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1
Well, Jan has this schoolgirl fantasy.
2
It's a pretty common one.
3
I just...
4
I feel uncomfortable wearing the dress.
5
Okay.
6
I'm gonna be at the doll store.
7
Michael, you shouldn't do anything that you're uncomfortable with.
8
Jan says anything that doesn't scare us is not worth doing.
9
I don't know.
10
Maybe we're different people.
11
I like cuddling and spooning, and she likes videotaping us during sex.
12
Oh, my God.
13
Oh.
14
And then watching it back right afterward to improve my form.
15
That is not healthy behavior.
16
No, it's not that bad.
17
The worst part is that she shows it to her therapist and they discuss it.
18
Michael, you need to get out of this.
19
No, she's just fooling around.
20
It's a woman thing.
21
No, normal women don't do stuff like that.
22
This is bad.
23
That's bad.
24
Oh, that's all right.
25
I'm okay.
26
I'm okay.
27
You guys...
28
What am I gonna do about Jan?
29
Done.
30
Read the prose first.
31
Okay, Jan is smart, successful,
32
good clothes, hot, perfect skin, nice butt.
33
She does have very nice clothes.
34
Okay, okay, cons.
35
Cons.
36
Wears too much makeup, breasts, not anything to write home about, insecure about body, I'm unhappy when I'm with her, flat chested.
37
What was the last one?
38
She's totally flat, shrunken chesticles.
39
No, the one before that.
40
I'm unhappy when I'm with her.
41
Michael, you shouldn't be with someone who doesn't make you happy.
42
I'm happy sometimes.
43
Um... When we scrapbook.
44
Or right towards the end of having sex.
45
Look, most relationships have their rough patches.
46
You just have to push through it sometimes.
47
Yeah, that's smart.
48
Maybe.
49
But it sounds like you're just wrong for each other.
50
That sounds good, too.
51
I don't know who's right.
52
I just don't.
53
I don't know.
54
I don't know.
55
I bet you know.
56
Don't think, just answer.
57
What do you want to do about Jan?
58
I want to break up with Jan.
59
Wow.
60
I want to break up with Jan.
61
My mom taught me that.
62
Okay, remember, be strong.
63
I love you guys.
64
I'm getting her voicemail.
65
Don't leave him.
66
Hey, Jan, it's me, Michael.
67
I'm just calling to say that I think we need a little break permanently.
68
And I know everybody says this, but I want to remain friends.
69
Or at least business associates who get along.
70
Oh, just so you know, it's not me, it's you.
71
Okay, buddy.
72
Somebody just walked in.
73
I have to go.
74
Um, so I'll talk to you later.
75
Michael, I was, um...
76
I was really unhappy with our conversation earlier, and I...
77
I just, I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I decided that I would drive down here and apologize to you in person. So...
78
I'm sorry.
79
Thank you. So, we're good?
80
Absolutely.
81
Oh, hold on.
82
No. No. One second.
83
Oh, it's from you.
84
Oh.
85
You want to grab some dinner?
86
Oh, yeah.
87
Okay.
88
Maybe some Italian or...
89
Chinese.
90
Fish sounds great.
91
Yeah, I guess.
92
Really playing the scales, huh?
93
Yeah, I don't know, it just sort of sounds like noise to me now.
94
Are you thinking of any new fish?
95
I don't love you anymore.
96
What?
97
I still like you, but you were gone a really long time, and you didn't really email me all that much.
98
You retweeted me a lot, to be fair.
99
But I don't love you.
100
Okay, I get it.
101
You're unhappy.
102
I've been gone a long time, and we lost a little bit of juju, But you and me, we have a future.
103
There is a lot of love here.
104
I just said there isn't love.
105
On your side.
106
But there's tons on my side.
107
It's gushing.
108
We're just out of sync right now.
109
But that's just timing.
110
What's timing?
111
I mean, my parents lasted 38, 40 years.
112
They were never happy at the same time.
113
I guess.
114
I mean, what do we have left?
115
35, maybe 40 years?
116
If we're lucky, I mean, I've spent a lot of time in the sun.
117
You got really sunburned.
118
I'm gonna be a prune in like three years.
119
Ugh.
120
I know you may not be feeling love for me right now, but if you fake it, I won't be able to tell the difference.
121
So I'll feel good, and then eventually, maybe, you'll actually start to love me again.
122
You really think we can get that back?
123
Yes.
124
Come on.
125
Totally.
126
Hi.
127
Hey, you okay?
128
I couldn't do it.
129
Oh.
130
I'm sorry.
131
Oh, you don't have to apologize.
132
I just...
133
I just want you to be happy, okay?
134
We're breaking up.
135
And just so you know, I was worried that you were dead.
136
You were gone for three months.
137
Andy?
138
David, still here.
139
What was that about three months?
140
How you feeling?
141
Better?
142
No. Well, you look cute as a button.
143
You worked up quite a sweat.
144
The vet is removing all of Sprinkles' organs right now and sending them to the lab.
145
I am a farmer, Angela.
146
What does that mean?
147
When a farmer sees an animal that is in pain, that has no quality of life, that has no utility, a farmer does what city folk don't have the stomach to do.
148
You did kill her!
149
I sang her her favorite songs.
150
You put her in my freezer!
151
It was beautiful and gentle and respectful.
152
I fed her antihistamines and she gradually fell asleep.
153
Well, then she barfed them up in the freezer and tried to get out.
154
Well, I'm not responsible for that!
155
Hey!
156
Ow!
157
It's okay.
158
Nothing!
159
I'm robbing her!
160
It's nothing!
161
It's fine!
162
What?
163
How could you do that without telling me?
164
I thought I was helping you.
165
I expected a hug.
166
I took care of that cat the best way I knew how.
167
Cat heaven is a beautiful place.
168
But you don't get there if you're euthanized.
169
I know a great taxidermist.
170
I'll pay to have her stuffed.
171
Well, he's not great, but he's pretty good.
172
You don't understand.
173
Take back my seriously.
174
Don't get bit.
175
Or we can have her buried out at the East Field by Mother.
176
Huh?
177
Angelo?
178
Don't touch me, Dwight!
179
You could live for a hundred years and say sorry, sorry, sorry continuously and that still wouldn't be enough for some people.
180
Some people don't understand sorry.
181
Animals don't understand I'm sorry.
182
They understand woe and heel and off.
183
Try saying I'm sorry to a mule, he'll kick you in the head.
184
Here we go, four times the charm.
185
It's like a road where you just love me, there's something here and the next day, like sometimes you do, and it's telling you don't, sometimes you do, and it's quite good to walk.
186
What?
187
It's out there, and it's like...
188
Hey.
189
Hey.
190
You crying?
191
No. Allergies?
192
No. No, did Daryl touch you?
193
What?
194
No, Daryl did not touch me.
195
Can we just keep going, please?
196
Please?
197
Listen, listen, it's...
198
It's been full for two minutes.
199
I just can't be in there right now.
200
What's the matter?
201
No, it's not gonna work.
202
There's too much distance.
203
Sure it is.
204
Oh, no, no, no. It's gonna work.
205
It'll be fine.
206
Michael, we've only been dating each other for a few weeks.
207
Listen to me.
208
I like you so much.
209
I like you too.
210
And I've dated almost four women in the last...
211
I've dated four guys last year too.
212
Not last...
213
No. In like the last 10 years, I've dated almost four women, and you are so far above them, it is stupid.
214
Michael, no. Don't.
215
Don't make it harder than it has to be.
216
I'm...
217
That's what she's...
218
Holly thinks that this relationship is over.
219
Well, you know what?
220
I am not going to give up that easy.
221
I'm going to make this way harder than it needs to be.
222
You know what?
223
I think we're a great couple.
224
I think we are a classic couple.
225
I think we are like Romeo and Juliet.
226
I think we go together so well.
227
We're like peanut butter with jelly.
228
Don't you think?
229
Me too.
230
I think so.
231
Well, then don't do it.
232
Please don't do this.
233
Please don't do this.
234
Hey, what's up?
235
Just thought I'd try you.
236
I don't think you know what I'll do.
237
I was thinking about that story where you ran into your girl who used to babysit.
238
I'm not going to be okay.
239
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
240
Please call me back.
241
Please.
242
I'm not gonna be okay.
243
I will.
244
No, I won't.
245
I'm not strong.
246
I'll go back to Jan, and I hate Jan.
247
Oh, God.
248
What's the last of it?
249
Oh, that's mine, actually.
250
Um, maybe put it back in the truck.
251
You know what I'm saying?
252
You know, I have some things I need to do this weekend.
253
I just remembered, so I'll just ride back with you.
254
What you want me to put it back in the truck?
255
I'll be down in just a second.
256
Holly? So, um...
257
I think I'm gonna go back with Daryl.
258
Okay.
259
Bye.
260
Bye.
261
Bye.
262
I know it's hard, Mike.
263
Breakups hurt.
264
We didn't break up.
265
Look like it.
266
Yesterday, Angela may or may not have figured out that I'm having an affair with her husband, so I just have to wait and see when she comes in.
267
If she's cold and awkward and cruel to me, then great.
268
It's business as usual.
269
Good morning.
270
Oscar.
271
Can I ask you a question? Of course.
272
Ask me.
273
Questions.
274
Is it cool in here to you?
275
Yes, a little bit.
276
Yes.
277
I think the thermostat is acting up again.
278
It's a stupid thermostat.
279
Nothing's a catastrophe.
280
So I'm going to, on your suggestion, get someone to fix it.
281
I'll just go downstairs.
282
Thank you.
283
No. Thank you, Angela.
284
She doesn't know.
285
I shouldn't be surprised.
286
This is a woman who married a man who's obviously a homosexual.
287
Basically, she has her head in the sand.
288
In a way, I feel sorry for her.
289
I guess the universe rewards true love.
290
Meet me in the old place.
291
Five minutes.
292
I need you.
293
Come on in.
294
The water's fine.
295
Dwight, it's not that kind of meeting.
296
Put your clothes back on.
297
I know.
298
That's not why I'm naked.
299
I always work out without my clothes.
300
Just put them on.
301
Put on your clothes.
302
I need your help.
303
I need someone who can operate outside of the law.
304
Oh, I'm sorry.
305
Your vigilante privileges ended when you broke up with me.
306
If I'm not in your panties, I don't go vigilantes.
307
Would you ask your husband?
308
My marriage is in danger.
309
I don't know who I can trust.
310
I need someone to be there for me.
311
All right, what are we talking?
312
Surveillance?
313
Wiretapping?
314
Something like that?
315
Yeah, the less I know, the better.
316
I know just a guy.
317
He was a volunteer sheriff, too.
318
Kicked off the force.
319
Can you arrange a meeting?
320
I could try.
321
I'm going to use SMS text.
322
Okay.
323
Text went through.
324
Okay.
325
All we can do is sit and wait.
326
Okay.
327
Oh!
328
Look at that.
329
Yeah, he's free anytime.
330
Not a problem.
331
Person to suffer.
332
What about a knee capping?
333
No, no, you're not helping Trevor.
334
Yes, a knee capping could work.
335
No, Angela!
336
What are you saying?
337
You said you would be there for me.
338
I'm trying, but what you're asking is...
339
It's the only thing that will make this right.
340
Okay.
341
But it's cruel, because a woman with damaged knees can't scrub with a damn.
342
All right.
343
Then it's settled.
344
One knee capping.
345
Now the hit goes down at 4 o'clock.
346
Keep in mind, once I leave, there's no turning back.
347
Call me email.
348
Once you hit send, you can't unsend.
349
You can with Outlook.
350
Oh, my God, really?
351
Yes.
352
That would have saved me a lot of trouble.
353
It's Oscar, isn't it?
354
He and the senator are gaying each other.
355
I don't know what you're talking about.
356
Your nostrils tell a different story.
357
They flare like that every time you're engaging in deception.
358
Hello again, naughty nostrils.
359
Fine!
360
It's Oscar. So what?
361
Well, I could understand you wanting to get a stranger's knees whacked.
362
But a co-worker?
363
Dare I say a friend?
364
Exactly.
365
A friend.
366
Someone who sits next to you year after year, making chit-chat and smiling, and all the while running behind your back and defiling your marriage and seducing your husband.
367
I can't even imagine how painful this must be for you.
368
But the first ones to break your marriage vows were you and me.
369
Well, you might be right.
370
But it's too late now.
371
What do you mean?
372
He's here.
373
No!
374
No, no!
375
No!
376
Oscar!
377
Oscar!
378
Oscar!
379
Good!
380
Listen, hey, come with me.
381
What?
382
Come with me.
383
What are you doing?
384
There are a bunch of construction workers in the warehouse without their trousers, drinking diet sodas.
385
You've got to see this.
386
They're extraordinary.
387
Yatsy.
388
Hey.
389
Sandwich delivery for Mr. Oscar Martinez.
390
I am Oscar Martinez.
391
No, not him, not him.
392
Outside.
393
I need you to put the Christmas tree back up.
394
It's outside.
395
I didn't ask you where it was.
396
I told you where it needs to be.
397
Shut up.
398
Excuse me.
399
I'm not moving the tree.
400
Face it.
401
The only power you have over me is this little secret that I know you're not gonna tell.
402
Oh, and you wanna know how I know that?
403
Because then you won't be able to plan your stupid, tacky parties anymore.
404
So you move the tree.
405
Okay.
406
Okay.
407
Angela's having sex with Dwight.
408
I caught them doing it after Toby's going away party.
409
Well, don't look so surprised.
410
I knew it.
411
You did not know it.
412
I knew some of it.
413
Everyone knew some of it.
414
It's Christmas.
415
You knew it.
416
Thank you.
417
I knew it.
418
She knew it.
419
All right, everybody's still here.
420
Perfect.
421
Got a little surprise I've been working on.
422
Angela, my bride, I just wanted you to know that for the rest of our lives, no matter the Cultural milieu,
423
I will always be there to bring you some Christmas cheer.
424
Ruh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh I think I'd like to go home now.
425
Sure.
426
Tough room.
427
Come on, I just learned it.
428
Just so you know, protocol is a little round of applause.
429
But Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
430
You've got to tell Andy about us.
431
That is a terrible idea.
432
One of your worst.
433
Get it over with.
434
Then we don't have to hide anymore.
435
You're expanding on your worst idea.
436
Do you love me or not?
437
I've already admitted that I do.
438
Why do you keep making me repeat it?
439
Because you're engaged to Andy.
440
Can't we just focus on what we have right now?
441
Aren't you looking forward to our weekend away together?
442
I guess.
443
Come on.
444
Visiting the Quaker meeting house?
445
Tell me again about its construction.
446
You know.
447
Tell me.
448
No. Come on.
449
It's rectangular and framed.
450
And each beam is made from a 40-foot timber and fashioned from a single oak over 300 years ago.
451
The cedar shingled roof is over two stories high.
452
The chimney.
453
You get Andy to watch the cats?
454
Yeah, this shouldn't be a problem.
455
You're not making any sense.
456
Well, no I'm not. So I...
457
I'm not very articulate today, so I'll just leave it for another time.
458
Another day.
459
All righty.
460
But she'll be fine.
461
I am off.
462
Have a good meeting.
463
Thank you.
464
Kick Wallace's ass.
465
Okay.
466
I will.
467
Dwight and Angela are having an affair, so...
468
I can't hear you.
469
Through the glass.
470
Dwight and Angela are having an affair.
471
They've been sleeping together for some time.
472
That was the news.
473
I wanted to let you know.
474
What?
475
All right.
476
See you later. Are you serious?
477
Yeah.
478
Dwight?
479
Andy?
480
It's over.
481
Oh, good.
482
She broke up with you.
483
No. It's over between you two.
484
Oh, no way.
485
I am not giving up.
486
You have to.
487
No, I don't.
488
She doesn't love you.
489
She's marrying me.
490
Well, I don't know about that, because she certainly seems to enjoy making lovemaking with me.
491
Angela Bernard.
492
Will never be her name.
493
It will be her name, and you will have to call her that.
494
I don't think so.
495
Hey, guys, why don't we, uh, just cool off a bit?
496
I'm telling you to back down.
497
And I'm telling you that I will never back down.
498
That'll make you.
499
Oh, really?
500
How are you gonna do that?
501
Through the use of force.
502
That is very general and does not scare me in the slightest.
503
I will fight you.
504
Nope.
505
Okay, fine.
506
Good.
507
A duel.
508
The winner gets Angela.
509
Fine.
510
Fine.
511
This is nuts.
512
What is your weapon?
513
Okay, you know what?
514
That's enough because...
515
Hey, this is none of your business.
516
Hey, it is my business when it happens at work.
517
Guess what?
518
Not happening at work.
519
Yes.
520
We're gonna do it outside.
521
Outside of work.
522
None of your business.
523
None of your business then.
524
Good.
525
So what weapon?
526
My bare hands.
527
That is stupid.
528
I will use a sword and I will cut off your bare hands.
529
Then I'll get something, too.
530
I've had two men fight over me before.
531
Usually it's over which one gets to hold the camcorder.
532
Where are you? Where?
533
On the desk of Andrew Bernard.
534
Note.
535
Pathetic.
536
Dear Dwight, by now you have received my note.
537
How are you?
538
I am well.
539
You are no doubt wondering why I have left this note.
540
It's come to my attention that in any physical match with you I would surely be bested.
541
True.
542
The soft underbelly of my refined upbringing is my soft underbelly.
543
There's Andy.
544
He's in his car.
545
You guys, what is he doing?
546
Why isn't Dwight turning around?
547
The Prius is silent if he keeps it under five miles per hour.
548
He deserves the win.
549
Oh my God.
550
What's happening?
551
Andy's running over Dwight with his car.
552
Whoa!
553
Hey!
554
Hey!
555
Hey!
556
Hey!
557
Yeah!
558
Oh!
559
Oh!
560
Come on!
561
Ow!
562
Oh!
563
Oh my god.
564
You give up?
565
Never!
566
Get out of face me like a man!
567
I am a man!
568
I'm a bigger man than you'll ever be!
569
I would never sleep with another man's Fiatte!
570
You're not a man!
571
You don't know how to take care of her!
572
All you do is dress fancy and sing, oh la la la la la la la!
573
La la la la la!
574
What does that mean?
575
You can't even protect her!
576
Protect her from what?
577
Bears, you idiot?
578
When's the last time you saw a damn bear in Scranton?
579
Last year, idiot!
580
You know, every time I come to New York, I never have a good time.
581
It's too crowded, it's too expensive.
582
But tonight, it was awesome.
583
Guess it's just who you're with.
584
Yeah, we went to the Spotted Pig for dinner.
585
It's in the village.
586
Karen knew it.
587
And then we second-acted Spamalot.
588
That's when you sneak in at intermission with all the smokers.
589
And then we went to a bar that used to be a church.
590
Oh, and at this one bar, I swear I saw Lorne Michaels.
591
That wasn't him.
592
So what's going to happen with us when I get this job?
593
Oh, do you mean when I get the job?
594
Well, if you get the job, then I'd move here with you.
595
Do you move with me?
596
I'm not stupid, okay?
597
I was at the beach.
598
We don't have a future in Scranton.
599
There's one too many people there.
600
You mean Kevin?
601
Exactly.
602
No, but you get it, right?
603
You can't stay there.
604
Yeah.
605
I do.
606
Come on.
607
I don't know how I feel about hiring a Sixers fan.
608
I should leave.
609
Now, let me ask you a question, Jim.
610
You're clearly a very bright guy.
611
Thanks.
612
Always hit your numbers, personable.
613
You make a great impression on everyone you meet.
614
I'm sorry, wait.
615
So is the question, how'd I get to be so awesome?
616
Because I don't have an answer for you.
617
Oh, hey, do you have your quarterly numbers?
618
Yes, absolutely.
619
Questionnaire.
620
Sorry to make you fill that thing out.
621
Oh, no, absolutely.
622
It's the HR formality.
623
We have this very irritating HR guy here.
624
He's probably the only person you're not going to like.
625
Kendall.
626
Ugh.
627
So first up, how do you think you function here in New York?
628
What's that?
629
Oh, great.
630
You know, I just really appreciate the buildings and the people.
631
And there's just energy that New York has.
632
Not to mention they have places that are open past eight, so that's a bonus.
633
You've been in the Scranton branch a long time.
634
What have you liked most about that place?
635
The friendships.
636
Okay.
637
Well, we want the person who takes this position to be here for the long haul. So...
638
Long haul.
639
Where do you see yourself in ten years?
640
How are your feet?
641
Medium rare.
642
Thanks.
643
The real reason that I went to Stanford was because I wanted to be...
644
Not here.
645
I know.
646
And even though I came back,
647
I just feel like I've never really come back.
648
Well, I wish you would.
649
Dunder Miplen, this is Pam.
650
Just one moment, I'll transfer you.
651
I haven't heard anything.
652
But I bet Jim got the job.
653
I mean, why wouldn't he?
654
He's totally qualified and smart.
655
Everyone loves him.
656
And if he never comes back again, that's okay.
657
We're friends.
658
And I'm sure we'll stay friends.
659
We just, we never got the timing right.
660
You know, I shot him down, and then he did the same to me, and... But you know what?
661
It's okay.
662
I'm totally fine.
663
Everything is gonna be totally...
664
Pam.
665
Sorry.
666
Um, are you free for dinner tonight?
667
Yes.
668
All right.
669
Then it's a date.
670
I'm sorry, what was the question?
671
So do you want to see it or not?
672
I don't know.
673
They're like Friday night crowds.
674
Oh my God, you're like agoraphobic.
675
Agoraphobic?
676
Yeah.
677
Really?
678
Yeah.
679
You would rather sit on your couch and watch a Phillies game than go out to a movie with your awesome girlfriend.
680
Absolutely correct.
681
Later, Jim.
682
Kev, have a good weekend.
683
Yeah.
684
Okay.
685
Bye.
686
Okay, so this is what's going to happen.
687
You're going to suck it up.
688
Here we go and we're gonna go to dinner.
689
Okay.
690
And then we're gonna go to the movie.
691
Sounds good.
692
Hey, help her!
693
Hey.
694
Right!
695
Right!
696
Right!
697
Pam, please call security!
698
Every day for eight years, I have brought pepper spray into this office to protect myself and my fellow employees.
699
And every day, for eight years, people have laughed at me.
700
Well, who's laughing now?
701
Helene, I think you're a wonderful person, and I hate...
702
God, I've enjoyed dating you and being your boyfriend so much.
703
But I have to consider Pam's feelings.
704
As a friend and a co-worker, I cannot in good conscience continue to date you when I know what this is doing to her.
705
Michael.
706
Michael, it's okay.
707
No, it's not.
708
I know that it took me a little while to come around, and it's still a little weird to get used to, but you obviously make my mom very happy.
709
And that makes me happy.
710
Wow, that just...
711
You've really grown.
712
Well...
713
Oh, thank you, Pam.
714
And I hope you were as gracious during...
715
this next part.
716
Helene, once again, you are a wonderful person, and you have lived a great life, and I envy it.
717
And I want it someday, but just in the future.
718
You need somebody who understands your references.
719
Who is Kafkaesque?
720
I've never...
721
I don't know him.
722
There's another woman, and her name is Italy, and skydiving, and bungee jumping.
723
Okay, so...
724
And I want kids.
725
And you, unfortunately, have already completed that part of your journey down there.
726
Michael.
727
It's not my decision.
728
It's Mother Nature.
729
And Mother has very strict rules about fertility.
730
Fertility.
731
Oh, yeah, I got it.
732
I'm 58.
733
What am I supposed to do now?
734
Well, hobbies.
735
Stop.
736
Oh, my God.
737
Oh, my God.
738
Michael?
739
Jan?
740
Hi.
741
Look, okay, I think we're all adults here.
742
And it has always been my understanding that we have an open relationship.
743
What are you talking about?
744
What does that mean?
745
After you said you weren't coming, I invited Carol to come, and I don't think that I did anything wrong.
746
No. No, you didn't.
747
Hi, I'm Jan.
748
I'm Michael's boss.
749
Hi.
750
Does anyone want a drink?
751
Uh, no, I'm good.
752
Um...
753
Hey, hey, hey, what?
754
Jan's here.
755
Come on, shooter!
756
Oh, of course, shooter!
757
No, blow for luck.
758
Shooter!
759
Also, you, not playing favorites.
760
All right, here we go.
761
All right.
762
Yeah!
763
Sorry, babe.
764
I'm just beat.
765
It's OK.
766
I'll see you at home.
767
OK.
768
Hey, don't try to lose too much money, all right?
769
OK.
770
In case we still want to put on a honeymoon.
771
Hey, Halpert.
772
Keep an eye on you, all right?
773
OK. Will do.
774
Bye.
775
Hey.
776
Hey, how's it going?
777
Good, especially after I took all your money in poker.
778
Yeah.
779
Oh.
780
Hey, uh, can I talk to you about something?
781
About when you want to give me more of your money?
782
No, I don't.
783
Did you want to do that now?
784
We can go inside.
785
I'm feeling kind of good tonight.
786
I was just, um...
787
I'm in love with you.
788
What?
789
I'm really sorry if that's weird for you to hear, but I need you to...
790
hear it.
791
Probably not good timing.
792
I know that.
793
I just...
794
What are you doing?
795
What are you expecting me to say to that?
796
I just need you to know.
797
Once.
798
Well, I, um...
799
I...
800
I can't.
801
Yeah.
802
You have no idea.
803
Don't do that.
804
What your friendship means to me.
805
Come on.
806
I don't want to do that.
807
I want to be more than that.
808
I can't.
809
I'm really sorry. If you misinterpreted things.
810
It's probably my fault.
811
Not your fault.
812
I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship.
813
Thank you.
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O cenário: Relações complicadas e conversas reais
No vídeo, Michael compartilha os altos e baixos de seu relacionamento com Jan, em uma conversa repleta de expressões coloquiais e situações cotidianas. Essa dinâmica reflete como falamos na vida real: discussões sobre sentimentos, avaliações de parcerias e até um pouco de humor. É o tipo de diálogo perfeito para quem quer aprender inglês com vídeos, pois combina linguagem natural com contextos que todos reconhecemos.
Trechos úteis e colocações para memorizar
- "Rough patches": Significa "períodos difíceis" em um relacionamento. Exemplo: "Most relationships have their rough patches" (A maioria dos relacionamentos tem seus períodos difíceis).
- "Get out of this": Expressão para "sair dessa situação". Útil em conversas sobre problemas: "You need to get out of this" (Você precisa sair dessa).
- "Write home about": Usado para dizer que algo não é especial. Exemplo: "Breasts, not anything to write home about" (Seus seios não são nada de especial).
- "Push through it": Significa "persistir" ou "seguir em frente". Muito comum em conselhos: "You just have to push through it" (Você só precisa persistir).
Seu desafio de shadow speech
Para melhorar a pronúncia em inglês e a fluência, tente o shadowing com esse diálogo. Repita cada frase de Michael e seus colegas imitando a entonação, o ritmo e a ênfase. Comece com trechos curtos, como "I'm unhappy when I'm with her" ou "Most relationships have their rough patches". Faça isso várias vezes até que a fala fique natural. Essa prática de conversação em inglês ajuda a internalizar a linguagem de forma intuitiva. Lembre-se: o shadow speech é uma ferramenta poderosa para se sentir mais confortável ao falar inglês no dia a dia!
Gramática neste vídeo
As estruturas que o falante mais usa, com as palavras exatas do vídeo:
| Estrutura | No vídeo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — uma ação que começou antes e continua | we've only been dating · I've been working · They've been sleeping |
| Frases condicionais if + oração, will/would + verbo — uma condição e seu resultado | if you fake it, I won't be · if you get the job, then I'd move |
| “Used to” used to + verbo — um hábito ou estado do passado que não é mais verdade | used to babysit · used to be |
| Present perfect have/has + particípio passado — uma ação passada que ainda importa agora | I've been · have left · I've spent |
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.