Практика Shadowing: watch this if you feel like a failure - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

Why does it seem like everyone's getting richer, skinnier, better than me?

Why does it seem like everything's going wrong and every time I think it's going right, something bad happens?

Like, I guess I just can't catch a break.

If you're watching this, you might feel the same way.

You thought you'd be further along by now, that you'd have more money, more experience, more friends, but you have none of that, and it actually feels like you're going backwards.

You hate when people tell you to look on the bright side or think positively or don't worry, your time will come but little do they know it's been weeks,

months, years, and you're still waiting just to feel slightly successful.

I'm going to tell you something you probably don't want to hear, but it is the one thing that has helped me more than anything else.

It is the manifesto I live my life by, and that's radical acceptance.

We say that everything in our life is bad, but is it really?

Why is it bad?

Who told you it was bad?

We judge and label every single experience as either good or bad.

It's just human nature.

Everything needs to be categorized in our brain by emotion.

The summer before college, good.

My 16th birthday party, bad.

But these are superficial labels because nothing in this world is good or bad.

It just is.

When I see the world this way, I've become less attached to it and more at peace.

I've just stopped letting things that happen to me tell me who I am.

We get emotionally triggered by situations because our brain automatically labels it as negative

or we instantly dislike someone because we don't see them as a good person.

But the hard truth I've had to learn is that I'm no better than them.

I've made people cry before.

I've raised my voice.

I've made a lot of mistakes.

But I don't label myself as good or bad.

I just am.

We all have positive and negative traits, but we can't fully say we're one or the other.

So we also don't need to associate things as being positive

or negative because then our mind creates expectations for how to feel in situations that haven't even happened yet.

When I got my internship my junior year of college, I was so happy, I couldn't believe it.

But when I actually started the job, it did not live up to what I thought it was gonna be.

It actually kind of sucked.

And then I became depressed because what I thought was gonna be so great wasn't actually anymore.

These judgments drive how we think.

How we think dictates how we feel and how we feel motivates how we act.

But I give you permission to let go of these good and bad judgments.

We don't need to keep labeling ourselves and other people.

And your failures, they are what they are.

Is it really a failure if it was also an experience?

How can you have a failed experience?

You can't.

Because the experience did exactly what it was supposed to.

You experienced it.

It made you learn.

And that will never be taken away from you.

It is at the center of the human experience.

We live to do.

And to do is to experience all of what life has to offer, both good and bad.

It's actually quite wonderful that we can even remember all of our experiences

and take away all of the lessons from them so that we can evolve into better people.

Now that I think about it, I've never wished that I didn't learn from an experience.

It is the only thing with a guaranteed positive outcome.

In order to change the way I react, I need to change my thoughts.

We go through life believing every thought we have, that we're not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough.

These thoughts tell us we're behind and we actually believe them.

But once I started going to therapy, I could become aware of the thoughts I couldn't hear before.

And once I could hear them, I could silence them.

That's one of the reasons I'm so grateful to be partnering with BetterHelp, the sponsor of today's video.

BetterHelp has made it incredibly easy to get therapy online with licensed professionals from the comfort of your own home.

If you've been feeling stuck, behind, or unworthy, therapy can be a valuable tool for working through these thoughts.

And if the therapist you're matched with isn't the right fit, you can switch to a different one at no extra cost and no hard feelings.

If you'd like to learn more, you can go to betterhelp.com slash Alison Beck and get 10% off your first month of therapy.

But radical acceptance isn't just about accepting what's happening to you right now.

It's also about accepting everything that's happened to you in the past.

A lot of us say we want peace, but we're still fighting old wars.

We're still arguing with things that happened five years ago, 15 years ago.

We replay conversations in our head.

We think about the people who hurt us.

We think about the opportunities we lost, the mistakes we made and without realizing it, we spend years wishing reality was different.

But it's not.

There's nothing you can do to change your experiences.

You can only change how you perceive them now.

And the more we resist these truths, the more power they continue to have over us.

We let our past dictate our future, our careers, our relationships.

We let it creep into our thoughts that tell us over and over again why we're not good enough.

Learning radical acceptance does not mean you have to approve of your past.

It doesn't mean what happened to you was okay or that your trauma was fair.

It doesn't mean your heartbreak was deserved or that you have to continue putting energy into things that don't benefit you.

But whether we decide to accept or not, our past will remain unchanged.

For a long time, I thought that healing meant figuring out how to erase painful experiences from my life.

But it's not about erasing anything or pretending like it doesn't exist.

It's about learning to look at it and say, I accept it and I can move on.

I know you're going through a hard time right now.

I know you must feel so ashamed.

But every failure and experience you perceive is a gift.

You become wiser, stronger, more clear.

And I can genuinely say that every failure has taught me what I needed the most.

So in this moment, if you feel like a failure, you don't need to force yourself to be happy.

You don't need to pretend that everything's going your way, but you've never lost your power.

And you have the control to stop letting these things mean something about who you are.

Being single doesn't mean you're unlovable.

Not having money doesn't mean you're unsuccessful.

Being rejected doesn't mean you're unwanted.

You are not your experiences.

Nothing is good or bad.

It just is.

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And you just are.

Что такое техника Shadowing?

Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.

Практика Shadowing: watch this if you feel like a failure - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

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Топ-5 фраз для повседневного общения

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Что такое техника Shadowing?