Практика Shadowing: Chemistry Is a SCAM, Stop Getting Attached - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

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Hi guys!

So, before we get into today's topic, I want to talk about something that I'm so excited about.

I've been working on this for so long.

This has been so, so highly requested.

I'm finally offering one -on -one coaching.

I don't want to call myself a coach per se.

Think of me as your online best friend.

I feel like I'm at a point in life where I feel really confident in my advice

and I feel very capable to help people with confidence and breakups and just navigating certain life things.

I mean, I just moved overseas by myself.

I feel very independent in this era of my life.

Also, if you scroll down on the website, I have a pep talk pack.

It's a small one -time purchase and you get a guided meditation by me,

a few episodes, and some journal prompts that I worked really hard on.

So if you guys are interested, go and check that out.

I love this little pep talk pack and I think you will too.

So yeah, I'm so excited.

My website is officially up.

It's advicewithluma .com.

So I'm doing like one -off sessions or like a four -week program

if you wanted to work with me every single week.

All of the details would be on the website and that'll be linked in the description.

Without further ado, let's get into the video.

My friend has a car rental company here, Sydney Exotic Car Hire.

I just wanted to plug that really quickly.

I just really love the cars that he gives me to drive and I'm very grateful.

He's such a great friend of mine.

So yeah, if you guys are ever in Sydney, you should definitely check them out.

Today's pep talk is about when chemistry is real but the commitment isn't.

I feel like social media can make us have really insane expectations from men i know i know

that sounds crazy from somebody that's always preaching like a certain standard

and that men should come correct and rah rah all

that stuff yes i do believe in all of that

but i also think

that social media does almost encourage us as women to have really insane expectations

i'm not spreading this narrative of like oh

if he doesn't pay for your rent first date throw him in the bin no i'm not saying any of

that the number one thing that I want to preach on here is

that in the beginning stages when a man is trying to become your boyfriend or impress you,

you know, they're really supposed to put their best foot forward.

If you're not even receiving basic commitment, then planning dates, then planning to see you, whatever, then what are we actually doing here?

You are getting dog walked.

I truly think a lot of women will fold

and bend over backwards for a man just based off of words and I hate that,

okay, because it really is all about the actions. In saying

that, I did want to preface at the start this video i don't personally have these ridiculous standards

that a man is supposed to pay for all this

and do all of

that like of course i want those things me personally like i'm not going to date some loser

that wants to split everything with me like i'm just not interested in that because

when i'm with my friends i swear

i become like a masked lesbian like i am paying for everything i just really love to do

that i love to look after people so in turn i want

that from a man okay because i know i can give it out and

so i want it i know what kind of woman

i am i know what I can offer I can really like build a man actually like around

and find out I can genuinely like help you with your business I can help you elevate

and grow I always say like I don't really cook like

that like I'm not gonna be out here chefing it up for a man

if you are love that for you

so much honestly I'm not passionate about cooking

but what I will do is around

and change your life okay

you're gonna be living in a beautiful house with me the energy is gonna be tea

you're gonna be spiritually in check okay your finances will be good

if they were good they're gonna be even better

because i know business i know what i have to offer

so i'm not gonna bend over and fold for some absolute loser

but in saying

that i did want to start off in preface there's a lot of like really insane you know expectations

and stuff being spread around on the internet i'm not here for

that what i'm here for though what i'm really strict on

and we run a strict program out here is actions over

words every day any day every second of the day

so let's get into that sometimes on tiktok i get comments

and it's usually from men and i just laugh at those comments

because they're like mad at what i'm spreading they're like oh

this advice is just you know like they're mad about it

and it's like i go into their profiles

and i just think you're just mad because i'm making it harder for you

because your lazy attempts to just bark your way into this woman's pants i'm making it harder for you

because the barking needs to stop i don't care

i don't care about the words you can say whatever you want you could come into my life

and make all of these claims about how you want to be together how you want to step up

you want to be my man you want to make my life better how show me how

because if you can't show me how like your word means to me actually situationships can really hurt

so much even more so than an actual relationship sometimes

because you have a lack of information your brain is

so creative we're so creative and we have such wild imaginations

that we will fill in the blanks for things

that we don't have

so for example like you don't have the feeling of this stable healthy happy relationship with this person

so you're going to convince yourself

that it actually could have been amazing i mean that's the whole thing right that's why it hurts

so much and so walking away can be especially difficult

when walking away from a situationship or you know just a short relationship

or a relationship that was full of so many highs

and all this chemistry especially

when somebody hasn't specifically mistreated you this video isn't really necessarily about you know going through a breakup

100

or moving on from somebody

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that you were in a long -term relationship with it's actually about those short

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and sweet situations where the person hasn't necessarily mistreated you, they haven't really betrayed you, maybe.

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They're not an obvious villain, but you still don't have the dynamic or the relationship or maybe the respect that you want and that you deserve.

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Like I said, there might not be one specific terrible thing that you can point to, but your intuition will never lie.

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And we always mistaken the butterflies for cardiac arrest.

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You might find yourself thinking, oh my God, he was such a good guy.

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We had such great chemistry.

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I'm

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so attracted to him obviously it would be amazing to be in a relationship together no

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that's not true you can have amazing chemistry

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and this can still be a man

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that doesn't want to commit to you is afraid to commit to you has commitment issues

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and because there is this thing called the sunk cost fallacy

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which is basically the irrational habit of keeping an investment

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so example you're at the casino you've been sitting on the table for a

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while and you're losing money and because you've already spent time money

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and energy on this thing it's really hard to walk away especially

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when you're down you haven't seen a return on your investment we keep tricking ourselves into believing

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that you know at some point i'm gonna get everything

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that i want out of this situation

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and that's completely wrong you cannot make a mutual relationship happen by yourself

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and walking away does not mean that you didn't care enough it doesn't mean

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that you gave up too easily and it doesn't mean

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that you're afraid of love it's actually the opposite you know what you want i I mean, life is too short.

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I'm not gonna sit around here feeling anxious

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and feeling this cardiac arrest feeling in my soul that this man is not the right person for me, that he's playing me.

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Our relationship requires both people to choose it and you cannot choose it by yourself, honey.

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I truly believe that the hardest relationships to walk away from are the relationships that feel so good in many ways,

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but still leave an important need unmet.

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Like something is not quite right.

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And that's really difficult because some of us really struggle to trust our gut feelings and intuition.

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What I will say is this is something you really need to work on because look, I'm not perfect.

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I definitely ruminate and I make mistakes and I give people chances

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that they maybe don't deserve sometimes and I'm not going to sit here online and preach things and be like,

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I'm giving you this advice because I'm perfect and you should listen to it.

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No, I'm giving you this advice because I've learned from my mistakes

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and so I don't want you to make the same mistakes

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but one thing I will say

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if I'm going to give myself any credit is i really trust my intuition like you've never seen before

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and i was in a situation recently where something was making

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me feel a little bit anxious like i just didn't really have a good feeling about it it's

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so crazy because i said to my friend i was like oh i really want this situation to work

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but i don't feel good about it and i trust my intuition

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so i was like damn that sucks because that means

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that something's wrong that's how much i trust my intuition it's like

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if i'm feeling this way something is not right i'm not being reassured in the way

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that i deserve to be reassured you know what I mean you don't have to be heartbroken disrespected

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or completely miserable before you give yourself permission to walk away from something like for me personally

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this situation was just making me feel a bit anxious

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and I'm not saying like go

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and give up on something the second you're feeling anxious

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but like okay

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when you're speaking to a guy in the beginning stages

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you shouldn't feel anxious you should feel like I know

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I feel safe here this person isn't just going to leave me in the dark

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they're not gonna play games like you should feel safe and if you don't feel safe.

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It is completely f*ing simple.

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That is not the right person for you.

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Point blank period.

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Trust it.

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Don't play games with yourself.

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Don't try and barter with yourself.

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I feel like a lot of women will stay in a situation, a lot of people not just women,

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not only because of the sunk cost fallacy like I said before.

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They might subconsciously believe that this person should be intentionally hurting you for the situation to be disappointing enough to leave.

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Unfortunately two people can like each other and still want different things.

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One may be ready to build a relationship

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and the other one might be afraid of commitment

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or they want to date without the commitment you know what

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that is totally fine and fair i'm not saying like if somebody doesn't want to be in a relationship

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um they're an evil villain and death to them i mean unless

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that person is like dealing with me then yes death to you no

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but being serious like

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that doesn't make this person a bad person it's just like have some self -respect

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and be able to walk away from a person

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that doesn't want the same thing as you

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because what are we doing here

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it is a complete waste of your time okay of course

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this man wants you to talk to him every day wants

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to be with you wants to have access to you you're a beautiful girl

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you're one of one i don't care how many baddies

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there are on the internet i really don't give a shit like truly i'm personally not settling for a guy

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that doesn't want full commitment with me like that's not what i'm interested in i am attracted to a man

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that is like actually almost obsessed with me like i can't even think

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I think without having you like i need you kind of thing

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you know what i mean like otherwise i'm not interested i'm flicking

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that off i'm the type of woman you guys

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i'm gonna let you guys in on something

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i am a little bit crazy okay like crazy in like

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a fun way like i'm not really gonna go through a man's phone purely

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because i just feel like that's literally losing aura points

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and i trust my intuition so i will find shit out like

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if a man's cheating on me sooner

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or later i'm gonna find out for sure

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i don't have to go through your phone anyway my point to say

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this is i know the caliber of woman that I am okay

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so I'm not going to settle for a man

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that wants access to me because he thinks I'm pretty and

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because I'm fun to speak to

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and you know just like wants to keep me

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there just as it like just in case like an option

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there are other girls who will be okay with this treatment

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or who will bend and fold for a man

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because he's good -looking because he's tall because he's rich

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because whatever he has status I don't care it's never gonna be me

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because there is always gonna be somebody else out there

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that is good looking that is tall that is rich

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that is whatever I will not bend over backwards for any treatment

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that is anything other than a guy that is obsessed with me

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and this is where I feel like my ego works with me in a good way

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sometimes our egos work against us for sure maybe more so

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but then there is that sweet spot you know where your ego kicks in

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and is like no honey like this man is just not it like you need to go

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and find better you need to go focus on yourself make

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your own money go travel like the universe is abundant

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and there's just too much to experience and to enjoy

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so i'm not going to sit around here like feeling upset over a man

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that doesn't want to commit to me i mean that's ew

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that's ugly it's one thing to know what you deserve

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when you're not emotionally invested into something

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but it's another thing to honor what you want

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when you are emotionally invested and

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when you are attracted to somebody who is not offering

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it I can be emotional I will be upset over things

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if I like somebody of course but I'm always going to honor my boundaries

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and I have a really good self -concept

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and I know I'll be okay I have amazing friends I have a good life truly

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and yeah like I would rather just like sit in silence for a little bit be in a little rut

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and come out of it

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and just be laughing making jokes with my friends be like remember

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that guy remember that guy

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and then like you know maybe

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i meet somebody even richer who buys me a yacht one day i don't know i don't know

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but i'm sure as shit not gonna get

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that yacht sitting around here like going back and forth with a man

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that wants to keep me as his like situationship whatever

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that man's never gonna come correct for me

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if i keep going back like he needs to feel my absence he needs to figure out the out

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and come back to me

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when he's serious what do i look like asking him about

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other girls asking him what are we that's crazy by the way what are we

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so what are we you need to want to be my boyfriend

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and that's it period i'm ending the video here

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i start yelling the car starts shaking no like what like

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what is happening like actually what is happening listen girls they need to ask you to be together hello like

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when i meet girls

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and they're like oh we never really had the conversation what do you mean

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you should be sweating there should be beads of sweat down your forehead

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because you cannot live another day without making me your girlfriend why is anything else happening other than

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that so don't you dare ask yourself what you might need to do

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or what you could do for him to want to step up

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and play that role i'm going to say something

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and this is going to be a really tough pill to swallow

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but a lot of us women will make a man's decision

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not to commit to us about our appearance our personality our lovability oh my God, whatever.

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It's the worst thing.

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It'll really have you feeling like you have maggots in your brain.

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We begin to tell ourselves that if we are more understanding, if we're more patient, if we offer them more,

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whatever, if we show them that we're the perfect girl, we might eventually earn his commitment.

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And that is wrong.

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I don't encourage you to play games, but if you really like someone and you really want them to want you,

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all you have to do is pull back

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and let him do the heavy lifting men used to go to war I know

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that this is said all the time but let me use that

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and just explain something let me paint the picture

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they used to go to war they like to solve problems

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they do amazing things what did Elon Musk just do he just made a car fly

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so you're telling me that this man cannot figure out in his own time

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that maybe he fumbled you

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and he needs to come correct girl bye why are you doing all the heavy lifting

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because I feel like it would make sense for you to date girls

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because like i think you'd be a really good boyfriend

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so why are you doing this i feel like sometimes we overanalyze the man instead of the actual relationship

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because a man can be really good looking really funny really smart you know a husband material he'd be somebody

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that you have a lot of chemistry with someone

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that you genuinely really enjoy being with you can meet a man with wonderful qualities

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and still not have a relationship that fulfills you you should be feeling safe

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and chosen and really excited and happy and

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and just good really good a lot of the time in a new relationship especially and

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if you're feeling this yearning you know

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this feeling of like oh my god at any moment he could just ghost me

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and leave me and ignore me or go dry on me

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or choose someone else or whatever that's toxic it's actually quite a toxic situation

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that you have yourself in let me ask you a very real question are you currently really enjoying this relationship

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or are you tolerating certain things because you believe that there is potential for a relationship that you actually want?

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Sometimes we're not choosing a situation for what it actually is.

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We are choosing a situation based on the potential of what it could be.

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You hear me?

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Here's something reassuring.

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You don't have to assume that he'll never be ready.

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You don't have to assume that he'll never want to be your boyfriend

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or want to come correct for you or that he'll never change his mind.

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But you do have to make decisions based on today like right

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now what is happening right now what are the actions showing

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you right now walk away let the man chase you like

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if he actually wants you if he actually wants to be your boyfriend

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if he really sees the value in you if he sees

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that you make him happy that you are a beautiful independent smart woman somebody

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that he cannot come by again he needs to be able to put his pride to the side

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and really chase you that is the role that is what they do

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and i can sit here and receive and not just like receive

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and nothing like i'm a good girlfriend i'm fun i'm fun i'm

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so much fun i'm a happy person i have amazing friends

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i travel like like i said i know what i offer

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so it's not just about receiving

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but it's like i am not doing the heavy lifting i am letting a man chase me

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and if he doesn't want to chase me

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if he has such a big ego

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that he genuinely like can't put it to the side then that's not a man

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that i want because if this is the beginning stages

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and you're acting like this what is it going to be

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like in a relationship with you am i going to discover halfway through

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that i am a lesbian i'm speaking a lot about lesbians i love the lesbian community

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but i'm saying like i might be one of you guys

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because i can be out here doing the heavy lifting

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and it needs to stop it needs to stop we need to collectively just stop

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so yeah just remember his inability

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or unwillingness to commit to you is not a verdict on your worth

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and you can like a person and still walk away.

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In fact, walking away gives you a higher chance of actually hearing from this man again, actually receiving what you want.

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If there's going to be any chance of that happening, I'm not saying 100 % that's going to happen.

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He may ghost you and never come back.

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You'll be okay anyway.

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But like I'm saying, if there is any chance of him actually being the right person and actually stepping up,

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it is not going to be through you doing the most, trying to prove to him

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that you are worthy of being chosen

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it is going to be through you completely backing up completely

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the backing up disappearing living your life not just to be performative actually living it actually feeling happy

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and moving on and letting him figure out what he wants to do sit around in his pride

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and date girls that are nowhere near you

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but shit like easier for him

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if that's what he wants then let him have it okay let him go find less

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and you find more if that's what he wants

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but yeah let's stop trying to decode men's feelings i hope

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that this video made you feel good and helped you with your self -concept

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and maybe helped you realize that you know you deserve amazing beautiful things

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and don't forget i am offering coaching now i don't know how long

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i'm going to be doing this for i don't know how it's going to go

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so yeah you know like give it a go

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if you guys want to speak to me go check out my website i'm

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so excited about that

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and i will see you in my next video um by the way

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i got new tattoos guys i got little like finger tats i have a red one here

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so fun okay i gotta go i've been filming for a

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while and i'm parked somewhere i shouldn't be but i will see you guys in my next video bye

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Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку

Этот урок разговорной практики построен на видео «Chemistry Is a SCAM, Stop Getting Attached». В этом видео 345 предложений и 4105 слов для шедоуинга. Речь длится 18:59. Говорящий говорит быстро, около 216 слов в минуту, поэтому звуки часто сливаются и сокращаются. 86% слов входят в 3000 самых частых слов английского языка; остальные стоит разобрать перед занятием.

Ключевая лексика этого видео

15 слов из видео, которые стоит выучить, с произношением и значением:

Слово	Произношение	Значение
commitment существительное	/kəˈmɪtmənt/	обяза́тельство, обеща́ние
intuition существительное	/ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/	предчу́вствие, интуи́ция
chemistry существительное	/ˈkɛm.ɪ.stɹi/	хи́мия
commit глагол	/kəˈmɪt/	вверя́ть
anxious прилагательное	/ˈæŋkʃəs/	озабо́ченный, беспоко́ящийся
chase глагол	/t͡ʃeɪs/	гоня́ть, погоня́ть
lesbian существительное	/ˈlɛz.bi.ən/	лесбия́нка, ле́сби
bend глагол	/bɛnd/	сгиба́ть, изгиба́ть
insane прилагательное	/ɪnˈseɪn/	душевнобольно́й, невменя́емый
attract глагол	/əˈtɹækt/	притя́гивать, притяну́ть
fold глагол	/ˈfəʊld/	перегиба́ть, перегну́ть
expectation существительное	/ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/	ожида́ние
preach глагол	/pɹit͡ʃ/	пропове́довать
necessarily наречие	/ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/	обяза́тельно
encourage глагол	/ɪnˈkʌɹ.ɪd͡ʒ/	ободря́ть, обо́дрить

Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите

Слово	Значение
step up глагол	нарастить, поднажать
back up глагол	дава́ть за́дний ход
figure out глагол	разбира́ться, разобра́ться
go back глагол	возвраща́ться, возврати́ться
check out глагол	проверя́ть, прове́рить
come back глагол	возвраща́ться, возврати́ться
find out глагол	узнава́ть, узна́ть
give up глагол	сдава́ться, сда́ться

Фразы, которые стоит повторять

Короткие законченные фразы из видео, которые пригодятся в повседневном разговоре:

I've been working on this for so long.
I'm finally offering one -on -one coaching.
Without further ado, let's get into the video.

Грамматика в этом видео

Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:

Конструкция	В видео
Present Perfect Continuous have/has been + -ing — действие началось раньше и продолжается	I've been working · you've been sitting · i've been filming
«Used to» used to + глагол — прошлая привычка или состояние, которых больше нет	used to go
Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает	be linked · being spread · being reassured
Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас	has been · hasn't specifically mistreated · hasn't necessarily mistreated

Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание

Говорящий использует 175 сокращённых и редуцированных форм, например I'm, don't, you're. Произносите их коротко, так, как слышите.

Звуки «sh» и «zh»: intuition /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, shake /ˈʃeɪk/
Длинные слова — следите за ударением: intuition /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/

Звуки, трудные для русскоязычных:

/w/ — губы округлены, это не /v/: sweat /swɛt/, backward /ˈbækwɚd/, nowhere /ˈnoʊ.(h)wɛɹ/, worthy /ˈwɝ.ði/, halfway /ˌhæfˈweɪ/
/h/ — лёгкий выдох, а не русское «х»: honey /ˈhʌni/, nowhere /ˈnoʊ.(h)wɛɹ/, habit /ˈhæb.ɪt/, halfway /ˌhæfˈweɪ/, forehead /ˈfɔɹ.hɛd/
Звонкие согласные в конце слова — не оглушайте их: bend /bɛnd/, fold /ˈfəʊld/, encourage /ɪnˈkʌɹ.ɪd͡ʒ/, backward /ˈbækwɚd/, solve /sɒlv/

Как заниматься с этим видео

Прослушайте всё видео один раз молча и выпишите незнакомые слова.
Начните со скорости 0,75×, повторяйте предложение за предложением и вернитесь к обычной скорости, когда станет легко.
Запишите себя и сравните с оригиналом, обращая внимание на такие слова, как commitment, intuition, chemistry.

Что такое техника Shadowing?

Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.

Техника шедоуинга: читать полное пошаговое руководство →

Практика Shadowing: Chemistry Is a SCAM, Stop Getting Attached - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

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