Shadowing Practice: Identity Crisis: Why Defining Yourself by Your Career Is a Problem - Learn English Speaking with Video
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These days, you can't get anywhere without having a big argument about identity politics.
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I'm this, you're that, I'm a Democrat, you're Republican, I'm a liberal, you're conservative, whatever it happens to be.
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And those sorts of identities are critically important.
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A lot of people in business, they shy away from those identity politics discussions, but they have identity politics all their own.
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They have an identity as a successful person.
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They have an identity that revolves around their excellence in their job.
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Who are you?
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You know, I'm a father and a grandfather, I'm a husband, you know.
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But when people ask me that question, I say I'm a professor at the Harvard Business School.
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Why?
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Because that's my identity.
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Okay, that's a way to identify myself to be sure, but if that's how I see me,
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that's a real problem, isn't it? strips away the really important things that I have in my life.
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For those who see their identity as being a successful professional, specifically successful, that's kind of an identity based on fear, isn't it?
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We all have fears.
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I mean, I have fears.
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It's normal to be afraid of things.
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But a fear of an attack on your identity, that's actually a death fear.
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That's important.
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Only 20% of the population is actually afraid of dying.
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And a lot of people who are really good at what they do, a lot of my students, a lot of the people watching this, they're desperately afraid of failing at work.
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And that leads to a lot of behavior that's not very healthy, as a matter of fact.
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That kind of a stripped down, cardboard cutout version of one's self, which is not good for you, it's not good for your relationships.
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People ask me this all the time who are extremely successful in business, as a matter of fact, who are afraid of failure, and they say, look, I need to get over this, but I don't want to fail.
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What do you recommend?
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I actually have an exercise for that.
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It's called the Maranasati Death Meditation, adapted for professional failure.
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It actually comes from Theravada Buddhism on the southern tier of Asia, of Asia where the Buddhists would practice a contemplation of their own death.
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If you go into a Buddhist monastery in Thailand or Vietnam or Myanmar,
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Sri Lanka, you'll often find that the walls are adorned with photos of corpses in different states of decay.
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And you're like, wow, that's really morbid.
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It's not, it turns out.
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What happens is that the monks and nuns will contemplate those photos and they will look at each one and say, that is me, and that is me.
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And they'll go through this Marnasati, nine-part death meditation, where they contemplate different stages of a body and a body in different states of decomposition.
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They'll say, that's me.
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That's going to be me.
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That's me.
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Why?
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Because they're exposing themselves to the truth of their own mortality such
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that they can transcend it and actually be fully alive right now.
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You see how healthy that is, right?
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Well, for people who are desperately afraid of the death of their identity as a successful person,
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they need to be exposed to that reality as well.
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Because the truth of the matter is, I don't care who's watching this.
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I don't care how successful you are.
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The party's going to finish, man.
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It's not going to last forever.
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And you have to be comfortable with that
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so you can fully be alive and involved in what's going on in your life today.
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Otherwise, you'll be immobilized by the fear of something that paradoxically is the most normal,
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most predictable thing in your whole life.
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Which is that this is going to stop.
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I recommend putting together a little nine-part meditation where you say, starting off saying, I feel like I'm losing my edge at work.
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I don't know.
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You know, my decision making isn't as crisp as it once was.
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And people are starting to notice it.
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Step two might be, people are starting to make remarks about the fact that I'm losing a step.
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Step three might be, I'm thinking the board is starting to talk about my replacement.
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And they're not including me in the discussions.
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Step four is, I'm pretty sure that the end is coming for my career.
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I'm pretty sure.
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I don't want it to come, but I'm pretty sure it's coming.
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Step five is, I've just gotten the word that I have to retire, even though it's not what I wanted to do.
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Step six might be, yeah, I kind of got forced out.
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And the worst part is, I don't think people remember me for what I used to do.
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They just think of me as the guy who got, they got forced out of the job.
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Step seven is, I just went back to my workplace and it's only six months, but a lot of people are new and they didn't know who I am.
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Step eight is I moved away, you know, and now the people that I talk to, they just think of me as a retired person.
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They don't even ask about what I used to do.
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And step nine might be most days I don't even think about what I used to do.
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I'm just living a different life at this point.
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Now, I realize that sounds really negative, but it isn't.
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But it isn't.
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It's normal.
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Think about those things for two minutes each.
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Do that for three weeks and you'll be a different person.
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Why?
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Not because you failed.
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That's not even failure, by the way.
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It's normal life.
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You will no longer be afraid.
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You will no longer be afraid of these things actually happening to you
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because they will have happened to you in your mind.
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They will have happened to you in your heart.
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And you'll be comfortable with the fact that you have a trajectory of your success and the value you're trying to create.
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And when it's over, you're going to submit because that's the only choice.
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And then, then you'll be at peace.
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Everybody needs to manage their own life like a project and understand that your skills and interests are going to change.
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To do things on purpose, to recognize that the good times are not going to last forever
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and you have to engineer new good times under different circumstances.
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That's now what I talk about with people who are getting older
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and that's the advice I'm taking for myself and I don't know.
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I'm actually at peace for the first time in a long time.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This video has 93 sentences and 1119 words to shadow. The speech runs for 6:14. The speaker talks at a natural 179 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 87% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 less common words from the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
- meditation /mɛdɪˈteɪʃn̩/ (noun) — A devotional exercise of, or leading to, contemplation.
- strip /ˈstɹɪp/ (verb) — To remove or take away, often in strips or stripes.
- retire /ɹəˈtaɪɹ/ (verb) — To stop working on a permanent basis, usually because of old age or illness.
- desperately /ˈdɛs.p(ə.)ɹət.li/ (adverb) — In a desperate manner; without regard to danger or safety; recklessly.
- expose /ɪkˈspoʊz/ (verb) — To reveal; to uncover; to make visible; to bring to light.
- replacement /ɹɪˈpleɪsmənt/ (noun) — A person or thing that takes the place of another; a substitute.
- skill /skɪl/ (noun) — A capacity to do something well; a technique, an ability, usually acquired or learned, as opposed to abilities that are regarded as innate.
- submit /səbˈmɪt/ (verb) — To yield or give way to another.
- grandfather /ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌfɑðɚ/ (noun) — A father of someone's parent.
- tier /ˈtɪɚ/ (noun) — A row or range, especially one at a higher or lower level than another.
- excellence /ˈɛksələns/ (noun) — The quality of being excellent; brilliance
- workplace /ˈwɝkˌpleɪs/ (noun) — The place where someone works.
- adapt /əˈdæpt/ (verb) — To make suitable; to make to correspond; to fit or suit.
- monk /mʌŋk/ (noun) — A male member of a monastic order who has devoted his life for religious service.
- mortality /mɔɹˈtælɪti/ (noun) — The state of being susceptible to death.
Phrasal verbs you will hear
- talk about (verb) — Used to draw attention to the speaker's characterization of someone or something.
- think about /ˈθɪŋk əˌbaʊt/ (verb) — To ponder.
- come for (verb) — To search for someone with the intent to apprehend or cause harm.
- come from (verb) — To have as one's origin, birthplace or nationality.
- get over (verb) — To overcome.
- go back to (verb) — To stem from; to originate in.
- go into (verb) — To get involved in; to investigate or explore.
- go through (verb) — To travel from one end of something to the other.
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 48 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, don't, you're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: meditation /mɛdɪˈteɪʃn̩/, contemplation /ˌkɑntəmˈpleɪʃən/, decomposition /diːˌkɒmpəˈzɪʃən/
- Long words — get the stress right: desperately /ˈdɛs.p(ə.)ɹət.li/, mortality /mɔɹˈtælɪti/, critically /ˈkɹɪt.ɪ.kə.li/, predictable /pɹəˈdɪktəbləl/, monastery /ˈmɑnəˌstɛɹi/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like meditation, strip, retire.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| “Used to” used to + verb — a past habit or state that is no longer true | used to do |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | those who see · people who are · self, which is |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | are adorned · be exposed · be immobilized |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.