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How do men and women view cheating differently? So it's really interesting.
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We asked this question.
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I don't think it'd been asked before.
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We know that infidelity is something that
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Americans largely, across the political divide, across all these different demographic groups, they view as morally wrong.
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It's something like eight and 10 or nine and 10.
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And that's been consistent.
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We've changed our attitudes on a lot of different kinds of personal behavior.
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We've become more accepting on some, like homosexuality.
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But when it comes to infidelity, especially marital infidelity, Americans strongly oppose.
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There's an interesting wrinkle in this.
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And that we asked, in our survey, we split the sample.
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So we asked two independent groups.
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One, if a man commits adultery, and one is the woman commits adultery.
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And we had everyone rate whether it's morally wrong or morally acceptable.
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and we found that when it comes to men cheating, there wasn't much of a gender difference.
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That across the board, pretty much people said, like, yeah, when a man cheats, it's morally wrong.
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When it comes to women,
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women, especially younger women, were far less likely to take a kind of hardline approach and say it was morally wrong in, like, all circumstances.
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There was more like, well, it's either not a moral issue or morally acceptable.
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and you know i i hypothesize
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that well there's a couple of things might be happening it might be
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that you know men uh do commit uh adulterous acts more often um there are power dynamics uh potentially
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that they're thinking about um it could be just
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that ideologically there's a we know that that
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when it comes to things like a shared fate
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or linked fate this idea like what happens to other people impacts
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you is much higher among young women than it is among uh men or older women.
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So there's a number of things that might be going on here,
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but we know that it matters to women who's doing the cheating and what the circumstances are.
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When asked, is it morally wrong for a man or a woman to cheat?
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Yeah.
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Men were asked and it was basically the same.
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It's morally wrong for men.
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Men judge men the same way they judge women, but women judge women differently than men.
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Did women judge men more harshly than men judged men?
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No, it was actually pretty similar.
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Okay.
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So everybody, three quadrants of this four quadrant survey are all pretty much the same.
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Yeah.
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Men judge female cheating and male cheating the same.
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Yeah.
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And females judge male cheating the same.
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Yep.
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But females judge female cheating differently.
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Yeah.
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And it's mostly young women.
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So older women are, I think, pretty similar to others.
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So it's young women who really stand out on that measure.
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and you think
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that this is shared fate to a degree shared fate uh
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experiences with cheating women are simply more likely to have experience with being cheated on than men um
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so this is some righteous retribution
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so they're like yeah they may have heard stories like oh you know she she cheated
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but like you know this guy was a real jerk and
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so like it it could be informed through those kinds of experiences um this is we're all hypothesizing here
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because i don't i don't have did you uh oh
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i guess it was just a survey you didn't say
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i'll say why why have you got this oh that's quite an ugly stat yeah i suppose
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that there is this i mean what you do see this more
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so online like i i at least from again going anecdotally
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i don't see many guys coming out to excuse the behavior of a man cheating on his partner like
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if he's got a wife and this might just be the echo chambers
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that i'm in uh but i would say that there is a an implication of like, what did he do to deserve it?
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Yeah.
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As opposed to what did she do to deserve it?
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And that seems to be reflected in the survey data too.
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Yeah.
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And there's probably, I think there's like a mirrored conversation happening around the issue of like sexual assault where women will say like,
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well, every woman knows someone who's been sexually assaulted, but no man has a friend who sexually assaults women.
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Right.
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So you have this sense of like, okay, how can both these things be true?
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Um, well, it's quite, at least I, David Buss has got a pretty easy explanation for that,
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which is that it's not a thousand men doing one incident each.
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It's one man in a thousand doing a thousand incidents.
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That like there is tail risk.
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It's repeated offenders that are inside the group of men.
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I'm convinced of that argument when it comes to like the more serious offenses.
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But I think when it comes to sort of less pernicious sort of sexual harassment online, I think is not just one or two perpetrators.
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I think it's a much larger group, but I think that, yeah, I'd agree with his perhaps take on the more serious offenses.
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It's interesting, man.
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Like I remember seeing kind of the wild west of Twitter the first time around, not the second time around, which we're in again, I suppose.
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And some of the shit that guys would post in response to women was like call of duty lobby level stuff.
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And it's, there's just, there is a limit for what should be acceptable in like common public discourse.
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Just because you can say it doesn't mean that it's okay.
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And I get it.
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Like you can have trolling and all the rest.
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This is before trolling.
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This is before there was a meme setup that you could have been anti -memetically, like sardonically cool working against,
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you know, I'm not contravening this, this norm.
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No norms have been created, dude.
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It's fucking 2015 or something.
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Uh, so I, I get that.
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I, I didn't consider the potential for like online sexual harassment to creep in, in this sort of a way.
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And I imagine that, especially if you're a young woman growing up in a society that's got it's post me too.
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There's a lot of concern about safety around men and bears and woods and stuff.
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And then there's this thing that happens online.
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And then you see this thing and, you know, maybe your mother at your age would have blown it off or maybe she wouldn't have done,
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but now it's really going to hit at this thing, this, this fear, this very visceral fear that every woman has.
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And it's then been perhaps magnified or multiplied through, through modern social media and stuff like that's, that's going to be a gnarly, a gnarly situation.
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Yeah.
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And I think too, the, the extent to which this stuff can like follow you home, right?
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Like you feel like I'm in my home, in my apartment, this is my safe space.
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Wait a minute, I'm getting emails and instant messages
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in a place where I'm supposed to feel safe that are promising to like harm me.
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The other thing too, that I think it's not just about, you know, the harassment either.
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You know, we know that women are more likely to get asked for, to share news.
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So naked pictures of themselves, right?
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And so there's - Who wants to see guy nudes?
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That's my question.
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Not me.
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Yeah, no, me neither mark does but yeah that's it yeah uh
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and so the like there's ways in which that can be exploitative
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and and um uh you know harmful too
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but it's right it happens an awful lot and
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so like like where do you draw the line in some of this stuff i would say
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that boys shouldn't be asking for for nudes of their female classmates in general
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but there's not as strict norms against this stuff
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so what happens is the the girls and young men have to sort of erect those walls and and establish that
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Don't use the word erect when we're talking about it.
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Come on.
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Yeah.
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I mean, look, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't help but think about it as you were talking about that,
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the difference in supply versus demand of male nudes to female nudes.
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Yeah.
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That like just the straight up supply of unsolicited dick pics, very high.
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Like we don't need any more.
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You want to talk about living in an abundance society?
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We're post abundance with dick pics on the internet, especially if Conor McGregor's online.
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The psychology of that I've never understood.
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Just the unsolicited dick pic?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, very strange.
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You need to work on your dick pics.
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Then on the other side, the request, like, no, I don't know.
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Has any woman ever asked for an unsolicited dick pic?
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Maybe not.
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That might be a world first if a woman went to go and do it now.
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But then on the other side, the demand for female nudes, if I could polymarket this, it would be like, it would just,
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the lines would be at the opposite ends of the graph.
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Not sponsored by fucking polymarket, by the way.
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I feel like any time, this is how prevalent betting prediction market ads are, that if I ever refer to Calci or Polymarket,
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I want to do like a anti -ad read.
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Be like, this is not a partner of the show.
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But a quick note, lots of people tell us that YouTube unsubscribes them from the channel, even though they already pressed it.
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So just check down there and see if the subscribe button is pressed.
147
You get access to episodes before anybody else.
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If you do, it supports me and the show helps me to bring you bigger and better guests.
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And it makes me very happy.
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So just go and give it a tap for me.
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I thank you.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione si basa sul video “The Cheating Double Standard Nobody Talks About”. Questo video contiene 167 frasi e 1879 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 9:50. Chi parla va veloce, circa 191 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 82% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| cheat verbo | /ˈt͡ʃiːt/ | fregare, imbrogliare |
| nude aggettivo | /n(j)uːd/ | nudo |
| fate sostantivo | /feɪt/ | fato, sorte |
| assault sostantivo | /əˈsɔlt/ | assalto, attacco |
| commit verbo | /kəˈmɪt/ | affidare, impegnarsi |
| acceptable aggettivo | /əkˈsɛp.tə.bəl/ | accettabile |
| differently avverbio | /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/ | differentemente, diversamente |
| supplement sostantivo | /ˈsʌp.lɪ.mənt/ | integrazione, supplemento |
| harassment sostantivo | /həˈɹæsmənt/ | molestia, vessazione |
| norm sostantivo | /nɔːm/ | norma |
| guarantee sostantivo | /ˌɡæɹ.ənˈtiː/ | garanzia |
| wisdom sostantivo | /ˈwɪzdəm/ | saggezza, senno |
| sexually avverbio | /ˈsɛksjʊəli/ | sessualmente |
| oppose verbo | /əˈpoʊz/ | opporre |
| abundance sostantivo | /əˈbʌn.dn̩s/ | abbondanza, cuccagna |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| get up to verbo | commettere |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- I don't think it'd been asked before.
- We've become more accepting on some, like homosexuality.
- You want to talk about living in an abundance society?
- The psychology of that I've never understood.
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Frasi condizionali if + frase, will/would + verbo — una condizione e il suo risultato | if I could polymarket this, it would be · If you don't love it, they will give |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | been asked · were asked · is shared |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | that's been · We've changed · We've become |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | women who really · friend who sexually · back, which is |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 40 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come don't, I'm, can't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: establish /ɪˈstæb.lɪʃ/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, potentially /pəˈtɛnʃ(ə)li/, subscription /səbˈskɹɪpʃən/, prediction /pɹɪˈdɪkʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: acceptable /əkˈsɛp.tə.bəl/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, potentially /pəˈtɛnʃ(ə)li/, psychology /saɪˈkɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: harassment /həˈɹæsmənt/, harm /hɑːm/, harmful /ˈhɑɹmfl̩/, hypothesize /haɪˈpɑ.θəˌsaɪz/, firsthand /ˈfɜːstˌhænd/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: cheat /ˈt͡ʃiːt/, nude /n(j)uːd/, fate /feɪt/, assault /əˈsɔlt/, commit /kəˈmɪt/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: harassment /həˈɹæsmənt/, guarantee /ˌɡæɹ.ənˈtiː/, circumstance /ˈsɝ.kəmˌstæns/, establish /ɪˈstæb.lɪʃ/, dynamics /dɑɪˈnæm.ɪks/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come cheat, nude, fate.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.