Prática de Shadowing: Why Every Couple Struggles With Closeness and Distance - Aprenda a falar inglês com vídeo
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In the life of every couple and individual lies a tension between two central and contrasting needs.
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The need for togetherness on the one hand and for separateness on the other.
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We all want at one level a lot of togetherness.
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We want to merge bodies, to sleep tightly entwined, to share every moment, to break down the barrier between I and you,
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to get back to what we all had at the start, complete union with someone else.
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But at another level we also very much want and need separateness.
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We have to maintain our integrity.
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We need time to think alone.
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We have to be ready to meet the obstacles and challenges of our working lives unaided.
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We want to get on with our projects and friendships.
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If we try to represent these two contrasting wishes with a motoring metaphor,
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we might say that there is in every love story an accelerator that points to togetherness and a brake that creates distance.
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We might also say that whenever a couple gets into trouble, it's in some way because the accelerator and brake functions have proved difficult.
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There is a muddle, there is exaggeration, no one is speaking about who is doing what and how.
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Ideally, both people can toggle gently and adroitly between brake and accelerator.
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They discuss, consciously and with kindness, their wishes for space and closeness.
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A period of intense togetherness can be followed, gracefully, by some distance.
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They can say, after a night of lovemaking and chat, let's spend tomorrow apart.
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They don't turn their fear of abandonment into a terror of persecution.
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They aren't so embarrassed about their need for separateness or afraid of the other's anger that they lapse into evasion or silence.
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But sadly, too often, things come very unstuck around brakes and accelerators.
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One person can't ever use the brake gently.
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They jerkily put an ocean between themselves and the partner that panics the other, who slams the accelerator in turn.
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One person has to carry all the yearning and need.
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The other gets to seem indifferent and aloof.
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One person is very, very hungry.
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The other person has to be in an anorexic fast, which is unfair on both of them.
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One person carries a fear that the moment they so much whisper that they need a bit of space, they'll set off fury in their partner.
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They can't find a way to admit to the humble, key and serene truth.
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They both, without being sadistic, need togetherness and separateness.
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At times, the wish for separateness can manifest itself in affairs or manic use of pornography or alcohol.
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Rather than being able to say, and before that to think, I'm in danger of being overwhelmed, the person acts out their wish for distance in a pain -inducing form.
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They start to message an ex.
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They use work as an excuse to spend a long time out of the house.
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They develop an obsession with sailing or fishing.
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Their symptoms jump into their bodies.
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They become unable to sleep anywhere near their partner.
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They can't orgasm with them.
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Sound use of brakes and accelerators is something that we should, if things go well, learn in childhood.
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It begins with mothers.
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They are initially entirely merged, quite literally, with their offspring.
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It's an enormous effort for them to give birth and then to let go, to let the child have its own wishes, its own preferences, its own moods,
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to allow the child to be separate without persecuting it.
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How tempting to hold the child too tightly or exile them.
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For their part, small children don't make any of this easy.
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They natively press the accelerator very hard.
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They may want to marry mummy.
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They want to spend all their time with daddy.
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They refuse to go to school.
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They don't want a sibling.
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It takes a lot of gentle, kindly care to help the child to find their way to separateness without too much humiliation or fear.
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A co -parent, who may or may not be dad, can be helpful.
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Humour comes in handy one might call jokes the perfect way to handle the tension between accelerator and brake.
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In adult life, the opposite of braking and accelerating willy -nilly is thinking.
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If we can think about all of this, we're spared the drama of having to act rashly or obscurely.
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We can say with love, I think we might both need some space after last night, or I think we need to see each other before we both get scared.
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The couple can get close and then take distance without becoming daunted or mean.
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The couple can laugh about how tricky it is to get text messaging or sleeping arrangements right.
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They learn how to drive without careering the car of love off the road.
📺 Mesmo canal
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Vocabulário e dicas de fala para esta lição
Este vídeo tem 59 frases e 805 palavras para praticar shadowing. A fala dura 4:50. O falante fala em ritmo natural, cerca de 167 palavras por minuto, próximo de uma conversa do dia a dia. Apenas 81% das palavras estão entre as 3.000 mais comuns do inglês, por isso o vocabulário é exigente.
Vocabulário principal deste vídeo
15 palavras menos comuns do vídeo, com pronúncia e significado:
- brake /bɹeɪk/ (substantivo) — freio, travão. A device used to slow or stop the motion of a wheel, or of a vehicle, usually by friction (although other resistive forces, such as electromagnetic fields or…
- contrast /kənˈt(ʃ)ɹæst/ (substantivo) — contraste. The degree of this difference.
- tension /ˈtɛnʃən/ (substantivo) — tensão. The condition of being held in a state between two or more forces, which are acting in opposition to each other.
- gently /ˈd͡ʒɛntli/ (advérbio) — gentilmente. Without strong force or quickness: softly, lightly.
- merge /mɝd͡ʒ/ (verbo) — unir, convergir. To combine into a whole.
- silence /ˈsaɪ̯ləns/ (substantivo) — silêncio. The absence of any sound.
- hungry /ˈhʌŋ.ɡɹi/ (adjetivo) — faminto, com fome. Affected by hunger; having the physical need for food.
- mood /muːd/ (substantivo) — humor, mau humor. A mental or emotional state, composure.
- helpful /ˈhɛlp.fl̩/ (adjetivo) — prestável, útil. Furnishing help; giving aid; useful.
- anger /ˈæŋɡə/ (substantivo) — raiva, ira. A strong and unpleasant feeling of displeasure, hostility, or antagonism, usually combined with an urge to yell, curse, damage or destroy things, or harm…
- marry /ˈmæɹi/ (verbo) — casar. To enter into the conjugal or connubial state; to take a husband or a wife.
- friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/ (substantivo) — amizade. The condition of being friends.
- intense /ɪnˈtɛns/ (adjetivo) — intenso. Of a characteristic: extreme or very high or strong in degree; severe; also, excessive, towering.
- refuse /ɹɪˈfjuːz/ (verbo) — recusar. To decline (a request or demand).
- daddy /ˈdædi/ (substantivo) — papá. Also used as a term of address: a father; one's father.
Phrasal verbs que você vai ouvir
- get into (verbo) — entrar em. To move into (an object), such that one ends up inside it.
- get on with (verbo) — andar logo com. To proceed with; to begin or continue, especially after an interruption.
- think about /ˈθɪŋk əˌbaʊt/ (verbo) — pensar em, pensar sobre. To ponder.
Pronúncia para ficar de olho
O falante usa 10 contrações e formas reduzidas, como can't, don't, aren't. Diga-as na forma curta, do jeito que você ouve.
- Os sons de “sh” e “zh”: contrast /kənˈt(ʃ)ɹæst/, tension /ˈtɛnʃən/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, obsession /əbˈsɛʃən/, persecution /ˌpɝsəˈkjuʃən/
- Palavras longas — acerte a sílaba tônica: integrity /ɪnˈtɛɡɹəti/, ideally /aɪˈdi.ə.li/, persecution /ˌpɝsəˈkjuʃən/, accelerate /ɪkˈsɛl.əˌɹeɪt/, pornography /pɔɹˈnɑ.ɡɹə.fi/
Como praticar com este vídeo
- Ouça o vídeo inteiro uma vez sem falar e anote as palavras que você não conhece.
- Comece na velocidade 0,75×, faça shadowing frase por frase e volte à velocidade normal quando ficar fácil.
- Grave a sua voz e compare com o original, prestando atenção a palavras como brake, contrast, tension.
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.