쉐도잉 연습: How to Learn to Love Oneself More - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기
레슨 만드는 중...
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Every day, especially in the era of social media, from the mental health perspective, probably the single worst invention of modern times,
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we are likely to face enemies.
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People who disagree with us, people who tell us we're bad, people who say we should be ashamed of ourselves or even be destroyed.
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The common sense advice from well-meaning friends is just not to listen, to shrug it off, to assert that no one cares,
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that the bully is mad or mentally unwell and to suggest a change of scene.
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It is very kind and sadly, usually, for many of us, entirely ineffective.
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The question then emerges – why is it that some people find it extremely hard to defend themselves,
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either in the sense of practically answering back to an enemy
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or simply of not caving in internally in the face of an attack?
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Why is it that when they are being bullied at work, some people are able to mount a polite,
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calm fight back while others melt into self-loathing and despair?
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Why is it that if they are criticised unfairly in a romantic context, some people are able to point out that the criticism is not right
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and get their side of the story across and feel steady and solid while others descend at once into paranoia.
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We might put it like this – in order to be able to defend oneself against an external foe, one has to be on one's own side.
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And this is not, for some of us, as easy as it may sound.
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Without us necessarily even quite realising the fact, entire personalities may be geared towards interpreting ourselves as bad,
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wrong, a mistake, shameful and a piece of shit.
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This may sound dramatic and we know in our intellectual adult selves that this can't be entirely right.
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Nevertheless, deep down this isn't only slightly right, it's the fundamental truth about us.
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A first step towards dealing with an external enemy is realising
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that our personalities are built up in such a way
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that we're going to have a big problem on our hands whenever we face opposition.
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We should expect to find this hard, and we do.
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We are – and there is no pejorative association around this whatsoever – a bit mentally unwell in this area.
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We therefore need to call for help, extend a lot of compassion to ourselves and devote all the critical care we're going to need to get through the crisis.
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We then need to take on board
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that unfortunately the real enemy we're harbouring is not
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so much currently outside of us – though they are there too – as inside of us.
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We need to ask ourselves why does the accusation feel so true?
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Our conscious minds give us access to only a fraction of the information about us.
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Just as we can't intuitively understand how a cell operates in our very own body,
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so the make-up of most of our emotional brain is sunk in darkness.
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However, there will be a history to our self-loathing.
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We hate ourselves because somewhere along the line, we were not properly loved.
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Somewhere in the past, we heard a story, you're a piece of shit, you don't deserve to be F off and the story has stuck.
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How could someone facing an accusation that they are an idiot
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but who inside has a voice saying that they're a moron ever get the strength to defend themselves?
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They know in the adult part of the mind
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that they should be fighting back but they can't because inside all they hear is, you are everything your enemy is saying you are and more.
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They identify entirely with their aggressor.
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This can get pretty dangerous pretty fast.
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If the external enemy is vicious enough and joins artfully enough with the internal enemy, there can be suicidal thoughts and perhaps suicide itself.
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The defenceless are the opposite of self-righteous.
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To their enemies, they are implicitly saying, I want to kill myself more than you ever want to kill me.
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The solution to all this is a large, naive word we'll have heard before but which we need to grasp in its life-saving dimension – love.
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We need to hear often enough and clearly enough from other human beings –
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and they don't need to be romantic partners – that contrary to what the internal enemy is saying, we are decent enough, not perfect,
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but that isn't the criterion for deserving to exist.
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We need to fix ourselves by absorbing – properly absorbing – the kindness of others.
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The The problem is that people who feel their pieces of shit aren't very good at letting others take care of them.
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They don't know how to ask for help, and when help is given, they may initially push it away, accusing a kind friend of being weird or inadequate.
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Why, after all, would they be seeking to help a freak?
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We know from the condition known as body dysmorphia
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that it's no use telling someone who feels they're disgusting that they're in fact, oh, very nice looking.
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We need to help them to understand how they grew to hate themselves so much and show them,
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via friendship, that there could be another way of relating to who they are.
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We have some hints about how our minds work from the way we acquire language.
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Children fluently pick up incredibly complex patterns of speech from listening to those around them in the early years.
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A parallel emotional process is going on.
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If someone when we were little was speaking hate and shame and guilt to us, we will have started to speak like that to ourselves.
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And it won't be easy in adulthood to learn a new language, let alone to come to speak it fluently to ourselves.
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Telling someone mired in self-hatred to cheer up
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or like themselves a bit more is going to be as impatient as telling someone from England to just speak Bulgarian.
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It's going to take time and a lot of training.
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Nevertheless, if we want to think about what an ambitious project for humanity would look like,
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it would be a giant program of learning to replace the internalised languages of hate
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and enmity with those of love and compassion.
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We've been trying to do this for a couple of millennia at least, but we've done a pretty poor job of it so far and the project is more urgent than ever.
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So we might start today by speaking a few stumbling phrases of love to the self-hating part of ourselves
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and then to someone we know near us who's perhaps right now mired in shame and inadequacy.
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이 레슨의 어휘와 말하기 포인트
이 영상에는 섀도잉할 문장 70개와 단어 1116개가 있습니다. 말하는 구간의 길이는 6:47입니다. 화자는 분당 약 164단어로, 일상 대화에 가까운 자연스러운 속도로 말합니다. 단어의 86%가 영어에서 가장 많이 쓰이는 3,000단어에 속합니다. 나머지는 연습 전에 미리 확인해 두세요.
이 영상의 핵심 어휘
영상에 나오는 덜 흔한 단어 15개를 발음, 뜻과 함께 정리했습니다.
- defend /dɪˈfɪnd/ (동사) — 방어하다. To ward off attacks against (something or someone).
- romantic /ɹoʊˈmæn(t)ɪk/ (형용사) — 로맨틱하다. Fantastic, unrealistic (of an idea etc.); fanciful, sentimental, impractical (of a person).
- nevertheless /ˌnɛvɚðəˈlɛs/ (부사) — 그러나, 하지만. In spite of what preceded; yet.
- compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/ (명사) — 동정. Deep awareness of the suffering of others that people have to the point of them being motivated to relieve such states.
- bully /ˈbʊli/ (명사) — 괴롭히는 사람, 깡패. A person who is intentionally physically or emotionally cruel to others, especially to those whom they perceive as being vulnerable or of less power or…
- accusation /ˌæk.jʊˈzeɪ.ʃ(ə)n/ (명사) — 고발. The act of accusing.
- dramatic /dɹəˈmætɪk/ (형용사) — 극적. Of or relating to the drama.
- friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/ (명사) — 우정, 우의. The condition of being friends.
- fundamental /ˌfʌn.dəˈmɛn.təl/ (형용사) — 기본적. Related to a foundation, base, or basis; serving as a foundation.
- humanity /hjuˈmænɪti/ (명사) — 인류, 인간. Humankind; human beings as a group.
- darkness /ˈdɑɹk.nɪs/ (명사) — 암흑, 어두움. The state of being dark; lack of light; the absolute or comparative absence of light.
- phrase /ˈfɹeɪ̯z/ (명사) — 어구, 구. A short written or spoken expression.
- parallel /ˈpæ.ɹəˌlɛl/ (형용사) — 평행의. Equally distant from one another at all points.
- disgusting /dɪsˈɡʌstɪŋ/ (형용사) — 역겹다. Causing disgust; repulsive; distasteful.
- sink /ˈsɪŋk/ (동사) — 가라앉다. To descend or submerge (or to cause to do so) into a liquid or similar substance.
영상에 나오는 구동사
- pick up (동사) — 줍다. To lift; to grasp and raise.
- point out (동사) — 가리키다. To identify among a group of similar subjects, or in a scene where the subject might not be readily seen or noticed, with a gesture of the body.
주의할 발음
화자는 we're, can't, don't 같은 축약형과 약화된 형태를 21번 사용합니다. 들리는 대로 짧게 발음하세요.
- “th” 소리: nevertheless /ˌnɛvɚðəˈlɛs/, loathe /ˈloʊð/
- “sh”와 “zh” 소리: compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, accusation /ˌæk.jʊˈzeɪ.ʃ(ə)n/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, conscious /ˈkɑn.ʃəs/, ashamed /əˈʃeɪmd/
- 긴 단어 — 강세 위치에 주의: nevertheless /ˌnɛvɚðəˈlɛs/, accusation /ˌæk.jʊˈzeɪ.ʃ(ə)n/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, fundamental /ˌfʌn.dəˈmɛn.təl/
이 영상으로 연습하는 방법
- 먼저 말하지 않고 영상을 끝까지 듣고 모르는 단어를 적어 둡니다.
- 0.75배속으로 한 문장씩 섀도잉을 시작하고, 익숙해지면 보통 속도로 돌아갑니다.
- 자신의 목소리를 녹음해 원본과 비교하고, defend, romantic, nevertheless 같은 단어에 특히 주의합니다.
이 영상의 문법
화자가 가장 많이 쓰는 문형을 영상 속 실제 표현과 함께 정리했습니다.
| 문형 | 영상 속 표현 |
|---|---|
| 수동태 be + 과거분사 — 누가 하는지보다 무슨 일이 일어나는지에 초점 | be destroyed · being bullied · are criticised |
| 현재완료 have/has + 과거분사 — 과거의 일이 지금도 관련이 있을 때 | has stuck · have heard · have started |
| 관계절 who / which + 절 — 사람이나 사물에 대한 추가 정보 | People who disagree · people who feel · someone who feels |
쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법
쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.