跟读练习: How to Learn to Love Oneself More - 通过视频学习英语口语
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Every day, especially in the era of social media, from the mental health perspective, probably the single worst invention of modern times,
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we are likely to face enemies.
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People who disagree with us, people who tell us we're bad, people who say we should be ashamed of ourselves or even be destroyed.
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The common sense advice from well-meaning friends is just not to listen, to shrug it off, to assert that no one cares,
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that the bully is mad or mentally unwell and to suggest a change of scene.
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It is very kind and sadly, usually, for many of us, entirely ineffective.
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The question then emerges – why is it that some people find it extremely hard to defend themselves,
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either in the sense of practically answering back to an enemy
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or simply of not caving in internally in the face of an attack?
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Why is it that when they are being bullied at work, some people are able to mount a polite,
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calm fight back while others melt into self-loathing and despair?
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Why is it that if they are criticised unfairly in a romantic context, some people are able to point out that the criticism is not right
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and get their side of the story across and feel steady and solid while others descend at once into paranoia.
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We might put it like this – in order to be able to defend oneself against an external foe, one has to be on one's own side.
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And this is not, for some of us, as easy as it may sound.
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Without us necessarily even quite realising the fact, entire personalities may be geared towards interpreting ourselves as bad,
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wrong, a mistake, shameful and a piece of shit.
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This may sound dramatic and we know in our intellectual adult selves that this can't be entirely right.
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Nevertheless, deep down this isn't only slightly right, it's the fundamental truth about us.
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A first step towards dealing with an external enemy is realising
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that our personalities are built up in such a way
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that we're going to have a big problem on our hands whenever we face opposition.
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We should expect to find this hard, and we do.
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We are – and there is no pejorative association around this whatsoever – a bit mentally unwell in this area.
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We therefore need to call for help, extend a lot of compassion to ourselves and devote all the critical care we're going to need to get through the crisis.
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We then need to take on board
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that unfortunately the real enemy we're harbouring is not
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so much currently outside of us – though they are there too – as inside of us.
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We need to ask ourselves why does the accusation feel so true?
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Our conscious minds give us access to only a fraction of the information about us.
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Just as we can't intuitively understand how a cell operates in our very own body,
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so the make-up of most of our emotional brain is sunk in darkness.
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However, there will be a history to our self-loathing.
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We hate ourselves because somewhere along the line, we were not properly loved.
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Somewhere in the past, we heard a story, you're a piece of shit, you don't deserve to be F off and the story has stuck.
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How could someone facing an accusation that they are an idiot
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but who inside has a voice saying that they're a moron ever get the strength to defend themselves?
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They know in the adult part of the mind
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that they should be fighting back but they can't because inside all they hear is, you are everything your enemy is saying you are and more.
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They identify entirely with their aggressor.
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This can get pretty dangerous pretty fast.
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If the external enemy is vicious enough and joins artfully enough with the internal enemy, there can be suicidal thoughts and perhaps suicide itself.
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The defenceless are the opposite of self-righteous.
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To their enemies, they are implicitly saying, I want to kill myself more than you ever want to kill me.
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The solution to all this is a large, naive word we'll have heard before but which we need to grasp in its life-saving dimension – love.
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We need to hear often enough and clearly enough from other human beings –
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and they don't need to be romantic partners – that contrary to what the internal enemy is saying, we are decent enough, not perfect,
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but that isn't the criterion for deserving to exist.
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We need to fix ourselves by absorbing – properly absorbing – the kindness of others.
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The The problem is that people who feel their pieces of shit aren't very good at letting others take care of them.
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They don't know how to ask for help, and when help is given, they may initially push it away, accusing a kind friend of being weird or inadequate.
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Why, after all, would they be seeking to help a freak?
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We know from the condition known as body dysmorphia
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that it's no use telling someone who feels they're disgusting that they're in fact, oh, very nice looking.
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We need to help them to understand how they grew to hate themselves so much and show them,
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via friendship, that there could be another way of relating to who they are.
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We have some hints about how our minds work from the way we acquire language.
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Children fluently pick up incredibly complex patterns of speech from listening to those around them in the early years.
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A parallel emotional process is going on.
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If someone when we were little was speaking hate and shame and guilt to us, we will have started to speak like that to ourselves.
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And it won't be easy in adulthood to learn a new language, let alone to come to speak it fluently to ourselves.
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Telling someone mired in self-hatred to cheer up
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or like themselves a bit more is going to be as impatient as telling someone from England to just speak Bulgarian.
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It's going to take time and a lot of training.
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Nevertheless, if we want to think about what an ambitious project for humanity would look like,
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it would be a giant program of learning to replace the internalised languages of hate
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and enmity with those of love and compassion.
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We've been trying to do this for a couple of millennia at least, but we've done a pretty poor job of it so far and the project is more urgent than ever.
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So we might start today by speaking a few stumbling phrases of love to the self-hating part of ourselves
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and then to someone we know near us who's perhaps right now mired in shame and inadequacy.
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本课的词汇与口语要点
这段视频共有 70 个句子、1116 个单词可供跟读。 讲话部分时长为 6:47。 说话人语速自然，每分钟约 164 个词，接近日常对话。 86% 的单词属于英语最常用的 3,000 词，其余的词建议在练习前先学一下。
视频中的重点词汇
视频中 15 个不太常见的单词，附发音和释义：
- defend /dɪˈfɪnd/ (动词) — 保衛 /保卫, 守衛 /守卫. To ward off attacks against (something or someone).
- romantic /ɹoʊˈmæn(t)ɪk/ (形容词) — 浪漫. Fantastic, unrealistic (of an idea etc.); fanciful, sentimental, impractical (of a person).
- nevertheless /ˌnɛvɚðəˈlɛs/ (副词) — 但是, 可是. In spite of what preceded; yet.
- mentally /ˈmɛntəli/ (副词) — 心理上, 精神上. In a mental manner; an idea thought out in one's mind, as opposed to an idea spoken orally.
- compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/ (名词) — 同情, 愛心 /爱心. Deep awareness of the suffering of others that people have to the point of them being motivated to relieve such states.
- bully /ˈbʊli/ (名词) — 霸凌者, 土霸. A person who is intentionally physically or emotionally cruel to others, especially to those whom they perceive as being vulnerable or of less power or…
- absorb /æbˈsɔɹb/ (动词) — 吸收. To include so that it no longer has separate existence; to overwhelm; to cause to disappear as if by swallowing up; to incorporate; to assimilate; to take in…
- accusation /ˌæk.jʊˈzeɪ.ʃ(ə)n/ (名词) — 控告, 指控. The act of accusing.
- necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/ (副词) — 必然地, 必定地. Inevitably; of necessity.
- mount /maʊnt/ (动词) — 騎 /骑. To get upon; to ascend; to climb.
- dramatic /dɹəˈmætɪk/ (形容词) — 戲劇的 /戏剧的. Of or relating to the drama.
- decent /ˈdiː.sənt/ (形容词) — 體面 /体面, 正派. Appropriate; suitable for the circumstances.
- friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/ (名词) — 友誼 /友谊, 友情. The condition of being friends.
- fundamental /ˌfʌn.dəˈmɛn.təl/ (形容词) — 基本. Related to a foundation, base, or basis; serving as a foundation.
- humanity /hjuˈmænɪti/ (名词) — 人類 /人类. Humankind; human beings as a group.
视频中出现的短语动词
- cheer up (动词) — 振作, 振作起來 /振作起来. To become happier or less downcast.
- get through /ɡɛt ˈθɹu/ (动词) — 度過 /度过. To overcome; to endure.
- pick up (动词) — 拾取, 撿 /捡. To lift; to grasp and raise.
- point out (动词) — 指, 指出. To identify among a group of similar subjects, or in a scene where the subject might not be readily seen or noticed, with a gesture of the body.
需要注意的发音
说话人用了 21 次缩略和弱读形式，例如 we're, can't, don't。请按听到的简短形式来说。
- “th” 音: nevertheless /ˌnɛvɚðəˈlɛs/, loathe /ˈloʊð/
- “sh” 和 “zh” 音: compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, accusation /ˌæk.jʊˈzeɪ.ʃ(ə)n/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, conscious /ˈkɑn.ʃəs/, ashamed /əˈʃeɪmd/
- 长单词——注意重音位置: nevertheless /ˌnɛvɚðəˈlɛs/, accusation /ˌæk.jʊˈzeɪ.ʃ(ə)n/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, fundamental /ˌfʌn.dəˈmɛn.təl/
如何用这段视频练习
- 先完整听一遍视频，不要开口，记下不认识的单词。
- 先用 0.75 倍速逐句跟读，熟练之后再回到正常速度。
- 录下自己的声音并与原声对比，特别注意 defend, romantic, nevertheless 这类单词。
视频中的语法
说话人最常用的结构，并附上视频中的原话：
| 结构 | 视频中的用法 |
|---|---|
| 被动语态 be + 过去分词 — 强调发生了什么，而不是谁做的 | be destroyed · being bullied · are criticised |
| 现在完成时 have/has + 过去分词 — 过去发生但与现在仍有关联的事 | has stuck · have heard · have started |
| 定语从句 who / which + 从句 — 补充说明人或事物 | People who disagree · people who feel · someone who feels |
什么是跟读法？
跟读法 (Shadowing) 是一种有科学依据的语言学习技巧，最初开发用于专业口译员的培训，并由多语言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。这个方法简单而强大：您在听英语母语原声的同时立即大声重复——就像是一个延迟1-2秒紧跟说话者的影子。与被动听力或语法练习不同，跟读法强迫您的大脑和口腔肌肉同时处理并模仿真实的讲话模式。研究表明它能显着提高发音准确性，语调，节奏，连读，听力理解和口语流利度——使其成为雅思口语备考和真实英语交流最有效的方法之一。