跟读练习: Why Every Couple Struggles With Closeness and Distance - 通过视频学习英语口语
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In the life of every couple and individual lies a tension between two central and contrasting needs.
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The need for togetherness on the one hand and for separateness on the other.
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We all want at one level a lot of togetherness.
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We want to merge bodies, to sleep tightly entwined, to share every moment, to break down the barrier between I and you,
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to get back to what we all had at the start, complete union with someone else.
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But at another level we also very much want and need separateness.
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We have to maintain our integrity.
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We need time to think alone.
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We have to be ready to meet the obstacles and challenges of our working lives unaided.
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We want to get on with our projects and friendships.
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If we try to represent these two contrasting wishes with a motoring metaphor,
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we might say that there is in every love story an accelerator that points to togetherness and a brake that creates distance.
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We might also say that whenever a couple gets into trouble, it's in some way because the accelerator and brake functions have proved difficult.
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There is a muddle, there is exaggeration, no one is speaking about who is doing what and how.
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Ideally, both people can toggle gently and adroitly between brake and accelerator.
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They discuss, consciously and with kindness, their wishes for space and closeness.
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A period of intense togetherness can be followed, gracefully, by some distance.
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They can say, after a night of lovemaking and chat, let's spend tomorrow apart.
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They don't turn their fear of abandonment into a terror of persecution.
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They aren't so embarrassed about their need for separateness or afraid of the other's anger that they lapse into evasion or silence.
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But sadly, too often, things come very unstuck around brakes and accelerators.
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One person can't ever use the brake gently.
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They jerkily put an ocean between themselves and the partner that panics the other, who slams the accelerator in turn.
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One person has to carry all the yearning and need.
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The other gets to seem indifferent and aloof.
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One person is very, very hungry.
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The other person has to be in an anorexic fast, which is unfair on both of them.
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One person carries a fear that the moment they so much whisper that they need a bit of space, they'll set off fury in their partner.
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They can't find a way to admit to the humble, key and serene truth.
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They both, without being sadistic, need togetherness and separateness.
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At times, the wish for separateness can manifest itself in affairs or manic use of pornography or alcohol.
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Rather than being able to say, and before that to think, I'm in danger of being overwhelmed, the person acts out their wish for distance in a pain -inducing form.
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They start to message an ex.
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They use work as an excuse to spend a long time out of the house.
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They develop an obsession with sailing or fishing.
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Their symptoms jump into their bodies.
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They become unable to sleep anywhere near their partner.
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They can't orgasm with them.
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Sound use of brakes and accelerators is something that we should, if things go well, learn in childhood.
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It begins with mothers.
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They are initially entirely merged, quite literally, with their offspring.
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It's an enormous effort for them to give birth and then to let go, to let the child have its own wishes, its own preferences, its own moods,
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to allow the child to be separate without persecuting it.
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How tempting to hold the child too tightly or exile them.
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For their part, small children don't make any of this easy.
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They natively press the accelerator very hard.
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They may want to marry mummy.
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They want to spend all their time with daddy.
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They refuse to go to school.
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They don't want a sibling.
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It takes a lot of gentle, kindly care to help the child to find their way to separateness without too much humiliation or fear.
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A co -parent, who may or may not be dad, can be helpful.
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Humour comes in handy one might call jokes the perfect way to handle the tension between accelerator and brake.
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In adult life, the opposite of braking and accelerating willy -nilly is thinking.
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If we can think about all of this, we're spared the drama of having to act rashly or obscurely.
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We can say with love, I think we might both need some space after last night, or I think we need to see each other before we both get scared.
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The couple can get close and then take distance without becoming daunted or mean.
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The couple can laugh about how tricky it is to get text messaging or sleeping arrangements right.
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They learn how to drive without careering the car of love off the road.
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本课的词汇与口语要点
这段视频共有 59 个句子、805 个单词可供跟读。 讲话部分时长为 4:50。 说话人语速自然，每分钟约 167 个词，接近日常对话。 只有 81% 的单词属于英语最常用的 3,000 词，词汇难度较高。
视频中的重点词汇
视频中 15 个不太常见的单词，附发音和释义：
- brake /bɹeɪk/ (名词) — 剎車 /刹车, 制動器 /制动器. A device used to slow or stop the motion of a wheel, or of a vehicle, usually by friction (although other resistive forces, such as electromagnetic fields or…
- contrast /kənˈt(ʃ)ɹæst/ (名词) — 对比度. The degree of this difference.
- tension /ˈtɛnʃən/ (名词) — 緊張 /紧张, 不安. The condition of being held in a state between two or more forces, which are acting in opposition to each other.
- merge /mɝd͡ʒ/ (动词) — 合并. To combine into a whole.
- silence /ˈsaɪ̯ləns/ (名词) — 沉默. The absence of any sound.
- hungry /ˈhʌŋ.ɡɹi/ (形容词) — 飢餓 /饥饿, 餓 /饿. Affected by hunger; having the physical need for food.
- mood /muːd/ (名词) — 心情, 情緒 /情绪. A mental or emotional state, composure.
- helpful /ˈhɛlp.fl̩/ (形容词) — 有幫助 /有帮助. Furnishing help; giving aid; useful.
- anger /ˈæŋɡə/ (名词) — 發怒 /发怒, 忿怒. A strong and unpleasant feeling of displeasure, hostility, or antagonism, usually combined with an urge to yell, curse, damage or destroy things, or harm…
- marry /ˈmæɹi/ (动词) — 結婚 /结婚, 嫁. To enter into the conjugal or connubial state; to take a husband or a wife.
- friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/ (名词) — 友誼 /友谊, 友情. The condition of being friends.
- refuse /ɹɪˈfjuːz/ (动词) — 拒絕 /拒绝, 回絕 /回绝. To decline (a request or demand).
- daddy /ˈdædi/ (名词) — 爸爸, 爹. Also used as a term of address: a father; one's father.
- panic /ˈpænɪk/ (名词) — 恐慌. Overwhelming fear or fright, often affecting groups of people or animals; (countable) an instance of this; a fright, a scare.
- terror /ˈtɛɹɚ/ (名词) — 詭異的事物 /诡异的事物, 恐怖. Intense dread, fright, or fear.
视频中出现的短语动词
- break down (动词) — 壞了 /坏了, 出故障. To stop functioning.
- get on with (动词) — 繼續 /继续, 持續 /持续. To proceed with; to begin or continue, especially after an interruption.
- set off (动词) — 出發 /出发. To leave; to set out; to begin a journey or trip.
需要注意的发音
说话人用了 10 次缩略和弱读形式，例如 can't, don't, aren't。请按听到的简短形式来说。
- “sh” 和 “zh” 音: contrast /kənˈt(ʃ)ɹæst/, tension /ˈtɛnʃən/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, obsession /əbˈsɛʃən/, persecution /ˌpɝsəˈkjuʃən/
- 长单词——注意重音位置: integrity /ɪnˈtɛɡɹəti/, ideally /aɪˈdi.ə.li/, persecution /ˌpɝsəˈkjuʃən/, accelerate /ɪkˈsɛl.əˌɹeɪt/, pornography /pɔɹˈnɑ.ɡɹə.fi/
如何用这段视频练习
- 先完整听一遍视频，不要开口，记下不认识的单词。
- 先用 0.75 倍速逐句跟读，熟练之后再回到正常速度。
- 录下自己的声音并与原声对比，特别注意 brake, contrast, tension 这类单词。
什么是跟读法？
跟读法 (Shadowing) 是一种有科学依据的语言学习技巧，最初开发用于专业口译员的培训，并由多语言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。这个方法简单而强大：您在听英语母语原声的同时立即大声重复——就像是一个延迟1-2秒紧跟说话者的影子。与被动听力或语法练习不同，跟读法强迫您的大脑和口腔肌肉同时处理并模仿真实的讲话模式。研究表明它能显着提高发音准确性，语调，节奏，连读，听力理解和口语流利度——使其成为雅思口语备考和真实英语交流最有效的方法之一。