Shadowing Practice: Why Every Couple Struggles With Closeness and Distance - Learn English Speaking with Video

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59 משפטים
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1
In the life of every couple and individual lies a tension between two central and contrasting needs.
2
The need for togetherness on the one hand and for separateness on the other.
3
We all want at one level a lot of togetherness.
4
We want to merge bodies, to sleep tightly entwined, to share every moment, to break down the barrier between I and you,
5
to get back to what we all had at the start, complete union with someone else.
6
But at another level we also very much want and need separateness.
7
We have to maintain our integrity.
8
We need time to think alone.
9
We have to be ready to meet the obstacles and challenges of our working lives unaided.
10
We want to get on with our projects and friendships.
11
If we try to represent these two contrasting wishes with a motoring metaphor,
12
we might say that there is in every love story an accelerator that points to togetherness and a brake that creates distance.
13
We might also say that whenever a couple gets into trouble, it's in some way because the accelerator and brake functions have proved difficult.
14
There is a muddle, there is exaggeration, no one is speaking about who is doing what and how.
15
Ideally, both people can toggle gently and adroitly between brake and accelerator.
16
They discuss, consciously and with kindness, their wishes for space and closeness.
17
A period of intense togetherness can be followed, gracefully, by some distance.
18
They can say, after a night of lovemaking and chat, let's spend tomorrow apart.
19
They don't turn their fear of abandonment into a terror of persecution.
20
They aren't so embarrassed about their need for separateness or afraid of the other's anger that they lapse into evasion or silence.
21
But sadly, too often, things come very unstuck around brakes and accelerators.
22
One person can't ever use the brake gently.
23
They jerkily put an ocean between themselves and the partner that panics the other, who slams the accelerator in turn.
24
One person has to carry all the yearning and need.
25
The other gets to seem indifferent and aloof.
26
One person is very, very hungry.
27
The other person has to be in an anorexic fast, which is unfair on both of them.
28
One person carries a fear that the moment they so much whisper that they need a bit of space, they'll set off fury in their partner.
29
They can't find a way to admit to the humble, key and serene truth.
30
They both, without being sadistic, need togetherness and separateness.
31
At times, the wish for separateness can manifest itself in affairs or manic use of pornography or alcohol.
32
Rather than being able to say, and before that to think, I'm in danger of being overwhelmed, the person acts out their wish for distance in a pain -inducing form.
33
They start to message an ex.
34
They use work as an excuse to spend a long time out of the house.
35
They develop an obsession with sailing or fishing.
36
Their symptoms jump into their bodies.
37
They become unable to sleep anywhere near their partner.
38
They can't orgasm with them.
39
Sound use of brakes and accelerators is something that we should, if things go well, learn in childhood.
40
It begins with mothers.
41
They are initially entirely merged, quite literally, with their offspring.
42
It's an enormous effort for them to give birth and then to let go, to let the child have its own wishes, its own preferences, its own moods,
43
to allow the child to be separate without persecuting it.
44
How tempting to hold the child too tightly or exile them.
45
For their part, small children don't make any of this easy.
46
They natively press the accelerator very hard.
47
They may want to marry mummy.
48
They want to spend all their time with daddy.
49
They refuse to go to school.
50
They don't want a sibling.
51
It takes a lot of gentle, kindly care to help the child to find their way to separateness without too much humiliation or fear.
52
A co -parent, who may or may not be dad, can be helpful.
53
Humour comes in handy one might call jokes the perfect way to handle the tension between accelerator and brake.
54
In adult life, the opposite of braking and accelerating willy -nilly is thinking.
55
If we can think about all of this, we're spared the drama of having to act rashly or obscurely.
56
We can say with love, I think we might both need some space after last night, or I think we need to see each other before we both get scared.
57
The couple can get close and then take distance without becoming daunted or mean.
58
The couple can laugh about how tricky it is to get text messaging or sleeping arrangements right.
59
They learn how to drive without careering the car of love off the road.

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אוצר מילים והערות הגייה לשיעור הזה

שיעור הדיבור הזה ברמה B2 מבוסס על הסרטון “Why Every Couple Struggles With Closeness and Distance”. המילים שחוזרות הכי הרבה: accelerator, brake, separateness, togetherness, distance. בסרטון הזה יש 59 משפטים ו-805 מילים לתרגול Shadowing. הדיבור נמשך 4:50. הדובר מדבר בקצב טבעי של כ-167 מילים בדקה, קרוב לשיחה יומיומית. רק 81% מהמילים נמצאות בין 3,000 המילים הנפוצות ביותר באנגלית, כך שאוצר המילים מאתגר.

אוצר מילים מרכזי בסרטון הזה

15 המילים המתקדמות ביותר בסרטון, עם ההגייה והמשמעות שלהן:

מילההגייהמשמעות
brake שם עצם/bɹeɪk/בְּלָמִים
merge פועל/mɝd͡ʒ/מיזג, מירג׳ג׳
abandonment שם עצם/əˈbæn.d(ə)n.m(ə)nt/נטישה, הפקרה
closeness שם עצם/ˈkloʊs.nəs/קִרְבָה
exaggeration שם עצם/ɪɡˌzæd͡ʒəˈɹeɪʃən/הגזמה, ניפוח
indifferent שם תואר/ɪnˈdɪf.ɹənt/אָדִישׁ
humiliation שם עצם/hjuːˌmɪliˈeɪʃən/הַשׁפָּלָה
mummy שם עצם/ˈmʌm.i/מוּמְיָה
sibling שם עצם/ˈsɪb.lɪŋ/אַחַאי
symptom שם עצם/ˈsɪm(p)təm/תַּסְמִין, סִימְפּטוֹם
pornography שם עצם/pɔɹˈnɑ.ɡɹə.fi/פּוֹרְנוֹגְרַפְיָה
accelerate פועל/ɪkˈsɛl.əˌɹeɪt/האיץ
orgasm שם עצם/ˈoɹ.ɡæ.zəm/אוֹרְגַּזְמָה, אֲבִיּוֹנָה
willow שם עצם/ˈwɪloʊ/עֲרָבָה
persecution שם עצם/ˌpɝsəˈkjuʃən/רדיפה

הגייה ששווה לשים לב אליה

הדובר משתמש ב-10 קיצורים וצורות מקוצרות, כמו can't, don't, aren't. אמרו אותם בצורה הקצרה, כפי שאתם שומעים אותם.

  • הצלילים של “sh” ו-“zh”: evasion /ɪˈveɪʒən/, exaggeration /ɪɡˌzæd͡ʒəˈɹeɪʃən/, humiliation /hjuːˌmɪliˈeɪʃən/, persecution /ˌpɝsəˈkjuʃən/, obsession /əbˈsɛʃən/
  • מילים ארוכות — שימו לב להטעמה: accelerator /əkˈsɛl.əˌɹeɪ.tɚ/, abandonment /əˈbæn.d(ə)n.m(ə)nt/, exaggeration /ɪɡˌzæd͡ʒəˈɹeɪʃən/, humiliation /hjuːˌmɪliˈeɪʃən/, pornography /pɔɹˈnɑ.ɡɹə.fi/

צלילים שדוברי עברית מתקשים בהם:

  • /w/ — שפתיים מעוגלות, לא /v/: entwine /ɪnˈtwaɪn/, overwhelm /ˌoʊ.vɚˈwɛlm/, willow /ˈwɪloʊ/, whisper /ˈ(h)wɪspɚ/
  • /æ/ — פתוח יותר מה-“אֶ” העברית, לא כמו “a” ב-“cup”: abandonment /əˈbæn.d(ə)n.m(ə)nt/, exaggeration /ɪɡˌzæd͡ʒəˈɹeɪʃən/, orgasm /ˈoɹ.ɡæ.zəm/, manifest /ˈmæn.ɪ.fɛst/, slam /ˈslæm/
  • /r/ — הלשון לא נוגעת בשום מקום, לא ה-“ר” הגרונית: accelerator /əkˈsɛl.əˌɹeɪ.tɚ/, brake /bɹeɪk/, adroitly /əˈdɹɔɪtli/, exaggeration /ɪɡˌzæd͡ʒəˈɹeɪʃən/, gracefully /ˈɡɹeɪsfəli/

איך לתרגל עם הסרטון הזה

  1. הקשיבו לכל הסרטון פעם אחת בלי לדבר, ורשמו את המילים שאתם לא מכירים.
  2. התחילו במהירות 0.75×, תרגלו Shadowing משפט אחר משפט, וחזרו למהירות רגילה כשזה מרגיש קל.
  3. הקליטו את עצמכם והשוו למקור, תוך תשומת לב למילים כמו brake, merge, abandonment.

מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?

שאדואינג היא טכניקת למידת שפה מבוססת מדע שפותחה במקור להכשרת מתורגמנים מקצועיים ופופולרית על ידי הפוליגלוט ד"ר אלכסנדר ארגואלס. השיטה פשוטה אך עוצמתית: אתה מקשיב לאודיו באנגלית ילידית וחוזר עליו בקול רם מיד — כמו צל העוקב אחרי הדובר עם עיכוב של 1–2 שניות בלבד. בניגוד להאזנה פסיבית או תרגילי דקדוק, שאדואינג מכריח את המוח והשרירים בפה לעבד ולשחזר דפוסי דיבור אמיתיים בו זמנית. מחקרים מראים שזה משפר משמעותית את דיוק ההגייה, האינטונציה, הקצב, הדיבור המחובר, הבנת השמיעה ושטף הדיבור — מה שהופך אותו לאחת השיטות היעילות ביותר להכנה לIELTS Speaking ולתקשורת באנגלית בעולם האמיתי.

טכניקת Shadowing: קרא את המדריך המלא שלב אחר שלב →