Shadowing Practice: the mindset shift that changed my 30s | why you still feel stuck - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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You've read the books you've done the therapy, you know your attachment style, your love language, your childhood wounds, and every trigger that sets you off.
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You feel like you've been showing up and doing the work, so why does your life still feel the same?
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Hello my muses
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and welcome back to my channel where women who want everything learn to have their cake and eat it too.
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I'm your host Nadine and I'm rebuilding the village woman once had
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so we can have the right conversations and create lives
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I need to say something that nobody else in the self -help space wants to say out loud.
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Being self -aware is not the same as changing your life.
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You are not stuck because you haven't done the work.
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You've done the work, the therapy, the journaling, the books, the podcasts.
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You have shown up for yourself over and over again, and yet you still feel stuck or feel like nothing is moving.
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So this is a conversation you didn't know you needed.
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Today, I'm going to show you exactly what's happening, give you a formula that reframes everything
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and a framework to finally close the gap between who you understand yourself to be and the life you're actually living.
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As always, we don't gatekeep, so let's step into it.
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Let me paint you a picture.
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You are the most self -aware person in your friend group.
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You can trace every insecurity back to a specific moment in your childhood.
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You can explain your patterns in therapy speak.
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You know why you self -sabotage, why you overgive, why you shrink in certain spaces, and yet, the relationship still feels the same.
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the bank account still looks the same.
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The version of yourself you keep trying to manifest and keep journaling about using the 369 method or mirror work or affirmations,
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she still hasn't shown up because you've learned to explain your problems more than what you have to show for your progress.
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This is the gap between knowing something and actually doing it.
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And show of hands, cycles that high achieving,
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deeply introspective women fall into because awareness feels like progress.
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It feels productive.
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It feels like you're doing the work.
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But what you need to realize is that understanding yourself is not the same as changing yourself.
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You can know everything that you think is wrong with you and still choose to be that person.
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Think about it this way.
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When you go see a doctor because you're not feeling well, the diagnosis of what's wrong with you and the actually going to help you feel better are two completely separate things.
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A doctor can identify exactly what is wrong with you, name it, explain it.
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But if they never prescribe a treatment, you don't get better.
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The diagnosis was necessary, but it's not what you ultimately need.
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The same is true for your personal growth.
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Awareness is the diagnosis.
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Action is the treatment plan.
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And many of you have been sitting in the doctor's office, getting the symptoms rechecked over and over again, wondering why you haven't healed.
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We go to therapy, diagnosis.
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We read self -help books, diagnosis.
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We listen to podcasts, diagnosis.
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We journal.
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We talk to our friends about it, diagnosis.
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And don't get me wrong, all of it is necessary because you need to know what's going on before you can do something about it.
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But at the same need to do something about it.
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Because here's what I need you to leave today's chat with.
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Your quality of life is not determined by how well you know yourself.
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It is determined by what you do with what you know.
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And that's where we get lost.
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Because awareness feels productive.
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It feels like progress.
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You had the breakthrough in therapy.
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You cried.
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You understood something new about yourself and it felt like something shifted.
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And maybe it did.
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But a shift in about the last big realization you had about yourself.
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Maybe you finally connected the dots between your childhood and how you choose your partners.
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Maybe you realize that you people -pleased because you fear being rejected.
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The awareness absolutely matters.
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It is the foundational baseline from where you make changes, but that's just the starting point.
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I'll share with you a recent self -discovery of mine that absolutely shook me.
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I have always had this deep, deep desire for close cousins, turbulent childhood, I've always felt very alone.
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I think that's part of why I even started creating content.
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So even though as an adult, I've gone to therapy, I've read the books, I've really studied myself, and I'm now very in tune with my own emotions.
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I have great friends, but I've always had a hard time connecting with people.
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My ex -bestie, who's known me for like 20
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That disconnect between wanting deeper connections and being emotionally available to them was too loud to ignore.
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And I was like, oh, my God.
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Am I emotionally unavailable?
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And suddenly that made so much sense.
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We normally think of being emotionally available as someone who is able to commit or be there for you and be supportive.
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But the other side of emotional availability is being able to get vulnerable and connect.
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So here's what needs to happen next, which is also the part most of us skip.
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One, that awareness has to turn into intentional action,
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something deliberate and specific that is actually pointed of the life you say you want or the woman you want to be.
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And two, after you do what you think you have to do, and this is the hard part, you also have to be honest about whether or not it's working.
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Is what you're doing actually producing a different outcome or does it just make you feel like you're doing something?
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Because if your awareness never connects to actions that yields real results,
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all you have is a very articulate story about why you're stuck and you deserve more
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beautiful life that feels as good as it looks.
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And three, if it is not working, you need to revisit the drawing board again.
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Now I know what you might be thinking, how do I do that?
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Because if it were as simple as just take aligned action, you would have done it already.
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And I agree.
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So let's actually talk about it.
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The reason most of us don't move from awareness into action isn't laziness or
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nervous system and we are not going to skip over that because this is everything.
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Your body has been keeping score long before you started doing the inner work.
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So when you try to make a big change, even a good one, your nervous system can read discomfort or unfamiliarity as a threat.
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So it pumps the brakes.
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It creates resistance.
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It makes you want to procrastinate.
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You start overthinking, self -sabotaging, even things that you feel like are outside of your control,
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but conference you're speaking at or getting sick right before a vacation you haven't taken in years.
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So the first thing I need you to do is release the idea that change has to be dramatic to be real.
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It doesn't.
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In fact, the big sweeping overhauls are usually the ones that don't stick, even though they are so fun to do because it feels like you're redesigning your entire life,
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but it also burns you out quick.
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And more often than not, you quit halfway through the reorganization and planning process.
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These massive overhauls spike your nervous system and your body pulls you right back to what
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Almost like you're making sneaky little moves under the radar of your conscious mind.
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Small changes within your real capacity, not your aspirational capacity, okay?
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Your actual capacity right now.
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So like if you want to get in shape, don't go from 2 ,000 steps to 10 ,000 right away.
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Do like 3 ,000 for a week and then 5 ,000 and 8 ,000.
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Work your way up so your body doesn't freak out essentially.
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because one degree of change held consistently over time creates a completely different reality.
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and then keep assessing.
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This is not a set it and forget it process.
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You have to check in with yourself and ask yourself, honestly, is this really working?
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Is this actually moving me forward?
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Another tip I have for you, which I absolutely love, love, love, love, love, is to learn to add before you subtract.
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And what that means is sometimes when you're building a new habit or
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wakes up early because you want to have a calm, protected morning routine, maybe the best route isn't to force yourself to wake up at 5 a .m right off the bat.
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Maybe the best route is to start your nighttime sleep prep 30 minutes earlier, and then 30 minutes earlier, and then 30 minutes earlier.
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So you're adding in more sleep until eventually you naturally feel more comfortable waking up earlier.
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Or if you want to eat healthier, maybe you don't cut out all the processed carbs and all at once.
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Maybe you add in extra portions of vegetables per meal and make that the first thing you eat, or you add in extra portions of protein so it fills you up,
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or you add in water intake.
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You do all of that before you start cutting things out.
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I personally feel like this works
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because it tricks your brain to feel like you're adding all of these good things
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and benefits rather than just shocking your system by removing all the things you're used to and love.
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Just remember that progress doesn't have to be fast.
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And I know that's hard, especially if you love and seeing results fuels you even more, but consistency over time is a real skill.
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And compounded growth has way more long -term benefits than short -term spurts.
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And lastly, after every single insight you have, every realization, every breakthrough, it needs to end with one question.
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What is the next concrete thing I can do?
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I don't care about what you're feeling.
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You don't need another reflection.
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You need a physical action that exists outside of your head and inside of your actual life.
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you close the gap one intentional step at a time.
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You will never feel fully ready.
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Okay?
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Readiness is not something that shows up before taking action.
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Readiness and confidence shows up because you took action.
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So this is me telling you directly, you already have enough awareness to take the next step.
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You can move forward right now with exactly what you have.
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The women who actually changed their lives are the ones who decided that regardless of what they know, they are going to start anyways.
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Okay?
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You have been studying yourself long enough.
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Now it's time to show yourself what you're actually capable of.
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That's all the cake I have for you today.
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Thank you so much for watching until the end.
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I appreciate it so much.
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And if you enjoyed our little chat today, please like, hype, and leave a comment to share our thoughts.
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And I'll see you in the next episode.
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you you you you you
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This video has 149 sentences and 1861 words to shadow. The speech runs for 11:15. The speaker talks at a natural 165 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 87% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| awareness noun | /əˈwɛɹ.nəs/ | The state or level of consciousness where sense data can be confirmed by an observer. |
| diagnosis noun | /daɪəɡˈnəʊsɪs/ | The process of, or an instance of, identification of the nature and cause of a medical condition or illness. |
| connect verb | /kəˈnɛkt/ | To join (to another object): to attach, or to be intended to attach or capable of attaching, to another object. |
| emotionally adverb | /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/ | In an emotional manner; displaying emotion. |
| productive adjective | /pɹəˈdʌk.tɪv/ | Capable of producing something, especially in abundance; fertile. |
| skip verb | /skɪp/ | To move by hopping on alternate feet. |
| podcast noun | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | A program, especially an audio program, produced on a regular basis, delivered over the Internet in a compressed digital format and designed for playback on… |
| breakthrough noun | /ˈbɹeɪk.θɹuː/ | An advance through and past enemy lines. |
| intentional adjective | /ɪnˈtɛnʃənəl/ | Intended or planned; done deliberately or voluntarily. |
| realization noun | /ˌɹɪə.laɪˈzeɪ.ʃən/ | An act of figuring out or becoming aware. |
| sabotage noun | /ˈsæb.əˌtɑʒ/ | A deliberate action aimed at weakening someone (or something, a nation, etc) or preventing them from being successful, through subversion, obstruction… |
| overhaul noun | /ˈəʊvəˌhɔːl/ | A major repair, renovation, or revision. |
| readiness noun | /ˈɹɛdinəs/ | The state or degree of being ready; preparedness. |
| ignore verb | /ɪɡˈnɔː/ | To deliberately not listen or pay attention to. |
| meal noun | /ˈmiːl/ | Food that is prepared and eaten, usually at a specific time, and usually in a comparatively large quantity. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| show up verb | To appear, arrive, or attend, especially suddenly or erratically. | |
| wake up verb | /ˌweɪk ˈʌp/ | To stop sleeping; to awake. |
| cut out verb | To refrain from (doing something, using something etc.), to stop or cease (doing something). | |
| move forward verb | To cause to make progress. |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 50 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, don't, I've. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, intentional /ɪnˈtɛnʃənəl/, realization /ˌɹɪə.laɪˈzeɪ.ʃən/, sabotage /ˈsæb.əˌtɑʒ/, shock /ʃɔk/
- Long words — get the stress right: emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, intentional /ɪnˈtɛnʃənəl/, realization /ˌɹɪə.laɪˈzeɪ.ʃən/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like awareness, diagnosis, connect.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on | you've been showing · have been sitting · has been keeping |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | You've read · haven't done · You've done |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | women who want · someone who is · next, which is |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | are not stuck · being rejected · is actually pointed |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.