ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Always Angry? Try This Technique Before The Next Blow Up
กำลังสร้างบทเรียน...
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Are you always angry with blowups or stewing about something?
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There's probably some hidden hurts stirring it up.
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I'm going to show you how to analyze your anger.
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I'm Dr. Tracey Marks, a psychiatrist, and I make mental health education videos.
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Our emotions are the way we express ourselves and affect how we feel about ourselves, the decisions that we make, what we believe about the world, and how we interact with others.
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Renowned psychologist, Dr. Paul Ekman, identified six basic emotions that we all have.
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Fear, surprise, happiness, sadness, disgust, and anger.
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From this group of emotions, the most destructive to relationships is anger.
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Yet, it's a normal emotion that we all have.
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How you express your anger has a lot to do with your personality and your upbringing.
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If feeling angry makes you feel vulnerable and exposed, you may suppress your anger and not express it because you fear losing control.
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Suppressed anger is a form of avoidance and can lead to anxiety and feelings of depression.
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On the other hand, some people don't filter their anger at all, and as soon as something triggers them, they express their anger with aggression, either yelling or sharp words or actions.
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And action may be as simple as deleting you from my contacts or blocking your messages because you say things that make me angry or hurt my feelings.
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I could insult you back, but because that's not my personality, I wouldn't know what to say.
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So rather than invite an argument with you, which I'll probably lose and make me feel worse, I just delete you.
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Sometimes, the immediate expression of anger is a good thing and allows you to purge the negative feelings and move on.
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But it can be a bad thing when your response is too aggressive, like blowing up at people or having a reaction that's out of proportion to the trigger, like feeling heat in your chest from anger when someone interrupts you too many times, and the person doesn't even realize how much their interruptions bother you.
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Another sign of pathological anger is chronic anger when you're always angry or annoyed about something.
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So anger can be adaptive if it helps you prune away negative situations or experiences like the example of deleting people who upset you, or it can be maladaptive when the expression of it does more harm than good.
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When dealing with maladaptive anger, it's helpful to look at what lies underneath the anger.
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And one way to examine your anger is to think of it as an iceberg that has a visible part above the surface of the water, but then a much larger part lying beneath the surface that you can't see.
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The visible part is the situation that triggers your angry response.
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In the middle, just below the surface, is your hurt feelings and unmet needs.
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Then at the deepest layer is fear.
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Let's look at an example of how to analyze this together.
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Think of a situation that triggered your anger and caused you to blow up at someone in a way that seemed excessive, or maybe you didn't blow up, but you felt very angry as if someone poked a sore spot on you and now you're aggravated, distracted, and just in an overall bad headspace.
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Here's a hypothetical example.
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My sister Jane asked to borrow $500 from me to start a new business.
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She quit her job because the company no longer allows her to work from home, and she didn't want to have to drive to an office anymore and wants to be her own boss.
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I know Jane, and I know that although she was being paid for an eight-hour day, she probably only worked a couple of hours each day.
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She doesn't have a whole lot of ambition, and I can't see her making enough money to replace her old job.
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When I tell her this, she says...
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- Why can't you just be on my side this one time?
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- implying that I don't trust her, which I don't.
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So, to be supportive, I give her the money.
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Months passed and I don't really get many details about how Jane's new business is going.
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Whenever I ask, she just says, "Oh, it's fine." We get together at a family dinner and my mom asked Jane how she likes her new job.
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I say, "You mean her new business, right?" Jane, matter-of-factly says...
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- Oh no, that didn't work out.
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I had to get a real job.
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- I then asked about my $500 and she says...
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- Oh, sorry, that went into the business, and I had to close it down.
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- I asked, "When were you going to let me know?
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I still want my money." My mother then says...
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- Oh, don't be that way.
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At least she tried something on her own, and why are you so mad?
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You can afford $500 or you wouldn't have given it to her.
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- Now, I'm enraged.
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I blow up at my mom and sister, and I leave the dinner.
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I get even more angry when my father later calls me and tells me that I need to be the bigger person in this situation and let it go because we all know how Jane is.
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Now, I'm livid.
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I can't bring myself to curse my dad out, so I burst into tears and hang up on him.
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Here's my iceberg analysis, and this is hypothetical because I don't have a sister.
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Did I have a right to be angry at Jane for telling me that she blew my money, moved on, and had no intentions of paying me?
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Sure, but that's not really what infuriated me, causing a scene at the family dinner and on the phone with my father.
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So, thinking about the top of the iceberg, the first blowup came from my mother saying that I don't need the money.
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Moving just below the surface, why was that statement so hurtful?
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Because it's a recurring theme, that as the successful child, I don't need much.
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Jane was always needy and failing at something, so she got extra attention and help from my parents.
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So deep down, I feel like my self-sufficiency made it easy for them to let me grow up on autopilot without much support because I didn't need it.
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The second dagger came from my father with his statement that I needed to be the bigger person.
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Again, that triggered a longstanding hurt that I have to be the mature one who lets things go and not show upset.
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So that's the hurt behind that anger.
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What was the unmet need?
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In this specific situation, I needed my parents to empathize with me for being angry at my sister for her inconsiderate behavior.
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I needed them to acknowledge that I had a right to be upset instead of treating me as if I was a bully.
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Now looking even deeper, what's the fear?
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I fear that they, my family, will never let me be imperfect, and if I am, they won't love me.
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I fear the dynamic of me, being the unflawed person without any needs, will never go away, and because of that, I'll never feel close to them.
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And if I really let my mind think about this fear, I may realize and then admit to myself that I actually hate them, and I fear that they'll eventually figure that out.
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Now that conclusion sounds harsh, but the reality is, often, fears that trigger anger have an ugly primitive core to them, and they're primitive thoughts that we don't want to accept on a conscious level.
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Usually, it takes a trained professional to help you recognize some of these unpleasant thoughts, but it's not impossible for you to become self-aware with lots of reflection.
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The positive that can come from uncovering unpleasant thoughts like this is to give you a chance to address the hurt and fear directly instead of only reacting to it.
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So in this case, after pondering how I got here with so much anger about this $500, I conclude that I need to give my family a chance to respond to my feelings of being emotionally neglected over the years and using my success against me.
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Sure, I have an axe to grind with my sister for acting so entitled and insensitive, but it's really my parents who caused the hurt.
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Having a conversation with my parents can help them understand what's really bothering me, it's so much more than money, and give them a chance to make amends.
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Now, yes, there are parents who intentionally harm their children.
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That happens, and it's a terrible thing.
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But there are a lot more parents who are flawed individuals and unintentionally make mistakes that they don't realize have the longstanding effects that they do.
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And I've seen this kind of situation many times, and I've seen a parent confronted about this who had no idea that their child was harboring these feelings.
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The mom says...
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- I was just so thankful that I didn't have to worry about you like I did Jane.
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- But mom doesn't realize that focusing on the special-needs child made the self-sufficient one feel unloved.
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And that dynamic shows up again and again in various situations until it finally gets addressed.
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Another way this iceberg analogy can help is giving you more empathy toward others who blow up all the time or seem easily angered or irritated.
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We all have these icebergs.
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And although it's not okay to attack people because of deeper hurts, understanding that the angry, volatile person may have some unresolved needs may make it easier to overlook their reactions.
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It doesn't mean they should get a pass every time they get angry and lash out, but at least you can avoid engaging with them, because if their reaction is based on some deeper hurt, you're fighting a battle that has little to do with the surface issue that started it.
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I have some other videos on managing anger, and I'll have them linked in the description if you want to see more on anger.
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Thanks for watching. See you next time.
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คำศัพท์และข้อสังเกตด้านการพูดสำหรับบทเรียนนี้
บทเรียนฝึกพูดระดับ B2 นี้ใช้วิดีโอ “Always Angry? Try This Technique Before The Next Blow Up” เป็นสื่อ คำที่ถูกพูดซ้ำบ่อยที่สุด: anger, angry, fear, hurt, Jane วิดีโอนี้มี 91 ประโยค และ 1702 คำ สำหรับฝึกพูดตาม ช่วงที่มีเสียงพูดยาว 10:07 ผู้พูดพูดด้วยความเร็วเป็นธรรมชาติ ประมาณ 168 คำต่อนาที ใกล้เคียงกับบทสนทนาในชีวิตประจำวัน 82% ของคำอยู่ใน 3,000 คำที่ใช้บ่อยที่สุดในภาษาอังกฤษ ส่วนที่เหลือควรดูไว้ก่อนเริ่มฝึก
คำศัพท์สำคัญในวิดีโอนี้
คำที่ยากที่สุด 15 คำในวิดีโอ พร้อมคำอ่านและความหมาย:
| คำศัพท์ | คำอ่าน | ความหมาย |
|---|---|---|
| iceberg คำนาม | /ˈaɪsbɝɡ/ | ภูเขาน้ำแข็ง |
| emotion คำนาม | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | อารมณ์ |
| analyze คำกริยา | /ˈæn.əˌlaɪz/ | วิเคราะห์ |
| enrage คำกริยา | /ɪnˈɹeɪd͡ʒ/ | ทำให้โกรธ, บันดาลโทสะ |
| irritate คำกริยา | /ˈɪɹ.ɪˌteɪt/ | ทำให้หงุดหงิด |
| overlook คำกริยา | /ˈoʊ.vɚˌlʊk/ | มองข้าม |
| dagger คำนาม | /ˈdæɡɚ/ | กริช, มีดสั้น |
| psychiatrist คำนาม | /ˌsaɪˈkaɪ.ə.tɹɪst/ | จิตแพทย์ |
| volatile คำคุณศัพท์ | /ˈvɑ.lə.təl/ | ลบเลือนได้ |
| psychologist คำนาม | /ˌsaɪˈkɑl.ə.d͡ʒɪst/ | นักจิตวิทยา |
| confront คำกริยา | /kənˈfɹʌnt/ | เผชิญหน้า, สู้หน้า |
| imply คำกริยา | /ɪmˈplaɪ/ | หมายความ |
| yell คำกริยา | /jɛl/ | ตะโกน |
| bully คำนาม | /ˈbʊli/ | คนพาล |
| sadness คำนาม | /ˈsædnəs/ | ความเศร้า, ความทุกข์ |
กริยาวลีที่คุณจะได้ยิน
| คำศัพท์ | ความหมาย |
|---|---|
| show up คำกริยา | โผล่ |
ไวยากรณ์ในวิดีโอนี้
โครงสร้างที่ผู้พูดใช้บ่อยที่สุด พร้อมคำพูดจริงจากวิดีโอ:
| โครงสร้าง | ในวิดีโอ |
|---|---|
| Passive voice be + กริยาช่อง 3 — เน้นสิ่งที่เกิดขึ้น ไม่ใช่ผู้กระทำ | being paid · are flawed · is based |
| Relative clauses who / which + อนุประโยค — ข้อมูลเพิ่มเติมเกี่ยวกับคนหรือสิ่งของ | people who upset · one who lets |
การออกเสียงที่ควรระวัง
ผู้พูดใช้รูปย่อและรูปลดเสียง 40 ครั้ง เช่น don't, didn't, can't ให้พูดแบบสั้นตามที่ได้ยิน
- เสียง “th”: hypothetical /ˌhaɪpəˈθɛtɪkəl/, empathize /ˈɛmpəˌθaɪz/, pathological /ˌpæθ.əˈlɑd͡ʒ.ɪ.kəl/, empathy /ˈɛmpəθi/, thankful /ˈθæŋkfəl/
- เสียง “sh” และ “zh”: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, interruption /ˌɪntəˈɹʌpʃən/, intentionally /ɪnˈtɛn(t)ʃənəli/, aggression /əˈɡɹɛʃən/, ambition /æmˈbɪʃ.ən/
- คำยาว — ลงเสียงหนักให้ถูกพยางค์: maladaptive /ˌmæləˈdæptɪv/, hypothetical /ˌhaɪpəˈθɛtɪkəl/, autopilot /ˈɔtoʊˌpaɪlət/, inconsiderate /ˌɪnkənˈsɪdəɹɪt/, insensitive /ɪnˈsɛnsɪtɪv/
เสียงที่คนไทยมักออกเสียงยาก:
- เสียงท้ายคำ — ออกเสียงให้ครบ ไม่เปลี่ยนเป็นตัวสะกดแบบไทย: maladaptive /ˌmæləˈdæptɪv/, hypothetical /ˌhaɪpəˈθɛtɪkəl/, suppress /səˈpɹɛs/, primitive /ˈpɹɪmɪtɪv/, analyze /ˈæn.əˌlaɪz/
- /v/ — ไม่ใช่ /w/ ให้ฟันบนแตะริมฝีปากล่าง: maladaptive /ˌmæləˈdæptɪv/, primitive /ˈpɹɪmɪtɪv/, aggravate /ˈæɡ.ɹə.veɪ̯t/, insensitive /ɪnˈsɛnsɪtɪv/, uncover /ʌnˈkʌvɚ/
- /z/ — เสียงก้อง ไม่ใช่ /s/: unpleasant /ʌnˈplɛzn̩t/, analyze /ˈæn.əˌlaɪz/, empathize /ˈɛmpəˌθaɪz/, expose /ɪkˈspoʊz/, intentions /ɪnˈtɛnʃənz/
วิธีฝึกกับวิดีโอนี้
- ฟังวิดีโอให้จบหนึ่งรอบโดยยังไม่ต้องพูด แล้วจดคำที่ยังไม่รู้จัก
- เริ่มที่ความเร็ว 0.75× พูดตามทีละประโยค แล้วกลับไปใช้ความเร็วปกติเมื่อเริ่มคล่อง
- อัดเสียงตัวเองแล้วเทียบกับต้นฉบับ โดยสังเกตคำอย่าง iceberg, emotion, analyze เป็นพิเศษ
เทคนิค Shadowing คืออะไร?
Shadowing เป็นเทคนิคการเรียนรู้ภาษาที่ได้รับการรับรองทางวิทยาศาสตร์ พัฒนาขึ้นสำหรับการฝึกนักแปลมืออาชีพ วิธีการนี้เรียบง่ายแต่ทรงพลัง: คุณฟังเสียงภาษาอังกฤษจากเจ้าของภาษาและพูดตามทันที — เหมือนเงาที่ตามผู้พูดด้วยช่วงเวลาห่าง 1-2 วินาที การวิจัยแสดงว่าเทคนิคนี้ปรับปรุงความแม่นยำในการออกเสียง ทำนองเสียง จังหวะ การเชื่อมเสียง การฟังเข้าใจ และความคล่องแคล่วในการพูดได้อย่างมีนัยสำคัญ