Shadowing Practice: why we should fall in love slowly... - Learn English Speaking with Video

hello my dears so i had the interesting topic brought up to me about the difference between

slow love versus fast love let's look up the definition of slow love

according to ai overview slow love is a romantic orientation

that involves taking a gradual approach to relationships rather than rushing

into commitment a overview's definition of fast love is a term

that describes a culture of superficial expressions of affection

and fleeting emotional connections it can also refer to the idea of falling in love quickly which is sometimes called hemophilia.

I didn't know that.

Known as emotional promiscuity.

This is a term for people who tend to fall in love quickly and often.

People with hemophilia may feel an all -encompassing passion for romantic interest in a short amount of time.

Huh.

I'm gonna start off with saying

that there's nothing wrong with wanting to experience a fast love there's nothing wrong with wanting to be understood

but there are the side effects of being understood too quickly it shows a level of curiosity

that wow this person really wants to get to know me on such a deep level and curiosity is important.

There is a difference between cramming for the exam versus fully understanding the subject.

I'm going to use an example.

There is a person that can get to know you within weeks.

They ask all of the right questions.

They start to really understand who you are, but who they are studying is the person that you are at

that exact moment versus the person

that has gotten to know you over a span of years

and this person has witnessed seeing you change instead of the

first example of where they asked all the right questions and they found out who exactly you are

it's

so much easier for them to kind of put you in

this box of what they studied you to be versus is

the second example of where they witness the box keep growing the first example

that person may feel like whoa you're changing it up a little too much what happened to the person

that i used to know you to be

but the second example is able to understand you to such a fundamental level of throughout all the changes

that i have witnessed you go through these are the points

that have stayed the same

and i know this is you to your core to be

honest rushing love is actually very simple all you have to

do is just lean into the crush of this person

or lean into the few things that you do like about them

and just exploit it and keep using that as a carrying vessel for the rest of the relationship.

It's very easy to do.

The common denominator between slow love and fast love is that there is the chemistry.

I'm not going to take away from the fast love that there isn't a connection there.

There definitely is.

It's just what you do with the connection is extremely important.

I'd say with maturing, you start to understand how to stop being as indulgent with

love the same way how you would with sugar we love

sugar it's delicious it's a nice treat love is like a nice sweet treat

but we want to be able to learn how to pace ourselves

because when you take

so much of it all at once for an extended amount

of time you're gonna feel sick we want to avoid feeling sick from our loves

so with slow love we are practicing patience.

Continue on your life as you would because you still want to put time

and effort into the goals that you have outside of the relationship.

I'd say that's what I notice a lot with the fast loves that I've experienced as well as observed.

A fast love usually puts the rest of our life on hold, while the slow loves, they take such small chunks of time out of our days

and we can still eat the rest of what's on our

plate like they are the sweet treat at the end of the day but we still

fulfilled the main course which were our responsibilities and our ambitions

and i'd say that's a well -balanced meal we would love

to have well -balanced meals as our well -balanced loves

but with the fast loves it gave us no room left in our bodies to have that love for other things

that actually correlates to one of the main reasons as to why i'm scared to fall in love again

love is consuming it's not to say

that i don't want to give this time and energy the problem is

that i do from the first time

that i fell in love i didn't know any part of

how to keep a well -balanced meal i only knew how to keep indulging in what felt great

and a couple heartbreaks later

there's someone here

i was just young and that was to keep leading into this love

and forget everything else but to live a little too presently we love living presently

but you know when you're eating a cake it's like oh this feels great

but you're not thinking about how it's gonna make you feel bad later you're just completely indulging into the present

and just wanting more of this until your satisfaction isn't actually

satisfying it's sickening with a slow love sure it's not going to be it's not going to be overwhelmingly magical

but i'd say it's the small bits of magic

that continues to prove to me it is sustainable

and it will be there through my thick and thin

because it already has versus the fast loves it's like who are you and a lot of the answers to this problem.

I wouldn't even call it a problem.

It's just this rite of passage in life is learning how to be more patient.

We all have different styles of being patient too.

It's truly just further understanding yourself and what your well -balanced meal looks like.

At least definitely with the times that I've experienced fast love, I was running away from something.

Whether I knew it or not.

I was running away from something.

One of my fast loves, I was running away from what my purpose was in life.

I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up

and the fact that I had already been at the age of grown up

and I wasn't in the career that I wanted to be in yet, it was agonizing to admit I was lost.

So then I fell into a really fast love.

There goes the well -balanced meal.

I avoided the vegetables and I just went straight for the sugar.

I didn't want to confront that I hadn't had eaten any vegetables.

So yes, the slow loves that I have been experiencing as of late,

I am just truly ever so in love with the fact that you exist.

I didn't know

that slow love existed until i found my best friends i think my abandonment issues really really subsided

100

when i found love within these people they have been there through the thick and thin

101

i believe that my soul is tied to them

102

and it truly took time in order for

103

that tie to be created with a knot so strong over time and weather

104

and erosion the knot will still be there versus with the fast loves a knot is still tied

105

but it can become so undone

106

so quickly with extreme ease it is upsetting it's very upsetting

107

that oh my gosh i thought

108

that i tied such a beautiful bow with this person

109

and you probably did but the bow is made of silk

110

and although it had the most beautiful presentation is slipped right from underneath itself versus the shipping rope

111

that I have with my slow loves.

112

I have no fear and only trust for the slow loves that I have accumulated.

113

In terms of how to get slow love, I would say it is paying attention to the other aspects of your life

114

and that is how you can start practicing a slower love you want to divide

115

and experience life in moderation especially the good

116

and the bad parts it's the balance it's it's the well balanced meal i have to go now

117

but i hope you enjoyed this video and i love you

118

so much my romantics i wish you to find all the pairs of your socks

119

and all the quarters in your pockets thank you so much romantics i have to go now bye guys

120

and a couple heartbreaks later i started to understand and a lot of the answers to please let me know guys

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “why we should fall in love slowly..”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: fast, slow, balanced, versus, meal. This video has 120 sentences and 1482 words to shadow. The speech runs for 10:05. The speaker talks at a steady 147 words per minute, a comfortable pace for shadowing. 83% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.

Key vocabulary in this video

The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
knot noun	/nɑt/	A looping of a piece of string or of any other long, flexible material that cannot be untangled without passing one or both ends of the material through its…
haemophilia noun	/ˌhiːməˈfɪliə	Any of several hereditary illnesses that impair the body's ability to control bleeding, usually passed from mother to son.
heartbreak noun	/ˈhɑɹt.bɹeɪk/	Overwhelming mental anguish or grief, especially that caused by loss or disappointment.
indulge verb	/ɪnˈdʌld͡ʒ/	To yield to a temptation or desire.
presently adverb	/ˈpɹɛzəntli/	Before long; soon.
vegetable noun	/ˈvɛd͡ʒ.tə.bəl/	A plant raised for some edible part of it, such as the leaves, roots, fruit or flowers, but excluding any plant considered to be a fruit, grain, herb, or spice…
curiosity noun	/ˌkjʊɹ.iˈɑ.sə.ti/	Inquisitiveness; the tendency to ask and learn about things by asking questions, investigating, or exploring.
lean verb	/ˈliːn/	To incline, deviate, or bend, from a vertical position; to be in a position thus inclining or deviating.
abandonment noun	/əˈbæn.d(ə)n.m(ə)nt/	The act of abandoning, or the state of being abandoned; total desertion; relinquishment.
accumulate verb	/əˈkjuːmjʊˌleɪt/	To heap up in a mass; to pile up; to collect or bring together (either literally or figuratively), often gradually and without active intent.
agonizing adjective	/ˈæɡ.ə.naɪ.zɪŋ/	Causing physical or mental agony.
correlate verb	/ˈkɔɹəleɪt/	To compare things and bring them into a relation having corresponding characteristics.
denominator noun	/dɪˈnɒmɪneɪtə(ɹ)/	The number or expression written below the line in a fraction (such as 2 in ½).
encompass verb	/ɪnˈkʌmpəs/	To form a circle around; to encircle.
indulgent adjective	/ɪnˈdʌld͡ʒənt/	Disposed or prone to indulge, humor, gratify, or yield to one's own or another's desires, etc., or to be compliant, lenient, or forbearing.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
run away from verb		To avoid or shirk a problem or consequences; to rush to back away from or disclaim responsibility for something.
grow up verb		To mature and become an adult.
bring up to verb		To raise (something) so that it reaches a particular standard or minimum requirement.
find out verb		To discover, as by asking or investigating.
go through verb		To travel from one end of something to the other.
look up verb	/ˌlʊk ˈʌp/	To have better prospects.
take away from verb		To subtract a quality from; make something seem not so good or interesting.

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	has gotten · has witnessed · have witnessed
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	is sometimes called · be understood · being understood
Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing	quickly which is · people who tend · course which were

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 29 contractions and reduced forms, such as didn't, you're, I'd. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “sh” and “zh” sounds: moderation /ˌmɑdəˈɹeɪʃən/, superficial /ˌsupɚˈfɪʃəl/, erosion /ɪˈɹəʊʒən/, gosh /ɡɑːʃ/, ambition /æmˈbɪʃ.ən/
Long words — get the stress right: haemophilia /ˌhiːməˈfɪliə, curiosity /ˌkjʊɹ.iˈɑ.sə.ti/, abandonment /əˈbæn.d(ə)n.m(ə)nt/, accumulate /əˈkjuːmjʊˌleɪt/, agonizing /ˈæɡ.ə.naɪ.zɪŋ/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Shadow it sentence by sentence at normal speed, repeating each one until your rhythm matches the speaker.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like knot, haemophilia, heartbreak.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

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