शैडोइंग अभ्यास: Most People Get Confidence Completely Wrong... - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें
पाठ बनाया जा रहा है...
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You know, one of the exercises that I do in my masterclasses
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and sessions is that I let people present and look at themselves in a video format.
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Nine out of 10 people do not want to watch that video.
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And this is them just speaking.
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You know, it's something that we do every day.
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And you don't want to watch yourself as you're doing that.
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I think it's so hard.
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It takes bravery and guts to take a hard look in the mirror or even a look.
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It doesn't even need to be hard.
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Just look at yourself.
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Quick glance.
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Yeah, like what's going on?
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Do I feel good in my own body?
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Am I safe?
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Does this feel right?
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And then go, no. What am I going to do about that?
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No. And this is where friends and accountability partners are amazing because they will tell you.
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They love you so much.
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They'll tell you as it is.
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So you do share how public speaking is a way to meet your insecurities.
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And I think that, you know, a lot of people look at public speaking and go, it's not for me.
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I never want to do it.
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I never want to be on stage.
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But from what you've just shared, and I know this from the first time I edited my own podcast, and I was like, oh, my God, I can't listen to my own voice.
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And so many people have that experience.
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Like when I have them on the show, if it's like friends or family, and then we watch it together, they just like panic and shrivel up inside.
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So talk to me about how somebody listening who's got no interest in doing public speaking.
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I'm doing that in quote unquote marks for everyone not watching video.
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Because everyone does speak publicly.
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Right, okay, that's a whole other segue.
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But in terms of like how we traditionally look at public speaking, being on stage, talk to me about some more of the exercises you do
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and how that can actually help someone in daily life, not just to get up and practice for a TED Talk.
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Oh, there's so many things I want to say, and I'm excited about this question.
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All right, so at the end of the day, we can all improve by reading a book or watching a YouTube
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or taking an online course when it comes to this space.
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But the reason people come to me is because I'm noticing what is said and not said.
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And then I'm helping you also look at yourself and explore who you are.
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One of the things that I tend to do is we start off with an elevator pitch.
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You know, a lot of people have a hard time telling the world what they do and who they are.
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It's from a professional stance.
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And quite often it sounds like my name is so-and-so.
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This is my title and this is where I work at.
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This is often my best case scenario.
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And quite often it's not full name.
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It's not saying the title fully.
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And what I like to do is go, well, give me a bit more to work with here.
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Maybe brag a little bit so I know that you're an expert in your field.
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That question, oh, it can take us hours to unpack.
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And so once we've constructed that and it does justice to the person's expertise in front of me, and now anybody that hears this elevator pitch knows who they are
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and what they can offer and do justice to their experience, then I record them and I ask them to stand up, present, and now you're going to watch yourself.
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Oh, so much happens in this moment where I don't feel comfortable bragging about myself.
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You're not bragging.
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You're just telling us what you do.
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You're helping me.
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So if I need your services or your expertise, I know who to reach out to.
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Give you an example of something that happened uh yesterday i had a master class
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and uh one of the people in this session had this
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theatrical approach and it was almost a defense mechanism let me go up
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and pretend that i'm somebody else and i'm this super happy person
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and actually it worked it was fine it's enjoyable to listen to
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but i went whoa time out let's let's do this differently let's try something else So this has worked her whole career.
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So this is why I'm saying it's fine, but let's try something else.
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And there's something else.
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I went, forget that everybody else is here in the room.
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Just talk to me and take a breath.
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Nobody's watching.
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Just tell me what you do.
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And she started answering.
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Ah, OK.
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And how can you help me?
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What is the expertise that you have?
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Where have you been before?
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And we had that one-on-one conversation.
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By the time she was done, I started sobbing.
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happen it's just like i was just being myself
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and i felt like i could be heard
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so this is what it means when you meet your insecurities
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and allow yourself and your own voice be heard your authentic self to be heard
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and there is a transition through it this is why we
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tend to be first a bit mechanical i do the mechanical stuff in the beginning this is how you present
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and these These are the structures.
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All right.
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And then we move into, well, why don't you make it your own now?
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Play with it.
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All right.
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So you said I should sound like this, but how about if I sound like this or that or whatever that might be?
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Yeah.
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So we start experimenting until that person lands in whatever is their authentic,
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you know, body language or voice or vocal projection or linguistics words that they will use.
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But that does go through that process.
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there may be a lot of people listening who have not even considered what is my voice.
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Like what does, even now that I'm thinking about it, like, okay, it's the physical thing, like it's my voice, but what does that mean in terms of how I portray myself to the world?
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And how do people go about locating what that even is for them?
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I used to be an absolute mute as a child, and now I'm hosting some of the biggest events and TV shows in the country.
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I wouldn't believe that for a second right and my mom
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and grandma still to this day are like are you the
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same person like they just cannot it doesn't click for them
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but that really resonated with me and
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so what I did was I sat down and I was like okay
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so how did you get from A to Z how did you do it
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and I realized what I have taught myself I could framework
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and I could help people to actually learn that framework and do it in less time than I can.
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It was identifying what was truly me.
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And I created something called the voice layer theory after doing all of my kind of like looking back and,
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you know, how can I build this and how can I teach this to other people?
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And the easiest way to describe it is that when you're, when you're born in your most, you know, developing early years,
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the biggest influence on your voice from the get go, your parents, right?
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Your mom or your dad, or your guardians, whoever is raising you.
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And on top of that, then say you've got your voice here, you've got the parents on top.
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Then on top of that, we go to school, we've got teachers, we've got other students.
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On top of that, we're consuming media, TV, radio.
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On top of that, now in a world of social media, where millions of voices are influencing us, telling us what we should feel, what we should think, what our opinions should be on certain things.
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And what I realized is we're there at the bottom.
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We're the foundation, but the, all these layers are building up on top of us.
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And what's happening is our own voice is getting diluted.
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So I don't know about you, but like in any situation, even with my partner, I say something and I'm like, that wasn't me.
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That was my mom.
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Yeah.
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Oh yeah.
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That's a big one.
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He's actually been good calling me out being like, yeah, that was your mom.
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Yeah.
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And I'm so glad he does because we, sometimes we do need that you know when I'm
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when I'm with a friend and she's like what do you want to have for dinner
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and I'm like oh sushi and she's like oh yes let's go for sushi and I'm like
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Nimi did you want sushi or do you just know
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that she loves sushi
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so you're going for sushi you're like damn should have picked
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the ramen right obsessed with ramen by the way obsessed um
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so it was all of these things have we got
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so many people influencing our voice and what we don't do
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and what we've never been taught from a young age is that our voice is its own nucleus.
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We kind of just think it's a default and a given, but your voice is your greatest asset.
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It is one of the core things that help you to communicate who you are to the world.
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How can we haven't done the groundwork in identifying what that voice is?
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So there's a way to kind of identify that and break all those layers down.
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And it takes a lot of time.
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I'd love to sit here and say, okay okay i can you can do it right now yeah yeah
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but it took me a lot of time
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and what i did was first was isolate my voice so
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that was taking myself away for like a week or so
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when i say taking myself away i wish it was going
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to like some private island no it was just not consuming social media detox it was exactly
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that detox and then also just not talking to a lot of people for a week
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which is amazing by the way
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and we all need to do it we need to just sit with ourselves for a
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while and I started questioning everything question everything if I
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if you walk away with anything if you're listening right now
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and you walk away with anything today is just question every decision you make every thought you have every opinion
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and feeling you have why do I feel
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that way how come how come that's what you chose I started even questioning like the tiniest things
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from what do I want to have for dinner?
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Okay, why are you choosing that?
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Why, Nimi?
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And it can get really tedious, but the point is that that's the only way to break through because then you start realizing
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why you start making these choices.
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Is it you or is it someone else highly influencing it?
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What's the source?
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What's the source?
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And I got to the point where I was like, journalism.
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I started questioning my whole career and my purpose.
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And I was like, did I do it
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because my mom wanted me to do it or did I want to do it?
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And you have a bit of an identity crisis through it all.
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But that just means it's working.
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It's really working.
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So I isolated my voice completely.
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And then what I started doing was evaluating the voices around me.
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So the five closest people to me.
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You know, they say you are the average of the five closest people to you.
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Okay, who are they then?
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Let's actually identify them.
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And let's actually recognize if they're a positive influence on my voice.
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If they are guiding my voice, enhancing my voice.
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Are they helping it in any way? or are they dimming my voice
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and so that's what made me really identify the people
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and then for me it was just elimination you know and
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and i had to be pretty cutthroat
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because i'm like this is this is me this is my
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nucleus i have to protect my voice at all costs be walk into a room as as the person
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that you want to be they call that be it until you are it yeah and i feel like
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like your aura says so much about you as a person so even if you're not feeling confident
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walk into places confidently do like be the person
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that you truly want to be and you will become
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that person and i'm not saying just like manifesting things works you got to do the really hard work
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and work smart as well yeah
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but yeah you really have to like i was like i'm going to be the person that I want to be.
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And I eventually became that person.
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Like I started from nothing.
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I didn't have any help from anyone.
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It was just me and my husband, Ross.
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So I've never been given anything.
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I've had to probably work twice as hard as people out
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there who you know just walked into a modeling agency and they've had somebody who who knows how things work.
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And there's only so much that my husband and I knew.
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We actually had to really work hard to be like okay like how can we do this?
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How can we do that?
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Like I think I ended up sending a high heel into an office once and being like just one shoe,
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one high heel being like hi just wanted to get my foot in the door and this is like 2000 2009 10.
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that's great just wanted to get my foot in the door love to have a chat with you
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ended up getting a call from this person
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and they're like i was actually really blown away by the way you approached
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that i'd love to have you in to have a chat that's really cool
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so doing those things was so important in that time and we still do weird stuff like that too
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so anybody out there is watching you got weird stuff from us
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that got us a meeting with that person you know like
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but um yeah I think we just had to do things
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so differently and I was always like okay I'm just going to walk into the walk into every room
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and actually somebody said to me once I was like what's the dress code for tonight
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and she goes well what does a supermodel wear what does
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a supermodel wear to a to a party like how does a supermodel dress and I was like
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good point so every time I don't care
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if I'm overdressed somewhere I could not give a shit truly
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but you are the main character in your story so be
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that main character don't be the best friend don't be the
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co-star don't give us co-star energy like we want we want
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to be the main character in our story you know yeah
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there was this one thing this guy said to me he was a talent agent who was really dodgy
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and he was really all like a really awful person he
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said to me he was like you will never be anywhere
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you will be nothing you are nothing you'll never be successful
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and then when I booked Guess
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and um the Super Bowl commercial I was just like I
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actually genuinely really want to send him like a link to
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the ad like I wanted to send him the catalog for Guess yeah
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because and just say thank you for not believing in me
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because it made me believe in myself even more
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and those things like really and i don't forget those things like
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when someone is cruel to you like you got to turn
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it into something good you know 100 flip it on its head yeah use it thank you to
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that angry man who like completely you know lit your jet on fire i had
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so many experiences like that over the years where people told me i'd be nothing
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and i was like cool okay i'll show you yeah awesome let's go that's i love a challenge
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and i think a lot of people struggle with
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that confidence of how to put themselves forward
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because maybe they don't have the confidence or they feel like they're being really egotistical.
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Yeah.
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And I think this is important, especially when it comes to, let's say, an interview, right?
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You're going forward for a new opportunity.
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That's most likely, if you're going for something different, it's most likely a step up or something outside of your comfort zone.
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Yeah.
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Otherwise, why would you be moving?
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Absolutely, yeah.
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So this is something both you and I have done over the last few years.
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interviews looking for new roles how do you kind of approach
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this do you know what as I've gotten older I've seen it from a different perspective I think
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when I was younger it was always this nerve-wracking it still is nerve-wracking
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but then it was very much they are assessing me I need this more than they do
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and like they're doing you a favor right exactly exactly
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and I had an interesting conversation with an interviewer once who told me
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and this is what changed it for me this is kind of
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the turning moment that really made me see it from a different point of view was
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actually I want you to be just as comfortable as we are
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so you're assessing us
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because ultimately we want you to stay here long term we
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don't want you to be here for you know just a minute
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and you know leave in a year and that's
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when I really sat back and I thought wow like
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so interesting and I think we forget that it's
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so easy for us to forget because there's
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so many demands in our life right we've got financial goals we've got personal goals we've got professional goals you know
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all of these different things make us feel like
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if it's not this my life is over
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and like it's you know everything everything and i do i do believe
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that if a door closes another one opens and so
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if it doesn't work out it honestly wasn't meant to be
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and that's okay yeah and i think it's having
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that acceptance in believing
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that okay do you know i this role is for me i'm the right fit for this
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and it's all about that mindset and understanding
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that actually you're not they're not just assessing you you are equally assessing them I love
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that you started off with the mindset tip because I've been there
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so many times where you go into an interview
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and you're like am I the right person for this for
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them right like I'm just one of many they're interviewing
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but you could equally say well they're one of many companies
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that I'm interviewing and I'm actually assessing if this is right for me
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and being a little bit more confident in what you want
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and I think
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that comes with actually knowing what it is you want I've been in a lot of situations where I've had performance reviews, you know, up to the yearly mark, it goes incredibly.
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They're so happy.
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Everything's great.
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Not a single mention of pay rise is brought up, right?
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Yeah, I've been there.
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And you're waiting, and you're waiting.
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And it doesn't come up.
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And then it's the end of the meeting.
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So how would you go about bringing up the conversation of pay?
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And then we can navigate, negotiate, negotiating after that.
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So, you know, you've got to be confident enough to raise it yourself.
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That's the truth.
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Ultimately, the employer may not want to discuss it.
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They may not even have it in mind.
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And I think it's also okay to say, you know, on my next performance review, I'd like to discuss the potential of looking at my salary and increasing it.
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And I think when you say it, you make eye contact.
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You say it with confidence.
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And you don't make you maintain that eye contact because you believe it.
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You've got to believe it.
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Practice it in the mirror.
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Absolutely.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Practice it in the mirror.
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Say it to yourself.
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And, you know, it is a really nerve wracking thing to do because there's so many other employees.
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Why are you worthy of this particular pay rise?
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What sets you apart from everybody else who's working just as hard as you are, perhaps if not more?
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You know, you don't know what everybody's working on in terms of projects.
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You've got to believe in it.
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You've got to know and set your value you and
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if you think
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that you are worth more then you must ask for it
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that's the truth as soon as i turned 18 i invested in implants
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and i was so happy with them
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because i was like yay i finally feel sexy i finally finally feel confident um
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and i really threw myself into like modeling
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so this was like back in the day when like men's magazines were like a thing well there was like magazines
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um so I was doing lots of work for you know zoo
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and Ralph and FHM and that kind of stuff and really
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I feel like I felt
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that the more external validation I got from others the more confident it made me feel um
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but I guess there was always a part that just I didn't quite feel whole so
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you know I constantly felt like I was chasing and chasing
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and chasing and that kind of showed up in
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so many different ways like with choosing the wrong people in relationships
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or the wrong type of men um friendships social circles just things just never quite felt aligned for me
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and now I really understand why um but it wasn't until I gave birth to my beautiful daughter
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that like gave birth to my daughter right in the middle of COVID.
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So not only was it was like, oh my gosh, you're a mum now, your whole life has turned upside down.
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It was like, you now have to just sit inside and like deal with it and not have any social interaction.
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You've completely cut that external validation.
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Totally.
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Yeah.
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And I was going through a huge thing.
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So I think there was just
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years and years and years of different types of trauma
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and interesting things that have popped up over time that it had been so easy for me to distract myself from.
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And then, you know, having such a huge life transition with becoming a mum, doing it also through COVID,
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I was also a new wife too.
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Like in those few years, I just found myself really coming face to face with some
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really uncomfortable truths about myself that I had never really sat with myself and
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looked at my shadows and looked at my ways of thinking
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and looked at these cycles that were playing out in my life.
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And with that, you know, everything kind of got thrown upside down.
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I left my marriage, I had to kind of do a full 360 of my life
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and really start doing some deep internal work.
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And what I realized was
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that I have been using everything else as a crutch in order to not kind of face my inner demons
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or my shadows.
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So I, when I came out of my marriage,
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I really just wanted to devote a lot of time to myself and to my healing.
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I didn't want to distract myself from it anymore.
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I was really excited just to sit with myself
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and just to pour this love and attention that I so easily was pouring out to others into myself.
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and I was really excited because I, you know, was able to just not date, be celibate and pour all my love into me for one whole year
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and that was like a huge milestone for me and now I'm like on nearly two and a half years.
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Wow.
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Yeah and I, it has been the most incredible,
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incredible journey for me like I feel more like myself now
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than I ever have in my whole entire life I'm really I'm really certain
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and I'm really um I'm really grounded and I really know who I am
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which is really beautiful
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because I think my whole life I was trying to figure
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out who I was through different people through different experiences through different you know crutches
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but at the end of the day what I really needed to do was like ignore all of
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that and come back to me And it hasn't been a pretty journey, but it has 100% been worth it.
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इस वीडियो में शैडोइंग के लिए 365 वाक्य और 4222 शब्द हैं। बोला गया हिस्सा 21:40 लंबा है। वक्ता तेज़ बोलता है, लगभग 195 शब्द प्रति मिनट, इसलिए जुड़ी हुई और कमज़ोर ध्वनियाँ ज़्यादा मिलेंगी। 87% शब्द अंग्रेज़ी के 3,000 सबसे आम शब्दों में से हैं, इसलिए शब्दावली आसान है।
इस वीडियो की मुख्य शब्दावली
वीडियो के 15 कम प्रचलित शब्द, उच्चारण और अर्थ के साथ:
- assess /əˈsɛs/ (क्रिया) — मूल्यांकन करना. To determine, estimate or judge the value of; to evaluate; to estimate.
- sushi /ˈsuːʃi/ (संज्ञा) — सुशी, सूशी. A Japanese dish made of small portions of sticky white rice flavored with vinegar, usually wrapped in seaweed and filled or topped with fish, vegetables or…
- mirror /ˈmiɹɚ/ (संज्ञा) — दर्पण, शीशा. A smooth surface, usually made of glass with reflective material painted on the underside, that reflects light so as to give an image of what is in front of it.
- chase /t͡ʃeɪs/ (क्रिया) — पीछा करना. To follow at speed.
- layer /ˈleɪ̯ɚ/ (संज्ञा) — परत, तह. A single thickness of some material covering a surface.
- nerve /nɝv/ (संज्ञा) — नस, तंत्रिका. A bundle of neurons with their connective tissue sheaths, blood vessels and lymphatics.
- pour /poɹ/ (क्रिया) — बहना. To cause (liquid, or liquid-like substance) to flow in a stream, either out of a container or into it.
- shadow /ˈʃædəʊ̯/ (संज्ञा) — परछाई, छाया. A dark image projected onto a surface where light (or other radiation) is blocked by the shade of an object.
- pitch /pɪt͡ʃ/ (संज्ञा) — मैदान. A throw; a toss; a cast, as of something from the hand.
- authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/ (विशेषण) — आधिकारिक, प्राधिकृत. Of the same origin as claimed; genuine.
- consume /kənˈsum/ (क्रिया) — उपभुक्त. To use up.
- mindset /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ (संज्ञा) — मानसिकता. A way of thinking; an attitude or opinion, especially a habitual one.
- heel /hil/ (संज्ञा) — एड़ी, एड़. The rear part of the foot, where it joins the leg.
- nucleus /ˈnuː.kli.əs/ (संज्ञा) — केंद्र, केंद्रीय. The core, central part of something, around which other elements are assembled.
- insecurity (संज्ञा) — असुरक्षा. A lack of security; uncertainty.
वीडियो में आने वाली फ़्रेज़ल वर्ब
- look at (क्रिया) — हेरना. To observe or watch.
- get up (क्रिया) — उठना. To move in an upward direction; to ascend or climb.
ध्यान देने योग्य उच्चारण
वक्ता 119 बार संक्षिप्त रूपों का प्रयोग करता है, जैसे I'm, you're, don't। इन्हें वैसे ही छोटा बोलें जैसा आप सुनते हैं।
- “th” की ध्वनियाँ: authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, worthy /ˈwɝ.ði/, theatrical /θiˈætɹɪkəl/, cutthroat /ˈkʌtθɹəʊt/
- “sh” और “zh” की ध्वनियाँ: sushi /ˈsuːʃi/, transition /tɹænˈzɪʃ.ən/, shadow /ˈʃædəʊ̯/, negotiate /nəˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪt/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/
- लंबे शब्द — बलाघात सही रखें: mechanical /məˈkænəkəl/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, negotiate /nəˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪt/, elevator /ˈɛləˌveɪtɚ/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/
इस वीडियो से अभ्यास कैसे करें
- पहले बिना बोले पूरा वीडियो एक बार सुनें और जो शब्द नहीं आते उन्हें लिख लें।
- 0.75× गति से शुरू करें, एक-एक वाक्य की शैडोइंग करें, और सहज लगने पर सामान्य गति पर लौटें।
- अपनी आवाज़ रिकॉर्ड करें और मूल से तुलना करें, ख़ासकर assess, sushi, mirror जैसे शब्दों पर ध्यान दें।
इस वीडियो का व्याकरण
वक्ता जिन संरचनाओं का सबसे अधिक प्रयोग करता है, वीडियो के असली शब्दों के साथ:
| संरचना | वीडियो में |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — बीता हुआ काम जिसका असर अभी भी है | you've just shared · we've constructed · has worked |
| Passive voice be + past participle — ज़ोर इस पर कि क्या होता है, न कि कौन करता है | is said · was done · could be heard |
| Relative clauses who / which + उपवाक्य — व्यक्ति या वस्तु के बारे में अतिरिक्त जानकारी | somebody who who · man who like |
शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?
शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।