Shadowing Practice: Why Watching Porn Ruins Your Brain (and how to reverse it) - Learn English Speaking with Video
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I love this one, particularly for porn addiction, use porn anytime you want, be aware of the porn,
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but your job is to make sure that the porn
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that you use is always more enjoyable than the last time you use porn.
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You have to figure out a way to make porn super enjoyable, like, like whatever you have to do,
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like candles, whatever you got to do to like make porn more and more enjoyable.
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I didn't mean like quick pleasure i mean like you're really savoring feeling the pleasure
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you can do the same thing with potato chips
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if someone actually does that it like disrupts bad habits unbelievably quickly on the surface what
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that sounds like is you uh speed running the hedonic treadmill and uh
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that oh well this is going to make the the habit
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even more alluring even more addictive even even more uh self -reinforcing why is
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that not the case why does it do something else yeah
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so most of the time the person who's doing it is trying to escape an emotional experience.
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So I'm going to use porn so I don't have to think about something, not have to be in pain,
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not have to, so I can cure my anxiety in that moment, in that second.
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This is bringing such a deep amount of presence to it.
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To actually enjoy it, you actually have to have presence.
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And then you start to find out is that the enjoyment is far better than what porn was giving you.
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There's a neuroscience version.
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Please.
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So I think, so when he says, enjoy porn, notice what he also says.
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Don't tug one out, bro.
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Yeah.
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Right?
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So this is what I think is really interesting.
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A lot of people don't realize pleasure and contentment are inversely related.
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Okay?
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So the more pleasure you have in your life, the less content you'll be.
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And this is down to the neuroscience level so dopamine
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and serotonin are like this is rough but if you guys want to get complicated we can
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dopamine and serotonin are like inversely related so
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if you look at someone who has a highly dopaminergic life like the person i wanted to be right
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so a lot of sex a lot of affairs pointing at you not me
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i'm just saying a lot of a lot of or as much anal as you can handle
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just have anal sex bro
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just say yes to anal that's gonna be i have i have practical teachings too i have practical teachings too
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so so so so literally like if you
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if you live a dopaminergic lifestyle you will be your serotonin levels will drop
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and so you'll become discontent and then you chase dopamine
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so dopamine is a substitute for serotonin and then what we find is
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that as people become more content their draw for dopamine decreases on average would you say
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that more people have a dopamine problem than a serotonin problem they're using
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that they're chasing after that whereas
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if they were more in i always think about dopamine chris serotonin chris
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and cortisol chris like dopamine chris is achieving things
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and making new 24 -hour play records on the channel serotonin chris is uh relaxing in a hammock
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and cortisol chris is arguing about something over email what's the word
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you're using chris chris himself chris oh oh okay
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i was like oh i was gonna say oxytocin chris oxytocin chris yeah scared
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that it's gonna go away anal sex that's all three
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i'm sorry for opening that door serotonin problem more people in dopamine
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so so i'd say that you can't have one problem without the other right
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so the whole point is that they're related so
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if you have a dopaminergic that's a problem
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if you live a dopaminergic lifestyle your serotonin by definition is going to be low
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and if you look at these yogis in the himalayas they're i mean we no one's doing
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interest not even intracellular intercellular measurements of dopamine
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and serotonin between neurons like no one's like doing brain biopsies to measure that stuff so this is basically functional neuroscience.
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But if you look at like a yogi, a yogi is content.
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And so they can still engage in pleasure.
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But that contentment is also enters the endocannabinoids circuitry.
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But if you think about your piece, right, if I am fundamentally content,
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and I think this is what I'd love to get to the methodology of that bifurcation that you were talking about,
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because I think this is what Connor's talking about, is like, if you are confident in yourself, if you're relationally connected, the fuel that dopamine,
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the problems that dopamine solves actually disappear.
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And I think that's what he's talking about as well, which is like, if you don't tug one out,
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which by the way, is the hard part if you're addicted, right?
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Especially if you're watching pulling the candles on.
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Right.
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There comes a time where I just get outgunned in these conversations.
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It's like, I don't even know.
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How many of them want to have that?
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And so I think one day I'll be strong enough.
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One day.
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One day.
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So we get to this point where what I really like about that exercise, it's a shift to serotonin.
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It's a shift.
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This is exactly the potato chip exercise.
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When you start to settle in awareness, when you become aware of something, the bite of it like literally decreases.
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And there's some fascinating neuroscience about this where like, I don't know if this kind of makes sense, but you know, if I,
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you know, the difference between people who dance and people who don't know how to dance.
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Confidence.
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Once that is traumatized.
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So, so I think one, one group tries to do it and one group doesn't try to do it.
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Does that make sense?
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Yeah, I get what you're saying.
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Right?
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So something really interesting happens.
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So if I were to like give you guys like something to eat and I tell you consciously control every movement,
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you would not be able to chew.
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If I tell you consciously, okay, contract the calf, now lift, now extend the foot, now put it down.
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So anytime you become aware of something, something really interesting happens.
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It's the anterior cingulate cortex.
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Once that turns on and you become aware of something, the automaticity of the brain turns off, right?
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So I think this serotonergic circuit is really, I mean, it's fascinating, but like the more aware you become, things just lose their power.
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Like the power that emotions have over you, if you really lean into the emotion and you feel that emotion, that reckoning of pain, right?
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Like when, when you actually face that reckoning, when you face the music, the strength that it has to control you actually goes away.
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That's cool.
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You create a pattern interrupt, right?
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Like when you think about the porn example, somebody's feeling something, they're anxious, they're angry, they're bored, they're lonely.
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They don't want to feel that way.
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Their brain has created a, uh, cause our brains are largely pattern recognition machines
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and they're looking for patterns to largely keep us safe and
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so for a lot of guys they're watching porn they're re -watching porn
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because they feel a certain way that they don't want to feel
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and their brain has learned oh and i feel this
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when this emotion pops up in my body i go jerk off
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and that cycle plays out
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and they have a very specific cycle there's a cycle of how they do it
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and when they do it and
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and how they're feeling before there's like there's a whole yeah there's a whole cycle
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that plays out and then they always feel a specific way after
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which is usually shame regret you know
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it's like what's the post not regret right it's like what the was i just watching um
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and so what joe's talking about is creating
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a different type of confrontation or a type of confrontation that creates a different pattern
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that starts to slow things down
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and accentuate from a place of like okay what am i
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actually feeling what i've given to guys is set a timer go sit down go breathe
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and feel into what you're feeling and i called it the fire meditation
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and it's like okay you're feeling something in that moment
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that you're running from yeah
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and you don't want to feel it you're feeling anger you're feeling loneliness you're feeling whatever it is
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and you are avoiding it and
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so let's move towards it right jung talked about uh carl jung talked about like
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when you are facing a monster in a dream the worst thing you can do is run from it
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and but this is what we do when we have habits
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or behaviors or choices that we largely don't want to deal with
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or emotions that we don't want deal with we run from them
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and so what what i'll often do with men is let's turn towards it
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so he says when there's a monster in a dream the first thing
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that you need to do is you need to turn towards it
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and you need to turn towards the thing
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that you're afraid of you don't want to feel you don't want to experience
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because not always but sometimes it'll start to dissipate you can start to build a relationship with it
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and instead of oh i feel this way i don't want to feel
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this way it's oh i feel this way
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and i'm starting to build tolerance for it i'm actually still okay even though i'm feeling this way and that
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that oftentimes is a byproduct of a family system a nervous
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system within a family system where somebody just didn't learn how to deal with heart emotions right
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they didn't learn how to deal with anger or anxiousness
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or whatever it is And so they've adopted all of these methods to deal with internal states that they don't like.
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Like a lot of dysfunction that people are experiencing is I'm experiencing an internal state that I don't like,
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and I have all of these ways of avoiding what's happening inside of me. And
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so I think part of what we're talking about is how
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do we support people in turning towards the internal state that they're ultimately trying to avoid.
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And one of the things that I say to guys all the time is like, there's no change without some form of confrontation.
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There's no change without some form of confrontation.
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Super union, yeah.
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And it's like, but that's, and I think from a masculine perspective, that is something that we're really missing.
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Like a lot of young men are, they have been neutered when it comes to confrontation.
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They've been told that confrontation is toxic.
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They've been told that confrontation is bad.
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They're wrong for it and so they're really these fragile not just men
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and i was the same way right like i you know i was okay with getting into bar fights
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that was totally okay that type of confrontation was fine
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but i wasn't okay with the confrontation of like wow i feel really fucking sad
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or i feel really weak or i'm really scared about this thing
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that type of confrontation was never taught to me and i think
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that that's the case for
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so many people where they're not taught how to confront the hard negative perceived negative experiences
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that are going on inside of them a quick note lots of people tell us
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that youtube unsubscribes them from the channel even though they already pressed it
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so just check down there and see
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if the subscribe button is pressed you get access to episodes before anybody else
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if you do supports me and the show helps me to bring you bigger
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and better guests and it makes me very happy so just go
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and give it a tap for me i thank you
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a quick aside you probably heard me talk about element before
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and that's because i've started every single morning the same way for the last five years now
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and helps to regulate your appetite throughout the day i genuinely notice the difference
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which is why i don't shut up about it
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and also why it's used by everyone from Dr. Andrew Huberman to Olympic athletes
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That's drinklmnt .com slash modern wisdom.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “Why Watching Porn Ruins Your Brain”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: porn, dopamine, serotonin, chris, confrontation. This video has 186 sentences and 2237 words to shadow. The speech runs for 12:09. The speaker talks fast, about 184 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 83% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| confrontation noun | /ˌkɑn.fɹənˈteɪ.ʃən/ | The act of confronting or challenging another, especially face to face. |
| emotion noun | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | A person's internal state of being and involuntary physiological response to an object or a situation, based on or tied to physical state and sensory data. |
| element noun | /ˈɛləmənt/ | One of the simplest or essential parts or principles of which anything consists, or upon which the constitution or fundamental powers of anything are based. |
| habit noun | /ˈhæb.ɪt/ | An action performed on a regular basis. |
| enjoyable adjective | /ɛnˈd͡ʒɔɪ.ə.bl̩/ | Pleasant, capable of giving pleasure. |
| practical adjective | /ˈpɹæk.tɪ.kəl/ | Relating to, or based on, practice or action rather than theory or hypothesis. |
| chase verb | /t͡ʃeɪs/ | To follow at speed. |
| anger noun | /ˈæŋɡə/ | A strong and unpleasant feeling of displeasure, hostility, or antagonism, usually combined with an urge to yell, curse, damage or destroy things, or harm… |
| regret verb | /ɹɪˈɡɹɛt/ | To feel sorry about (a thing that has or has not happened), afterthink: to wish that a thing had not happened, that something else had happened instead. |
| chip noun | /t͡ʃɪp/ | A small piece broken from a larger piece of solid material. |
| wisdom noun | /ˈwɪzdəm/ | An element of personal character that enables one to distinguish the wise from the unwise. |
| lifestyle noun | /ˈlaɪfˌstaɪl/ | A style of living that reflects the attitudes and values of a person or group. |
| anytime adverb | At any time. | |
| decrease verb | /dɪˈkɹiːs/ | Of a quantity, to become smaller. |
| potato noun | /pəˈteɪ.təʊ/ | The edible starchy tuber of the plant species Solanum tuberosum. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| go away verb | To depart or leave a place. |
| play out verb | To play (a game etc.) to its conclusion. |
| figure out verb | To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce. |
| find out verb | To discover, as by asking or investigating. |
| have over verb | To host (a visiting guest) at one's house. |
| sit down verb | To assume a sitting position from a standing position. |
| turn off verb | To power down, to switch off, to put out of operation, to deactivate (an appliance, light, mechanism, functionality etc.). |
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | is traumatized · is set · is run |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | has created · has learned · i've given |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | someone who has · well, which is · people who dance |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 82 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, they're, you're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: breathe /bɹiːð/, athlete /ˈæθ.liːt/, methodology /ˌmɛθ.əˈdɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: confrontation /ˌkɑn.fɹənˈteɪ.ʃən/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, recognition /ˌɹɛkəɡˈnɪʃ(ə)n/, ratio /ˈɹeɪ.ʃoʊ/, artificial /ˌɑː.tɪˈfɪʃ.əl/
- Long words — get the stress right: confrontation /ˌkɑn.fɹənˈteɪ.ʃən/, complicated /ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/, recognition /ˌɹɛkəɡˈnɪʃ(ə)n/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, artificial /ˌɑː.tɪˈfɪʃ.əl/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like confrontation, emotion, element.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.