Практика Shadowing: Couples Therapy | Breakthroughs and Breakdowns from Season 4 | SHOWTIME - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео
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241 предложений
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1
I think I just had, like, a little bit of a epiphany.
2
I just feel like it does matter who started it.
3
It matters if you're in court.
4
Sometimes I feel like because I'm talking to a toddler most of my time, I do not know how to interact with adults.
5
My last fuck was given last week.
6
Sometimes I feel like because I'm talking to a toddler most of my time, I do not know how to interact with adults.
7
I don't feel like I have any, like, anything fucking interesting to say to anybody.
8
No, Chrissy.
9
Fuck you.
10
So the actual main thing that's bothering you is being alone with law
11
and not having mitchell join the two of you yes
12
that we're not a priority
13
that is really important the way you're going about trying to
14
solve your problem is by doing your best to push mitchell away okay
15
so let's think about that okay mitchell i asked iliana to kind of try to get to the root feeling
16
and what she's missing.
17
And what did you hear her say?
18
She said that she felt lonely.
19
Yeah.
20
Does that make sense to you?
21
It makes sense.
22
And I feel bad.
23
Bad.
24
Yeah, like, I feel bad that, you know, she's going through that.
25
But she feels those things.
26
So it moves you.
27
Yeah, like, I've experienced genuine loneliness.
28
Like, I know what it's like.
29
What are you referring to?
30
It's like as a kid
31
when my parents had split my mom ended up staying with
32
her sister it was me my two older brothers my mom
33
and my aunt and her and my aunt's one -bedroom apartment
34
so my oldest brother got the sofa and
35
when it came time to swap he never did so me
36
and my me and my other brother we just consistently slept on the floor.
37
And during this time, whenever my mom and I had a difference of opinion, she would always, like her go -to line was like, go live with your father.
38
Let's go live with your father.
39
So it was one of those things where it's just like, okay, well, she doesn't really want and appreciate me here.
40
Right.
41
And that's okay.
42
So I felt loneliness.
43
Like I know what that's like.
44
Loneliness and it sounds like there's no room for you anywhere.
45
Yeah.
46
And during that time, like I had video games.
47
I'm not sure if you're familiar with this, but like I discovered YouTube at this point
48
so like I got into I got into no not YouTube per se
49
but like anime and another place to go yeah and um but when I was growing up watching anime was
50
considered to be like like corny like you're a loser
51
if you did this so it was one of those things
52
that I sort of repressed but I found a friend group uh later on who was just like like, very openly and accepting of these things.
53
And we all did the same stuff.
54
Me being with my friends for a few hours out of the week, literally, brings me back, makes me feel whole again,
55
because that's a part of what I identify as, like, my heart's home.
56
I can't go home and rely on there being peace at home.
57
I can't go home to her and rely on there being peace there.
58
But I can always go to my friends for those few hours out of the week
59
and rely on that always being consistent.
60
There is consistency there.
61
If I could do this one thing once every other week, is it really that bad?
62
I get that, and I'm not mad at it.
63
I think that a part of me is just like, I'm trying to be that place.
64
Like, I'm trying to make our family that thing that, you know, maybe we both didn't have growing up.
65
I'm not saying to take those things away from you fully, but I'm saying, like, we can create peaceful things together.
66
It was, first of all, a scheduling thing about me getting an opportunity for a circus gig,
67
but it's, like, near New York, so I get to spend more time with Josh, and I assumed that Josh would want to have more time with me because I'm spending,
68
actually, a lot of time in Las Vegas.
69
Just so I'll understand concretely, this would mean that you would be in New York regularly more than you were planning to be?
70
Yeah, two to three days more per week.
71
Got it.
72
And I think it's like, that's definitely exciting.
73
But the conversation around something that would impact me dramatically was never had.
74
Mm -hmm.
75
majority of the conversation was focused on logistical exercises and assumptions.
76
Rather than asking you, how would that impact you?
77
Or just like, hey, we're a team.
78
Like, let's sit down and this would be a big impact on you.
79
Like, can we just talk about the ways in which this will impact you and if you're up for this?
80
What are you thinking, Erin?
81
I was honestly pretty hurt that I, like, wasn't immediately welcome in our home.
82
That, like, everything you've ever told me is like, you want more time with me?
83
So I was like, it felt contradictory to everything that you've ever asked for.
84
But you're each talking from your own hurt or grievance.
85
In a way, you're each saying, why don't you understand what hurt me?
86
But you're talking about different things.
87
But shouldn't we be focusing our energy on the beginning parts of the friction and argument?
88
I think that's one way to possibly go.
89
From my experience, it doesn't really work.
90
And it doesn't matter who started.
91
I just feel like it does matter who started it.
92
It matters if you're in court.
93
I mean, it doesn't matter if you want to just make things better.
94
Oh man, I just feel like for the person that initially causes the miscommunication...
95
But people don't always see things the same way.
96
Who knows when it started?
97
It could have started half an hour before the conversation even started.
98
Oof.
99
That's hard for me.
100
I understand in?
101
I feel like most in most of the conflicts that I'm in, I'm the one that's more clear about the emotional range that I'm experiencing.
102
And I get that there's like a whole bunch of reasons why that isn't the case for women in the United States, just culturally, right?
103
Definitely.
104
Josh, you're getting abstract and let's stay a little closer to what actually happened.
105
What do you think about this conversation?
106
Where are you?
107
I think one of the things that I personally struggle with the most is
108
that I have no point of real reference of what it would be like to be in partnership with Josh
109
if Aaron was here consistently.
110
I think Josh and I's time together is predicated on Aaron being busy.
111
Pretty much up until really recently, when Aaron comes home, I don't really see Josh or our plans would, like, drop.
112
And you have worked really hard on shifting that or making things consistent, I do appreciate it.
113
And you've also been so great about that, too, about being flexible and understanding that.
114
Yeah, I guess I'm thinking about like a few weeks ago.
115
That was really frustrating.
116
We had breakfast plans at 11.
117
I text him at 10 a .m., like super excited to see you, have breakfast, whatever, don't hear anything.
118
You call back and it's like 10 minutes before we're supposed to hang out and you're like, oh yeah, no, I'm gonna have coffee with Aaron, so I'm not gonna be able to be there.
119
I'm gonna leave here in 15 minutes, so that means you're gonna show up 30 minutes after we discuss.
120
And so that, like, that kind of stuff really eats me, because I'm like, what does this mean if Erin moves home?
121
Like, does that mean I really am just, like, secondary?
122
And if so, I really want to know that so I can orient myself appropriately, because I'm pouring a lot into this.
123
What are you feeling?
124
Well, I mean, that, like, in those moments, I can totally understand and empathize how all of a sudden having the time being slightly shifted,
125
even if it's a small amount of time, can be emotionally hard to experience and confusing.
126
Do you get that it's less about the time thing, though?
127
Yeah, it's more about the larger part of it.
128
Which is the feeling, the secondary, that your time is not respected as much as Aaron's time, and that it can just be moved around with, like, little consent to you.
129
No consent.
130
Yeah.
131
Yeah.
132
Lorena, do you know that Josh suggested changing our partnership title from primary partnership to anchor partners to not put you second?
133
I mean, I, through, like, context, kind of understood that to be happening.
134
And I feel like we, Josh and I, like, didn't really discuss what anchor partner means to us much, to, like, my own disappointment a little bit,
135
but I guess Josh would reassure me that it, like, it's kind of like a primary partnership, but without the inherent hierarchy.
136
I mean, I think I wouldn't have...
137
I didn't ever describe it as similar to a primary partnership.
138
I think I said, wow, we actually, based on our relationship and how it has evolved,
139
we actually prescribed way more to relationship anarchy and the values of relationship anarchy.
140
And those things are us creating the rules of our relationship.
141
between us ourselves.
142
We had a pretty intimate first two years, and then it just died.
143
It just completely, like, got cut off.
144
What killed it?
145
Her belief in abstinence.
146
Well, we started off casually, so I was having fun, too, without thinking it was going to really go anywhere.
147
But why is casual sex or intimacy okay?
148
And when you get serious, it's not?
149
It's not okay.
150
It wasn't.
151
But I think maybe I was rebelling then.
152
I was probably angry and upset and going through a breakup.
153
And just meeting him, I felt like, it was like, oh, he's a bad boy.
154
So I'm going to do bad things with the bad boy
155
that I'm not going to marry that's you're suddenly allowing yourself
156
some freedom internally well it only goes for a very short
157
period of time where i can just let it go
158
and just let my flesh just do whatever it wants
159
and then i'm hit with a whole bunch of shame and guilt and this mental torment later on
160
but the struggle is with doing things or even wanting things yeah both
161
so it's not even just act of doing
162
and it's just like just any desires yeah like for example like masturbation like
163
that I feel the same way
164
so it's not just it's not just what you do with someone else it's sexuality in general in general
165
but now there's nothing to feel guilty about we're married
166
and this is something we should be enjoying but there is no like urge or like desire for me like wanting
167
unless I had to focus.
168
And when I do focus and it actually happens, A, it hurt, and two,
169
he get disappointed because I couldn't finish or he couldn't finish.
170
So are the two of you operating in this case that the idea of sexuality is intercourse?
171
Yes.
172
Okay.
173
Well, maybe...
174
Right?
175
Yeah.
176
Right.
177
Well, when couples meet this kind of impasse,
178
pass, they have to get a little creative and expansive about how they define sexuality.
179
What if you're aiming to just restore some sense of intimacy, physical intimacy between the two of you,
180
not intercourse, coming, just intimacy and some basic pleasure, intercourse off the table.
181
I'm all on board for it I just I'm afraid it's he's gonna push to the next
182
and then he's gonna express disappointment okay well can you not do
183
that well anything's better than exactly right exactly
184
so many other things you can do I just don't know
185
what it looks like I'm sure you can think of what it looks like that's the thing with our relationship
186
that when it's good it's really really good
187
and it just takes like a pin drop
188
and then it's really really bad
189
so maybe you're both really good dissociators well i am for sure yeah he actually dissociates
190
so do you want to just help me just how much do you dissociate what's your We're jumping right in,
191
so tell me your speech.
192
I mean, apparently, um...
193
You look like you think it's the best to not say anything.
194
Sometimes it's easier for me to speak and then he'll jump in.
195
So I guess it's just kind of like a moment where it just gets
196
so heightened and to the point that his conscious self is like, I can't do this anymore.
197
And like, he won't remember the rest of the night.
198
So, so if anyone - You dissociate.
199
Yeah.
200
Okay.
201
So you're saying your relationship goes through certain periods that you're like this and then other periods when the bats are out.
202
Yeah, there are some times when we have one fight and it's like three months of, like, a struggle to...
203
To get back from the fight?
204
Yeah.
205
What are the main issues?
206
Family dynamics.
207
I don't have family because I've excommunicated myself from the family who's been very abusive to me,
208
but then his dynamic with his family...
209
He will still defend them even if they're hurtful towards him and in all of our issues.
210
I think this is our main like catalyst that We've come from very different perspectives.
211
Mm -hmm because you'll have different versions not not only different birds.
212
Actually, yes We will have the same version.
213
We don't think we don't make up stuff But we have a different feelings to the both of us.
214
This is right here.
215
I just see it from this angle So I see the logo and you don't.
216
No. You see the logo?
217
I see the bottle about to explode and me holding it together and my hands bleeding.
218
You're saying you feel things intensely.
219
If something is really bad, you're saying you just go to sever the relationship.
220
So that's kind of an intense reaction.
221
Yeah, for sure.
222
And you're saying about Casimir, you, I guess, tolerate more?
223
Or you're not, you don't have that intensity of a reaction?
224
To you, it's not an exploding bottle?
225
Yeah, to me, it's not an exploding bottle.
226
Right.
227
What would be your response to that?
228
What?
229
I'm afraid of the fighting.
230
I'm afraid of, it's the intensity of the fights.
231
What happens?
232
I don't like, like, it's the yelling, the drinking, the name -calling,
233
and when it gets to that point, it feels helpless.
234
Mm -hmm.
235
He's my best friend.
236
Mm -hmm.
237
I want it to work.
238
I don't want the anger.
239
Mm -hmm.
240
What are you thinking?
241
I mean, this is kind of where I was talking about the bottle earlier that I do want the anger sometimes.
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Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку
В этом видео 241 предложений и 2535 слов для шедоуинга. Речь длится 17:13. Говорящий держит ровный темп — около 147 слов в минуту, удобный для шедоуинга. 85% слов входят в 3000 самых частых слов английского языка; остальные стоит разобрать перед занятием.
Ключевая лексика этого видео
15 слов из видео, которые стоит выучить, с произношением и значением:
| Слово | Произношение | Значение |
|---|---|---|
| partnership существительное | /ˈpɑɹtnɚʃɪp/ | партнёрство |
| intimacy существительное | /ˈɪn.tɪ.mə.si/ | бли́зость, инти́мность |
| rely глагол | /ɹɪˈlaɪ/ | полага́ться, положи́ться |
| explode глагол | /ɪkˈsploʊd/ | взрыва́ться, взорва́ться |
| loneliness существительное | /ˈloʊnlinəs/ | одино́чество |
| intercourse существительное | /ˈɪn.tɚˌkɔɹs/ | обще́ние |
| consistent прилагательное | /kənˈsɪs.tənt/ | после́довательный |
| anger существительное | /ˈæŋɡə/ | гнев, злость |
| consent глагол | /kənˈsɛnt/ | разреша́ть, разреши́ть |
| logo существительное | /ˈloʊ.ɡoʊ/ | логоти́п, ло́го |
| anime существительное | /ˈæn.ɪ.meɪ/ | аниме́, анимэ́ |
| consistently наречие | /kənˈsɪstəntli/ | после́довательно |
| intensity существительное | /ɪnˈtɛnsɪti/ | интенси́вность |
| interact глагол | /ɪn.təˈɹækt/ | взаимоде́йствовать |
| anchor существительное | /ˈæŋ.kəː/ | я́корь |
Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите
| Слово | Произношение | Значение |
|---|---|---|
| grow up глагол | расти́, выраста́ть | |
| cut off глагол | /ˌkʌt ˈɔf/ [ˌkɐɾ ˈɔf] | отреза́ть, отре́зать |
| end up глагол | зака́нчиваться, зако́нчиться | |
| make up глагол | /ˌmeɪk ˈʌp/ | составля́ть, соста́вить |
| show up глагол | объявля́ться, объяви́ться | |
| sit down глагол | сади́ться, сесть |
Грамматика в этом видео
Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:
| Конструкция | В видео |
|---|---|
| Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас | I've experienced · you've ever told · you've ever asked |
| Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает | was given · was never had · is predicated |
Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание
Говорящий использует 99 сокращённых и редуцированных форм, например I'm, you're, don't. Произносите их коротко, так, как слышите.
- Звуки «th»: bother /ˈbɑðɚ/, empathize /ˈɛmpəˌθaɪz/
- Звуки «sh» и «zh»: partnership /ˈpɑɹtnɚʃɪp/, casual /ˈkæʒ(u)əl/, flesh /flɛʃ/, conscious /ˈkɑn.ʃəs/, assumption /əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/
- Длинные слова — следите за ударением: intimacy /ˈɪn.tɪ.mə.si/, consistently /kənˈsɪstəntli/, intensity /ɪnˈtɛnsɪti/, disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/, disappointed /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪnɪd/
Как заниматься с этим видео
- Прослушайте всё видео один раз молча и выпишите незнакомые слова.
- Повторяйте предложение за предложением на обычной скорости, пока ваш ритм не совпадёт с ритмом говорящего.
- Запишите себя и сравните с оригиналом, обращая внимание на такие слова, как partnership, intimacy, rely.
Что такое техника Shadowing?
Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.