Pratique du Shadowing: How to Set Boundaries at Home and at Work Without the Guilt - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo

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This morning in our series Life Lessons, we are talking about the importance of setting boundaries, whether it's at work or at home with loved ones.

Speaking up for our needs can help create healthier relationships.

Psychotherapist and author Nero Feliciano is going to walk us through it.

We're lucky she's here.

Good morning.

Great to see you.

Okay, here's the thing though.

This is hard, right?

To set boundaries, to say things that you need.

You can feel guilty about it, especially I think probably when it's home and loved ones.

How can we get over that and do something

that is healthy for us first of all you know i love me a boundary is my favorite b word

so but it is so hard for people

because they often perceive boundaries as unkind and inflexible

but it's actually quite the opposite boundaries are a love language for ourselves

and for everyone else because when we can protect our limits mentally

and physically we show up better for people we feel more connected

and here's the tip anyone who has issues with your boundaries they're the people who benefited from you not having them

you know in fact how do you set them

and i know personal boundaries are important

but to your point those work boundaries you know those people

who who benefit whether it's the boss who's sending you emails

late late in the evening we're going to talk about

that yeah so so how do we set healthy boundaries

so here's some guidelines first we have to identify where do we need boundaries so any area of our life, relationship or situational, where we feel exhausted,

depleted, resentful, that's a bigger one.

There's likely a boundary that needed to be set that wasn't.

We want to use I statements, not you, you, you that puts people on the defensive, but we're not controlling other people's behavior.

We're defining our limits.

And clear and direct, no convoluted explanations.

No one wants to hear about your grandmother's cat

that had eye surgery

so you couldn't show up to the bar mitzvah we overshare yeah we overshare clear

and kind so tone is also important like this dylan i would love to come

but i i have a commitment

that night thank you for thinking of me you know you felt loved

but right i'm a problem yeah

but that's fine i define my limit i'm not coming

so let's go through some other prompts here let's start off with family

and friends how can we tell the people we love we

need some space big one especially for people who are a

little overbearing i need to take some time for myself right now

and find a better balance in my life okay what

if someone is asking too many personal questions

and we want to set a limit around a certain topic we all know people like

that so two ways one we can deflect it no one wants to hear about me right now

but tell me where did you get that fabulous dress

or for some people we have to be more explicit i am not talking about my relationship status this tonight.

So if someone brings it up, I'm going to change the topic, or I might have to leave.

It seems so simple.

But how do you get to that?

Yeah.

How do you get to that?

So that you can define it simply.

One, you have to know your limits.

Again, what triggers you?

What makes you feel stressed?

Where are your limits?

What are you okay with?

What can you give in that moment?

What about for that person who just offers too much advice?

You just don't need it or want it.

Every well -meaning auntie in every family.

Yes, we can say, I appreciate your concern, but I've thought about this and I've figured it out.

But what would help me is if you listened and supported my decision.

So we're saying what we don't want, but also what we need to feel closer to each other.

All right.

What about in the workplace?

Let's say you just feel like you have way too much on your plate.

How do you communicate that? just

so many people these days we can say given all of our deadlines right now this is

when i can get you that information on monday oh

and you're just like out of the gate setting expectations yes you are what about

when somebody in these stressful work situations is rude to you

oh this we get a lot right we can say i really want to have this conversation with you

but when you are calm and can talk to me respectfully

and funny thing i was saying this out loud my husband was like oh I've heard

that a lot because I use boundaries it protects our relationships

and that's it ensures the longevity of a relationship

so what do you do

when you're on the receiving end of somebody who's taken your

advice about boundaries how do you how do you receive that

and respond and if you feel like oh why are they not meeting my needs in

that moment yes I want you to think about putting yourself in their shoes

and practicing some empathy what are they going through right now where they're saying they can't do something

or what they need from me we have to think about protecting their limits too

and think about them doing that for themselves

and also extend to them the grace you want for yourself sure

when you need to set a limit with someone else

because sometimes we feel like we're being rejected that's right we do yeah

and that's why the tone is important when i said that to you I'm still coming across as kind and loving, but just explaining where my limit is.

I want to put you in my pocket.

No, I know.

Pocket in a row.

I'll take you along for all my social situations.

I'll just come along.

Little in a row, bring her out.

What should I say?

100

Texts that need a response.

101

I'm overwhelmed.

102

I don't know what to do.

103

That would be great.

104

You are the best.

105

Obviously, we love you.

106

Thank you so much.

107

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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon

Cette leçon d’expression orale s’appuie sur la vidéo « How to Set Boundaries at Home and at Work Without the Guilt ». Les mots qui reviennent le plus souvent : boundaries, limit, relationship. Cette vidéo contient 107 phrases et 1078 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 5:29. Le locuteur parle vite, environ 196 mots par minute : attendez-vous à des liaisons et à des sons réduits. 87 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais, le vocabulaire est donc facile à suivre.

Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo

15 mots de la vidéo à retenir, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :

Mot	Prononciation	Sens
boundary nom	/ˈbaʊndɹi/	frontière, limite
define verbe	/dɪˈfaɪn/	déterminer
tone nom	/ˈtəʊn/	ton
topic nom	/ˈtɑpɪk/	sujet, thème
pocket nom	/ˈpɑ.kɪt/	poche
gate nom	/ˈɡeɪ̯t/	portail, porte
explanation nom	/ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/	explication
commitment nom	/kəˈmɪtmənt/	engagement
connect verbe	/kəˈnɛkt/	accoupler, connecter
defensive adjectif	/dɪˈfɛn.sɪv/	défensif, defendant
extend verbe	/ɛkˈstɛnd/	étendre
physically adverbe	/ˈfɪz.ɪ.kli/	physiquement
wherever	/(h)wɛɹˈɛvɚ/	où, là où
rude adjectif	/ɹuːd/	impoli, malpoli
trigger nom	/ˈtɹɪɡɚ/	détente, gâchette

Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez

Mot	Sens
go through verbe	traverser
come across verbe	avoir l'air de
come along verbe	accompagner, venir
get over verbe	surmonter
show up verbe	apparaître, se montrer se pointer

Des phrases à répéter

Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :

How do you get to that?
What makes you feel stressed?
What are you okay with?
What can you give in that moment?
How do you communicate that?

La grammaire de cette vidéo

Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :

Structure	Dans la vidéo
Propositions relatives who / which + proposition — une précision sur une personne ou une chose	anyone who has · people who are · person who just
Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant	I've thought · I've heard
Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait	be set · being rejected

Prononciation à surveiller

Le locuteur utilise 26 contractions et formes réduites, comme we're, I'm, don't. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.

Les sons « sh » et « zh »: explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, shoe /ˈʃu/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, situational /sɪtjuːˈeɪʃənəl/
Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, longevity /lɒnˈd͡ʒɛv.ɪ.ti/, convoluted /ˌkɑnvəˈlutəd/

Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :

/r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: boundary /ˈbaʊndɹi/, wherever /(h)wɛɹˈɛvɚ/, rude /ɹuːd/, trigger /ˈtɹɪɡɚ/, stressful /ˈstɹɛsfəl/

Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo

Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme boundary, define, tone.

Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?

Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.

Technique du shadowing : lire le guide complet étape par étape →

Pratique du Shadowing: How to Set Boundaries at Home and at Work Without the Guilt - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo

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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon

Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo

Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez

Des phrases à répéter

La grammaire de cette vidéo

Prononciation à surveiller

Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo

Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?