ Video gợi ý
B2441
11 câu
never ever put me in a position where I have to show you how ruthless I can bebe #denzelwashington
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
66 câu
Tommy Finds Who Blew Up The Garrison | Peaky Blinders
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B2114 câu
Everything changes when you stop playing it safe
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B25
53 câu
Timothee Chalamet | Spoken Theater | 2013 National YoungArts Week
Business EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B11
98 câu
Shadowing - PATRICK JANE | The mentalist
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B25
433 câu
7 Tiny Habits That Make People RESPECT You (Without Saying a Word)
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
409 câu
Discover the Tools That Always Inspire Success | Suits Masterclass
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B12
24 câu
Just Because It’s Allowed Doesn’t Mean It’s Right #manners #respect #consideration
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
125 câu
Command Instant Respect | Discover Advanced English Nuances with Game of Thrones
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
184 câu
Nobody Can Handle Cillian Murphy's NONCHALANT Personality
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
Bối cảnh & Nền tảng
Trong video này, người nói khám phá lý do tại sao nhiều người không nhận được sự tôn trọng mà họ mong muốn, thông qua các ví dụ từ những nhân vật trong bộ phim "Peaky Blinders". Câu chuyện bắt đầu với một nhân vật có tên là Digbeth Kid, người cố gắng thể hiện mình là một kẻ cướp nguy hiểm nhưng lại không thành công do ngôn ngữ cơ thể và cách thể hiện của mình. Qua đó, video chỉ ra rằng việc cố gắng trở thành người mà người khác mong muốn chỉ dẫn đến việc mất giá trị bản thân và tôn trọng từ người khác. Đây là một bài học quý giá cho những ai đang tìm kiếm sự tôn trọng trong giao tiếp hàng ngày.
5 Câu Nói Hàng Ngày Hữu Ích
- “Tôi chưa bao giờ bị bắt.” - Câu này nhấn mạnh tính trung thực và sự tự tin.
- “Bạn có cần tôi giúp đỡ không?” - Một cách thể hiện sự quan tâm và sẵn sàng hỗ trợ.
- “Chúng ta có thể thảo luận về điều này.” - Mở ra cơ hội cho cuộc trò chuyện và trao đổi ý kiến.
- “Tôi hiểu quan điểm của bạn.” - Thể hiện sự đồng cảm và tôn trọng ý kiến của người khác.
- “Hãy để tôi suy nghĩ về điều đó.” - Đưa ra thời gian để cân nhắc trước khi phản hồi, thể hiện sự điềm tĩnh.
Hướng Dẫn Shadowing Chi Tiết
Để nâng cao khả năng phát âm tiếng Anh chuẩn và cải thiện kỹ năng giao tiếp của bạn, hãy áp dụng phương pháp shadowing tiếng Anh với video này. Dưới đây là hướng dẫn từng bước để thực hiện:
- Xem video một lần: Tập trung vào nội dung và cách diễn đạt của nhân vật, chú ý đến ngôn ngữ cơ thể và cảm xúc của họ.
- Nghe lại và lặp lại: Khi xem video lần thứ hai, hãy dừng lại sau mỗi câu và lặp lại ngay lập tức. Cố gắng bắt chước ngữ điệu và nhịp điệu của người nói.
- Ghi âm giọng nói của bạn: Sau khi lặp lại nhiều lần, hãy ghi âm lại giọng nói của bạn để so sánh với bản gốc. Điều này sẽ giúp bạn nhận ra những điểm cần cải thiện.
- Thực hành thường xuyên: Lặp lại quá trình này với nhiều đoạn khác nhau trong video để cải thiện khả năng shadow speech và sự tự tin khi giao tiếp.
Việc thực hành qua shadowspeaks không chỉ giúp bạn phát âm chính xác mà còn giúp bạn hiểu rõ hơn về cách giao tiếp tự nhiên trong tiếng Anh. Hãy kiên nhẫn và chăm chỉ, sự tiến bộ sẽ đến với bạn!
Ngữ pháp trong video
Những cấu trúc người nói dùng nhiều nhất, kèm đúng cụm từ trong video:
| Cấu trúc | Trong video |
|---|---|
| Câu điều kiện if + mệnh đề, will/would + động từ — điều kiện và kết quả | if you need it, will allow |
| Câu bị động be + quá khứ phân từ — nhấn vào việc xảy ra, không phải người làm | been chosen · You've been arrested · been arrested |
| Thì hiện tại hoàn thành have/has + quá khứ phân từ — việc đã xảy ra nhưng còn liên quan đến hiện tại | has come · We've talked · You've been arrested |
| Mệnh đề quan hệ who / which + mệnh đề — thêm thông tin về người hoặc vật | someone who has · rule, which is · man who must |
Phương Pháp Shadowing Là Gì?
Shadowing là kỹ thuật học ngôn ngữ có cơ sở khoa học, ban đầu được phát triển cho chương trình đào tạo phiên dịch viên chuyên nghiệp và được phổ biến rộng rãi bởi nhà đa ngôn ngữ học Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Nguyên lý cốt lõi đơn giản nhưng cực kỳ hiệu quả: bạn nghe tiếng Anh của người bản xứ và lặp lại to ngay lập tức — như một "cái bóng" (shadow) đuổi theo người nói với độ trễ chỉ 1–2 giây. Khác với luyện ngữ pháp hay học từ vựng bị động, Shadowing buộc não bộ và cơ miệng phải đồng thời xử lý và tái tạo ngôn ngữ thực tế. Các nghiên cứu khoa học xác nhận phương pháp này cải thiện đáng kể phát âm, ngữ điệu, nhịp điệu, nối âm, kỹ năng nghe và độ lưu loát khi nói — đặc biệt hiệu quả cho người luyện IELTS Speaking và muốn giao tiếp tiếng Anh tự nhiên như người bản ngữ.