Pratica di Shadowing: Why Every Couple Struggles With Closeness and Distance - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
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In the life of every couple and individual lies a tension between two central and contrasting needs.
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The need for togetherness on the one hand and for separateness on the other.
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We all want at one level a lot of togetherness.
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We want to merge bodies, to sleep tightly entwined, to share every moment, to break down the barrier between I and you,
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to get back to what we all had at the start, complete union with someone else.
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But at another level we also very much want and need separateness.
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We have to maintain our integrity.
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We need time to think alone.
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We have to be ready to meet the obstacles and challenges of our working lives unaided.
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We want to get on with our projects and friendships.
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If we try to represent these two contrasting wishes with a motoring metaphor,
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we might say that there is in every love story an accelerator that points to togetherness and a brake that creates distance.
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We might also say that whenever a couple gets into trouble, it's in some way because the accelerator and brake functions have proved difficult.
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There is a muddle, there is exaggeration, no one is speaking about who is doing what and how.
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Ideally, both people can toggle gently and adroitly between brake and accelerator.
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They discuss, consciously and with kindness, their wishes for space and closeness.
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A period of intense togetherness can be followed, gracefully, by some distance.
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They can say, after a night of lovemaking and chat, let's spend tomorrow apart.
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They don't turn their fear of abandonment into a terror of persecution.
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They aren't so embarrassed about their need for separateness or afraid of the other's anger that they lapse into evasion or silence.
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But sadly, too often, things come very unstuck around brakes and accelerators.
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One person can't ever use the brake gently.
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They jerkily put an ocean between themselves and the partner that panics the other, who slams the accelerator in turn.
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One person has to carry all the yearning and need.
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The other gets to seem indifferent and aloof.
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One person is very, very hungry.
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The other person has to be in an anorexic fast, which is unfair on both of them.
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One person carries a fear that the moment they so much whisper that they need a bit of space, they'll set off fury in their partner.
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They can't find a way to admit to the humble, key and serene truth.
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They both, without being sadistic, need togetherness and separateness.
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At times, the wish for separateness can manifest itself in affairs or manic use of pornography or alcohol.
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Rather than being able to say, and before that to think, I'm in danger of being overwhelmed, the person acts out their wish for distance in a pain -inducing form.
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They start to message an ex.
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They use work as an excuse to spend a long time out of the house.
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They develop an obsession with sailing or fishing.
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Their symptoms jump into their bodies.
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They become unable to sleep anywhere near their partner.
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They can't orgasm with them.
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Sound use of brakes and accelerators is something that we should, if things go well, learn in childhood.
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It begins with mothers.
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They are initially entirely merged, quite literally, with their offspring.
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It's an enormous effort for them to give birth and then to let go, to let the child have its own wishes, its own preferences, its own moods,
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to allow the child to be separate without persecuting it.
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How tempting to hold the child too tightly or exile them.
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For their part, small children don't make any of this easy.
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They natively press the accelerator very hard.
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They may want to marry mummy.
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They want to spend all their time with daddy.
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They refuse to go to school.
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They don't want a sibling.
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It takes a lot of gentle, kindly care to help the child to find their way to separateness without too much humiliation or fear.
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A co -parent, who may or may not be dad, can be helpful.
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Humour comes in handy one might call jokes the perfect way to handle the tension between accelerator and brake.
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In adult life, the opposite of braking and accelerating willy -nilly is thinking.
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If we can think about all of this, we're spared the drama of having to act rashly or obscurely.
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We can say with love, I think we might both need some space after last night, or I think we need to see each other before we both get scared.
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The couple can get close and then take distance without becoming daunted or mean.
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The couple can laugh about how tricky it is to get text messaging or sleeping arrangements right.
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They learn how to drive without careering the car of love off the road.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questo video contiene 59 frasi e 805 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 4:50. Chi parla ha un ritmo naturale di circa 167 parole al minuto, vicino a una conversazione quotidiana. Solo il 81% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese, quindi il lessico è impegnativo.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole meno comuni del video, con pronuncia e significato:
- brake /bɹeɪk/ (sostantivo) — freno. A device used to slow or stop the motion of a wheel, or of a vehicle, usually by friction (although other resistive forces, such as electromagnetic fields or…
- contrast /kənˈt(ʃ)ɹæst/ (sostantivo) — contrasto. The degree of this difference.
- tension /ˈtɛnʃən/ (sostantivo) — tensione. The condition of being held in a state between two or more forces, which are acting in opposition to each other.
- gently /ˈd͡ʒɛntli/ (avverbio) — soavemente, dolcemente. Without strong force or quickness: softly, lightly.
- tightly /ˈtaɪtli/ (avverbio) — strettamente. In a tight manner.
- merge /mɝd͡ʒ/ (verbo) — fondersi, unirsi. To combine into a whole.
- silence /ˈsaɪ̯ləns/ (sostantivo) — silenzio. The absence of any sound.
- hungry /ˈhʌŋ.ɡɹi/ (aggettivo) — affamato, avere fame. Affected by hunger; having the physical need for food.
- mood /muːd/ (sostantivo) — umore, cattivo umore. A mental or emotional state, composure.
- helpful /ˈhɛlp.fl̩/ (aggettivo) — disponibile, utile. Furnishing help; giving aid; useful.
- anger /ˈæŋɡə/ (sostantivo) — ira, rabbia. A strong and unpleasant feeling of displeasure, hostility, or antagonism, usually combined with an urge to yell, curse, damage or destroy things, or harm…
- marry /ˈmæɹi/ (verbo) — sposare. To enter into the conjugal or connubial state; to take a husband or a wife.
- friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/ (sostantivo) — amicizia. The condition of being friends.
- intense /ɪnˈtɛns/ (aggettivo) — intenso. Of a characteristic: extreme or very high or strong in degree; severe; also, excessive, towering.
- refuse /ɹɪˈfjuːz/ (verbo) — rifiutare. To decline (a request or demand).
I phrasal verb che sentirai
- set off (verbo) — causare, determinare. To leave; to set out; to begin a journey or trip.
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 10 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come can't, don't, aren't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: contrast /kənˈt(ʃ)ɹæst/, tension /ˈtɛnʃən/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, obsession /əbˈsɛʃən/, persecution /ˌpɝsəˈkjuʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: integrity /ɪnˈtɛɡɹəti/, ideally /aɪˈdi.ə.li/, persecution /ˌpɝsəˈkjuʃən/, accelerate /ɪkˈsɛl.əˌɹeɪt/, pornography /pɔɹˈnɑ.ɡɹə.fi/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come brake, contrast, tension.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.