Pratica di Shadowing: How to Learn to Love Oneself More - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
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Every day, especially in the era of social media, from the mental health perspective, probably the single worst invention of modern times,
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we are likely to face enemies.
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People who disagree with us, people who tell us we're bad, people who say we should be ashamed of ourselves or even be destroyed.
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The common sense advice from well-meaning friends is just not to listen, to shrug it off, to assert that no one cares,
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that the bully is mad or mentally unwell and to suggest a change of scene.
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It is very kind and sadly, usually, for many of us, entirely ineffective.
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The question then emerges – why is it that some people find it extremely hard to defend themselves,
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either in the sense of practically answering back to an enemy
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or simply of not caving in internally in the face of an attack?
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Why is it that when they are being bullied at work, some people are able to mount a polite,
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calm fight back while others melt into self-loathing and despair?
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Why is it that if they are criticised unfairly in a romantic context, some people are able to point out that the criticism is not right
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and get their side of the story across and feel steady and solid while others descend at once into paranoia.
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We might put it like this – in order to be able to defend oneself against an external foe, one has to be on one's own side.
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And this is not, for some of us, as easy as it may sound.
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Without us necessarily even quite realising the fact, entire personalities may be geared towards interpreting ourselves as bad,
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wrong, a mistake, shameful and a piece of shit.
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This may sound dramatic and we know in our intellectual adult selves that this can't be entirely right.
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Nevertheless, deep down this isn't only slightly right, it's the fundamental truth about us.
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A first step towards dealing with an external enemy is realising
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that our personalities are built up in such a way
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that we're going to have a big problem on our hands whenever we face opposition.
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We should expect to find this hard, and we do.
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We are – and there is no pejorative association around this whatsoever – a bit mentally unwell in this area.
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We therefore need to call for help, extend a lot of compassion to ourselves and devote all the critical care we're going to need to get through the crisis.
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We then need to take on board
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that unfortunately the real enemy we're harbouring is not
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so much currently outside of us – though they are there too – as inside of us.
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We need to ask ourselves why does the accusation feel so true?
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Our conscious minds give us access to only a fraction of the information about us.
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Just as we can't intuitively understand how a cell operates in our very own body,
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so the make-up of most of our emotional brain is sunk in darkness.
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However, there will be a history to our self-loathing.
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We hate ourselves because somewhere along the line, we were not properly loved.
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Somewhere in the past, we heard a story, you're a piece of shit, you don't deserve to be F off and the story has stuck.
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How could someone facing an accusation that they are an idiot
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but who inside has a voice saying that they're a moron ever get the strength to defend themselves?
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They know in the adult part of the mind
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that they should be fighting back but they can't because inside all they hear is, you are everything your enemy is saying you are and more.
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They identify entirely with their aggressor.
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This can get pretty dangerous pretty fast.
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If the external enemy is vicious enough and joins artfully enough with the internal enemy, there can be suicidal thoughts and perhaps suicide itself.
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The defenceless are the opposite of self-righteous.
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To their enemies, they are implicitly saying, I want to kill myself more than you ever want to kill me.
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The solution to all this is a large, naive word we'll have heard before but which we need to grasp in its life-saving dimension – love.
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We need to hear often enough and clearly enough from other human beings –
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and they don't need to be romantic partners – that contrary to what the internal enemy is saying, we are decent enough, not perfect,
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but that isn't the criterion for deserving to exist.
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We need to fix ourselves by absorbing – properly absorbing – the kindness of others.
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The The problem is that people who feel their pieces of shit aren't very good at letting others take care of them.
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They don't know how to ask for help, and when help is given, they may initially push it away, accusing a kind friend of being weird or inadequate.
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Why, after all, would they be seeking to help a freak?
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We know from the condition known as body dysmorphia
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that it's no use telling someone who feels they're disgusting that they're in fact, oh, very nice looking.
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We need to help them to understand how they grew to hate themselves so much and show them,
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via friendship, that there could be another way of relating to who they are.
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We have some hints about how our minds work from the way we acquire language.
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Children fluently pick up incredibly complex patterns of speech from listening to those around them in the early years.
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A parallel emotional process is going on.
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If someone when we were little was speaking hate and shame and guilt to us, we will have started to speak like that to ourselves.
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And it won't be easy in adulthood to learn a new language, let alone to come to speak it fluently to ourselves.
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Telling someone mired in self-hatred to cheer up
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or like themselves a bit more is going to be as impatient as telling someone from England to just speak Bulgarian.
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It's going to take time and a lot of training.
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Nevertheless, if we want to think about what an ambitious project for humanity would look like,
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it would be a giant program of learning to replace the internalised languages of hate
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and enmity with those of love and compassion.
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We've been trying to do this for a couple of millennia at least, but we've done a pretty poor job of it so far and the project is more urgent than ever.
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So we might start today by speaking a few stumbling phrases of love to the self-hating part of ourselves
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and then to someone we know near us who's perhaps right now mired in shame and inadequacy.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questo video contiene 70 frasi e 1116 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 6:47. Chi parla ha un ritmo naturale di circa 164 parole al minuto, vicino a una conversazione quotidiana. Il 86% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole meno comuni del video, con pronuncia e significato:
- defend /dɪˈfɪnd/ (verbo) — difendere, proteggere. To ward off attacks against (something or someone).
- romantic /ɹoʊˈmæn(t)ɪk/ (aggettivo) — romantico. Fantastic, unrealistic (of an idea etc.); fanciful, sentimental, impractical (of a person).
- nevertheless /ˌnɛvɚðəˈlɛs/ (avverbio) — però, nonostante. In spite of what preceded; yet.
- mentally /ˈmɛntəli/ (avverbio) — mentalmente. In a mental manner; an idea thought out in one's mind, as opposed to an idea spoken orally.
- compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/ (sostantivo) — compassione. Deep awareness of the suffering of others that people have to the point of them being motivated to relieve such states.
- bully /ˈbʊli/ (sostantivo) — bullo, spaccone. A person who is intentionally physically or emotionally cruel to others, especially to those whom they perceive as being vulnerable or of less power or…
- absorb /æbˈsɔɹb/ (verbo) — assorbire, incorporare. To include so that it no longer has separate existence; to overwhelm; to cause to disappear as if by swallowing up; to incorporate; to assimilate; to take in…
- accusation /ˌæk.jʊˈzeɪ.ʃ(ə)n/ (sostantivo) — accusa. The act of accusing.
- necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/ (avverbio) — necessariamente, a tutti i costi. Inevitably; of necessity.
- gear /ɡɪɚ/ (sostantivo) — attrezzo, parafernalia. Equipment or paraphernalia, especially that used for an athletic endeavor.
- dramatic /dɹəˈmætɪk/ (aggettivo) — drammatico. Of or relating to the drama.
- decent /ˈdiː.sənt/ (aggettivo) — perbene. Appropriate; suitable for the circumstances.
- friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/ (sostantivo) — amicizia. The condition of being friends.
- incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/ (avverbio) — incredibilmente. In an incredible manner; not to be believed.
- fundamental /ˌfʌn.dəˈmɛn.təl/ (aggettivo) — fondamentale. Related to a foundation, base, or basis; serving as a foundation.
I phrasal verb che sentirai
- fight back /faɪt bæk/ (verbo) — difendersi, contrastare. To defend oneself by fighting.
- ask for (verbo) — chiedere. To request; to order.
- cheer up (verbo) — incoraggiare, sostenere. To become happier or less downcast.
- deal with (verbo) — fare i conti. To handle verbally or in some form of artistic expression; to address or discuss as a subject.
- get through /ɡɛt ˈθɹu/ (verbo) — superare, farcela. To overcome; to endure.
- go on /ˈɡoʊˌɒn/ (verbo) — continuare. To continue in extent.
- pick up (verbo) — tirare su, sollevare. To lift; to grasp and raise.
- point out (verbo) — additare. To identify among a group of similar subjects, or in a scene where the subject might not be readily seen or noticed, with a gesture of the body.
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 21 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come we're, can't, don't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “th”: nevertheless /ˌnɛvɚðəˈlɛs/, loathe /ˈloʊð/
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, accusation /ˌæk.jʊˈzeɪ.ʃ(ə)n/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, conscious /ˈkɑn.ʃəs/, ashamed /əˈʃeɪmd/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: nevertheless /ˌnɛvɚðəˈlɛs/, accusation /ˌæk.jʊˈzeɪ.ʃ(ə)n/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, fundamental /ˌfʌn.dəˈmɛn.təl/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come defend, romantic, nevertheless.
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | be destroyed · being bullied · are criticised |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | has stuck · have heard · have started |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | People who disagree · people who feel · someone who feels |
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.