Shadowing Practice: The Charms of Unavailable People - Learn English Speaking with Video
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It's an odd feature of love that some of our most romantic moments can include the following scenarios.
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Being with a lover who lives a whole continent away from us and can never move to be closer.
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An infatuation with a lover who is married to somebody else and has no will ever to leave them.
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A romance with someone dying of a disease that will kill them within a matter of months.
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A crush on someone at the library,
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who we never talk to yet think of obsessively,
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even when it turns out they have a partner.
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Or the last days of a holiday romance before we have to take a gruelling 12-hour flight back home.
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What unites all these situations is an external obstacle to love,
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which, paradoxically, serves to make our desire more intense.
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We might suppose that our love would be strong in spite of the challenges.
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But the situation is weirder than this.
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Our love is strong precisely because a proper relationship is not possible in the real world,
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because love is fated to be in some way unrequited or incomplete.
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People stuck in these unrequited situations can garner a lot of sympathy and seem like the natural friends of true love.
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But they tend to be no such things.
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They are timid visitors to the land of love,
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who have carefully chosen situations which will prevent them from ever taking up more permanent residence.
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They are self-saboteurs who would rather be in control of a sad situation than half out of control of a happy one.
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They have carefully made sure that there is no chance either to disappoint or to be disappointed.
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It is the external obstacle that gives them the security to surrender themselves totally
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to feelings that they would keep well at bay if,
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miraculously, the obstacle were to be removed.
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To feel a lot for someone who is available is an emotionally highly flammable requirement.
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The possibilities for getting hurt are enormous.
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We might learn to trust a lover over many years
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and then promptly find that they decided to leave us or died in the night.
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We couldn't survive.
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Our defences mask too gelatinous and insecure in an interior.
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We would have given them the keys to our self-confidence
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and direction and would struggle after so long to know how to carry on.
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Not all of us have the psychological histories
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that make us robust enough to dare to enter situations where mutual trust is a risk
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that we can dare to endure day to day.
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We may have been let down too badly as children,
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perhaps a parent left or humiliated us,
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and we are at some level therefore profoundly determined never again to surrender in the true sense to another person.
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We don't put it that way to ourselves, of course.
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We're most likely not even aware of the pattern we're involved in.
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We just feel very in love whenever someone happens to reside very far away,
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while we report that a person who has an apartment round the corner is truly very boring and not that sexy.
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It sounds for a time before you can start to see the pattern rather plausible.
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The true challenge of relationships is not to fall in love with someone who may never want to see us again.
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It is to accept the far more interesting and truly heroic challenge of falling in love with someone who isn't dying,
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isn't stationed in the Arctic or married to somebody else,
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someone who would have no objection to seeing us pretty much all the time.
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Impossible situations feel so romantic not because we have found a soulmate,
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but because the absence of risk has loosened our hearts.
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But we should, with time,
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more fairly, learn to dare to turn our amorous attentions to that deeply dangerous,
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threatening, but ultimately rewarding character.
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The person we know, the person who likes us a lot,
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lot and the person who's available all the time.
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Now that would be truly romantic.
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To learn more about love,
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try our book on How to Find Love,
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which explains why we have the types we do,
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze spreekles op niveau C1 is gebaseerd op de video “The Charms of Unavailable People”. Deze woorden komen het vaakst terug: situation, obstacle, lover, dare, romantic. Deze video bevat 57 zinnen en 698 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 4:38. De spreker praat in een natuurlijk tempo van ongeveer 151 woorden per minuut, dicht bij een alledaags gesprek. 84% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden; de rest kun je beter vooraf bekijken.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
De 15 moeilijkste woorden uit de video, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| obstacle zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈɑbstəkəl/ | obstakel, belemmering |
| unrequited bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˌʌn.ɹɪˈkwaɪ.tɪd/ | onbeantwoord |
| surrender werkwoord | /səˈɹɛndə(ɹ)/ | zich overgeven, capituleren |
| amorous bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈæ.mɚ.əs/ | amoureuze |
| flammable bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈflæməbl̩/ | ontvlambaar, brandbaar |
| humiliate werkwoord | /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/ | vernederen, verootmoedigen |
| infatuation zelfstandig naamwoord | geliefde, vlam | |
| loosen werkwoord | /ˈluːsən/ | losmaken |
| saboteur zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˌsæbəˈtɜː(ɹ)/ | saboteur |
| soulmate zelfstandig naamwoord | soulmate, zielsverwant | |
| profoundly bijwoord | /pɹəˈfaʊndli/ | grondig |
| plausible bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈplɑ.zɪ.bəl/ | plausibel, aannemelijk |
| reside werkwoord | /ɹɪˈzaɪd/ | wonen |
| disappoint werkwoord | /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪnt/ | teleurstellen |
| insecure bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ɪnsəˈkjʊɹ/ | onbeveiligd |
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
| Woord | Betekenis |
|---|---|
| let down werkwoord | teleurstellen |
| turn out werkwoord | uitvallen, resulteren |
Grammatica in deze video
De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:
| Structuur | In de video |
|---|---|
| Betrekkelijke bijzinnen who / which + zin — extra informatie over een persoon of ding | situations which will · someone who is · person who has |
| Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet | is fated · be removed · have been let |
| Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt | have found · has loosened |
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 6 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals isn't, we're, couldn't. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De “th”-klanken: threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, sympathy /ˈsɪm.pəθ.i/
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: objection /əbˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: unrequited /ˌʌn.ɹɪˈkwaɪ.tɪd/, gelatinous /d͡ʒəˈlæt.ɪn.əs/, humiliate /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/, miraculously /məˈɹækjələsli/, paradoxically /ˌpɛɹəˈdɑksɪkli/
Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:
- Stemhebbende eindmedeklinker — /b/, /d/, /g/, /z/, /v/ niet verscherpen: unrequited /ˌʌn.ɹɪˈkwaɪ.tɪd/, reside /ɹɪˈzaɪd/
- /æ/ — opener dan de Nederlandse “e”: amorous /ˈæ.mɚ.əs/, flammable /ˈflæməbl̩/, gelatinous /d͡ʒəˈlæt.ɪn.əs/, miraculously /məˈɹækjələsli/, saboteur /ˌsæbəˈtɜː(ɹ)/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als obstacle, unrequited, surrender.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.