跟讀練習: Always Angry? Try This Technique Before The Next Blow Up - 通過影片學習英語口語

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Are you always angry with blowups or stewing about something?

There's probably some hidden hurts stirring it up.

I'm going to show you how to analyze your anger.

I'm Dr. Tracey Marks, a psychiatrist, and I make mental health education videos.

Our emotions are the way we express ourselves and affect how we feel about ourselves, the decisions that we make, what we believe about the world, and how we interact with others.

Renowned psychologist, Dr. Paul Ekman, identified six basic emotions that we all have.

Fear, surprise, happiness, sadness, disgust, and anger.

From this group of emotions, the most destructive to relationships is anger.

Yet, it's a normal emotion that we all have.

How you express your anger has a lot to do with your personality and your upbringing.

If feeling angry makes you feel vulnerable and exposed, you may suppress your anger and not express it because you fear losing control.

Suppressed anger is a form of avoidance and can lead to anxiety and feelings of depression.

On the other hand, some people don't filter their anger at all, and as soon as something triggers them, they express their anger with aggression, either yelling or sharp words or actions.

And action may be as simple as deleting you from my contacts or blocking your messages because you say things that make me angry or hurt my feelings.

I could insult you back, but because that's not my personality, I wouldn't know what to say.

So rather than invite an argument with you, which I'll probably lose and make me feel worse, I just delete you.

Sometimes, the immediate expression of anger is a good thing and allows you to purge the negative feelings and move on.

But it can be a bad thing when your response is too aggressive, like blowing up at people or having a reaction that's out of proportion to the trigger, like feeling heat in your chest from anger when someone interrupts you too many times, and the person doesn't even realize how much their interruptions bother you.

Another sign of pathological anger is chronic anger when you're always angry or annoyed about something.

So anger can be adaptive if it helps you prune away negative situations or experiences like the example of deleting people who upset you, or it can be maladaptive when the expression of it does more harm than good.

When dealing with maladaptive anger, it's helpful to look at what lies underneath the anger.

And one way to examine your anger is to think of it as an iceberg that has a visible part above the surface of the water, but then a much larger part lying beneath the surface that you can't see.

The visible part is the situation that triggers your angry response.

In the middle, just below the surface, is your hurt feelings and unmet needs.

Then at the deepest layer is fear.

Let's look at an example of how to analyze this together.

Think of a situation that triggered your anger and caused you to blow up at someone in a way that seemed excessive, or maybe you didn't blow up, but you felt very angry as if someone poked a sore spot on you and now you're aggravated, distracted, and just in an overall bad headspace.

Here's a hypothetical example.

My sister Jane asked to borrow $500 from me to start a new business.

She quit her job because the company no longer allows her to work from home, and she didn't want to have to drive to an office anymore and wants to be her own boss.

I know Jane, and I know that although she was being paid for an eight-hour day, she probably only worked a couple of hours each day.

She doesn't have a whole lot of ambition, and I can't see her making enough money to replace her old job.

When I tell her this, she says...

- Why can't you just be on my side this one time?

- implying that I don't trust her, which I don't.

So, to be supportive, I give her the money.

Months passed and I don't really get many details about how Jane's new business is going.

Whenever I ask, she just says, "Oh, it's fine." We get together at a family dinner and my mom asked Jane how she likes her new job.

I say, "You mean her new business, right?" Jane, matter-of-factly says...

- Oh no, that didn't work out.

I had to get a real job.

- I then asked about my $500 and she says...

- Oh, sorry, that went into the business, and I had to close it down.

- I asked, "When were you going to let me know?

I still want my money." My mother then says...

- Oh, don't be that way.

At least she tried something on her own, and why are you so mad?

You can afford $500 or you wouldn't have given it to her.

- Now, I'm enraged.

I blow up at my mom and sister, and I leave the dinner.

I get even more angry when my father later calls me and tells me that I need to be the bigger person in this situation and let it go because we all know how Jane is.

Now, I'm livid.

I can't bring myself to curse my dad out, so I burst into tears and hang up on him.

Here's my iceberg analysis, and this is hypothetical because I don't have a sister.

Did I have a right to be angry at Jane for telling me that she blew my money, moved on, and had no intentions of paying me?

Sure, but that's not really what infuriated me, causing a scene at the family dinner and on the phone with my father.

So, thinking about the top of the iceberg, the first blowup came from my mother saying that I don't need the money.

Moving just below the surface, why was that statement so hurtful?

Because it's a recurring theme, that as the successful child, I don't need much.

Jane was always needy and failing at something, so she got extra attention and help from my parents.

So deep down, I feel like my self-sufficiency made it easy for them to let me grow up on autopilot without much support because I didn't need it.

The second dagger came from my father with his statement that I needed to be the bigger person.

Again, that triggered a longstanding hurt that I have to be the mature one who lets things go and not show upset.

So that's the hurt behind that anger.

What was the unmet need?

In this specific situation, I needed my parents to empathize with me for being angry at my sister for her inconsiderate behavior.

I needed them to acknowledge that I had a right to be upset instead of treating me as if I was a bully.

Now looking even deeper, what's the fear?

I fear that they, my family, will never let me be imperfect, and if I am, they won't love me.

I fear the dynamic of me, being the unflawed person without any needs, will never go away, and because of that, I'll never feel close to them.

And if I really let my mind think about this fear, I may realize and then admit to myself that I actually hate them, and I fear that they'll eventually figure that out.

Now that conclusion sounds harsh, but the reality is, often, fears that trigger anger have an ugly primitive core to them, and they're primitive thoughts that we don't want to accept on a conscious level.

Usually, it takes a trained professional to help you recognize some of these unpleasant thoughts, but it's not impossible for you to become self-aware with lots of reflection.

The positive that can come from uncovering unpleasant thoughts like this is to give you a chance to address the hurt and fear directly instead of only reacting to it.

So in this case, after pondering how I got here with so much anger about this $500, I conclude that I need to give my family a chance to respond to my feelings of being emotionally neglected over the years and using my success against me.

Sure, I have an axe to grind with my sister for acting so entitled and insensitive, but it's really my parents who caused the hurt.

Having a conversation with my parents can help them understand what's really bothering me, it's so much more than money, and give them a chance to make amends.

Now, yes, there are parents who intentionally harm their children.

That happens, and it's a terrible thing.

But there are a lot more parents who are flawed individuals and unintentionally make mistakes that they don't realize have the longstanding effects that they do.

And I've seen this kind of situation many times, and I've seen a parent confronted about this who had no idea that their child was harboring these feelings.

The mom says...

- I was just so thankful that I didn't have to worry about you like I did Jane.

- But mom doesn't realize that focusing on the special-needs child made the self-sufficient one feel unloved.

And that dynamic shows up again and again in various situations until it finally gets addressed.

Another way this iceberg analogy can help is giving you more empathy toward others who blow up all the time or seem easily angered or irritated.

We all have these icebergs.

And although it's not okay to attack people because of deeper hurts, understanding that the angry, volatile person may have some unresolved needs may make it easier to overlook their reactions.

It doesn't mean they should get a pass every time they get angry and lash out, but at least you can avoid engaging with them, because if their reaction is based on some deeper hurt, you're fighting a battle that has little to do with the surface issue that started it.

I have some other videos on managing anger, and I'll have them linked in the description if you want to see more on anger.

Thanks for watching. See you next time.

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本課的詞彙與口語要點

這節 B2 級別的口語課以影片“Always Angry? Try This Technique Before The Next Blow Up”為素材。影片中反覆出現的詞有：anger, angry, fear, hurt, Jane。這段影片共有 91 個句子、1702 個單詞可供跟讀。講話部分時長為 10:07。說話人語速自然，每分鐘約 168 個詞，接近日常對話。 82% 的單詞屬於英語最常用的 3,000 詞，其餘的詞建議在練習前先學一下。

影片中的重點詞彙

影片中最難的 15 個單詞，附發音和釋義：

單詞	發音	釋義
iceberg 名詞	/ˈaɪsbɝɡ/	冰山
emotion 名詞	/ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/	感情, 情感
hypothetical 形容詞	/ˌhaɪpəˈθɛtɪkəl/	假設的 /假設的, 假定的
suppress 動詞	/səˈpɹɛs/	抑制, 鎮壓 /鎮壓
unpleasant 形容詞	/ʌnˈplɛzn̩t/	令人不快的
primitive 名詞	/ˈpɹɪmɪtɪv/	原始人
analyze 動詞	/ˈæn.əˌlaɪz/	分析
autopilot 名詞	/ˈɔtoʊˌpaɪlət/	自動駕駛儀 /自動駕駛儀, 自動駕駛 /自動駕駛
empathize 動詞	/ˈɛmpəˌθaɪz/	同情
enrage 動詞	/ɪnˈɹeɪd͡ʒ/	觸怒 /觸怒, 激怒
inconsiderate 形容詞	/ˌɪnkənˈsɪdəɹɪt/	不體貼 /不體貼
interruption 名詞	/ˌɪntəˈɹʌpʃən/	中斷 /中斷
irritate 動詞	/ˈɪɹ.ɪˌteɪt/	激怒, 刺激
ponder 動詞	/ˈpɑn.dəɹ/	思考, 琢磨
sufficiency 名詞		充分, 充足

影片中出現的短語動詞

單詞	發音	釋義
blow up 動詞		炸掉, 爆破
go away 動詞		離開 /離開, 走
show up 動詞		露面
work out 動詞	/ˌwɝk ˈaʊt/	計算 /計算, 算出

影片中的語法

說話人最常用的結構，並附上影片中的原話：

結構	影片中的用法
被動語態 be + 過去分詞 — 強調發生了什麼，而不是誰做的	being paid · are flawed · is based
定語從句 who / which + 從句 — 補充說明人或事物	people who upset · one who lets

需要注意的發音

說話人用了 40 次縮略和弱讀形式，例如 don't, didn't, can't。請按聽到的簡短形式來說。

“th” 音: hypothetical /ˌhaɪpəˈθɛtɪkəl/, empathize /ˈɛmpəˌθaɪz/, pathological /ˌpæθ.əˈlɑd͡ʒ.ɪ.kəl/, empathy /ˈɛmpəθi/, thankful /ˈθæŋkfəl/
“sh” 和 “zh” 音: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, interruption /ˌɪntəˈɹʌpʃən/, intentionally /ɪnˈtɛn(t)ʃənəli/, aggression /əˈɡɹɛʃən/, ambition /æmˈbɪʃ.ən/
長單詞——注意重音位置: maladaptive /ˌmæləˈdæptɪv/, hypothetical /ˌhaɪpəˈθɛtɪkəl/, autopilot /ˈɔtoʊˌpaɪlət/, inconsiderate /ˌɪnkənˈsɪdəɹɪt/, insensitive /ɪnˈsɛnsɪtɪv/

中文母語者容易讀錯的音：

/v/ — 不要讀成 /w/，上齒輕觸下唇: maladaptive /ˌmæləˈdæptɪv/, primitive /ˈpɹɪmɪtɪv/, aggravate /ˈæɡ.ɹə.veɪ̯t/, insensitive /ɪnˈsɛnsɪtɪv/, uncover /ʌnˈkʌvɚ/
詞尾子音 — 要讀清楚，後面不要加母音: iceberg /ˈaɪsbɝɡ/, maladaptive /ˌmæləˈdæptɪv/, suppress /səˈpɹɛs/, unpleasant /ʌnˈplɛzn̩t/, primitive /ˈpɹɪmɪtɪv/
/r/ 和 /l/ 的區別: hurtful /ˈhɜɹtfʊl/, reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/

如何用這段影片練習

先完整聽一遍影片，不要開口，記下不認識的單詞。
先用 0.75 倍速逐句跟讀，熟練之後再回到正常速度。
錄下自己的聲音並與原聲對比，特別注意 iceberg, emotion, hypothetical 這類單詞。

什麼是跟讀法？

跟讀法 (Shadowing) 是一種有科學依據的語言學習技巧，最初開發用於專業口譯員的培訓，並由多語言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。這個方法簡單而強大：您在聽英語母語原聲的同時立即大聲重複——就像是一個延遲1-2秒緊跟說話者的影子。與被動聽力或語法練習不同，跟讀法強迫您的大腦和口腔肌肉同時處理並模模擬實的講話模式。研究表明它能顯著提高發音準確性，語調，節奏，連讀，聽力理解和口語流利度——使其成為雅思口語備考和真實英語交流最有效的方法之一。

影子跟讀法: 閱讀完整分步指南 →

跟讀練習: Always Angry? Try This Technique Before The Next Blow Up - 通過影片學習英語口語

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