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In his international best-selling book, The Art of Seduction, Robert Greene wrote, your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away,
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to make others come after you, delaying their satisfaction.
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Do you think playing hard to get works best, or do you prefer to be direct?
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It can be difficult to figure out the best way to attract your crush.
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By the end of this video, you'll learn tips backed by scientific research that will teach you how to step up your game and keep them interested.
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Here's how to attract your crush and leave them wanting more.
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To smile or not to smile.
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When you're flirting with your crush, you should smile to come across as approachable and show them that you're interested.
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Or should you?
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Research shows that it might not be that simple.
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Smiling can be perceived as either attractive or unattractive, and this depends on your gender.
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But there's one expression that seems to be universally attractive, regardless of gender, and it's probably not what you think.
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In a 2011 study published in the journal Emotion, women were perceived as most attractive when they were smiling and looked happy.
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For men, the results were the complete opposite.
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Smiling was their least attractive facial expression.
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So if you're a man, the cool and mysterious persona may be more seductive to your crush.
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But there was one facial expression that was perceived as relatively attractive regardless of gender.
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Shame.
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When someone had their head and eyes tilted downwards and narrowed their posture, expressing shame, they were rated as attractive whether they were male or female.
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When you're with your crush, see how they react when you innocently look down or avert your gaze every once in a while.
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just might help attract them to you.
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The right approach.
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Imagine your crush is sitting at an empty table at school.
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Now is your chance to make a move.
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When you go up to your crush to talk to them, should you approach them from the front and sit across from them or sit beside them?
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Turns out, like a lot of other attraction strategies, the answer depends on your crush's gender.
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In a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, participants were approached by a researcher who sat either beside them or directly in front of them.
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Results showed that male participants had a more negative reaction when a female researcher approached them from the front.
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On the other hand, females didn't like being approached from the side by a male researcher.
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According to these findings, if you're trying to attract a man, the best way to approach them is to sit beside them rather than across from them.
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But if your crush is a woman, go with the head-on strategy and sit in front of them.
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It's such a subtle move, they won't even know you're doing it.
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Got jokes?
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Does your crush have a good sense of humor?
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More importantly, do you?
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Philosopher William James once said, common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds.
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A sense of humor is just common sense dancing.
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However, researcher Eric Bressler at McMaster University found that men and women define humor differently.
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Knowing this can help you step up your seduction game.
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Bressler found that women defined someone with a good sense of humor as someone who could make them laugh.
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And they preferred men who have a good sense of humor 62% of the time.
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Conversely, men thought someone had a good sense of humor when they appreciated their own humor, AKA laughed at their jokes.
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They preferred women who laughed at their jokes 65% of the time.
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The takeaway, if your crush is a man, you can pique their interest by laughing at their jokes just a little more.
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And if your crush is a woman, you can attract them by making them laugh rather than laughing at their jokes.
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The magic touch.
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Combining physical touch with the other tips we've mentioned will make you even more attractive to your crush.
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Key is to keep it subtle.
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A 2007 study published in the journal Social Influence had male researchers either ask women for their numbers
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or ask them to dance.
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In both cases, they found that if they touched a woman's forearm for just one or two seconds before asking her, she was more likely to say yes.
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Light touches on the arm are an innocent and simple way to attract your crush.
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Of course, this technique depends on your relationship with them, their boundaries, and your cultural norms.
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But if you and your crush are comfortable with it, giving them a soft touch on the arm every once in a while might be the perfect way to arouse their interest.
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Thanks for watching, Psych2Goers.
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We hope you found this video helpful.
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Remember, these tips shouldn't be used to manipulate your crush.
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At the end of the day, the best way to attract someone if you want a genuine relationship with them is to be yourself.
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Will you be trying any of these tips?
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Do you have any of your own attraction tips to offer that have worked for you in the past?
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Share your ideas in the comments below.
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Keep in mind that because scientific research has focused primarily on straight men and women, some of the studies in this video don't reflect everyone's experience.
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If you have a perspective to share that hasn't been mentioned, we'd love to hear from you and start an open and inclusive conversation.
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Please share your thoughts in the comments.
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Thanks for watching and see you in the next one.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione di livello B2 si basa sul video “How To Subtly Attract Your Crush”. Le parole che ritornano più spesso: crush, humor, sense, attract, attractive. Questo video contiene 65 frasi e 950 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 4:50. Chi parla va veloce, circa 196 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 83% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
Le 15 parole più avanzate del video, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| crush verbo | /kɹʌʃ/ | schiacciare, pigiare |
| humour sostantivo | /ˈhjuːmɚ/ | humour, umorismo |
| researcher sostantivo | /ˈɹiˌsɝ.t͡ʃɚ/ | ricercatore, ricercatrice |
| perceive verbo | /pɚˈsiv/ | percepire |
| depend verbo | /dɪˈpɛnd/ | dipendere |
| participant sostantivo | /pɑːɹˈtɪsəpənt/ | partecipante, che partecipa |
| facial aggettivo | /ˈfeɪ.ʃəl/ | facciale |
| attraction sostantivo | /əˈtɹækʃn̩/ | attrazione, attrattiva |
| arouse verbo | /əˈɹaʊz/ | eccitare, provocare |
| forearm sostantivo | /ˈfɔːˌɹɑːm/ | avambraccio |
| innocently avverbio | /ˈɪnəsəntli/ | innocentemente |
| takeaway sostantivo | /ˈteɪkəweɪ/ | da asporto, da portare via |
| unattractive aggettivo | sconveniente | |
| conversely avverbio | /kənˈvɝsli/ | per converso, al contrario |
| universally avverbio | /ˌjunɪˈvɝsəli/ | universalmente |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| come across verbo | dare l'impressione, avere l'aria |
| figure out verbo | scoprire, rendersi conto |
| turn out verbo | risultare |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- Does your crush have a good sense of humor?
- More importantly, do you?
- Will you be trying any of these tips?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | can be perceived · were perceived · was perceived |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | we've mentioned · have worked · has focused |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | someone who could · men who have · women who laughed |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 14 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come you're, didn't, don't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: crush /kɹʌʃ/, seduction /sɪˈdʌk.ʃn̩/, facial /ˈfeɪ.ʃəl/, attraction /əˈtɹækʃn̩/, satisfaction /sætɪsˈfækʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: participant /pɑːɹˈtɪsəpənt/, approachable /əˈpɹəʊ.t͡ʃə.bəl/, innocently /ˈɪnəsəntli/, universally /ˌjunɪˈvɝsəli/, manipulate /məˈnɪp.jʊ.leɪt/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: crush /kɹʌʃ/, perceive /pɚˈsiv/, beside /bɪˈsaɪd/, depend /dɪˈpɛnd/, participant /pɑːɹˈtɪsəpənt/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: attraction /əˈtɹækʃn̩/, satisfaction /sætɪsˈfækʃən/, react /ɹiːˈækt/, rat /ɹæt/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come crush, humour, researcher.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.