We do some very nice modern fittings.

Clean lines, minimalist.

Yeah, we do want the bathroom to look very modern, but also very traditional.

Right, it is quite difficult to marry those very disparate styles.

Well, that's the look that we want.

I understand that.

I'm just not sure that it's a look that actually physically exists in the world.

You're looking for classic meets modern, yeah?

Yeah, that's right.

So, clawfoot bath with thin-lined cistern.

Fancy taps, but rainforest showerhead.

Exactly.

Can do, sir.

Can do!

And will do.

Sorry, Hans, this is my customer.

You can't just take my customer.

Yeah, I can, Mark, for two reasons.

One, he wants me to, don't you, mate?

Yes, please.

Fuck you, Dr.

Frankenbath.

And two, as of this morning, I'm your boss.

Grab us a large latte and a pan of raisin, would you, Mark?

Come on, fate.

This can't be right.

Don't fist me again fate Robert just Henna mark is super hands my boss now have you just promoted him well it depends a define boss in the normal way then yes he is super hands has become my boss this is insane Sean Ryder responsible for setting the libel rate your lunch couscous salad Dobby makes a big batch at the start of the week.

She puts little notes in it too.

Grains for your brains, that sort of thing.

Because I heart you.

That's today's.

Salad's fucking grim though.

I close my eyes, shove it in as fast as I can, open them and they're still the same amount.

Listen Mark, I'm sorry about earlier but I am going to have to be on your case pretty much permanently from now on.

Belittling you if needs be.

No hard feelings though, yeah?

In a way I'm pleased.

It's made me finally decide to do something.

There's still plenty to live for, mate.

You've got a kid.

Not suicide.

I'm not suicidal.

No?

No.

I'm finally going to do an MBA at evening class.

Maybe get a business of my own going.

That's us both moving up.

Since I've got prospects, I want to find the perfect partner.

See, I've been lucky enough to have shared relationships with some very creative, volatile, very intense women, but now I really want a normal one.

Hi.

I hear about the ballet shoes.

The ballet shoes?

Is she going to mention Jesus?

Sorry, have I got the right flats?

Sarah, yeah?

Come for the ballet shoes?

Yeah.

Just a minute.

I've worked out how to make the perfect woman, Mark.

Advertise on Freecycle.

Sort out the right combination of free stuff and you can engineer who comes round.

So if they want ballet shoes?

They'll have a conventional nature but with an adventurous love of the arts.

Perfect.

Plus, limber, if you receive me.

Where did you get ballet shoes?

From a dancewear boutique.

It cost me a fair bit, but it's an investment.

And why are you using my flat, exactly?

My place has got a bit of a men's hostel vibe.

It's a bit rank, a little bit seamany.

Hello again.

So, as new, my sister bought them and then just went right off ballet, got into bowling, different shoes.

And this is the Squarepusher CD.

Oh, can I just take the shoes?

The advert did say they go together.

Shoes, CD.

and this speed goes with it.

It's a package.

Right.

I don't want the CD or the speed, thanks.

Then I can't give you the shoes, love.

Sorry.

Bye.

She obviously wasn't right, Mark.

Might have to finesse the formula.

Do you want to buy some ballet shoes, do you, mate?

How much?

We'll see you next time.