Shadowing Practice: How to Recognize a Toxic Relationship - Learn English Speaking with Video

בחר מצב תרגול

כל מצב פותח חדר תרגול במסך מלא.

161 משפטים

אם המשפטים קצרים או ארוכים מדי, לחץ על ערוך כדי להתאים אותם.

How to recognize a toxic relationship.

That's what I'm gonna be talking about today.

I'm gonna give you 10 red flags to recognize and four ways to detox the relationship.

I'm Dr. Tracy Marks, a psychiatrist, and this channel is about mental health education and self -improvement.

I publish videos every week, so if you don't wanna miss one, click subscribe.

This information is not just for your relationship with your partner.

It could be anyone with whom you're close and who takes up space in your life, a boyfriend, sister, mother.

And since we all have faults, how can you tell when you need to accept someone's flaws or when you're overlooking a serious issue?

People do change, after all, as they mature, so it's not completely unreasonable to think

that someone can change their behavior but there are some behaviors

and attitudes that just don't change much with time at least not without professional help

and because they're a part of the person's personality

so here are a list of some behaviors

that I think you should not overlook or ignore and just think

that they'll go away with time and also these are not transient behaviors

that only pop up when someone's going through a bad patch.

These are behaviors or attitudes that persist over time regardless of the circumstances.

So number one, chronic anger.

The anger can take the form of blow -ups, irritability, moodiness, and this is not just due to depression or anxiety.

In this case, the person uses anger to control.

So you find yourself tiptoeing around their anger and you measure what you do because you don't want to make them angry.

Number two, chronic sarcasm.

This is really just a disguised form of anger.

Number three, disparaging humor.

And this is similar to sarcasm.

Sarcasm is wit with bitterness behind it.

And here the person is always putting something or someone down but in a joking way.

Number four, having a punitive mindset.

Feeling as though people deserve the bad things that happened to them or idiots deserve to lose.

Here's another example.

Suppose I blow up at you and call you a this

or that and then you get upset and then I say well sorry I hurt your feelings but you push my buttons.

You shouldn't have pushed my buttons.

That's not an apology because what I'm really saying is I'm not.

I mean yeah I don't like that you got upset sort of but you deserved my wrath for being stupid.

That's a punitive mindset.

Number five, a controlling nature.

Here's an example of this.

Suppose I tell you I don't think you look good in purple

and then I see you out somewhere and you're wearing purple

and I get angry because after all

if you really cared about me you wouldn't wear purple because I told you you don't look good in it.

So wearing that shirt means that you don't value you my opinion

and you don't really care about me at all

and your response is well of course I care about you I won't wear the shirt again I'm

so sorry now you have to think twice every morning

when you look in your closet to make sure you're not gonna put on something

that I said I didn't like and

that invalidates me that's controlling number six excessive insecurity

this is where the person needs you to reassure them constantly

they can also need you to agree with them do what they say do it their way etc

because if you don't then they don't feel good about themselves

and they'll blame you for that number seven extremely opinionated

and this is a disguised form of someone who's judgmental and usually with judgment comes criticism number eight the manipulator.

And how do they do this?

They may use guilt to make you do things by using a lot of if -then statements.

So if, like I used in the previous example, if you really cared about me then you do this.

If you hear them using a lot of if - thens, that's an indication or sign that they're trying to manipulate you.

They also don't take no for an answer and they try and get you to change your mind a lot.

A subtle way they can try

and get you to change your mind is by making the same request of you over and over and asking why.

So you've already told them no you don't want to do something

there they want you to do they keep asking you so why don't you want to do this?

So as an example let's say I tell you I'd like you to move in with me

and you don't want to you've already told me no and

then I get my place together well why won't you move in with me

and you say I think it's a great day oh, I just, I don't want to shack.

I don't believe in shacking.

Shacking, where do you get that from?

That's your parents talking, that's not you.

And I say all these things to shoot down your reasoning.

That conversation goes away.

We have the same conversation, I bring it up again.

Oh, why won't you, I got this nice place, why won't you move in with me?

Come on, move in with me.

And then after a while, it just gets to where you feel like you gotta recraft your answer over and over.

You don't have another way of saying it.

I've talked you down every time you gave your answer

so at some point you finally get to the place where you're like well

I guess I don't really have a good reason okay and then I've won.

That's manipulation.

Number nine, predominant self -centeredness.

These are people who take more than they give and

they still may give but only after they feel satisfied

that their needs have have been fully met before they give back to someone else.

And even when they do give up themselves, it's easy for them to feel like they've given too much

and then feel exploited and taken advantage of and they'll blame you for that.

So sometimes it doesn't even feel good to get something from this person

because you know there's gonna be a price to pay on the back end

when they blame you for taking advantage of them.

The number 10 and the last red negative flag here is the need to always be on the offense.

They have a world view that people will always try and stick it to you unless you get yours first.

So they always have to get over in some way.

For every transaction, they have to be on the upside.

If you grew up around someone who did these kind of things,

you may find yourself being attracted to similar people even though you don't like their behavior.

Because even objectionable behavior can feel familiar and comfortable at some level.

What if you're already involved in a toxic relationship?

Here are four suggestions on how to detox it.

100

Number one, take a break from your interactions with the person.

101

You need to give yourself time to reflect on what bothers you about the relationship.

102

How do you feel when you're away from the person?

103

How much do you miss them?

104

What do you miss about the person?

105

Here you're getting some clarity on the negatives and the positives of the relationship.

106

Number two, create emotional distance.

107

And this is really the key to disentangling from toxic relationships.

108

Think about how much closeness is necessary.

109

Is this person in your life your spouse?

110

If so, then you should get professional help to help improve the relationship.

111

But aside from that, you still need to pull back ever so slightly.

112

And this isn't to say that you should be cold to your spouse

113

but suppose your wife is cynical and critical and this has beaten you down over the years.

114

To protect your self -esteem you're gonna need to give her opinion less weight

115

so that you don't internalize her every negative opinion of you.

116

And even in the closest relationships you still have to maintain your own thoughts and ideas and independence from your spouse.

117

Now you may say, I don't want to keep secrets from my husband.

118

This isn't about keeping secrets.

119

Even though you're married, you still have separate minds

120

and it's okay to have some thoughts that are your own and and no one else's.

121

Your thoughts don't have to merge into one big thought bank

122

and then both of you just dip out of the bank to know what's going on.

123

But what if the person with whom you have this toxic relationship is your parent?

124

Then you have to come to grips and accept

125

that you're just not going to have an intimate relationship with your parent

126

and this is a hard pill to swallow everyone wants at

127

some base level to have a close relationship with their parent

128

but people are people people are flawed individuals

129

and sometimes it's just not possible to have that emotional intimacy

130

that at least at the level

131

that you think you should especially based on what we see in society of kind of the perfect relationships once

132

you come to that realization, you pull back as far as you need to in order to maintain whatever relationship is logistically necessary.

133

You just, you interact at a minimal level so you don't let their opinions define you.

134

Number three suggestion, look at your contribution.

135

What are you doing to keep the drama going?

136

Are you picking fights with your partner and provoking him to lose it?

137

Are you treating your mom the same way she treats

138

you to just to get back at her we usually stay in toxic relationships for a reason even

139

if it's a twisted reason

140

and once you recognize how you're perpetuating the problem look to change the behavior

141

and see how it impacts the relationship a lot of times

142

when you address your own issue within

143

that relationship things start to break down in the relationship naturally because you're a different person and

144

that dyad that kept going before isn't clicking and working anymore because you're not playing your role anymore.

145

Number four get professional help.

146

Serious marital and family problems usually call for some form of counseling.

147

You need an objective person to see both sides of the problem and

148

if it's a relationship outside of your marriage

149

then you work with your own therapist to see how you can recognize your your blind spots

150

and recognize your contribution to the problem your personal therapist

151

or coach can understand you

152

and help give you some more specific information on how to handle the toxic relationship that's it for me

153

that seemed really long it might just be because of talking about all

154

that negativity but there is light at the end of the tunnel

155

and you don't have to stay enmeshed in a negative relationship oh

156

and I almost forgot I I mean an affirmation meditation video that goes along with this video today.

157

So I'll put a link in the corner for you.

158

Check it out.

159

If you know someone who could use this information, please share this video.

160

I'd like to hear your comments too.

161

I do respond to comments.

הורד אפליקציה

כל מה שאתה צריך כדי לדבר בשטף

הגיית AIציון לכל משפט

תרגול IPAשלוט בכל צליל

אוצר מיליםבנה את מאגר המילים שלך

משחק אוצר מיליםלמד תוך כדי משחק

סרוק QR

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

אותו ערוץ

FOR YOU

המלץ על סרטון

86 משפטים

Why Do We Stay in Relationships That Hurt Us?

Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults

214 משפטים

Fawning: The Survival Strategy That Turns Into Self-Abandonment | Fawning #2

Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults

22 משפטים

its time to have a conversation with them

Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults

72 משפטים

SIGNS you're in a situationship with a narcissist

Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults

223 משפטים

3 Hard Truths About Finding the Right Person

Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults

72 משפטים

6 Signs You're Depressed, Not Lazy

Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults

440 משפטים

Dr. K Explains: Borderline Personality Disorder

Daily ConversationUniversity Students

130 משפטים

Understanding EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT: the key to resilience

Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults

278 משפטים

The Dating Rules Manipulators Hope You Ignore

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

49 משפטים

Are We Rejecting Them Because They’re Wrong—or Because We’re Unwell?

Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults

אוצר מילים והערות הגייה לשיעור הזה

שיעור הדיבור הזה מבוסס על הסרטון “How to Recognize a Toxic Relationship”. בסרטון הזה יש 161 משפטים ו-1915 מילים לתרגול Shadowing. הדיבור נמשך 11:09. הדובר מדבר בקצב טבעי של כ-172 מילים בדקה, קרוב לשיחה יומיומית. 87% מהמילים נמצאות בין 3,000 המילים הנפוצות ביותר באנגלית, כך שקל לעקוב אחרי אוצר המילים.

אוצר מילים מרכזי בסרטון הזה

15 מילים מהסרטון שכדאי ללמוד, עם ההגייה והמשמעות שלהן:

מילה	הגייה	משמעות
toxic שם תואר	/ˈtɒk.sɪk/	רעיל
anger שם עצם	/ˈæŋɡə/	כַּעַס
purple שם עצם	/ˈpɝ.pl̩/	סגול
spouse שם עצם	/spaʊ̯s/	בֶּן זוּג, בַּת זוּג
contribution שם עצם	/ˌkɑntɹɪˈbjuʃən/	תְּרוּמָה
suggestion שם עצם	/səˈd͡ʒɛst.ʃən/	הַצָּעָה
disguise פועל	/dɪsˈɡaɪz/	הסווה
ignore פועל	/ɪɡˈnɔː/	הִתְעַלֵּם
anxiety שם עצם	/æŋˈzaɪ.əti/	חֲרָדָה
bother פועל	/ˈbɑðɚ/	הפריע
reflect פועל	/ɹɪˈflɛkt/	החזיר
objective שם עצם	/ɒbˈd͡ʒɛk.tɪv/	מַטָּרָה
define פועל	/dɪˈfaɪn/	הגדיר
interaction שם עצם	/ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/	יַחֲסֵי גּוֹמְלִין, אִינְטֶרְאַקְצְיָה
offense שם עצם	/əˈfɛns/	עֶלְבּוֹן

Phrasal verbs שתשמעו

מילה	משמעות
give up פועל	וִתֵּר
grow up פועל	גָּדַל

משפטים שכדאי לחזור עליהם

משפטים קצרים ושלמים מהסרטון שאפשר להשתמש בהם בשיחה יומיומית:

Shacking, where do you get that from?
What if you're already involved in a toxic relationship?
How do you feel when you're away from the person?
How much do you miss them?
What do you miss about the person?

דקדוק בסרטון הזה

המבנים שהדובר משתמש בהם הכי הרבה, עם המילים המדויקות מהסרטון:

מבנה	בסרטון
הווה מושלם (Present perfect) have/has + past participle — פעולה שקרתה בעבר ועדיין יש לה חשיבות או השפעה עכשיו	you've already told · I've talked · I've won
סביל (Passive voice) be + past participle — הדגש הוא על מה שקורה, לא על מי שעושה את הפעולה	have been fully met · being attracted · are flawed
משפטי זיקה (Relative clauses) who / which + clause — מידע נוסף על אדם או דבר	people who take · someone who did · someone who could

הגייה ששווה לשים לב אליה

הדובר משתמש ב-75 קיצורים וצורות מקוצרות, כמו don't, you're, I'm. אמרו אותם בצורה הקצרה, כפי שאתם שומעים אותם.

הצלילים של “th”: therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, bother /ˈbɑðɚ/, wrath /ɹæθ/
הצלילים של “sh” ו-“zh”: contribution /ˌkɑntɹɪˈbjuʃən/, suggestion /səˈd͡ʒɛst.ʃən/, interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/, transaction /tɹænˈzækʃən/, publish /ˈpʌblɪʃ/
מילים ארוכות — שימו לב להטעמה: contribution /ˌkɑntɹɪˈbjuʃən/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/, indication /ɪndɪˈkeɪʃən/

צלילים שדוברי עברית מתקשים בהם:

/w/ — שפתיים מעוגלות, לא /v/: twist /twɪst/, swallow /ˈswɑ.loʊ/, perpetuate /pɚˈpɛt͡ʃəˌweɪt/
/æ/ — פתוח יותר מה-“אֶ” העברית, לא כמו “a” ב-“cup”: anger /ˈæŋɡə/, sarcasm /ˈsɑːɹˌkæzəm/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/
/r/ — הלשון לא נוגעת בשום מקום, לא ה-“ר” הגרונית: sarcasm /ˈsɑːɹˌkæzəm/, contribution /ˌkɑntɹɪˈbjuʃən/, chronic /ˈkɹɑ.nɪk/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/

איך לתרגל עם הסרטון הזה

הקשיבו לכל הסרטון פעם אחת בלי לדבר, ורשמו את המילים שאתם לא מכירים.
התחילו במהירות 0.75×, תרגלו Shadowing משפט אחר משפט, וחזרו למהירות רגילה כשזה מרגיש קל.
הקליטו את עצמכם והשוו למקור, תוך תשומת לב למילים כמו toxic, anger, purple.

מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?

שאדואינג היא טכניקת למידת שפה מבוססת מדע שפותחה במקור להכשרת מתורגמנים מקצועיים ופופולרית על ידי הפוליגלוט ד"ר אלכסנדר ארגואלס. השיטה פשוטה אך עוצמתית: אתה מקשיב לאודיו באנגלית ילידית וחוזר עליו בקול רם מיד — כמו צל העוקב אחרי הדובר עם עיכוב של 1–2 שניות בלבד. בניגוד להאזנה פסיבית או תרגילי דקדוק, שאדואינג מכריח את המוח והשרירים בפה לעבד ולשחזר דפוסי דיבור אמיתיים בו זמנית. מחקרים מראים שזה משפר משמעותית את דיוק ההגייה, האינטונציה, הקצב, הדיבור המחובר, הבנת השמיעה ושטף הדיבור — מה שהופך אותו לאחת השיטות היעילות ביותר להכנה לIELTS Speaking ולתקשורת באנגלית בעולם האמיתי.

טכניקת Shadowing: קרא את המדריך המלא שלב אחר שלב →

Shadowing Practice: How to Recognize a Toxic Relationship - Learn English Speaking with Video

בחר מצב תרגול

הורד אפליקציה

How to Deal with Negative Emotions - Distress Tolerance

The 5 Needs That Motivate You And How You Get Stuck

Coping skills and Psychological Defenses - An Introduction

Big Egos vs. Strong Egos: How To Spot A Weak One

Why You’re Patient With Everyone Except the People at Home

Why You Snap at Small Things (It’s Not Your Fault)

Self-Esteem: How It Changes And 2 Ways to Boost It

Why You Can't Stop Worrying About the Future

Want a Stronger Mind? Start With These 3 Micro Habits

How To Visualize Your Success: Mental Rehearsal To Build Resilience

Mental Debugging: How to Build Resilience After Failure

A Psychiatrist Explains "Quiet Cracking" (While Your Work Still Looks Fine)

Why Knowing Better Doesn’t Help in the Moment

Why You Still Feel Drained After Taking Time Off

How To Build a Strong Mind: New Focus on Resilience

Why You're Exhausted After Meetings (Even If You Didn't Speak)

Why You Can't Focus: Is It ADHD or Just Stress?

The Science of How Your Brain Forms Habits (and How to Take Control)

Which Exercise Actually Wins for Brain Health?

Setbacks vs. Failure: Why Your Brain Gets Trapped in Negative Loops

Why Do We Stay in Relationships That Hurt Us?

Fawning: The Survival Strategy That Turns Into Self-Abandonment | Fawning #2

its time to have a conversation with them

SIGNS you're in a situationship with a narcissist

3 Hard Truths About Finding the Right Person

6 Signs You're Depressed, Not Lazy

Dr. K Explains: Borderline Personality Disorder

Understanding EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT: the key to resilience

The Dating Rules Manipulators Hope You Ignore

Are We Rejecting Them Because They’re Wrong—or Because We’re Unwell?

אוצר מילים והערות הגייה לשיעור הזה

אוצר מילים מרכזי בסרטון הזה

Phrasal verbs שתשמעו

משפטים שכדאי לחזור עליהם

דקדוק בסרטון הזה

הגייה ששווה לשים לב אליה

איך לתרגל עם הסרטון הזה

מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?