Pratique du Shadowing: Finding Peace Through Family Estrangement - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
Choisissez un mode d'entraînement
Chaque mode ouvre une salle d'entraînement en plein écran.
134 phrases
Si les phrases sont trop courtes ou trop longues, cliquez sur Edit pour les ajuster.
1
it's such a thin line between like what's appropriate
2
and what's gone too far because as therapists we do see our clients suffering
3
and as lindsay mentioned i don't say like you need to leave this relationship
4
but i might think like i wonder how you will feel
5
if you did is this a new thing
6
because i mean for many many many years of doing shows
7
and talking to families from all over the country and the world.
8
When there's a crisis, people just sort of figured it out or came together at Thanksgiving and had a big fight.
9
But is this new?
10
Yeah, I mean, there's always been estrangements, right?
11
Forever there's been estrangements.
12
But it's new the way we think about family.
13
There's been a radical change in the way that we think about family.
14
The old days of honor thy mother and thy father, respect thy elders, families forever, has given way to this much more of an emphasis personal happiness,
15
personal growth, my identity, my political beliefs, my mental health.
16
So much so that today protecting my mental health is the single most common thing
17
that I see in every single letter from every estranged child.
18
And has this been exacerbated or has this increased because of social media?
19
Oh, there's no question.
20
Absolutely.
21
Yeah.
22
Because you've got 2 billion hashtags toxic family.
23
And everybody's got to, you know, if you line up and you're an estranged parent, you're gonna get onto a Facebook site.
24
If you're a strange adult child, you're gonna probably get onto Reddit or something like that.
25
And you're gonna get support for your perspective.
26
But these aren't people who actually know your parents or know your adult child.
27
They're gonna kind of tell you what you wanna hear.
28
So there's this very inflammatory reaction that people have as a result of it.
29
And partly that happens because we've become so divided as a society.
30
People are kind of looking for their tribes because their tribes are, you know, they don't have them anymore.
31
We're lonely.
32
We have rising rates of mental ill use.
33
But your tribe used to be your family.
34
Your tribe used to be your family, exactly.
35
And it still could if we figure out how to talk to each other.
36
Well, it's so interesting because, you know, I've been talking to people for a number of years.
37
And I remember back in the day, meaning 80s, 90s, the aughts, the very idea of having a disagreement with your family
38
and the very idea of divorcing your parent or removing yourself from a toxic situation was a foreign concept to people.
39
But now it's like common understanding.
40
It's common understanding.
41
It's also positioned as a sort of virtuous act of protecting our mental health.
42
And you know what?
43
Sometimes it is.
44
There are truly abusive, difficult parents and family members.
45
But there's a lot of people getting estranged today who aren't abusive, who are loving, decent, hardworking, loving, caring parents, and they're being cut off.
46
And part of the problem with us as therapists is I hope we'll talk about because as therapists,
47
we become what the sociologists Alison Pugh calls detachment brokers where we help people not feel guilty
48
about feeling responsible for our parents.
49
That gets sort of pathologized as being codependent or parentified or that kind of thing.
50
And therapists are sort of greenlighting a lot of estrangements, particularly when you use language like, oh, your mom's a narcissist or your dad's a borderline
51
or they're a sociopath or they're gaslighting you or they're a boundary crosser.
52
And once you say that to somebody, once you tell somebody that their parent or their family member or their child is that way, you just greenlit them cutting them off.
53
Because now it's a virtuous act of protecting your mental health.
54
I think that's a problem.
55
Okay.
56
Dr. Linz Gibson is here, and she's a clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author of Adult Children of Emotionally Inmature Parents.
57
And I hear it is sold now over 2 million copies and many people credit your book as the catalyst,
58
actually, for this surge in adult children going no contact.
59
Now, her upcoming book is How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child.
60
So, Dr. Gibson, what is it that you were seeing in your own practice?
61
Yeah, as a psychotherapist, what I was seeing was people coming in,
62
not identifying the problem as being with their parents or their family members.
63
Usually it was some other kind of stress.
64
It could be work stress or friend stress, that kind of thing.
65
And then about three or four sessions in, they would start talking about what was going on with the family.
66
Sort of like their daily life stress.
67
And from there, we would begin to get a picture of this old underlying tension
68
that had been going on for a long time with the
69
But very few people early in the day would come in and say, I have a problem with my mother or I have a problem with my son.
70
They would come in with some other life stress, and then we would get to the family issue.
71
What I found- Is the family issue at the root of most things?
72
Well, I don't know if it's at the root or whether it just resonates with what's going on now.
73
It's very hard to tell.
74
But what I found was that the coping mechanisms
75
that they had learned to use with their parents
76
when their parents were either trying to control them or get them to do what they wanted
77
were being transferred to their current relationships or their work relationships.
78
Could you give us some factors that you believe make it necessary to protect somebody's emotional health by going no contact?
79
I mean, when you say to someone, or do you say to them, perhaps you should go no contact.
80
Yeah, I don't say that.
81
You don't say that.
82
I don't say that.
83
Let them decide for themselves.
84
Well, my job as a therapist is to help people...
85
Come to their own conclusions.
86
Well, not only come to their own conclusions, but I want them to be able to turn within and test out their own inner guidance.
87
In other words, get back in touch with their own feelings and how things affect them.
88
And lots of times when you've had a dominant parent, that ability to know what you actually feel think has been messed with okay
89
because it becomes an issue of you love your parent by agreeing with what they see
90
so actually no i'm all about helping people to understand the dynamics of the relationship how it's affecting them
91
and then they make the decision about what they want to
92
do well how do you you talk to them about your emotionally immature parent, and how do you determine whether a parent is emotionally immature?
93
Yeah.
94
I really stay away from those terms in psychotherapy, because I'm not there.
95
But you wrote a whole book about it.
96
I did write the book.
97
I did write the book.
98
When I'm coming in, I'm coming to the lady.
99
I'm coming to the lady who wrote the book about emotionally immature parents, OK?
100
Absolutely whether you mention it or not in our session.
101
Yeah.
102
Right.
103
But when I'm talking with them in the session, I'm describing behavior.
104
They're describing behavior
105
and we're talking about the effect of those behaviors on them
106
down the road you know once they've read the book yeah then we might use
107
that shorthand about emotional immaturity but at the time
108
we're just trying to understand their subjective experience of that parent
109
okay i want to bring in nedra goldberg to wab nedra is a licensed therapist
110
and a relationship expert known as the Boundary Queen on social media.
111
And she's the author of the New York Times bestseller, Drama Free, a guide to managing unhealthy family relationships.
112
And her upcoming book is The Balancing Act, Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing Yourself.
113
Welcome.
114
I see you nodding here and you're nodding for both of them.
115
So what does that mean?
116
Yeah.
117
I mean, I think it's such a thin line between like what's appropriate and what's gone too far because as therapists,
118
we do see our clients suffering.
119
And as Lindsay mentioned, I don't say like you need to leave this relationship, but I might think like,
120
I wonder how you will feel if you did because there's so much pain for so long.
121
But you wrote, you wrote that no contact is not the first option as much as a last resort.
122
Yes.
123
Yeah.
124
Yes.
125
And when is it a last resort, do you think?
126
I think when you've assessed whether the relationship is safe, if you can handle the consequences of actually leaving that relationship,
127
it's our work to help our clients determine, is the relationship just toxic or is it annoying?
128
Are these some behaviors we can live with with people?
129
Is it possible for us to have less contact instead of no contact?
130
Have we set expectations?
131
Are they even clear about a problem?
132
Because sometimes we haven't talked to people about the problems we're talking about in therapy or with our friends.
133
And they need to know in order for us to have a better relationship with them.
134
Thank you.
Télécharger l'application
Tout pour parler couramment
Prononciation IAChaque phrase notée
Phonétique (IPA)Maîtrisez chaque son
VocabulaireEnrichissez votre lexique
Jeu de vocabulaireApprenez en jouant
Même chaîne
C1Her Near-Death Experience Came with an Unthinkable Warning
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
Do Our Dogs Miss Us When We’re Away?
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
C1Maria Shriver on Growing up in a Political Household
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B2The Differences Between Generations — And What They Mean for a Changing America
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
One Woman’s Search for Meaning Led Her to AI Delusion
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
Comedian Leanne Morgan Tells Oprah She Almost Gave Up
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
The 50-Cent-a-Day Habit That Really CAN Build Wealth
Business EnglishInterview EnglishUniversity Students
B2Why Are So Many People Finding Stoicism in Our Modern Day?
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B2The Lessons We Need to Learn from the Financial Crash of 1929
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
How writing this novel has helped Mara Brock Akil heal
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B2How to Make Yourself Attractive to Anything You Want
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
Are We Getting Too Comfortable With Claude?
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
How Does Money Factor into Your Life's Purpose
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B2The Reality of Homelessness Most People Never See
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
C11
Ocean Vuong Shares with Oprah What She Meant to Him and His Mother
Working Adults
B21
Drew Barrymore on Finding Purpose When Life Takes an Unexpected Turn
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B2Esther Perel Has a Lot to Say about People Dating Chatbots
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
Author Douglas Stuart Explores Faith and Desire in His Latest Novel
University Students
B25
Mel Robbins Shares Her Rock Bottom Moment
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B23
The Best Leaders All Start with This One Thing
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
FOR YOU
Vidéo recommandée
B21,463
20 phrases
Social Media and Your Mental Health
TeensDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B23
147 phrases
Why She Chose Excitement Over Stability
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B252
22 phrases
its time to have a conversation with them
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
131 phrases
Why Have We Become So Mean?
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1816 phrases
Harvard Psychiatrist: 90% of Criticism is Just Projection | Dr. K
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B27
120 phrases
Millions are choosing isolation over everything, and it’s a sign that…
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B214
11 phrases
Co-parenting w/ an addict: divorce & raising a son w/ autism ft Laura Clery
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B24
224 phrases
Without Family There Is No Success! | 🎧Podcast and Chill | Intermediate
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
36 phrases
3 Signs of "Mother Hunger" | Mel Robbins #shorts
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B23
44 phrases
How Are Genetic Tests Changing Families?
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau B2 s’appuie sur la vidéo « Finding Peace Through Family Estrangement ». Les mots qui reviennent le plus souvent : parent, relationship, therapist, contact. Cette vidéo contient 134 phrases et 1576 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 9:35. Le locuteur parle à un rythme naturel d’environ 164 mots par minute, proche d’une conversation courante. 86 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais ; le reste mérite d’être vu avant de commencer.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| therapist nom | /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/ | thérapeute |
| distress nom | /dɪˈstɹɛs/ | détresse |
| estrange verbe | /ɪˈstɹeɪnd͡ʒ/ | éloigner |
| estrangement nom | /ɪsˈtɹeɪnd͡ʒmənt/ | éloignement |
| immature adjectif | /ɪməˈtjʊə(ɹ)/ | immature, vert |
| greenlight verbe | /ˈɡɹiːnlaɪt/ | donner le/son feu vert pour |
| virtuous adjectif | /ˈvɝt͡ʃuəs/ | vertueux |
| nod verbe | /nɑd/ | dodeliner, hocher |
| boundary nom | /ˈbaʊndɹi/ | frontière, limite |
| bestseller nom | bestseller | |
| borderline nom | /ˈboɹ.dɚˌlaɪn/ | frontière |
| detachment nom | /dɪˈtæt͡ʃmənt/ | détachement |
| exacerbate verbe | /ɪɡˈzæsɚˌbeɪt/ | exacerber, aggraver |
| hardworking adjectif | /ˈhɑːɹdˌwɜːɹ.kɪŋ/ | industrieux, diligent |
| immaturity nom | /ɪməˈt͡ʃʊɹɪti/ | immaturité |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| cut off verbe | /ˌkʌt ˈɔf/ [ˌkɐɾ ˈɔf] | tailler, couper |
| figure out verbe | cerner |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- I think that's a problem.
- Gibson, what is it that you were seeing in your own practice?
- When I'm coming in, I'm coming to the lady.
- Are these some behaviors we can live with with people?
- Have we set expectations?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| « Used to » used to + verbe — une habitude ou un état passé qui n’est plus vrai | used to be |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | there's always been · there's been · has given |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | been exacerbated · being cut · is sold |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 45 contractions et formes réduites, comme don't, I'm, they're. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « th »: therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, psychotherapy /ˌsaɪkoʊˈθɛɹəpi/, sociopath /ˈsəʊ.si.ə(ʊ)ˌpæθ/, unhealthy /ʌnˈhɛl.θi/
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, shorthand /ˈʃɔɹthænd/, hashtag /ˈhæʃˌtæɡ/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, exacerbate /ɪɡˈzæsɚˌbeɪt/, immaturity /ɪməˈt͡ʃʊɹɪti/, psychotherapy /ˌsaɪkoʊˈθɛɹəpi/, sociopath /ˈsəʊ.si.ə(ʊ)ˌpæθ/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: hardworking /ˈhɑːɹdˌwɜːɹ.kɪŋ/, shorthand /ˈʃɔɹthænd/, hashtag /ˈhæʃˌtæɡ/, unhealthy /ʌnˈhɛl.θi/
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: estrange /ɪˈstɹeɪnd͡ʒ/, estrangement /ɪsˈtɹeɪnd͡ʒmənt/, virtuous /ˈvɝt͡ʃuəs/, detachment /dɪˈtæt͡ʃmənt/, immaturity /ɪməˈt͡ʃʊɹɪti/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, distress /dɪˈstɹɛs/, estrange /ɪˈstɹeɪnd͡ʒ/, estrangement /ɪsˈtɹeɪnd͡ʒmənt/, immature /ɪməˈtjʊə(ɹ)/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme therapist, distress, estrange.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.