Shadowing Practice: Of romantic love - Alan Macfarlane - Learn English Speaking with Video

Choose a practice mode

Each mode opens a full-screen practice room.

115 sentences

If sentences are too short or too long, click Edit to adjust them.

Romantic love.

I've put in the word romantic because of course there are many kinds of love.

There's love between parents and children, between friends, all sorts of kinds of love.

But the kind I'm talking about is the kind of romance traditionally between a young man

and a young lady and now between almost anything or anybody which leads to a partnership.

It's called by some sociologists the romantic love complex

because it doesn't mean just a passionate attachment or desire between people

but something of that kind which then leads to marriage

or a permanent union

because all societies of course have had passionate attractions even very arranged marriage societies have had them

but the institutionalization the making of romantic love the basis for most people's marriages

and it's most people's because there are always exceptions sometimes they're very rich

or politically powerful have a much more arranged marriage system but the majority of the population that system is extraordinary

i'd always assumed because i was brought up within it that it was how you married how you found a partner.

It was only later as I studied anthropology

and went to societies with arranged marriage that I realized that it was actually quite culturally peculiar.

And so this is what I'm talking about.

Several things I've learned about this institution.

One is this peculiarity that it tends to be until recently geographically limited to western societies,

America to a considerable extent, Europe and certainly England and Scotland.

But secondly that it's old in one of these places.

There are many people who think

that romantic love is a recent thing perhaps created by the romantic poets or in the 18th century.

Some historians even have suggested this.

But I've written a book called Marriage and Love in England from 1300

and the moment you start from 1300 there it is in Chaucer of course

and elsewhere and then you can trace it back

and you can go right back into the Anglo -Saxon love poetry

and Anglo -Saxon institutions and find marriages are clearly based on mutual attraction and not organized by the family.

And so it is a very old institution,

well before the romance movement of the troubadours in southern France,

which some people think is its origin.

So it's old in Anglo -Saxon societies.

But until the 18th century it is true that even in France

and Italy and much of continental Europe it wasn't the main marriage system.

They were largely arranged and it's only in the 19th century in Europe

and in the later 20th century over much of the rest of the world that this romantic love complex has spread.

It has struck me as interesting that it seems to spread about the same time

and at the same speed as a much wider set of institutions which we roughly call culture of capitalism or

industrialization or modernity or something like that.

In other words the separating off of the economy, politics, religion and society

which is how I define modernity seems to be very much associated with romantic love

and you can see why this should be the case

because the essence of the romantic love complex is the fact

that the individual is free to choose who he or she wants to form a steady and long term partnership with.

And that freedom of choice is of course the essence of capitalism as well as Max Weber pointed out.

When people were able to go out onto the market, put their labour onto the market,

get the returns on that labour and keep them and give them or use them as they wished,

that freedom of economic activity is the essence of capitalism, free markets.

And in a way, romantic love is a free market in emotion and social bonding,

because you go out into the market and you do it roughly at the same sort of age in England.

Traditionally in England, most people left home early.

They went off as servants or apprentices or something else and they left their parental household.

So, as Peter Laslett and others have shown from the very earliest listings,

most households had just either parents living together or living together with children before their teens, basically.

Around teenage, the children left home and set up their own households, or at least they joined other households for a while,

and then, often at marriage, they would set up their own household, independent of their parents.

And the way they did this was that they would have been inculcated in an idea that some enchanted evening,

as South Pacific puts it, you will meet a stranger and suddenly you'll know that this is the person for you.

Many people, of course, it doesn't happen quite as quickly as that, though it did for me in my marriages.

I suddenly was attracted on first meeting both my wives.

And when you meet such a stranger you then spend a time in courtship.

This is rather like if you took it in an economic way you buy something

or at least you test something out you go to a shop

and you say could I try out your cars

and maybe I could have a test run in it

and I could have it on approval for a few weeks and if it suits me then I'll buy it.

Well courtship is like

that you basically start off maybe gingerly

it takes a little bit of time before you have any kind of physical intimacies

and you above all explore the other person's personality.

There of course much of English literature, I should think about 75 percent of English literature is about this.

Much of our poetry, obviously Shakespeare, John Donne, the Romantic Poets and many others,

almost all our novels are about love.

And if you look at the famous ones, Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte and so on, you see that this testing out the conversations,

the banter, the humour

and what is being done then is to find whether this person is the sort of person who you trust,

who you like, who you would like to spend time with, who would be a suitable parent for your children.

And if they are, then it gets closer and closer.

And then you tell people that you want to get married

and in the old days you announced it in church and

if there was any objection when you called the bans then it was prohibited.

But basically you announced it and you announced it to your parents.

They had some kind of say.

They could say well we like this person very much or they could say we don't like this person

and if they were wealthy I'm going to leave you some property.

They could say we don't like this person at all and

if you marry them then you'll be cut off

or we'll give you very little and so they could exercise some pressure on you but otherwise not.

Now what the other thing I discovered was through my autobiography looking at particularly my teenage years

and then above all my university when I had several love affairs.

an education in which my heart was being trained from very early on.

We were reading this kind of poetry, these kinds of novels, watching the television later on,

going to the films, above all listening to pop music which was nearly all about love,

love, love, all you need is love as the Beatles sang.

So we were being encouraged because of course love is also very important in capitalism

because it sells love and sex sell many products and

so romance was the driving force and what happened was

that you grew away from your family you realized your parents loved each other more than they loved you

100

and you weren't number one and so you were alone

101

when you i mean you might stay at home

102

but you were still on your own emotionally to a considerable extent

103

and then you found the other one and if you were fortunate

104

that would be a lasting relationship and once you set up

105

that kind of intense partnership or comradeship

106

or companionship through life based on love romantic love to begin with and then more friendship later are on,

107

then it would last and it would become the relationship of your life.

108

And so this strange system which now is spreading to most of the world,

109

I've seen it spreading in China and Japan and Nepal and

110

so on is one which fits as part of a jigsaw puzzle of modernity

111

and it has its huge pleasures and wonderful art and

112

so on but of course it has its pains

113

which include loneliness particularly terrible loneliness when the other one the half of you that you've established goes

114

So love and loss and death are all one package.

115

Thank you.

Download App

Everything you need to speak fluently

AI PronunciationScore every sentence

IPA PracticeMaster every sound

VocabularyBuild your word bank

Vocab GameLearn while playing

Scan QR

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

Same Channel

Essays what book is SD 480p

IELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students

FOR YOU

Recommend Video

63 sentences

Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This speaking lesson is built on the video “Of romantic love - Alan Macfarlane”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: romantic, marriage, parent. This video has 115 sentences and 1496 words to shadow. The speech runs for 12:07. The speaker talks at a steady 123 words per minute, a comfortable pace for shadowing. 85% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.

Key vocabulary in this video

15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
romantic adjective	/ɹoʊˈmæn(t)ɪk/	Fantastic, unrealistic (of an idea etc.); fanciful, sentimental, impractical (of a person).
household adjective	/ˈhaʊshoʊld/	Belonging to the same house and family.
institution noun	/ˌɪn.stɪˈtʃuː.ʃən/	A long-established organization or type of organization, particularly one involved with education, public service, or charity work.
arrange verb	/əˈɹeɪnd͡ʒ/	To set up; to organize; to put into an orderly sequence or arrangement.
capitalism noun	/ˈkæp.ə.təlˌɪzm̩/	A socio-economic system based on private ownership of resources, and capital and their exploitation for profit.
partnership noun	/ˈpɑɹtnɚʃɪp/	The state of being associated with a partner.
poetry noun	/ˈpoʊ.ə.tɹi/	Literature composed in verse or language exhibiting conscious attention to patterns and rhythm.
romance noun	/roʊˈmæn(t)s/	An intimate relationship between two people; a love affair.
announce verb	/əˈnaʊn(t)s/	To give public notice of, especially for the first time; to make known.
essence noun	/ˈɛsəns/	The inherent nature of a thing or idea.
extent noun	/ɪkˈstɛnt/	A range of values or locations.
roughly adverb	/ˈɹʌf.li/	In a rough manner; without kindness, softness, or gentleness.
considerable adjective	/kənˈsɪdəɹəbl̩/	Significant; worth considering.
poet noun	/ˈpoʊ.ət/	A person who writes poems.
teenage adjective	/ˈtiːneɪd͡ʒ/	Of or relating to an age between thirteen and nineteen years old.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
set up verb	/ˌsɛt ˈʌp/	To make ready for use.
bring up verb		To mention.
cut off verb	/ˌkʌt ˈɔf/ [ˌkɐɾ ˈɔf]	To remove by cutting.
go off verb		To explode.
grow away from verb		To gradually have less in common with (someone); to mature out of (activities, interests and/or associates).
point out verb		To identify among a group of similar subjects, or in a scene where the subject might not be readily seen or noticed, with a gesture of the body.
start off verb		To begin.
try out verb		To test (something) to see how it works or whether it is suitable.

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result	if it suits me then I'll buy · if you marry them then you'll be
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	I've put · have had · I've learned
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	was brought · have been inculcated · was attracted
Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing	people who think · person who you · music which was

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 20 contractions and reduced forms, such as I've, I'm, doesn't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “th” sounds: wealthy /ˈwɛl.θi/, anthropology /ˌænθɹəˈpɑləd͡ʒi/
The “sh” and “zh” sounds: institution /ˌɪn.stɪˈtʃuː.ʃən/, partnership /ˈpɑɹtnɚʃɪp/, attraction /əˈtɹækʃn̩/, passionate /ˈpæʃənɪt/, traditionally /tɹəˈdɪʃ.ə.nə.li/
Long words — get the stress right: institution /ˌɪn.stɪˈtʃuː.ʃən/, capitalism /ˈkæp.ə.təlˌɪzm̩/, considerable /kənˈsɪdəɹəbl̩/, traditionally /tɹəˈdɪʃ.ə.nə.li/, associate /əˈsoʊʃi.ət/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Shadow it sentence by sentence at normal speed, repeating each one until your rhythm matches the speaker.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like romantic, household, institution.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: Of romantic love - Alan Macfarlane - Learn English Speaking with Video

Choose a practice mode

Download App

On freedom - Alan Macfarlane

Essays what book is SD 480p

Unit 6: ANTHROPOLOGY/BIOLOGY: The Science of Love (Note-taking)

Pride and Prejudice - Chapter 1 [Audiobook]

Shakespeare's Sonnet 18: Explanation and Analysis

The Heart Structures and Agency

The Victorian Language of Flowers, Explained

UNIT 12 MARRIAGE

Your Two Options in Love After a Bad Childhood

The love You Attract Reveals Who You Are | Carl Jung

102. ジミー・カーが語る関係の美学: 愛もまた、日常である ON English｜言葉と物語

Why We Can't Save Those We Love

D78_ALBRECHT FUND SHADOWING_LOVE