Shadowing Practice: Why You Should Get Married Now - Learn English Speaking with Video
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One of the things about our world that would most surprise a magically returned,
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pre-modern ancestor of ours is how long we take to assess and settle on a spouse.
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In almost all societies that have ever existed,
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the period between first laying eyes on a prospective partner and the moment of committing to them was extremely short.
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In Sumeria, there was a single audience.
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In classical Athens, young men and women might meet three times before arrangements were settled.
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In the Inca Empire, one might never even have been in the spouse's presence until the wedding.
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Contrast this with our own setup.
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We move extremely slowly.
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It's typical to date someone non-exclusively for six months, then to commit to seeing them singly for a year and a half,
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then perhaps to move in and further test the waters for four or five years, before either finally getting engaged or else discovering that,
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after all, one wasn't quite suited, perhaps because of slightly different attitudes around politics or some clashes over interior design or entertainment preferences.
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At the heart of the dispute between the pre-modern attitude
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and ours is a contrasting notion of what is required to make a relationship succeed.
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We implicitly believe it's about compatibility.
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They firmly believed it was about commitment.
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Underpinning our modern romantic approach to love is a tightly held notion
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that the most important ingredient in any functioning relationship is innate congruence,
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a pre-existing sympathy of souls that will lend us a feeling that we've met someone before, perhaps in a past life.
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We believe we will need to encounter a lot of people and try them out over extended periods because this,
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and only this, will help us to see whether we've correctly alighted on a soul mate.
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It can take 180 breakfasts with someone to assess if we really have a sympathetic communication style.
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We might need 23 mini-breaks to properly judge a person's approach to packing and timekeeping.
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Only after sleeping with 76 different individuals might one determine whether we're fully satisfied with sex with a particular example.
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Our ancestors begged to differ.
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They believed that alignments were to be formed, not found.
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What was, for them, principally important for the success of any relationship was the desire to make it succeed.
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Commitment came first, any in-built compatibility a distant second.
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It almost didn't matter who one married.
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The choice was somewhat secondary to the desire to be married.
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So long as the rough details were correct – right gender, age and so on – the rest could and would be sorted out in time, through willpower and dedication.
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Intention, far more than any innate and possibly fictitious twinship of the soul, would mean that after an argument,
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partners would come back together to resume their dialogue, or that they would put aside certain of their spontaneous wishes for the sake of the couple,
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or would make effort after effort to grasp how the world might look through the other's eyes.
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In the ancestral view, compatibility was an achievement of love.
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It was not, and could never be its precondition.
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We don't have to follow historical precedents in every detail to be at least partially inspired by them.
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We can recognise that a wish to actually be married
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might in the end be one of the determining factors in how successful any marriage can be.
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So long as we and our partner are aligned on this point, the many differences that will naturally emerge between us may not have to be insuperable.
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In the pre-modern expectation that trouble is natural and legitimate, we discover a more bearable method of interpreting discord.
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Working at differences is what constitutes a relationship.
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It may not need to be seen as a stern obstacle that has to be overcome before one can ever take place.
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Everyone we meet will be slightly wrong.
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Our ancestors knew this better than we do.
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Everyone will fail to understand us intuitively.
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Everyone will have a range of very unfortunate tastes.
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None of this has to be remotely fatal.
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We don't need to be the same person separated at birth.
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We don't need to be in spiritual synchronicity.
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All we really need is to want, very, very much, to be together with someone.
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The rest are almost details.
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It might not, with this in mind, after all be so crazy to go on three dates with someone and then, without too much fanfare, set in motion plans for marriage.
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Once we understand that it's the idea of commitment that counts, the details can be managed.
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We may have exaggerated the importance of finding the right person,
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and very much underestimated the power of wanting to make a relationship, any relationship, work.
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze spreekles op niveau C2 is gebaseerd op de video “Why You Should Get Married Now”. Deze woorden komen het vaakst terug: relationship, detail, pre, modern, ancestor. Deze video bevat 56 zinnen en 793 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 5:12. De spreker praat in een natuurlijk tempo van ongeveer 152 woorden per minuut, dicht bij een alledaags gesprek. 82% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden; de rest kun je beter vooraf bekijken.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
De 15 moeilijkste woorden uit de video, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| ancestor zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈæn.sɛs.tɚ/ | voorouder |
| compatibility zelfstandig naamwoord | /kəmˌpætəˈbɪlɪti/ | compatibiliteit, overeenstemming |
| innate bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ɪˈneɪt/ | aangeboren |
| assess werkwoord | /əˈsɛs/ | beoordelen, evalueren |
| alight werkwoord | /əˈlaɪt/ | afstappen, uitstappen |
| bearable bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈbɛəɹəbəɫ/ | draaglijk |
| discord zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈdɪskɔɹd/ | onenigheid |
| exaggerate werkwoord | /ɛɡˈzæd͡ʒ.ə.ɹeɪt/ | overdrijven |
| fanfare zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈfænfɛə/ | fanfare |
| fictitious bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /fɪkˈtɪʃəs/ | fictief |
| insuperable bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ɪnˈsup(ə)ɹəb(ə)l/ | onoverkomelijk |
| precondition zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈpɹiːkənˌdɪʃən/ | voorwaarde |
| synchronicity zelfstandig naamwoord | synchroniciteit | |
| underpin werkwoord | /ˌʌn.dəˈpɪn/ | funderen, schragen |
| willpower zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈwɪlˌpaʊɚ/ | wilskracht |
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
| Woord | Betekenis |
|---|---|
| come back werkwoord | terugkomen |
| put aside werkwoord | opzijleggen |
Grammatica in deze video
De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:
| Structuur | In de video |
|---|---|
| Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet | were settled · is required · be formed |
| Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt | have ever existed · have been · we've met |
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 8 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals don't, we've, didn't. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De “th”-klanken: sympathetic /ˌsɪm.pəˈθɛt.ɪk/, sympathy /ˈsɪm.pəθ.i/
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: fictitious /fɪkˈtɪʃəs/, precondition /ˈpɹiːkənˌdɪʃən/, dedication /ˌdɛdɪˈkeɪʃən/, clash /ˈklæʃ/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: compatibility /kəmˌpætəˈbɪlɪti/, ancestral /ænˈsɛs.təɹ.əl/, exaggerate /ɛɡˈzæd͡ʒ.ə.ɹeɪt/, insuperable /ɪnˈsup(ə)ɹəb(ə)l/, precondition /ˈpɹiːkənˌdɪʃən/
Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:
- Stemhebbende eindmedeklinker — /b/, /d/, /g/, /z/, /v/ niet verscherpen: discord /ˈdɪskɔɹd/, prospective /pɹəˈspɛktɪv/, emerge /ɪˈmɝd͡ʒ/, lend /ˈlɛnd/
- /æ/ — opener dan de Nederlandse “e”: ancestor /ˈæn.sɛs.tɚ/, compatibility /kəmˌpætəˈbɪlɪti/, ancestral /ænˈsɛs.təɹ.əl/, exaggerate /ɛɡˈzæd͡ʒ.ə.ɹeɪt/, fanfare /ˈfænfɛə/
- /g/ — een harde plofklank, geen Nederlandse “g”: congruence /ˈkɑŋ.ɡɹu.əns/, exaggerate /ɛɡˈzæd͡ʒ.ə.ɹeɪt/, singly /ˈsɪŋ.ɡli/, ingredient /ɪnˈɡɹiːdi.ənt/, grasp /ɡɹæsp/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als ancestor, compatibility, innate.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.