Pratique du Shadowing: Why Every Couple Struggles With Closeness and Distance - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
Création de la leçon...
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In the life of every couple and individual lies a tension between two central and contrasting needs.
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The need for togetherness on the one hand and for separateness on the other.
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We all want at one level a lot of togetherness.
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We want to merge bodies, to sleep tightly entwined, to share every moment, to break down the barrier between I and you,
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to get back to what we all had at the start, complete union with someone else.
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But at another level we also very much want and need separateness.
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We have to maintain our integrity.
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We need time to think alone.
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We have to be ready to meet the obstacles and challenges of our working lives unaided.
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We want to get on with our projects and friendships.
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If we try to represent these two contrasting wishes with a motoring metaphor,
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we might say that there is in every love story an accelerator that points to togetherness and a brake that creates distance.
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We might also say that whenever a couple gets into trouble, it's in some way because the accelerator and brake functions have proved difficult.
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There is a muddle, there is exaggeration, no one is speaking about who is doing what and how.
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Ideally, both people can toggle gently and adroitly between brake and accelerator.
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They discuss, consciously and with kindness, their wishes for space and closeness.
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A period of intense togetherness can be followed, gracefully, by some distance.
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They can say, after a night of lovemaking and chat, let's spend tomorrow apart.
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They don't turn their fear of abandonment into a terror of persecution.
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They aren't so embarrassed about their need for separateness or afraid of the other's anger that they lapse into evasion or silence.
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But sadly, too often, things come very unstuck around brakes and accelerators.
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One person can't ever use the brake gently.
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They jerkily put an ocean between themselves and the partner that panics the other, who slams the accelerator in turn.
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One person has to carry all the yearning and need.
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The other gets to seem indifferent and aloof.
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One person is very, very hungry.
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The other person has to be in an anorexic fast, which is unfair on both of them.
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One person carries a fear that the moment they so much whisper that they need a bit of space, they'll set off fury in their partner.
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They can't find a way to admit to the humble, key and serene truth.
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They both, without being sadistic, need togetherness and separateness.
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At times, the wish for separateness can manifest itself in affairs or manic use of pornography or alcohol.
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Rather than being able to say, and before that to think, I'm in danger of being overwhelmed, the person acts out their wish for distance in a pain -inducing form.
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They start to message an ex.
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They use work as an excuse to spend a long time out of the house.
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They develop an obsession with sailing or fishing.
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Their symptoms jump into their bodies.
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They become unable to sleep anywhere near their partner.
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They can't orgasm with them.
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Sound use of brakes and accelerators is something that we should, if things go well, learn in childhood.
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It begins with mothers.
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They are initially entirely merged, quite literally, with their offspring.
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It's an enormous effort for them to give birth and then to let go, to let the child have its own wishes, its own preferences, its own moods,
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to allow the child to be separate without persecuting it.
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How tempting to hold the child too tightly or exile them.
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For their part, small children don't make any of this easy.
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They natively press the accelerator very hard.
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They may want to marry mummy.
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They want to spend all their time with daddy.
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They refuse to go to school.
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They don't want a sibling.
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It takes a lot of gentle, kindly care to help the child to find their way to separateness without too much humiliation or fear.
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A co -parent, who may or may not be dad, can be helpful.
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Humour comes in handy one might call jokes the perfect way to handle the tension between accelerator and brake.
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In adult life, the opposite of braking and accelerating willy -nilly is thinking.
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If we can think about all of this, we're spared the drama of having to act rashly or obscurely.
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We can say with love, I think we might both need some space after last night, or I think we need to see each other before we both get scared.
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The couple can get close and then take distance without becoming daunted or mean.
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The couple can laugh about how tricky it is to get text messaging or sleeping arrangements right.
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They learn how to drive without careering the car of love off the road.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette vidéo contient 59 phrases et 805 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 4:50. Le locuteur parle à un rythme naturel d’environ 167 mots par minute, proche d’une conversation courante. Seuls 81 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais, le vocabulaire est donc exigeant.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
15 mots moins courants de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
- brake /bɹeɪk/ (nom) — frein. A device used to slow or stop the motion of a wheel, or of a vehicle, usually by friction (although other resistive forces, such as electromagnetic fields or…
- contrast /kənˈt(ʃ)ɹæst/ (nom) — contraste. The degree of this difference.
- tension /ˈtɛnʃən/ (nom) — tension. The condition of being held in a state between two or more forces, which are acting in opposition to each other.
- tightly /ˈtaɪtli/ (adverbe) — fermement. In a tight manner.
- merge /mɝd͡ʒ/ (verbe) — fusionner, amalgamer. To combine into a whole.
- silence /ˈsaɪ̯ləns/ (nom) — silence. The absence of any sound.
- hungry /ˈhʌŋ.ɡɹi/ (adjectif) — affamé, avoir faim. Affected by hunger; having the physical need for food.
- mood /muːd/ (nom) — humeur, mauvaise humeur. A mental or emotional state, composure.
- helpful /ˈhɛlp.fl̩/ (adjectif) — utile, serviable. Furnishing help; giving aid; useful.
- anger /ˈæŋɡə/ (nom) — colère, ire. A strong and unpleasant feeling of displeasure, hostility, or antagonism, usually combined with an urge to yell, curse, damage or destroy things, or harm…
- marry /ˈmæɹi/ (verbe) — se marier, épouser. To enter into the conjugal or connubial state; to take a husband or a wife.
- friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/ (nom) — amitié. The condition of being friends.
- refuse /ɹɪˈfjuːz/ (verbe) — refuser. To decline (a request or demand).
- daddy /ˈdædi/ (nom) — papa. Also used as a term of address: a father; one's father.
- spare /spɛɚ/ (adjectif) — rechange. Being more than what is necessary, or what must be used or reserved; not wanted, or not used; superfluous.
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
- act out /ˌækt ˈaʊ̯t/ (verbe) — jouer. To perform something specific.
- break down (verbe) — tomber en panne. To stop functioning.
- get on with (verbe) — retourner à. To proceed with; to begin or continue, especially after an interruption.
- think about /ˈθɪŋk əˌbaʊt/ (verbe) — penser à, réfléchir à. To ponder.
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 10 contractions et formes réduites, comme can't, don't, aren't. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: contrast /kənˈt(ʃ)ɹæst/, tension /ˈtɛnʃən/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, obsession /əbˈsɛʃən/, persecution /ˌpɝsəˈkjuʃən/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: integrity /ɪnˈtɛɡɹəti/, ideally /aɪˈdi.ə.li/, persecution /ˌpɝsəˈkjuʃən/, accelerate /ɪkˈsɛl.əˌɹeɪt/, pornography /pɔɹˈnɑ.ɡɹə.fi/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme brake, contrast, tension.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.