Shadowing Practice: What to Say When Texts Go Badly - Learn English Speaking with Video

בחר מצב תרגול

כל מצב פותח חדר תרגול במסך מלא.

499 משפטים

אם המשפטים קצרים או ארוכים מדי, לחץ על ערוך כדי להתאים אותם.

Today we're trying something different.

I am looking at text messages and emails from people who are having a very difficult time in a conversation, both at work and at home,

and they're not sure how to navigate them.

And it's my goal here to try and help.

So if you have a conversation right now, and it's in text message form or an email that you can screenshot it,

there is a link in the description that you can send it to me

and I can help in any way I can navigate, guide, and give advice for how to handle that conversation.

Okay, this one is a adult child asking her parents for a doll back

that is at her parents' house that she had growing up, and she wants to give it to her daughter.

This is dad responding.

I talked with mom about the doll.

I understand this may bring up sadness or frustration.

One, I like that.

I like that language.

I understand this may bring up sadness and frustration.

Getting that out loud.

This isn't about anger or withholding because we don't see you.

I like that language.

What this isn't about is X, Y, and Z.

We're just not ready to let go of these memories.

Man, that's honest.

That's a really vulnerable statement.

They represent a time in our family that we miss deeply, including you.

I hope you can understand that even if you don't fully agree.

I have to say hats off to dad on the statement that says, I understand, I can see, I sense.

Here is a time that we miss and we miss you.

And we're having a really hard time that we don't let go of these memories.

He continues, those memories of you kids are precious to us,

especially after losing what I assume is a brother and with your family choosing to remain distant from our lives.

Man, that's deep.

The things we still have from when you kids were growing up mean everything to us.

They are really all we have left. That hits.

If you ever want to reconnect, we would really welcome that.

I'm not trying to pressure you.

Just leaving the door open.

Awesome language.

I pray for this every single day.

Love you, Dad.

okay full stop I I need to give credit to this dad's text message

there are thousands of kids who wish their father had this amount of emotional empathy understanding patience and to say hey I

see you and I know this is going to bring up frustration I'm telling you what's going on The door is open.

This is all we have to bring on to.

This is all we have to grab on to.

I think this is an excellent text message to be able to piece together.

So hats off to him.

Daughter responds fairly.

It is also a very strong source of memories of my childhood, and I wanted to pass it to my children.

She ends with, I'll leave it alone.

Now, I like that she adds to the conversation rather than pointing it down.

She doesn't attack dad.

She adds to the conversation.

She says, it is also, meaning, hey, this is also on the table.

She doesn't begin with, no, it's not, or who cares, or I don't care.

There's not an attack.

It says, it is also a very strong source of memories of my childhood, and I want to pass it on to my children.

I will leave it alone.

Now that's her option.

That's her choice to just simply drop it, leave it alone.

You know what?

It's not that big of a deal.

I'm going to pick my battles.

I'm not going to make a thing of it.

And you know what?

That's also a very mature way of handling this.

I approve of that short, concise.

She keeps it very brief.

I'll leave it alone.

By also saying, hey, this is something I would have want to have for my kids.

Another option, should she have wanted to bring this up, is to say it's not about the memories or the past

that we're holding onto is also about the future that we're building.

Yeah, of course, they would probably, the parents would, in a heartbeat, replace this doll that they have,

these memories, these childhood toys with an actual relationship with their child, but that's not gonna happen.

So they're grasping on to anything.

So the deeper question is, is it about the past that you're holding onto or is it about the future that you're building with future generations,

the future love that you want to put into your life the abundance that there is for you to add more.

with this daughter's children and the memories of what she's wanted to have.

I need to say this is a very, I think this is a respectful conversation.

I think this seeks understanding and clarity from both sides.

And her option to eventually leave it alone is hers to choose.

So I'd say bravo to her for realizing it's not a battle she ultimately wants to pick.

And I'd say very much kudos to the father for laying this out in a very kind, compassionate way.

All right, here we go.

Jefferson, you'll love this one.

A person I share a mailbox with, an inbox email inbox with, reads every email I send, like her sent out box,

and then tells me what to say next time or what she would have done.

I've been in the role three years and she's been in it longer than we are on the same level.

I shouldn't have responded, I know, but I did.

Oh my gosh, let me see what this is.

Okay, here the other lady says, in case you get more people asking about whether directors can approve things now under the new allegations

and a bunch of legal jargon.

Obviously, she only knows this because she reads this lady's outbound scent box.

This lady says, or the response is, oh, I keep forgetting you read every email I send.

No time for that.

The other lady says, oh, not at all.

Not all of them the other lady says not all of

them by any means not even most only incoming ones generally not outgoing um

i only look at the subject line

or the first line that's visible as a preview

if i happen to pop into the mailbox

100

when it's there i just saw what they were asking um

101

and the response is not reading that that was her response not reading

102

that i secretly i love that i love it she's like, nah, I don't even care.

103

I'm not reading that.

104

I'm not even giving that the time of day.

105

Here this lady is to have a shared email,

106

inbox and outbox, and she goes back and reads her sent mail and then goes on top of her to say,

107

hey, this is what you should have said.

108

This is what you should have done.

109

And her response after getting some lame excuse is, I'm not reading that.

110

I'm not reading that.

111

Two thumbs up from me.

112

And here's the difference.

113

She's being critiqued by her coworker that's on the same level as she is.

114

It would be different if she's being micromanaged by a superior,

115

a manager, a boss, but she's being micromanaged by somebody who's doing the same thing that she is.

116

There's no reason to be putting up with somebody who's trying to micromanage

117

and control everything about it and going back and saying, oh, what you should have said was this, what I would have done is X,

118

Y, and Z, and they're on the same plane as you.

119

I think what this lady says, this message that she's giving, not reading that, is saying, hey, I'm not putting up with that.

120

Well, I'm not going to do that.

121

I'm in support of this message.

122

And to take this a step further, the person who's sent mail is being read by this coworker, I would challenge you to say,

123

have a conversation and begin with when you, I feel.

124

Hey, when you come back and tell me what I should have said

125

or what you would have said or some context of that is obviously some attempt to try and sway how I communicate,

126

it makes me feel controlled.

127

It makes me feel micromanaged.

128

It makes me feel like you think I'm incompetent when you come over in Monday morning quarterback,

129

my own messages, it makes me feel as though you don't think I am competent and capable of performing my job.

130

And that really upsets me.

131

That's an honest conversation because I can tell from these messages, this is probably somebody who's just a busy,

132

nosy, busy body who is trying to be in everybody's business, who needs to be reminded that that's not helpful and that's not welcome.

133

And when you make that very clear through an honest conversation, things can have a way of turning for the better.

134

But this not reading that, that's a great way to start.

135

All right, this one is about an employee's email to a boss.

136

Hey Jefferson, I sent an email to my boss about taking time off the week after my birthday.

137

On August 7th, he just sent me this reply.

138

I haven't taken PTO during the summer and I've worked in this company for 13 years.

139

Never taken PTO during the summer.

140

The response message subject line is time off.

141

It's your call if you think you have earned the time and it's appropriate to take a week off for a birthday.

142

Talk about a passive aggressive line of text.

143

If it's your call, if you think you've earned this and you think it's appropriate.

144

to take a week off for a birthday.

145

Man, you get that, you say, yes, actually, I do think it's appropriate, thank you so much, I was hoping you'd say that.

146

Here's one way to respond.

147

To a passive aggressive comment, respond with, it seems like, it sounds like.

148

For example, it sounds like you don't agree with the decision to take time off.

149

It sounds like you disagree with this.

150

It sounds like you have a reason for that statement.

151

Whenever you say it seems like it sounds like you're hinting at,

152

hey, there's something else behind the feelings here that you're picking up on that they're not saying.

153

That would require a conversation.

154

I would suggest a phone call, an in -person meeting to say,

155

hey, you know that I've been here 13 years.

156

I've been working here a long time.

157

Is there something that I'm missing?

158

Is there something else you would like to see to help you feel like I have earned the time

159

and the appropriateness to take off on my PTO time for my birthday during the summer?

160

Having that conversation, is there anything else?

161

Is there something that would make you feel more comfortable?

162

I'm not trying to rock the boat.

163

I'm not trying to create an issue.

164

I want this to be your call too.

165

I want this for both of us to be involved in this decision

166

and not to where I feel like it's a yes

167

and you're going to be resentful and it's always going to be these backhanded type of comments like this.

168

Sounds like you disagree with this decision.

169

It feels like you disagree or you have other feelings and opinions on this.

170

Can we meet tomorrow to discuss this on the phone?

171

Can we meet in person to talk about this?

172

And then there you are able to have the conversation of when I read your message,

173

it felt like there were some other feelings that caused you some heartburn, and I want to make sure that's not there.

174

What else could I do to help you feel like I've earned on top of the 13 years I've been here,

175

a week off for my birthday, which I'm certainly not trying to make a habit.

176

I've showed my loyalty in that I've been part of this and I want to be,

177

and I would love it if this is something you're in agreement with too.

178

Before we keep going, I'm going to take a moment to tell you about Athena.

179

Sometimes it's not that you need more hours in the day.

180

Truth is, you need somebody you trust to take hours away from you.

181

Athena matches you with a full -time dedicated executive assistant to help you with all those things

182

that fall through the cracks and fall off your plate, like booking that doctor's appointment you know that you need to have been doing,

183

or maybe setting those travel plans, or maybe ordering that gift, or ordering things around the house, or maybe in the business,

184

things like responding to emails and calls that you've been meaning to get to, but you can't.

185

On average, Athena users have gotten up to 15 hours back per week, and that's pretty incredible.

186

Right now, you can go to athena .com slash Jefferson and find your dedicated full -time executive assistant today.

187

Right now, athena .com slash Jefferson.

188

Find your executive assistant.

189

And now, let's keep going.

190

Okay, this one is between a mom and an adult son.

191

And the mom is asking the son if the kids, the grandkids, her grandkids, received some postcards that she sent.

192

Context is, they've tried counseling a few years it didn't go very well.

193

And so they don't text and communicate all that often.

194

The mom says, happy Sunday.

195

Did the girls receive their postcards from London?

196

Son responds, I don't know if this relationship can be repaired, but if so, the first step isn't sending postcards.

197

He could have just said, I don't know, or yes, or no. Just answer.

198

That wasn't an invitation for that sharp of a cut.

199

I mean, that's a very acute angle to come right into.

200

She's asking, did the girls receive their postcards?

201

And it's, I don't know if this relationship can be repaired, but if so, the first step isn't sending postcards.

202

Yeah, that's unnecessary.

203

That's hurtful.

204

I would rather you not respond at all to it

205

or respond very briefly and just answer the question rather than sending

206

that because what you've just done what the son's done is just open up a whole can of worms

207

which is evidenced by the following mom then says just

208

because you have a problem with me it would be unfortunate

209

if you let that affect the daughter's relationship with me her granddaughters you

210

You will have to answer for your choices.

211

So I hope you think about the consequences of your choices.

212

Okay, this is alarm, big alarm number two, okay?

213

If you read how many times she, the mom says you in this, just because you have a problem with me,

214

if you let that affect the relationship, you will have to answer for your choices.

215

And I hope you think about the consequences of your choices.

216

Six times in two sentences, she mentions the word you.

217

That should send fire alarm sounds.

218

There should be blaring warning signs all across the board

219

that what she's propping up is just pouring gasoline on a fire that he started.

220

That was some friction and now it's going to turn ugly.

221

He says, you don't have a relationship with any of us.

222

That was your decision.

223

If you have no interest in building a healthy relationship, we will not have a relationship.

224

Meanwhile, my man, she just asked, did the girls receive the postcards and you're already shutting it down?

225

I mean, a postcard is just something that's simple, thinking of you.

226

It's not an offensive gesture.

227

You don't have any relationship with any of us.

228

That was your decision.

229

Most likely that was probably two -way.

230

It's a two -way street there.

231

If you have no interest in building a healthy relationship, we will not have a relationship.

232

Okay, this is getting really, it could have just stopped there and let that breathe, but they are sending it rapid fire.

233

And here she goes, I've tried.

234

I've apologized.

235

I have forgiven your over -the -top disrespect.

236

It says, you had for me as a child.

237

What, I don't know, what more do you want?

238

Man, how many times has that in a family argument caused way more pain?

239

Anything that follows after the question of what else do you want from me does not go well.

240

That's a hypothetical question.

241

That is a question out of anger, out of resentment, out of fear, out of frustration, out of loss, okay?

242

And all it says is nothing positive.

243

When you face that on the other side of it, what she has, you used me for this, I did this, I did chores,

244

I did this, I did this.

245

You don't need me for anything.

246

That's some big vulnerable, I feel like that's some big feelings buying all this.

247

You don't need me for anything now that you are a big shot.

248

So we don't have a relationship.

249

And I have accepted that.

250

So here the son says, you're the reason why we don't have a relationship.

251

And she goes, what are you talking about?

252

What else do you want from me?

253

I've done everything.

254

You're the reason why.

255

No, you're the reason why we don't have a relationship.

256

So both of them are pointing towards you, you, you, and they're escalating this.

257

Now I'm seeing for the first time at least some better language to this

258

and it's this the son says I'm not having this conversation via text

259

and I'm not having it right now now I wish he would have taken

260

that sentence and moved it way up to the top

261

if he wasn't in

262

if he wasn't in a place to have this you could have spared a lot of problems by

263

that sentence and putting it at the top I wish I wish this this was the only sentence of this response.

264

It wasn't.

265

He enter new paragraph.

266

Oh, I've never heard an apology or even acknowledgement that you realize how toxic your words and actions have been, including these today.

267

Enter new paragraph.

268

Again, I'm not interested in an unhealthy relationship.

269

You aren't entitled to access to me or my family.

270

That's true.

271

Get help.

272

Please stop texting me.

273

Oh, okay.

274

When you tell somebody, get help, please get help.

275

Do you think they put any blame on themselves?

276

Do you think that all of a sudden you become the white knight of like, hey, be well, please get help for yourself.

277

Stop texting me.

278

Well, it's easy to say, please stop texting me after, you know, looks like four different responses by him engaging in in the communication.

279

If he had just said, I'm not having this conversation via text right now, I will communicate with you later, period.

280

That would have saved so much harm than what he just did.

281

Here she says, love is a choice.

282

I choose to love you.

283

I like that.

284

But from a distance, because I don't deserve any more abuse ever from anybody.

285

Man, there is something to be said for the text and response that goes too far

286

because it creates so much more damage.

287

It's like compound interest.

288

The pain is compounded.

289

The anger, the frustration, the hurt.

290

compounds.

291

People have this all the time with parents and adult children where there's miscommunication.

292

And that is, what do you want from me?

293

I've done all this.

294

I've done all that.

295

Here's what I would have wanted to see.

296

When she says, happy Sunday, did the girls receive their postcards from London?

297

I would have wanted to see either one, hey, I'd rather not have this conversation via text.

298

I'll communicate with you a little bit later.

299

I would have rather seen a simple answer to her question.

300

Yes, they did.

301

Thank you.

302

And leave it at that.

303

Or three, just leave it alone for a few days and respond later when you're more controlled.

304

I don't know if this relationship can be repaired, but if so, the first step isn't sending postcards.

305

That is a slam the door in your face and totally is opposite of the person that says,

306

hey you haven't apologized to me and um you're the one

307

that needs to get help and

308

if you have no interest in building a healthy relationship

309

we will not have a relationship in other words hey this is all on you here at least she's trying

310

and the door just got slammed in her face

311

and also she says some things

312

that did not help her um don't communicate on text with these type issues it creates pain

313

and it creates a record it creates a historic record

314

that you go back and you look at this text message

315

and when you're when you're upset you go back

316

and look at it and you're hurt again

317

and every time you talk to them you you go back

318

and you look at it again and you keep it with you

319

and it becomes the remember

320

when you said this i want to emphasize

321

i don't know all the context i don't know in the past what this mother has done

322

or what this son has done i'm only reading the text message

323

and the message as it comes and looking at it from a communication standpoint.

324

So when he says, I don't know if this relationship can be repaired, but if so, the first step isn't sending postcards.

325

What that tells me is that there are much deeper feelings at play.

326

He responded so hot.

327

He came on so strong to a simple question of, did the girls receive their postcards from London.

328

He took what was a level one question and turned it into a level 13 response.

329

And that disparity, that difference says there are much bigger issues at play, and we just don't know about those.

330

And in truth, I can see both sides.

331

I can see from the grandmother's side of saying, hey, I want a relationship with my granddaughters.

332

I also see that the son is absolutely entitled to say, hey, look, I'm not giving you access to my grandkids right now.

333

This is where we are as a family.

334

And I can respect both sides here.

335

I can understand both sides.

336

What I'm looking at is the way in which words are being used to either gain connection or pull it apart.

337

Okay, this is a DM from somebody somebody talking about a friend's daughter.

338

My friend's daughter is 22, living at home, studying law and working at a law firm.

339

She works very hard, but does not help at home or pay rent for food or accommodation.

340

Recently, the mom has asked her daughter to pay rent like $50 a week.

341

Daughter paid one week and now is 10 days late for the next week.

342

Mom sent a text to remind her to pay and daughter replied, why can't you just be a nice person?

343

Just wonder what your response would be, Jefferson.

344

Daughter is very offhand, like not a good relationship with mom.

345

And while she works very hard at her job in law firm, she's also very entitled and a bit on edge.

346

she seems to take everything out on her mom.

347

If you get the message, if somebody asks you, why can't you just be a nice person?

348

There are some ways that we can handle this.

349

When somebody asks, why can't you be a nice person?

350

What they're really saying is, why can't you just do what I I want you to do.

351

Why can't you just be compliant?

352

Why can't you just be a nice person and make me comfortable?

353

Your job, if by being nice, it's to make the other person comfortable, then no, we're not going to be nice.

354

If nice means I have to put aside everything that I do and make my life and my emotions all about you,

355

no, then I'm not going to be a nice person.

356

If I have to make sure that I can't do a thing without passing it by you, and that's what requires.

357

it to be nice, then no, I'm not going to be a nice person.

358

Why can't you just be a nice person?

359

I would encourage her to respond, I'm not being nice.

360

I'm being respectful.

361

Another response could be, I'm not being nice, period.

362

I'm being kind, period.

363

And I'm letting you know that to live in this house and to afford what we have, rent is due on this day.

364

No fight, no tussle, no, hey, why don't you, this is just like you, you're lazy, you don't contribute, all of that garbage.

365

You don't want to be nice.

366

There is a difference between being nice and being kind.

367

Nice says, I'm concerned about the pleasantries, about being polite, about sweeping everything under a rug.

368

We're not going to mention that.

369

I can't be nice.

370

Nice is concerned about the surface.

371

I have to be nice.

372

I can't tell them the truth.

373

That's not nice.

374

Kind is related to the word kin.

375

It's deep.

376

It's connection.

377

It says, kind says, or nice says, I can't tell you that.

378

I can't tell you the truth because that's not nice.

379

Kindness says, I care about you enough to tell you the truth.

380

So you don't want to be nice.

381

You want to be kind.

382

So when somebody says, why can't you be a nice person?

383

Meaning, why can't you, why you can't just be nice?

384

Why can't you make me comfortable?

385

I would encourage a, I'm not trying to be nice, period.

386

I'm being kind, period.

387

And let the conversation go where it needs to.

388

Okay, this one is between very old friends.

389

One of them is now living out of state, comes to visit in town and asks me, so when are we going to hang out?

390

This friend never has any suggestions and almost always needs a ride.

391

Obviously, I use a Jefferson standard reply, but what do you think, Jefferson, was the appropriate response?

392

Okay, I'm looking at the text message here.

393

The question is, hey, what day are you going?

394

Hey, I'll be there Saturday.

395

Response is, well, I have plans Saturday.

396

Okay, well, that's my schedule.

397

Sorry.

398

And then the response from the friend is, you always have an excuse not to meet up.

399

I don't know why we're even friends anymore.

400

And then the response from the person who sent this.

401

They use, did you mean for that statement to hurt me?

402

I like that response.

403

All right.

404

Here's some things that are going on.

405

One, it's friendship we're talking about here and very old friends.

406

So, you know, it goes back a long way.

407

I want you to read when it's, you always have an excuse not to meet up.

408

I don't know why we're not friends anymore.

409

What do you hear in that statement?

410

What do you hear in that statement?

411

Is it anger?

412

Is it really anger.

413

What's that also tied to?

414

Sadness, frustration, sadness.

415

I wanted to see you.

416

I'm let down.

417

I'm frustrated.

418

I expected, I hope to see you and it's not going to work out.

419

And so you're the only person I have to lash out against.

420

You always have an excuse.

421

They use that absolute word of always, which is not true.

422

So that's an indicator right there of where their emotions are.

423

you always have an excuse not to meet up.

424

I don't know why we're even friends anymore.

425

That's just internal dialogue that says, hey, I'm hurt.

426

Your statement question, did you mean for that statement to hurt me?

427

What I love about that is you did a great job of putting the spotlight back onto them.

428

Okay.

429

Instead of a really, you could have argued against the always, could have said, I don't always have an excuse.

430

You know what you did last time and get into an argument or yeah, I don't even know why we're friends anymore either.

431

Yeah.

432

You know what?

433

Forget you.

434

And just let's, let's stop being friends.

435

You didn't do that by using the question, the stuff that I talk about.

436

Did you mean for that statement to hurt me?

437

Great job of you're not even responding to the content of this guy's text.

438

You're, you're responding to the intent to it.

439

And the friend is not responding to this yet.

440

So I'm very curious of how he would respond.

441

Here's one thing I would, there's nothing wrong with this question.

442

If I could add something else to it, maybe something you would want to say afterwards or say in its place is this,

443

I'm sad and frustrated that I don't get to see you too.

444

It makes me upset that we're going to miss each other too.

445

I'm mad that we don't get to hang out too.

446

See, instead of fighting, trying to make them feel something else and tell them how they should feel, when you say, you know what?

447

God, I'm bad about it too.

448

it has a way of bringing connection and understanding because you're affirming and acknowledging that very feeling that they have,

449

something that you should share, right?

450

I'll say, what kind of set it off if I'm the other person?

451

Says, okay, well, that's my schedule, sorry.

452

That's a pretty flippant response.

453

It's a pretty flippant response.

454

Let me ask you the question,

455

could you have said something a little better? could you have put a little bit more effort and time in that response?

456

And if you had, would you have gotten maybe a little bit different response in return?

457

If I'm looking at the start of the message, it says, when is that?

458

What day are you going?

459

What day are you going?

460

You say, hey, the tent will be here Saturday.

461

I said, maybe.

462

I don't know for sure.

463

In other words, you're saying, I might be there.

464

I'll be there Saturday.

465

I told these other people, maybe.

466

I'm not really sure if I'm going to be there.

467

His response is, I have planned Saturday.

468

Bummer.

469

You could have said, oh man, that's a bummer.

470

I'm going to miss you.

471

That makes me sad.

472

That makes me bummed out.

473

Instead, you said, okay, well, that's my schedule.

474

Sorry.

475

That's going to get a defensive response.

476

One, because it's not a real apology.

477

It's you saying, well, okay, deal with it.

478

It's like a sorry of like, yeah, I'm sorry.

479

Well, deal with it.

480

It's not an actual apology.

481

And you're going, okay, well, that's my schedule.

482

Okay, well, that's what I got.

483

So good luck.

484

That's going to come back.

485

And to me, no wonder they came back a little bit at you a little bit.

486

No wonder they growled.

487

You always have an excuse not to meet up.

488

I don't know why we're not even friends.

489

So while I'll say props to you for using that, did you mean for that statement to hurt me?

490

I think we could have avoided this situation altogether had your first text not been, okay, well, that's my schedule.

491

Sorry.

492

If you had voiced the feeling of, oh man, you have planned Saturday.

493

That's the only day I can meet, man.

494

This is going to, that's crushing.

495

That's heartbreaking.

496

That totally bums me out.

497

That way you could have at least been able to share in

498

that mutual feeling rather than making them feel as though they're at a wit's end

499

and feeling like they're the only ones that's rowing the friendship boat.

הורד אפליקציה

כל מה שאתה צריך כדי לדבר בשטף

הגיית AIציון לכל משפט

תרגול IPAשלוט בכל צליל

אוצר מיליםבנה את מאגר המילים שלך

משחק אוצר מיליםלמד תוך כדי משחק

סרוק QR

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

אותו ערוץ

FOR YOU

המלץ על סרטון

30 משפטים

Finally Sending a Text She Put Off for 15 Years

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

31 משפטים

Downsizing: Talking Dad into Selling the Family Home

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

22 משפטים

its time to have a conversation with them

Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults

103 משפטים

Jensen Ackles vs. Technology😂

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

40 משפטים

Hey Mom

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

268 משפטים

Asking 80 Year Old Canadians About Their Biggest Regrets in Life

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

120 משפטים

People Read Their Last Breakup Texts

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

25 משפטים

A Dad's Pain🥺

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

228 משפטים

Ashley Stahl | How To Figure Out What You Really Want | Keynote Speaker | SpeakInc

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

27 משפטים

More Than a Pizza Shop, A Slice of Family History | Story of the Week

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

25 משפטים

What divorce taught me

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

689 משפטים

She Called Me a SCAMMER, But What Happened Next Left Her in TEARS

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This speaking lesson is built on the video “What to Say When Texts Go Badly”. This video has 499 sentences and 5334 words to shadow. The speech runs for 32:28. The speaker talks at a natural 164 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 87% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.

Key vocabulary in this video

15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
frustration noun	/fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/	The feeling of annoyance at impossibility from resistance or inability to achieve something.
anger noun	/ˈæŋɡə/	A strong and unpleasant feeling of displeasure, hostility, or antagonism, usually combined with an urge to yell, curse, damage or destroy things, or harm…
communicate verb	/kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/	To impart or transmit (information or knowledge) to someone; to make known, to tell.
repair verb	/ˈɹiːpɛɚ/	To restore to good working order, fix, or improve damaged condition; to mend; to remedy.
sadness noun	/ˈsædnəs/	The state or emotion of being sad.
alarm noun	/əˈlɑɹm/	A summons to arms, as on the approach of an enemy.
compound noun	/ˈkɑmpaʊnd/	Anything made by combining several things.
disagree verb	/dɪsəˈɡɹi/	To fail to agree; to have a different opinion or belief.
doll noun	/dɑl/	A small figure resembling a human being that is used as a toy.
apology noun	/əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/	An expression of remorse or regret for having said or done something that harmed another: an instance of apologizing (saying that one is sorry).
inbox noun	/ˈɪnbɑks/	A container in which papers to be dealt with are put.
encourage verb	/ɪnˈkʌɹ.ɪd͡ʒ/	To mentally support; to motivate, give courage, hope or spirit.
friendship noun	/ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/	The condition of being friends.
remind verb	/ɹəˈmaɪnd/	To cause one to experience a memory (of someone or something); to bring to the notice or consideration (of a person).
aggressive adjective	/əˈɡɹɛs.ɪv/	Characterized by aggression; highly combative; prone to behave in a way that involves attacking (especially if unjustly) or arguing.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Meaning
go back verb	To return to a place or state after having been there at a previous time.
bring up verb	To mention.
come back verb	To return to a place.
grow up verb	To mature and become an adult.
put up with verb	To endure, tolerate, suffer through, or allow, especially something annoying.
fall off verb	To become detached or to drop from.
fall through verb	To be unsuccessful, come to nothing; to be cancelled; not to proceed.
get up to verb	To do something, especially something that is forbidden or improper.

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

Is there something that I'm missing?
What, I don't know, what more do you want?
Why can't you just be compliant?
Why can't you just be a nice person?
Why can't you make me comfortable?

דקדוק בסרטון הזה

המבנים שהדובר משתמש בהם הכי הרבה, עם המילים המדויקות מהסרטון:

מבנה	בסרטון
משפטי תנאי (Conditional sentences) if + clause, will/would + verb — תנאי ותוצאה שלו	if you had, would you
הווה מושלם (Present perfect) have/has + past participle — פעולה שקרתה בעבר ועדיין יש לה חשיבות או השפעה עכשיו	have left · have wanted · I've been
סביל (Passive voice) be + past participle — הדגש הוא על מה שקורה, לא על מי שעושה את הפעולה	being critiqued · being micromanaged · being read
משפטי זיקה (Relative clauses) who / which + clause — מידע נוסף על אדם או דבר	people who are · kids who wish · person who sent

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 199 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, don't, you're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “th” sounds: breathe /bɹiːð/, altogether /ɔl.tuˈɡɛð.ɚ/, thumb /ˈθʌm/, empathy /ˈɛmpəθi/, unhealthy /ʌnˈhɛl.θi/
The “sh” and “zh” sounds: frustration /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, sharp /ʃɑɹp/, suggestion /səˈd͡ʒɛst.ʃən/
Long words — get the stress right: communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, apology /əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/, superior /sʊˈpɪɹ.i.ɚ/, unnecessary /ʌnˈnɛs.əˌsɛɹ.i/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like frustration, anger, communicate.

מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?

שאדואינג היא טכניקת למידת שפה מבוססת מדע שפותחה במקור להכשרת מתורגמנים מקצועיים ופופולרית על ידי הפוליגלוט ד"ר אלכסנדר ארגואלס. השיטה פשוטה אך עוצמתית: אתה מקשיב לאודיו באנגלית ילידית וחוזר עליו בקול רם מיד — כמו צל העוקב אחרי הדובר עם עיכוב של 1–2 שניות בלבד. בניגוד להאזנה פסיבית או תרגילי דקדוק, שאדואינג מכריח את המוח והשרירים בפה לעבד ולשחזר דפוסי דיבור אמיתיים בו זמנית. מחקרים מראים שזה משפר משמעותית את דיוק ההגייה, האינטונציה, הקצב, הדיבור המחובר, הבנת השמיעה ושטף הדיבור — מה שהופך אותו לאחת השיטות היעילות ביותר להכנה לIELTS Speaking ולתקשורת באנגלית בעולם האמיתי.

טכניקת Shadowing: קרא את המדריך המלא שלב אחר שלב →

Shadowing Practice: What to Say When Texts Go Badly - Learn English Speaking with Video

בחר מצב תרגול

הורד אפליקציה

Use This Phrase on The Silent Treatment

Hard conversations are NOT about you...

How good leaders communicate

You’re Not Responsible for Their Emotions

Erin McGoff: How to be Instantly More Confident at Work

Never Struggle with Small Talk Again | Easy Tips for Better Conversations

Finance Expert: How You Talk About Money Matters Ft. Vivian Tu

You’re Losing Respect Every Time You Say This

THIS is How To Be Direct Without Hurting People | Jefferson Fisher

Robert Greene: Why Nice People Lose Power & How To Fix It

How to Be Direct Without Sounding Rude

How Strong Communicators Handle Difficult Talks

3 Communication Truths That Will Change Every Conversation

what to say instead of staying silent

Be more direct.

Finally Sending a Text She Put Off for 15 Years

Downsizing: Talking Dad into Selling the Family Home

its time to have a conversation with them

Jensen Ackles vs. Technology😂

Hey Mom

Asking 80 Year Old Canadians About Their Biggest Regrets in Life

People Read Their Last Breakup Texts

A Dad's Pain🥺

Ashley Stahl | How To Figure Out What You Really Want | Keynote Speaker | SpeakInc

More Than a Pizza Shop, A Slice of Family History | Story of the Week

What divorce taught me

She Called Me a SCAMMER, But What Happened Next Left Her in TEARS

Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

Key vocabulary in this video

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Sentences worth repeating

דקדוק בסרטון הזה

Pronunciation to watch

How to practise with this video

מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?