Prática de Shadowing: How to Set Boundaries at Home and at Work Without the Guilt - Aprenda a falar inglês com vídeo
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This morning in our series Life Lessons, we are talking about the importance of setting boundaries, whether it's at work or at home with loved ones.
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Speaking up for our needs can help create healthier relationships.
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Psychotherapist and author Nero Feliciano is going to walk us through it.
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We're lucky she's here.
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Good morning.
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Good morning.
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Great to see you.
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Okay, here's the thing though.
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This is hard, right?
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To set boundaries, to say things that you need.
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You can feel guilty about it, especially I think probably when it's home and loved ones.
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How can we get over that and do something
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that is healthy for us first of all you know i love me a boundary is my favorite b word
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so but it is so hard for people
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because they often perceive boundaries as unkind and inflexible
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but it's actually quite the opposite boundaries are a love language for ourselves
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and for everyone else because when we can protect our limits mentally
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and physically we show up better for people we feel more connected
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and here's the tip anyone who has issues with your boundaries they're the people who benefited from you not having them
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you know in fact how do you set them
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and i know personal boundaries are important
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but to your point those work boundaries you know those people
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who who benefit whether it's the boss who's sending you emails
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late late in the evening we're going to talk about
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that yeah so so how do we set healthy boundaries
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so here's some guidelines first we have to identify where do we need boundaries so any area of our life, relationship or situational, where we feel exhausted,
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depleted, resentful, that's a bigger one.
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There's likely a boundary that needed to be set that wasn't.
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We want to use I statements, not you, you, you that puts people on the defensive, but we're not controlling other people's behavior.
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We're defining our limits.
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And clear and direct, no convoluted explanations.
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No one wants to hear about your grandmother's cat
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that had eye surgery
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so you couldn't show up to the bar mitzvah we overshare yeah we overshare clear
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and kind so tone is also important like this dylan i would love to come
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but i i have a commitment
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that night thank you for thinking of me you know you felt loved
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but right i'm a problem yeah
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but that's fine i define my limit i'm not coming
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so let's go through some other prompts here let's start off with family
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and friends how can we tell the people we love we
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need some space big one especially for people who are a
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little overbearing i need to take some time for myself right now
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and find a better balance in my life okay what
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if someone is asking too many personal questions
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and we want to set a limit around a certain topic we all know people like
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that so two ways one we can deflect it no one wants to hear about me right now
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but tell me where did you get that fabulous dress
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or for some people we have to be more explicit i am not talking about my relationship status this tonight.
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So if someone brings it up, I'm going to change the topic, or I might have to leave.
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It seems so simple.
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But how do you get to that?
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Yeah.
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How do you get to that?
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So that you can define it simply.
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One, you have to know your limits.
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Again, what triggers you?
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What makes you feel stressed?
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Where are your limits?
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What are you okay with?
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What can you give in that moment?
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What about for that person who just offers too much advice?
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You just don't need it or want it.
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Every well -meaning auntie in every family.
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Yes, we can say, I appreciate your concern, but I've thought about this and I've figured it out.
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But what would help me is if you listened and supported my decision.
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So we're saying what we don't want, but also what we need to feel closer to each other.
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All right.
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What about in the workplace?
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Let's say you just feel like you have way too much on your plate.
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How do you communicate that? just
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so many people these days we can say given all of our deadlines right now this is
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when i can get you that information on monday oh
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and you're just like out of the gate setting expectations yes you are what about
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when somebody in these stressful work situations is rude to you
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oh this we get a lot right we can say i really want to have this conversation with you
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but when you are calm and can talk to me respectfully
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and funny thing i was saying this out loud my husband was like oh I've heard
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that a lot because I use boundaries it protects our relationships
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and that's it ensures the longevity of a relationship
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so what do you do
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when you're on the receiving end of somebody who's taken your
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advice about boundaries how do you how do you receive that
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and respond and if you feel like oh why are they not meeting my needs in
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that moment yes I want you to think about putting yourself in their shoes
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and practicing some empathy what are they going through right now where they're saying they can't do something
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or what they need from me we have to think about protecting their limits too
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and think about them doing that for themselves
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and also extend to them the grace you want for yourself sure
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when you need to set a limit with someone else
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because sometimes we feel like we're being rejected that's right we do yeah
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and that's why the tone is important when i said that to you I'm still coming across as kind and loving, but just explaining where my limit is.
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I want to put you in my pocket.
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No, I know.
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Pocket in a row.
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I'll take you along for all my social situations.
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I'll just come along.
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Little in a row, bring her out.
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What should I say?
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Texts that need a response.
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I'm overwhelmed.
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I don't know what to do.
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That would be great.
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You are the best.
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Obviously, we love you.
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Thank you so much.
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Vocabulário e dicas de fala para esta lição
Esta aula de conversação usa o vídeo “How to Set Boundaries at Home and at Work Without the Guilt”. As palavras que mais se repetem: boundaries, limit, relationship. Este vídeo tem 107 frases e 1078 palavras para praticar shadowing. A fala dura 5:29. O falante fala rápido, cerca de 196 palavras por minuto, então espere sons ligados e reduzidos. 87% das palavras estão entre as 3.000 mais comuns do inglês, por isso o vocabulário é fácil de acompanhar.
Vocabulário principal deste vídeo
15 palavras do vídeo que vale a pena aprender, com pronúncia e significado:
| Palavra | Pronúncia | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| boundary substantivo | /ˈbaʊndɹi/ | fronteira |
| define verbo | /dɪˈfaɪn/ | definir |
| tone substantivo | /ˈtəʊn/ | tom |
| topic substantivo | /ˈtɑpɪk/ | tópico, assunto |
| pocket substantivo | /ˈpɑ.kɪt/ | bolso, algibeira |
| gate substantivo | /ˈɡeɪ̯t/ | portão |
| explanation substantivo | /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/ | explicação, explanação |
| commitment substantivo | /kəˈmɪtmənt/ | compromisso, promessa |
| connect verbo | /kəˈnɛkt/ | conectar |
| defensive adjetivo | /dɪˈfɛn.sɪv/ | defensivo, defensante |
| extend verbo | /ɛkˈstɛnd/ | estender, ampliar |
| physically advérbio | /ˈfɪz.ɪ.kli/ | fisicamente |
| wherever | /(h)wɛɹˈɛvɚ/ | onde quer que |
| rude adjetivo | /ɹuːd/ | rude, estúpido |
| trigger substantivo | /ˈtɹɪɡɚ/ | gatilho |
Phrasal verbs que você vai ouvir
| Palavra | Significado |
|---|---|
| get over verbo | superar |
Frases que vale a pena repetir
Frases curtas e completas do vídeo que você pode usar na conversa do dia a dia:
- How do you get to that?
- What makes you feel stressed?
- What are you okay with?
- What can you give in that moment?
- How do you communicate that?
Gramática neste vídeo
As estruturas que o falante mais usa, com as palavras exatas do vídeo:
| Estrutura | No vídeo |
|---|---|
| Orações relativas who / which + oração — informação extra sobre uma pessoa ou coisa | anyone who has · people who are · person who just |
| Present perfect have/has + particípio passado — uma ação passada que ainda importa agora | I've thought · I've heard |
| Voz passiva be + particípio passado — o foco está no que acontece, não em quem faz | be set · being rejected |
Pronúncia para ficar de olho
O falante usa 26 contrações e formas reduzidas, como we're, I'm, don't. Diga-as na forma curta, do jeito que você ouve.
- Os sons de “sh” e “zh”: explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, shoe /ˈʃu/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, situational /sɪtjuːˈeɪʃənəl/
- Palavras longas — acerte a sílaba tônica: explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, longevity /lɒnˈd͡ʒɛv.ɪ.ti/, convoluted /ˌkɑnvəˈlutəd/
Sons difíceis para falantes de português:
- Consoante final — sem acrescentar um “i” depois: topic /ˈtɑpɪk/, pocket /ˈpɑ.kɪt/, gate /ˈɡeɪ̯t/, commitment /kəˈmɪtmənt/, connect /kəˈnɛkt/
- /l/ final — a língua toca o céu da boca, não vira “u”: stressful /ˈstɹɛsfəl/, resentful /ɹɪˈzɛntfəl/, situational /sɪtjuːˈeɪʃənəl/
Como praticar com este vídeo
- Ouça o vídeo inteiro uma vez sem falar e anote as palavras que você não conhece.
- Comece na velocidade 0,75×, faça shadowing frase por frase e volte à velocidade normal quando ficar fácil.
- Grave a sua voz e compare com o original, prestando atenção a palavras como boundary, define, tone.
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.